Getting A Thai To Return My Favour!

[Douggie Style]

Have you thought that maybe for some reason she feels she can not vouch for your work, it sounds like you are asking for a reference and she isn't keen, for personal or professional reasons.

Yeah that's always possible...but without sounding like the rabid egotist I am, it was a bit of a dream run at that place so would be unlikely.

[girlx]

i have done many favours for thai people and have never asked anything in return, but have never, ever been thanked for my efforts. is it a loss of "face" simply to say: "thank you" ?

i have done lots of favors for thai people and their reactions range all over the board. some say thank you! (actually, one of them i least expected to was the most grateful). some seem embarassed, some ignore you. i don't really think it's a cultural norm to avoid thanks. i do think it is a cultural norm here to be suspicious of someone who is too friendly or helpful though, and i get that a lot. i do get irritated if i help people a lot and get nothing back at all. it's like when i was a kid and my mom made us kids send my grandmother thank you notes for presents. it just makes the giver happy to know the receiver was happy!

[gburns57au]

A favour is given....not taken.

Was she your employee? If so as her Boss you are expected to do those things to help....as an employee or ex-employee she doesnt feel duty bound to help you. If she is an ex-employee it would seem that in her eyes, the worker/Boss relationship is finished, you had a working relationship not a friendship.

Is she qualified to do what you ask of her?

If she was a co-worker and not an employee....again it seems the working relationship is over and friendship is not on her agenda.

Interesting..yes she was an employee....I think you have probably hit the nail on the head...good answer thanks....altered my perspective for the better

No Wuckers.....

[Tinkelbell]

i have done many favours for thai people and have never asked anything in return, but have never, ever been thanked for my efforts. is it a loss of "face" simply to say: "thank you" ?

i have done lots of favors for thai people and their reactions range all over the board. some say thank you! (actually, one of them i least expected to was the most grateful). some seem embarassed, some ignore you. i don't really think it's a cultural norm to avoid thanks. i do think it is a cultural norm here to be suspicious of someone who is too friendly or helpful though, and i get that a lot. i do get irritated if i help people a lot and get nothing back at all. it's like when i was a kid and my mom made us kids send my grandmother thank you notes for presents. it just makes the giver happy to know the receiver was happy!

Hi 'girlx', totally agree.

I don't understand why the OP met such a rebel person.

I was raised in a household that emphasizes on being grateful to someone who had done a good deed on you, also always been taught to look out for an opportunity to return a favor.

Why Thais put their parents before anythingelse: Because they believe parents give them life. Next in line: Teacher, who gave them knowlege, so they can use that knowledges as a tool to earn a living. Then comes the boss: Whom they consider giving them a job, so they'll be able to take care their families.

Parents, teachers, and bosses are most respected in Thai socity. It's not uncommon for some well-off students (who can afford) to set up the fund to be used to pay medical bills for their teachers who are old and very sick without any financial means.

Thais don't praise ungrateful person highly. They would try to disintergrate themselves from this pitiful soul.

On my annual trip back home, our classmates still brought me to see a teacher (from my secondary school), and our beloved fromer professor, so I could pay respect and a chance to do my good deed in return.

[TAWP]

What happened to....It is better to give than receive....

I would be more than happy to help you gain karma on your path towards enlightenment by being a recipient of a favour from you.

[nick2k]

I had this friend who after not seeing him for like 25 years started asking me for a lot of favors. could you please do this for me? could you please do that for me? being a long time friend, I thought - why not? after maybe 5 favors, I thought to myself, it would be nice to pay a visit to my "long time friend", and stay with him for a few days. so, I asked him if it would be ok to go and stay with him at his place for a few days. ..his reply was - "my wife might not like that. I have to ask her."

shortly after my request, he stopped asking me for favors. and I stopped talking to him. "long time friend".

moral of the story....

if you have someone always asking you for favors, ask one back right away, and see what happens. if you didn't want to give out favors all the time, then, you might get your wish.