Are Farangs Who Marriages Failed Lucky?

[ColPyat]

This thread reminds me of my neighbor in Southern Louisiana in the States wandering over to vent his anger about the local hospital.

Ah, yes, the old "attack is the best defense" pattern...

Rather funny how you put paint me into a racism corner, and an evangelical corner as well, just because i pointed out the difficulties between partners of lopsided relationships. Sorry, mate, but your fervent defense against no attack other than pointing out generally for you uncomfortable realities does not mean that i have attacked you. But it does raise some questions. Would just others see us as we see ourselves...

Maybe, before hinting at racism you should read some studies correlating racism and a particular sort of cross cultural relationships between westerners and people of undeveloped countries. There are some uncomfortable truths in those.

And as to evangelism - well, read your posts again please. You refuse to even acknowledge in a general way, not to speak of a personal way, that there are difficulties existing in such relationships. So sorry, who is preaching here?

But isn't it lovely here in Thailand - we can always choose to ignore facing ourselves, and criticism. They are all "bigots", "prissy", "racist", "intolerant", and whatever else we might label the distractors of our indulgent paradise, and we can be sure to find more than enough like minded company.

[ColPyat]

Let's make it simple. Could people here answer the question.

A 60 year old farang and a 20 year old thai girl gets married, both happy with that for whatever reason:

1)Will you people look down on the man? 2)Is it going to be a problem with you?

Yes, and if my dog could fly it would be a bird.

Some things just are not simple, even if we would wish them to be so.

[meemiathai]

can someone tell me the big difference between a 18 year old and 25 year old village girl? if a 27 year old girl can love a 60 year old man, why cant a 17 year old? your logic seems off here. either it is impossible for both of them to love him, or neither of them.

See? It proves what I said. No one dares to state the age difference! Coz once they say it they will show at once their stupidity and their illogicality. It will become obvious and they know it but still want to argue just because they feel it is wrong.

I bet RB is going to disappear from now on.

When the age difference in a marital partnership approaches one generational difference (generally assumed as 20 - 25 years) then things turn a bit strange, when though there is an approximate two generation gap - it is just gross.

Citing "Love" is a bit of a simplification, considering that your side of the debate consistently refuses to address important contributing issues in the socio-economic and cultural field, lack of communication, etc.

These large amount of lopsided relationships between westerners and Thais are possible here not because a completely different capacity for "love" by the women - but because it is not a level playing field, and what would be anomalies in similar socio economical conditions (both in the west and here), are possible because of an extremely uneven playing field.

Also in Thailand it is an exception that between Thais of a similar socio-economical group form relationships, other than the ones based on materialistic reasons such as many Mia Noi/Mia Chao relationships, when there is a huge age difference. Why do you guys think that just because one partner is western/foreign - Thai women are so attracted to them even though there often is very little communication possible.

Are you so in denial that you can't see the obvious?

It is either 20 or it is 25, CP, please? You won't tell me 16-20 if I ask what age is adult, would you?

So why aren't there any laws prohibiting it?

Are people here saying all marriages are based on love? All? That simple? If not, what do we do? Go up to someone and tell him, hey! you ugly man! Did you use your money to get your wife? Was that because you had power? Was it a fair game? How can this world be 100% fair? Think of what you are wearing, it might be made in a factory where workers work 15 hrs a day for 200baht, how long does it take you to work for it? Look at the food you eat! How much money do you think farmers make? Fair? Are you taking advantage? You can live with it?

Just because indeed there are people taking advantage of the system(we all know and are not in denial) that EVERY case that a man a lot older than his partner becomes unacceptable? Even the woman genuinely is quite happy with her situation?(Of course she must think it would be even better if the man looked like Tom Cruise!)

Thai women are so attracted to them even though there often is very little communication possible.

Me and my wife lack communication. Is it any of your business?

Why not just admit this is about age? It is age discrimination? Save us some time so we don't have to argue?

It is about age, right? Not power!

