Do U Ever Feel U Are Banging Your Head Against The Wall?

[notasmartassknowitallfarag]

I just wonder how difficult is it to have a normal conversation with thai people.If u ever go deeper in your thoughts or discussions you are left with a blank stare or on the internet its usually ...1 i have no idea 2 whatever 3 hehe laugh = i dont know confused? why do most of the girls i know on the net use these exact words..? are they taught in school if farang ask u difficult question say this!

My point is i talk with some thai girls on the net and i really do wonder do have a brain or do they use it?

example..1 girl ..our country is the best (they really know nothing about other countrys in the world, but why would they, THAILAND is the best) we have no war and no cold weather like u.....sorry where in western europe is the war? and do u know the 3 provinces in the south of thailand last i heard that was like a war!

now thats just 1 example i have many more, where it seems these people know nothing about what happens in the rest of the world.

Of course there is many intelligent thai people but there seems to be many who just dont use their brain or only care about thailand.

[meemiathai]

Are the conversations in Thai?

[cooL_guY_corY]

talk to people who have mediocre command of english and are ignorant to euro-history and day to day recent events in Thailand then surely you will have the problems you are describing. I think the Thai education system is a lot less euro-centric then the euro system... just a guess on that one though. It really would be difficult to judge for sure. Just curious when you talk with these people ( girls 100% of the time i assume) that you dont ask questions about time line of events in the 30's and 40's in Siam ? Just cause you seen some movies with nazis and shit in it doesnt mean the Thais have. I am not trying to make you feel bad but please do not express surprise that some semi literate (as a second language) girls you "know" are not listing off nazi dates and places too you. And Thais are nationalistic? f u ck yes, its true. dont be stunned..

[a2396]

You are going to get accused of being a troll. But, you wonder if Thai girls have brains? They are pretty wiley about getting money. Beyond that, finding one with a rational thought process is a big challange. Mostly I think they live for the moment, not into long range planning.

[lannarebirth]

Your desire is the source of your suffering. You suffer from yourself. Hope that helps.

[notasmartassknowitallfarag]

nope not at all..im not boring them with euro history!...farangs like to discuss things and get opinions from each other...for me it seems thai are shy to talk about topics that may make them'lose face' or something like that.I think they just dont want to talk about 'HOT' topics and i get the same answer each time 'i have no idea' its so strange.many times i have had to correct them on what they said, and then they will just say 'whatever' because i have maybe embarrassed them i dont know?

[uptou]

maybe they think that all the deep questions are bs & that males are largely seeking a bit of the other? especially if you havent met,& only had a conversation through the internet.

[markr]

I just wonder how difficult is it to have a normal conversation with thai people.If u ever go deeper in your thoughts or discussions you are left with a blank stare or on the internet its usually ...1 i have no idea 2 whatever 3 hehe laugh = i dont know confused? why do most of the girls i know on the net use these exact words..? are they taught in school if farang ask u difficult question say this!

My point is i talk with some thai girls on the net and i really do wonder do have a brain or do they use it?

example..1 girl ..our country is the best (they really know nothing about other countrys in the world, but why would they, THAILAND is the best) we have no war and no cold weather like u.....sorry where in western europe is the war? and do u know the 3 provinces in the south of thailand last i heard that was like a war!

now thats just 1 example i have many more, where it seems these people know nothing about what happens in the rest of the world.

Of course there is many intelligent thai people but there seems to be many who just dont use their brain or only care about thailand.

Why should they be taught i school about dealing with falangs like you? Is there any point?

Why don't you go and learn Thai, learn a bit about Thailand and they go and have a face to face conversation with a thai person and YOU might actually learn something other than sitting on the net and complaining about them.

Mark

Edited August 2, 2007 by markr

[notasmartassknowitallfarag]

and what makes u such a clever farang.....i was asking a question ..can u reply with out slagging off the poster? yes i have been to thailand many times yes i can speak some thai not to much..........thank u 'mr know it all'

[markr]

I'm certainly not clever, just cant quite understand why you would waste your time trying to communicate with someone that obviously cant understand you, you obviously cant understand them or you wouldn't be here complaing about the fact that they are not educated in talking to foriegners on the internet.

