Expat Families And The Long Haul

[autonomous_unit]

For those expats married to Thais who have or will be in Thailand during child-rearing years... here's a topic that would go great with beer in hand.

Do you have strong opinions as to whether children should be raised and educated in Thailand versus your original country? If so, is your preference different depending on the age of the children, e.g. some years better spent here and some years better spent there?

Are your choices based on where you want (or need) to be for lifestyle, career, family, etc. or based on what you think will better prepare your children for their adult lives?

Assuming that you chose to come to Thailand as an adult, do you feel comfortable making that choice for your children (through the environment you provide them) or do you think they can be brought up with the opportunity and perspective to make their own choice when they are old enough?

Or do you reject my entire line of questioning as tipping towards determinism?

[TizMe]

A good student will do well in a crap school.

A poor student will do crap in a good school.

The best thing that an expat parent can give their children in Thailand is a good understanding of the English language.

[Mango-Guy]

I'd definitley aim for as much Western education / language as possible as the kids will pick up the Thai culture / language just by being there. It's almost a losing battle for an LK to become fully Thai as the farang parent will always be an achilles heel - the better aproach IMHO is for the LK to be raised as an international person (which she is and which is a competitive advantage) that has near native credentials.

[singa-traz]

Assuming you put your kids to a Thai School ... and later on you have to go back "home" ... do you think they will be prepare for this, from an education (I mean, school) perspective ?

As for the way, you as parents, educate your children, I don't think location is very important.

[autonomous_unit]

Thanks, all. This question is still a bit theoretical for us, but we will probably be putting theory to practice in the next few years! Have you made an assumption that your kids will want to make their lives here or there? Or do you think its equal odds either way?

Because my wife went abroad starting with university, I am aware of some deficiencies in Thai schools for which I would want to compensate in case the kids want to study abroad. One problem is structured, rote learning; students are at a real disadvantage going to a western university if they do not learn to think beyond (nor question) the course work and teacher-provided material. A related problem is the face-saving and social hierarchy which does not prepare one for group dynamics or leadership in the US!

Less pragmatic are the subtle issues of culture. For example, I wonder if it is possible for a kid growing up in Thailand, with all the corruption and rule-bending discussed on these forums, to really appreciate or take for granted the sense of individual freedom, fairness, and responsibility that I got in the US? How much comes from the family and how much comes from the larger environment of childhood?

Also, it seems to me that educating kids to function better in the western environment in many regards may further diminish their ability to fit happily into the Thai culture. My wife even feels that she doesn't understand people here, having spending ages 18-30 in the US...

We have to make many life-affecting cultural decisions for our kids before they are old enough to have any say in the matter. Does this bother anyone, or should we just be happy to face these choices rather than to be blindly following the patterns assumed in one culture shared by both parents?

[Dutchy2]

For those expats married to Thais who have or will be in Thailand during child-rearing years... here's a topic that would go great with beer in hand.

Do you have strong opinions as to whether children should be raised and educated in Thailand versus your original country? If so, is your preference different depending on the age of the children, e.g. some years better spent here and some years better spent there?

Are your choices based on where you want (or need) to be for lifestyle, career, family, etc. or based on what you think will better prepare your children for their adult lives?

Assuming that you chose to come to Thailand as an adult, do you feel comfortable making that choice for your children (through the environment you provide them) or do you think they can be brought up with the opportunity and perspective to make their own choice when they are old enough?

Or do you reject my entire line of questioning as tipping towards determinism?

A difficult problem, I've decided to send my kids to an international school. The main reason for this is that I do not see our long term future in Thailand, a good education is then important and Thai schools can not offer anything decent apart from some Triom Udom Suksa high schools.

Studying abroad is somethng else then, why would one do that when one wants to stay in Thailand. Look at the Thai government, most of them studied abroad, they hated it so much that they thought: "Now we're back in Thailand, we're gonna do it our way, regardless of logical sense." It seems like a waste of time for the Thais.

Apart from the fact that Thais that studied abroad in general still get peanuts, it's just no use..

Our kids go to a prime school, costs me half of my yearly salary but I do think that it's worth it. The kids are happy and so are we.

[OldAsiaHand]

Less pragmatic are the subtle issues of culture. For example, I wonder if it is possible for a kid growing up in Thailand, with all the corruption and rule-bending discussed on these forums, to really appreciate or take for granted the sense of individual freedom, fairness, and responsibility that I got in the US?

In a word, no.

We initially made the conscious choice that our children would go to international schools in Thailand for a variety of personal reasons. It was the wrong choice, and it was wrong because of exactly what you pinpoint here.