There are so many things people feel strongly about that they can't affect. Your point about sweatshop shoe manufacturers is a good one. If you took on a scale from things happening on the other side of the planet and things happening in your own relationship its obvious which issues you can directly affect and those that you can't. If you are oppressing a young woman from a poorer background, perhaps with little formal education who supports her family and lives on the razors edge of oblivion in the absence of a health service then shame on you and shame on all the other men who act out their control fantasies literally on the back of an exploited woman. If repeat if...........you have so much faith in the sanctity of your bonds then transfer all your money into your wifes name. After all in a real partnership based on trust would it matter whose name it was in? What it would do would show absolute faith. How many of the great lovers have done it? How many would dare to do it?

The answer is none........... because its a relationship built on the shifting sand of exploitation and love for money, all the carefully manicured topiary of equals and respect and meeting of minds would come tumbling down.

And before we hear how X or Y has built a house in back-of-beyond and his wife owns it lets not forget

a These same men will tell you how little it cost them

b They have to put it in wifes name

c like a charming poster earlier regarding children "I would rather burn them and the house to the ground than pay any maintainance"

If the above is a representative sample GOD help you and the company you keep in defending the right of abusers and exploiters to abuse and exploit.

Good! I was about to post something sarcastic but seeing you have refrained from posting little offensive poems, I will try to be polite.

I am fully aware of the exploitation of these women. And I'm sure anyone famaliar with me here knows that as much a thai apologist as I am, I have always defended them. I have always contempt for those who looked down on these women in TV.

But that doesn't mean we should tar everything black. Old people have desire too. They are no different people from us. If an old man is willing to treat a young woman nicely and the young woman accepts it, who are we to judge.

I do agree with you with your post that I now have quoted. If they have that attitude, I too don't like it.

You said the answer is "no". I disagree. You cannot answer for them. There could be 1 in a million of these relationships that are happy, and that is good enough for us not to judge any similar cases without even knowing them.

And for me, I would not trade my wife for 1 billion dollars so I can tell you all my money and all I have in this world my wife can have it.

Thanks.

Being overly judgemental is also a cause of suffering. And is as bad.

[Dustoff]

This thread reminds me of my neighbor in Southern Louisiana in the States wandering over to vent his anger about the local hospital.

Ah, yes, the old "attack is the best defense" pattern...

Rather funny how you put paint me into a racism corner, and an evangelical corner as well, just because i pointed out the difficulties between partners of lopsided relationships. Sorry, mate, but your fervent defense against no attack other than pointing out generally for you uncomfortable realities does not mean that i have attacked you. But it does raise some questions. Would just others see us as we see ourselves...

Maybe, before hinting at racism you should read some studies correlating racism and a particular sort of cross cultural relationships between westerners and people of undeveloped countries. There are some uncomfortable truths in those.

And as to evangelism - well, read your posts again please. You refuse to even acknowledge in a general way, not to speak of a personal way, that there are difficulties existing in such relationships. So sorry, who is preaching here?

But isn't it lovely here in Thailand - we can always choose to ignore facing ourselves, and criticism. They are all "bigots", "prissy", "racist", "intolerant", and whatever else we might label the distractors of our indulgent paradise, and we can be sure to find more than enough like minded company.

This is actually funny since I did not have you in mind nor direct my post at you.

But, what the hey, if you wish to include yourself in the "they" I mentioned and vehemently defend yourself, up2u.

[meemiathai]

Edited for: oh, why bother.

You should be more charitable to those less fortunate than yourself. Ok so you have brains, youth and charm but do you have that dogged determination that your opponents display? Like the brain dead zombies surrounding your cabin in the woods they keep shambling forward mumbling their war cry "You are jealous, you lust after my seed, I am the love God and gift to all the young women, Come come my lovely and sample my de-dentured delights..................You haven't known the heights of passion until you subside beneath the soft duvet of my belly and let me blow sweet, sweet beery fumes in your ear while you stoke my long, lank grey pubes into delicious kiss curls".

Just think what you are losing CG, your cut and their bludgeon of debate, your sharp thrust of wit and their dull thrumming until they repeat what they said before and before and before, again and again. Why, some of their words have been over two syllables, and involved sentences over six words. Of course you should be more tolerant. If not actually so old as to have had alzheimers and come through the other side they are certainly way, way beyond the first flush of youth. Most can only get out of bed with the aid of their young partner and a set of jump leads.