Please indicate where you were 'slagged off' and I will apologise.

mark

[ColPyat]

nope not at all..im not boring them with euro history!...farangs like to discuss things and get opinions from each other...for me it seems thai are shy to talk about topics that may make them'lose face' or something like that.I think they just dont want to talk about 'HOT' topics and i get the same answer each time 'i have no idea' its so strange.many times i have had to correct them on what they said, and then they will just say 'whatever' because i have maybe embarrassed them i dont know?

You are just discussing the wrong topics with the wrong people. I guess the girls you meet on the net are more interested in Beckham and chitter chatter. Similar to their equivalent of the west.

If you want historical or political discussion there are many people here as well you can do that with, a good command of Thai helps though. Nevertheless, big problem here is the education system, and that some elementary topics can be touched only with care by sussing out your conversation partner very carefully before one engages in an open discussion.

[chinthee]

nope not at all..im not boring them with euro history!...farangs like to discuss things and get opinions from each other...for me it seems thai are shy to talk about topics that may make them'lose face' or something like that.I think they just dont want to talk about 'HOT' topics and i get the same answer each time 'i have no idea' its so strange.many times i have had to correct them on what they said, and then they will just say 'whatever' because i have maybe embarrassed them i dont know?

You're not imagining this. I've spent years with educated Thais, both men and women in social, family and business contexts, and less educated Thais. I had as my personal assistant for some years a young Chinese-Thai gal with 5 years Masters education from a good US university, and we traveled together around Asia extensively. We had a chance to become intimate friends (conversationally - I never mix biz/pleasure ). I got to know her mother, father and friends very well too (all are high-so, high position, educated Bangkok families) Similarly, I've been married to Thais as well. Some of these Thais have been educated abroad and speak very good English. My conversational Thai is good.

In virtually all cases, I find Thai women, with almost no exceptions, to be interested only in Thai issues, mostly worthless Thai TV, Thai history, The King and royalty (of course), Buddhism, the weather in Thailand, food, clothing, mobiles, and little else outside Thailand. Honestly. They don't know or care anything about what happens outside the borders of this little country. I've traveled with them, and they never seek out museums or other historic things to do. It's just shopping, eating, and enjoying 5 star hotels.

They don't know or care anything about US, European or foreign history. They care little about global economic issues unless it is comparing Thailand to other places in SE Asia.

This is not limited to bar girls (though honestly I haven't known many).

With businessmen I've known, the story is a little different, in that they often proudly display their knowledge of places they've been or done business, but I'm convinced most of that was to impress me and gain face, rather than interest in the places or events themselves. With government owned company high officials, similarly, it was only about how many perks they could get in any travel situation, enjoy nice dinners, wine, etc.. I've never had a stimulating conversation with any of them.

Don't bother flaming me about this because I really don't give a sh!t whether Thai people are interested in anything non Thai or not. If I want intellectual stimulation, I know where to get it. There are a number of countries I've lived around the world where the natives have a very deep interest in and knowledge of outside events and knowledge, and the implications for their own countries as a result. Thailand and Thais aren't like that and I don't care.

You could consider Thai people very shallow. That is a fair argument. I wouldn't argue with that. But, as I say, I don't care. I live in Thailand because it's easy on the brain. I have enough brain challenges elsewhere.

[donna]

i hear what you are saying. i have had this same conversation with many friends of mine. i am not saying that thai people are stupid at all - god, i live in their country and have many dear friends who are thai- from all ends of the scale. but what i am saying is that it is hard to have an in depth conversation with many people. when you want to talk about deep feelings, about life, to discuss the more serious or heavy subjects that us foreigners can discuss with each other without thinking about it (in most cases).

a dear friend of mine has lived here for about 15 years i guess. he is married to a lovely thai lady and they have two sons. i spent about 6 hours with him a few weeks back and he told me at the end of the day that in all the time he has been married, he has never talked about such a variety of topics with his wife - in the entire time! 12 years or so. its no wonder he talked my ear off!

when it comes to discussing more than the lighter things, you do have to choose who you want to have that conversation with.

having said all of that, if your thai is fluent, of if indeed, their thai is fluent, then you can of course go for it and have a great conversation/debate. the main reason that these girls (who you are referring to) cannot hold a more 'intelligent' conversation is probably due to their lack of english skills and for fear of stuffing it up.