Growing up in this culture handicaps a child forever. Just look around you. Our children are now in school overseas and they are both growing into intelligent, curious, thoughtful, well-adjusted people. We don't think that would have been nearly as likely if they had continued in international schools here.

[Dutchy2]

Less pragmatic are the subtle issues of culture. For example, I wonder if it is possible for a kid growing up in Thailand, with all the corruption and rule-bending discussed on these forums, to really appreciate or take for granted the sense of individual freedom, fairness, and responsibility that I got in the US?

In a word, no.

We initially made the conscious choice that our children would go to international schools in Thailand for a variety of personal reasons. It was the wrong choice, and it was wrong because of exactly what you pinpoint here.

Growing up in this culture handicaps a child forever. Just look around you. Our children are now in school overseas and they are both growing into intelligent, curious, thoughtful, well-adjusted people. We don't think that would have been nearly as likely if they had continued in international schools here.

this makes certainly sense but what after graduating abroad, back to Thailand? That wouldn't make sense as they wouldn't know what it is to work here. Do you have any idea what your children want to do when they're done studying?

It really looks like Thailand is a deadend street for people with children to me, there's no sensible way to prepare them for a good future here in Thailand. Hence our decision not to make it a permanent base.

Cheers,

Dutchy

[OldAsiaHand]

this makes certainly sense but what after graduating abroad, back to Thailand? That wouldn't make sense as they wouldn't know what it is to work here. Do you have any idea what your children want to do when they're done studying?

It really looks like Thailand is a deadend street for people with children to me, there's no sensible way to prepare them for a good future here in Thailand. Hence our decision not to make it a permanent base.

Dutchy

We can't stop them if they want to come back to Thailand to live their lives, of course, but we both certainly hope they will make a more enlightened decision than that and reach for more of a life than that would give them access to.

Yes, I agree Thailand is a dead end, both for people with children and in other ways, which probably explains why so many foreigners you meet here are people who have reached a dead end in their own lives.

My wife and I came to the same decision you have. We have never once since doubted it was the right one.

[Axel]

Our son arrived in LoS at age of 10, had studied for 5 years in a American school abroad, we entered him into the Swiss school in Minburi.

This school follows Swiss (actually Canton Lucerne) rules. He got his diploma right here in Minburi, albeit issued in Lucerne and is now able to study in Switzerland as well as to enter any university within the EU as the school is recognized by Swiss, German and Austrian authorities.

Was after all not a bad joice, among a proper European education he learned German, French and ok, Latin, after originally speaking English, only.

As we both parents are not Thai, I would certainly not have given him a Thai education.

[Dutchy2]

Our son arrived in LoS at age of 10, had studied for 5 years in a American school abroad, we entered him into the Swiss school in Minburi.

This school follows Swiss (actually Canton Lucerne) rules. He got his diploma right here in Minburi, albeit issued in Lucerne and is now able to study in Switzerland as well as to enter any university within the EU as the school is recognized by Swiss, German and Austrian authorities.

Was after all not a bad joice, among a proper European education he learned German, French and ok, Latin, after originally speaking English, only.

As we both parents are not Thai, I would certainly not have given him a Thai education.

Hi Axel,

I do hear good things about the RIS Swiss section, I didn't know the diploma was issued in Lucerne. This must be a strong plus for students that want to further their studies in German speaking countries.

Where's your wife from then when I may ask?

Cheers,

Dutchy

[Axel]

Hi Axel,

I do hear good things about the RIS Swiss section, I didn't know the diploma was issued in Lucerne. This must be a strong plus for students that want to further their studies in German speaking countries.

Where's your wife from then when I may ask?

Cheers,

Dutchy

Cheers Dutchy,

the Lucerne Matura-certificate (handed over by the Swiss ambassador to Thailand ) was transferred in Germany into a University-admission certificate

(Reifezeugnis oder Hochschulzulassung oder aehnlich) with a central office in Duesseldorf, in charge for all grades from abroad.

Swiss schools grade from 6 best to 1 worst whereas Germans do it from 1 best to 6 worst. Guess, I made my diploma, figuring out how they calculated.

Seems the university in Darmstadt (near Frankfurt) liked it, and offered now invitation for 6 months at Hong Kong Uni or next year in Shanghai for overseas studies under an exchange program.

Actually, I did like the RIS Swiss section, at the beginning in Soi Ruam Rudee a bit small, but growing all the time. Some good teachers and multilingual, although study language is German. My wife is Japanese, so at home we speak English and Japanese, but son did not understand any German. The school changed this, and he was actually happy to speak German with me (Mother could not understand)