Because, like the goldfish, they have an incredibly short attention span the same arguments will be put over and over again. Bear in mind these men would be proud to bring home an octogenarian for their school girl daughter to woo and wed, wouldn't that just be in the fine tradition that Daddy started? Such men are the living dregs of society, washed up on the foreign shore of the blighted and benighted country that offers them the most whores in the shortest time with the least committment. Men who are the invisible grease that lubricates the wheels and cogs of commerce turn into kings full of munificence in their new-found paradise and for a few hours can live the life of a thai drunkard with a few baht in his hand. They are to be pitied. Full of platitudes, of untrue truisms and aphorisms they seek out their kind, that queasy oiliness that marks them out, rolling in the same waterhole and like the common unthinking beasts of the field, wallowing down for days on end, pausing only to soil some greasy bed with another despoiled and abused girl.

Or maybe I'm being uncharitable. Perhaps they are here on a mission to rescue the poor. To save the girls from themselves. I am sure they would say that, if they were capable of stringing the few words together

Have you been raped by an old man?

Why so much anger?

Its obvious I have never been raped by an older man. If I had succumbed to one of these self acclaimed "Lurve Gods" who could ever return to a bland diet of heterosexuality with women my own age. God forbid.

I think the reason this thread had run and run is because it touches a sore point. Whatever the supposed status of the relationship with a younger woman there's always a degree of self conciousness. There has to be because the couple are the subject of scrutiny and curiosity wherever they go. Rightly so. Its an anomaly that you dont see much outside of countries with poor young women. Every single man is determined to prove that he and his wife/[partner are the exception to the rule. Yet each falang knows, by the simple law of averages that out of any group of six drinking mates four have relationships that are a sham. The girl is going through the motions. A large study of Finns married to younger Thai women found that the men found the women far from sexy and less so than Finnish counterparts. They put it down to Bhuddism. As Mandy Rice Davis said "Well they would wouldn't they" Its easier than facing the truth. Young women dont like screwing old bodies in various stages of decay.

Thats why there is such fierce debate becasue no one is prepared to look at their own situation and acknwoledge the dynamics of the bulk of relationship between old and young. Its not a coincidence is it that the men have money and the women beauty?

Is it a concidence that the girls usually have little education?

Give me some examples of rich young Thai women marrying poor old men and I'll buy the meeting of minds scenario....because don't forget if it exists as a phenomenon then it has to exist outside the lopsided arrangement the average falang makes.

The truth of the matter is no such examples exist. The falangs who preach that they have found love with a woman light years younger with a different culture and a different education and life experience are deluding themselves. They have bought companionship. And in a few too short years the love......what little existed will turn to care and then they will die and the whole sorry episode will be laid to rest and the survivor will pick up the piecces of her life, hopefully with some money and marry for love.

Thats the reason the antis dont like it; its real and its honest and it describes their relationships accurately.

My view is that if you have to be a serial abuser and ensnare some young woman to be your handmaiden/carer then at least you owe her a duty of care.......and that duty implies some realism and none of the pretence of a romantic liaison. That particular self delusion is only a prop to enable the man to move onto another victim when he can no longer pretend that she loves him.

I must say that your posts are good. And posts like this is even better.(without those insults, still good though)

Though I think this post only apply to those who really treat their women with no respect. Not to those who genuinely have feelings for their young wives. If they are genuine, they are merely putting out an offer. Nothing wrong about that.

[Naam]

Young women dont like screwing old bodies in various stages of decay.

i guess that must be the reason why my wife nowadays hesitantly has sex with me. she's quite a young girl of only 57 and i'm an old man of 63 in the last stage of decay.

[WaiWai]

Meemiathai, if you were a young man whose family was not wealthy, in a country without social security and in which you, the son, were expected to support the older ( and other ) members of the family, and an older man/woman "made an offer", do you think it would or would not be "an offer you & your family couldn't refuse ?

How would you feel about your side of the deal ?

[meemiathai]

Let's make it simple. Could people here answer the question.

A 60 year old farang and a 20 year old thai girl gets married, both happy with that for whatever reason:

1)Will you people look down on the man? 2)Is it going to be a problem with you?

Yes, and if my dog could fly it would be a bird.

Some things just are not simple, even if we would wish them to be so.

Well what can I say? Who is in denial? What if an 18 yr old girl walk up to you and say I love my 60 yr old farang husband?