[lannarebirth]

nope not at all..im not boring them with euro history!...farangs like to discuss things and get opinions from each other...for me it seems thai are shy to talk about topics that may make them'lose face' or something like that.I think they just dont want to talk about 'HOT' topics and i get the same answer each time 'i have no idea' its so strange.many times i have had to correct them on what they said, and then they will just say 'whatever' because i have maybe embarrassed them i dont know?

You're not imagining this. I've spent years with educated Thais, both men and women in social, family and business contexts, and less educated Thais. I had as my personal assistant for some years a young Chinese-Thai gal with 5 years Masters education from a good US university, and we traveled together around Asia extensively. We had a chance to become intimate friends (conversationally - I never mix biz/pleasure ). I got to know her mother, father and friends very well too (all are high-so, high position, educated Bangkok families) Similarly, I've been married to Thais as well. Some of these Thais have been educated abroad and speak very good English. My conversational Thai is good.

In virtually all cases, I find Thai women, with almost no exceptions, to be interested only in Thai issues, mostly worthless Thai TV, Thai history, The King and royalty (of course), Buddhism, the weather in Thailand, food, clothing, mobiles, and little else outside Thailand. Honestly. They don't know or care anything about what happens outside the borders of this little country. I've traveled with them, and they never seek out museums or other historic things to do. It's just shopping, eating, and enjoying 5 star hotels.

They don't know or care anything about US, European or foreign history. They care little about global economic issues unless it is comparing Thailand to other places in SE Asia.

This is not limited to bar girls (though honestly I haven't known many).

With businessmen I've known, the story is a little different, in that they often proudly display their knowledge of places they've been or done business, but I'm convinced most of that was to impress me and gain face, rather than interest in the places or events themselves. With government owned company high officials, similarly, it was only about how many perks they could get in any travel situation, enjoy nice dinners, wine, etc.. I've never had a stimulating conversation with any of them.

Don't bother flaming me about this because I really don't give a sh!t whether Thai people are interested in anything non Thai or not. If I want intellectual stimulation, I know where to get it. There are a number of countries I've lived around the world where the natives have a very deep interest in and knowledge of outside events and knowledge, and the implications for their own countries as a result. Thailand and Thais aren't like that and I don't care.

You could consider Thai people very shallow. That is a fair argument. I wouldn't argue with that. But, as I say, I don't care. I live in Thailand because it's easy on the brain. I have enough brain challenges elsewhere.

I would agree with all of that with respect to most Thais. Intellectual curiosity is not their strong suit. That is not to say they do not have many fine other attributes.

[cooL_guY_corY]

On a side note, my friends who are 100% fluent, have been able to engage inreal conversations no problem. Just think how deeper your going into a language when your knowledge of the language is limited ( as in english on the Thai side and Thai on the foreign side) and your straying off everday recurring conversations. i think this is fairly straight forward, for example if iam speaking thai i have my basic rudimentary grasp on the language, which may pass with no worries if its just a very very simple conversation about very simple things... but if someone wants to start talking about something that has depth to it then my language level will quickly be exposed..

Edited August 2, 2007 by cooL_guY_corY

[A_Traveller]

I live in Thailand because it's easy on the brain.

And there we have the most eloquent summary of why many people do live here.

Regards

[ratcatcher]

nope not at all..im not boring them with euro history!...farangs like to discuss things and get opinions from each other...for me it seems thai are shy to talk about topics that may make them'lose face' or something like that.I think they just dont want to talk about 'HOT' topics and i get the same answer each time 'i have no idea' its so strange.many times i have had to correct them on what they said, and then they will just say 'whatever' because i have maybe embarrassed them i dont know?

You're not imagining this. I've spent years with educated Thais, both men and women in social, family and business contexts, and less educated Thais. I had as my personal assistant for some years a young Chinese-Thai gal with 5 years Masters education from a good US university, and we traveled together around Asia extensively. We had a chance to become intimate friends (conversationally - I never mix biz/pleasure ). I got to know her mother, father and friends very well too (all are high-so, high position, educated Bangkok families) Similarly, I've been married to Thais as well. Some of these Thais have been educated abroad and speak very good English. My conversational Thai is good.

