2 Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

On a recent transpacific flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.

The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing

Is

struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front

Of

the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells, "Well,

if I'm

Going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable!

Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril.

They all stared, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the

plane.

Then an Aussie bloke stands up in the rear of the plane. He is

gorgeous:

tall, well built, with sun-bleached blond hair and blue eyes.

He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt

...........one

button at a time.

No one moves.

Everyone is transfixed.

He removes his shirt.

Muscles ripple across his chest.

She gasps......

He whispers.....

Here ya go luv - iron this and then go get me a beer...."

Happy and Sad

A husband and wife were sharing a very romantic interlude by candle light, with a superb bottle of wine,

a beautiful meal and romantic music, when the wife said, I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at

the same time." The husband thought for a few moments, and then said, "You're a better root than your sister ."