[meemiathai]

Meemiathai, if you were a young man whose family was not wealthy, in a country without social security and in which you, the son, were expected to support the older ( and other ) members of the family, and an older man/woman "made an offer", do you think it would or would not be "an offer you & your family couldn't refuse ?

How would you feel about your side of the deal ?

I will face reality.

And if an old farang woman is nice enough, I can fall in love. I swear.

[lannarebirth]

Let's make it simple. Could people here answer the question.

A 60 year old farang and a 20 year old thai girl gets married, both happy with that for whatever reason:

1)Will you people look down on the man? 2)Is it going to be a problem with you?

Yes, and if my dog could fly it would be a bird.

Some things just are not simple, even if we would wish them to be so.

I read your posts with interest in every thread in which they appear. What is common in all of them, is that every single issue you comment upon is , in your estimation "complex", and only you, with your deep insight into the issue at hand, have an opinion worthy of consideration. Please stop being so condescending.

[WaiWai]

Meemiathai, if you were a young man whose family was not wealthy, in a country without social security and in which you, the son, were expected to support the older ( and other ) members of the family, and an older man/woman "made an offer", do you think it would or would not be "an offer you & your family couldn't refuse ?

How would you feel about your side of the deal ?

I will face reality.

Noble , but not really very much about love, is it ?

[Naam]

Its not freewill to be between a rock and a hard place

yeah right! what about the other millions of young girls who opt to exercise their free will?

[bangkoksingapore]

Its not freewill to be between a rock and a hard place

yeah right! what about the other millions of young girls who opt to exercise their free will?

of course its freewill. they could marry an 18 year old or they can marry a rich 60 year old guy who knows his way around a women's body much better than a young man.

[ratchabuild]

well said dustoff. like i said in the first post, people are mostly jealous. they might be in love with a women their own age, but they are still bitter and jealous that youve got a younger women than them. that is why you will always see men feeling more strongly about this issue than women. it is out of jealousy.

If Bangkokinsingapore didn't exist we would have to invent him. May I humbly suggest this guy is a national treasure, I can honestly say reading him has given me more laughs than anyone else. I now understand too, that he is winding us all up...the point about Dustoff is priceless, given Dustoffs advanced age I can't see how most of us could emulate the age differenc even if we tried. Yes bangkokin sinagapore its all about jealousy. How astute of you. How did you know we all want to be Dustoff or you? Once again, my hats off to the master. Honour him while you can readers, it can't be easy creating such a boneheaded one dimensional character. He's a comic genius.

[ratchabuild]

can someone tell me the big difference between a 18 year old and 25 year old village girl? if a 27 year old girl can love a 60 year old man, why cant a 17 year old? your logic seems off here. either it is impossible for both of them to love him, or neither of them.

See? It proves what I said. No one dares to state the age difference! Coz once they say it they will show at once their stupidity and their illogicality. It will become obvious and they know it but still want to argue just because they feel it is wrong.

I bet RB is going to disappear from now on.

When the age difference in a marital partnership approaches one generational difference (generally assumed as 20 - 25 years) then things turn a bit strange, when though there is an approximate two generation gap - it is just gross.

Citing "Love" is a bit of a simplification, considering that your side of the debate consistently refuses to address important contributing issues in the socio-economic and cultural field, lack of communication, etc.

These large amount of lopsided relationships between westerners and Thais are possible here not because a completely different capacity for "love" by the women - but because it is not a level playing field, and what would be anomalies in similar socio economical conditions (both in the west and here), are possible because of an extremely uneven playing field.

Also in Thailand it is an exception that between Thais of a similar socio-economical group form relationships, other than the ones based on materialistic reasons such as many Mia Noi/Mia Chao relationships, when there is a huge age difference. Why do you guys think that just because one partner is western/foreign - Thai women are so attracted to them even though there often is very little communication possible.

Are you so in denial that you can't see the obvious?

It is either 20 or it is 25, CP, please? You won't tell me 16-20 if I ask what age is adult, would you?

So why aren't there any laws prohibiting it?

Are people here saying all marriages are based on love? All? That simple? If not, what do we do? Go up to someone and tell him, hey! you ugly man! Did you use your money to get your wife? Was that because you had power? Was it a fair game? How can this world be 100% fair? Think of what you are wearing, it might be made in a factory where workers work 15 hrs a day for 200baht, how long does it take you to work for it? Look at the food you eat! How much money do you think farmers make? Fair? Are you taking advantage? You can live with it?