In virtually all cases, I find Thai women, with almost no exceptions, to be interested only in Thai issues, mostly worthless Thai TV, Thai history, The King and royalty (of course), Buddhism, the weather in Thailand, food, clothing, mobiles, and little else outside Thailand. Honestly. They don't know or care anything about what happens outside the borders of this little country. I've traveled with them, and they never seek out museums or other historic things to do. It's just shopping, eating, and enjoying 5 star hotels.

They don't know or care anything about US, European or foreign history. They care little about global economic issues unless it is comparing Thailand to other places in SE Asia.

This is not limited to bar girls (though honestly I haven't known many).

With businessmen I've known, the story is a little different, in that they often proudly display their knowledge of places they've been or done business, but I'm convinced most of that was to impress me and gain face, rather than interest in the places or events themselves. With government owned company high officials, similarly, it was only about how many perks they could get in any travel situation, enjoy nice dinners, wine, etc.. I've never had a stimulating conversation with any of them.

Don't bother flaming me about this because I really don't give a sh!t whether Thai people are interested in anything non Thai or not. If I want intellectual stimulation, I know where to get it. There are a number of countries I've lived around the world where the natives have a very deep interest in and knowledge of outside events and knowledge, and the implications for their own countries as a result. Thailand and Thais aren't like that and I don't care.

You could consider Thai people very shallow. That is a fair argument. I wouldn't argue with that. But, as I say, I don't care. I live in Thailand because it's easy on the brain. I have enough brain challenges elsewhere.

I think Chintee has hit the proverbial nail on the head!

Reverse the positions and try having a conversation with your average Briton or American in small town,nowhere and you will basically reach the same conclusions as you did about the Thais.

Most people are only really interested in their immediate lives, mortgages, social lives, families etc.

The average American, Briton or Canadian, say, would be hard pressed to find Thailand on a map and I don't intend any disrespect to any of those nationalities since I am British born and a Canadian citizen.

It's human nature and most people have a limited knowledge of world history and current affairs. Frankly they don't care how many years the King of Thailand has been on the throne or what North Korea or Burma are up to. It's not relevant to them and has zero impact on their lives. They are likely more interested in what Becks and Vicky are doing.

So as Chintee points out, try to keep the conversation on a simple basis that covers shopping, food, fashion, footbon, music and techno toys like mobiles and MP3 etc. Forget discussing the Iran situation or global warming.

[girlx]

hmm... i was thinking about this the other day too. i have a lot of intelligent thai friends- but they are intelligent in sort of a social way. they are brilliant at reading people, making conversation, pick things up quickly, etc. but one thing they are NOT is curious enough to be actually introspective or examine their life or culture beyond what is fed to them from birth. that is definitely from their style of education. also the fact that most of them can't ever go see the world outside of thailand so why bother thinking too much about it! also, it could partly be a language barrier as my thai isn't great.

[villagefarang]

You ask about having a "normal conversation" and expect their "normal" will be the same as your "normal". If you step out of a very small social group into the larger world it will be a life long pursuit to find people that think about things just the way you do.

You might ask why would they want to talk to me and what would they enjoy talking about. Girls are never going to have exactly the same take on things that guys do. That might be why guys have guy friends to talk to about guy stuff.

Edited August 2, 2007 by villagefarang

[Richb2004v2]

I don’t think that internet chat room interactions are the best place to make judgments. My experience of that kind of thing has led me to believe that nobody has much to say in those places.

However, my experience of attempting conversation with Thais is not great. I regularly have a get together at my house with Thai friends. I don’t speak enough Thai to converse, but they all speak very good English. I used to try to open discussions on current topics, both Thai and international. During the Thaksin time I asked their opinion on him, I broached the subject of the southern troubles, I have tried the Middle East problem, discussing Thai roads and various other things. In each case all I got was a momentary pause and then move on to a different subject. I normally get the feeling I am talking about a taboo subject, although of course I’m not. I no longer attempt conversations like this.

Actually, there are plenty of folk in my home country that would probably react the same way.

[Cobalt60]

I get the usual rebuke if I stray too far from the weather etc....."You think too much" now what can you say to that ?

[meemiathai]

nope not at all..im not boring them with euro history!...farangs like to discuss things and get opinions from each other...for me it seems thai are shy to talk about topics that may make them'lose face' or something like that.I think they just dont want to talk about 'HOT' topics and i get the same answer each time 'i have no idea' its so strange.many times i have had to correct them on what they said, and then they will just say 'whatever' because i have maybe embarrassed them i dont know?

I ask again if the conversations are in thai or english.

[Richb2004v2]

I get the usual rebuke if I stray too far from the weather etc....."You think too much" now what can you say to that ?

I get a lot from my wife, and a lot at work in North Africa.

I had a Philipino tell me recently ‘your problem is you read too many books!’

[notasmartassknowitallfarag]

english.....but these people have very good grasp of the english language..its not like they dont understand what is being said..its like they just dont want to discuss it..full stop!

[duratanium]

Maybe also that the girls/women you are talking to have limited English language skills.

Many Thais off the internet, never mind on it, have little or no English language skills. A lot of those on the internet are getting help to read and write from friends or from some book that is filled with love quotes or simple sentences so they can communicate with you.

So I would not expect a decent 'in depth' conversation at all.

Added to that, how much does the average Farang know about Asia? I remember being taught about Clive of India etc. at school but most of what I know about asia can be written on a matchbox, so I could not hold an in depth conversation with them about Thailand and Thai history in the same way I would not expect them to talk about European history. Most Thais could not find USA or U.K or Australia on a world map so why would they have great knowledge of such places?

The most 'out of the area' talk I hear is mainly about the bombings in the South or in BKK, the rest is family or very local issues.

So I think you are asking too much from them.

[chinthee]

Ok, I have a simple question for all of you who have a Thai partner at home. Go look around the house and tell me how many books (in Thai) you find. Then, eliminate all the ones that are about the King or Royal Family or Buddhism.

How many are left? I thought so... This has nothing to do with higher education. I know lots of people from many countries who are inquisitive and love to read and learn more who never went to a day of college. This is a cultural thing.

Edited August 2, 2007 by chinthee

[villagefarang]

english.....but these people have very good grasp of the english language..its not like they dont understand what is being said..its like they just dont want to discuss it..full stop!

I think you are answering your own question. Just move on if it is such a big deal for you. It is your job to find people you like not to "make them" that way. Sounds like you enjoy correcting them and putting them down as a result. Just talk to somebody else.

[gburns57au]

Once upon a time in a Kingdom far away, Internet access was restricted to those areas where visitors from strange lands congregated or areas where people of noble or high birth resided, many of these people were educated and knew many things about the world.

But now the internet is available all over the Kingdom and people with a lesser education use them.

Thai schools on a whole do not teach much history outside of Thailand...Certainly they see and hear about current affairs from all over the world now. The education level certainly has bearing...I have been involved with Uni educated High So types who are very knowledgable on world affairs and world history. Your average Thai in the street wont be so well informed or so well versed in English.

But I think it is a bit much of you to expect anyone from a non english speaking background to be as conversant as you in regards to world affairs etc...I could imagine that if you had a conversation with Stephen Hawkings that your expression on occasion would be a blank as the expressions you talk about here....everything in context.

[meemiathai]

english.....but these people have very good grasp of the english language..its not like they dont understand what is being said..its like they just dont want to discuss it..full stop!

Not sure how good their english is. But I often find it difficult to express things in english. So I do find a lot of members here misunderstanding me. To understand what people are saying is easier than to make people understand what you are saying in another language.

But I do agree that the average thais (at least the ones I've met so far) are a different type than the farangs. And you just have to look for somewhere else if you are looking for what you've mentioned.

[lannarebirth]

Ok, I have a simple question for all of you who have a Thai partner at home. Go look around the house and tell me how many books (in Thai) you find. Then, eliminate all the ones that are about the King or Royal Family or Buddhism.

How many are left? I thought so... This has nothing to do with higher education. I know lots of people from many countries who are inquisitive and love to read and learn more who never went to a day of college. This is a cultural thing.

That was a pretty easy assignment. About About 10 non fiction, 30 Thai biographys, about 25 Thai novels, about 30 books about agriculture and horticulture things, another 20 Buddhism books. About 150 more in English about travel and art, with a few poetry volumes mixed in.