Just because indeed there are people taking advantage of the system(we all know and are not in denial) that EVERY case that a man a lot older than his partner becomes unacceptable? Even the woman genuinely is quite happy with her situation?(Of course she must think it would be even better if the man looked like Tom Cruise!)

Thai women are so attracted to them even though there often is very little communication possible.

Me and my wife lack communication. Is it any of your business?

Why not just admit this is about age? It is age discrimination? Save us some time so we don't have to argue?

It is about age, right? Not power!

There are so many things people feel strongly about that they can't affect. Your point about sweatshop shoe manufacturers is a good one. If you took on a scale from things happening on the other side of the planet and things happening in your own relationship its obvious which issues you can directly affect and those that you can't. If you are oppressing a young woman from a poorer background, perhaps with little formal education who supports her family and lives on the razors edge of oblivion in the absence of a health service then shame on you and shame on all the other men who act out their control fantasies literally on the back of an exploited woman. If repeat if...........you have so much faith in the sanctity of your bonds then transfer all your money into your wifes name. After all in a real partnership based on trust would it matter whose name it was in? What it would do would show absolute faith. How many of the great lovers have done it? How many would dare to do it?

The answer is none........... because its a relationship built on the shifting sand of exploitation and love for money, all the carefully manicured topiary of equals and respect and meeting of minds would come tumbling down.

And before we hear how X or Y has built a house in back-of-beyond and his wife owns it lets not forget

a These same men will tell you how little it cost them

b They have to put it in wifes name

c like a charming poster earlier regarding children "I would rather burn them and the house to the ground than pay any maintainance"

If the above is a representative sample GOD help you and the company you keep in defending the right of abusers and exploiters to abuse and exploit.

Good! I was about to post something sarcastic but seeing you have refrained from posting little offensive poems, I will try to be polite.

I am fully aware of the exploitation of these women. And I'm sure anyone famaliar with me here knows that as much a thai apologist as I am, I have always defended them. I have always contempt for those who looked down on these women in TV.

But that doesn't mean we should tar everything black. Old people have desire too. They are no different people from us. If an old man is willing to treat a young woman nicely and the young woman accepts it, who are we to judge.

I do agree with you with your post that I now have quoted. If they have that attitude, I too don't like it.

You said the answer is "no". I disagree. You cannot answer for them. There could be 1 in a million of these relationships that are happy, and that is good enough for us not to judge any similar cases without even knowing them.

And for me, I would not trade my wife for 1 billion dollars so I can tell you all my money and all I have in this world my wife can have it.

Thanks.

Being overly judgemental is also a cause of suffering. And is as bad.

Nice and well judged argument pity about the company you keep, Dustoff et al, but your relationship is obviously your business and thanks for sharing some elements of it with us.

[ratchabuild]

Its not freewill to be between a rock and a hard place

yeah right! what about the other millions of young girls who opt to exercise their free will?

of course its freewill. they could marry an 18 year old or they can marry a rich 60 year old guy who knows his way around a women's body much better than a young man.

My concern Bkkinsinga is that some of the falangs may be so old that they have forgotton what they learned about womens bodies. Or indeed why they took the trouble to learn it in the first case. Of course we all know that your obvious mastery of the art of seduction was learned only through many strenuous and deeply personal probes into the bar girls, lives and situation.

[bangkoksingapore]

as many of you know, i studied evolutionary biology for over ten years at the university level.

genes are passed onto each generation. in many culture and society, it is the old men who have the most women and wifes and who deflower the most women. the young men work and are one day in this position. however, most men were forced to be celibate and never touched a women. the old men took all of the young girls at 10 years old and wouldn't let anyone touch them.

it is in women's genes to thus crave these older men. at a subconscious level, women are more sexually aroused by a 60 year old man than a 20 year old man, however, it is the work of fashion, advertising, and the last fifty years which has attempted to change this - of course, these genes have never changed.

[buffcoat]

Well the level of vitriol has certainly increased and the possibility of reasoned discussion has faded away since too many posters on here are certain that their own views are absolutely correct and apply to everyone without exception in all situations.

Reminds me of the late 70's when the feminist movement was aggresively attacking existing institutions such as marriage.

One of their memorable posters was a picture of a model bride and groom on a wedding cake under the slogan...The union of a Wage slave and a Sex slave (neatly putting the boot into capitalism as well).

These were the same people who proclaimed that all penetrative sex between males and females was rape, as women on a global basis were forced into sexual relations with men through financial or social pressures....sorry ladies but you are just fooling yourselves if you think you made a real choice to get into bed with that man/rapist.

Any attempt to talk to them about their views was met with the same,I am right and you are wrong response,which was justified in essence by...I am right because I say I am.

Personally I feel that there is no point discussing anything with individuals who adopt this absolute position whatever the subject they get excited about,it just gives them an exscuse to make a lot of noise and demonstrate that a closed mind and ignorance are constant companions.

[bangkoksingapore]

allow me fine sirs to make another point:

500 women in a university of maryland study were hypnotized and they were then shown photos of men and told to give them a sexual attraction rating of 1-10. The male with the highest score was 87 years old. The second highest score was 83 years old. The two male models with big muscles scored 3's. The reason again comes down to the genetic make up of women and their evolutionary history.

[ColPyat]

I read your posts with interest in every thread in which they appear. What is common in all of them, is that every single issue you comment upon is , in your estimation "complex", and only you, with your deep insight into the issue at hand, have an opinion worthy of consideration. Please stop being so condescending.

Oh, thank you very much. In future i will try to dumb myself down so i can fit in better with the vocal majority.

But it appears that there are posters who do understand the complexities of the issues much better than me even. I do admire the more than formidable literary skills of ratchabild, and Kat's logic powers are absolutely brilliant - on no issue i would like to cross swords with her, unless i am sure that my research is up to scrutiny.

[ratchabuild]

as many of you know, i studied evolutionary biology for over ten years at the university level.

genes are passed onto each generation. in many culture and society, it is the old men who have the most women and wifes and who deflower the most women. the young men work and are one day in this position. however, most men were forced to be celibate and never touched a women. the old men took all of the young girls at 10 years old and wouldn't let anyone touch them.

it is in women's genes to thus crave these older men. at a subconscious level, women are more sexually aroused by a 60 year old man than a 20 year old man, however, it is the work of fashion, advertising, and the last fifty years which has attempted to change this - of course, these genes have never changed.

Congrats on your studies, you must have been very relieved when they finally graduated you. How is the old Creationist University of Alabama? You are of course right about young girls subconciously craving the sex and seed of ancient men and I wish you all success in your attempt to use that as a defence at your upcoming trial. Once again you have brought enlightenment where non existed before and for that I salute you. Not since the hey day of Goebbels have so many indisputable facts been laid before an eager audience with such relish. Why if I close my eyes I can almost see you up close as I imagine you, dripping your seed in the shadow of your huge, aged belly on some love struck virgin 17 year old. You pause and breathe heavily, the zimmer frame gives a last shudder and you are upon her with all the grace of a water balloon. My God what a man you are sir! I can see why all the young ladies clamour for you. Of course when a girl rejects you and turns away from you as she would any old man, how wily of you to read not her conscious mind but her subconcious one. Why I have noticed the same thing many times. Either that or they have revealed themselves as Lesbians upon my approach. We are birds of a feather sir!.....I look forward to many despoilings and blood lettings in future, why we must do all we can as to liberate and set free the poor tortured girls subconcious minds. Its obvious to me now that both Kat and Cg are fighting the strong urge to clutch you to their breast and make mad passionate seed-hungry love to you.

[Naam]

My concern Bkkinsinga is that some of the falangs may be so old that they have forgotton what they learned about womens bodies.

that is YOUR concern?

[ColPyat]

Young women dont like screwing old bodies in various stages of decay.

i guess that must be the reason why my wife nowadays hesitantly has sex with me. she's quite a young girl of only 57 and i'm an old man of 63 in the last stage of decay.

Well, according to the OP - you must feel incredibly unlucky that your marriage did not fail, and you must feel like a loser here, because you don't have a girlie in tow that could be your grand daughter. I reckon the fact that you can have a conversation with your wife must be of little comfort to you.

[mikethevigoman]

Young women dont like screwing old bodies in various stages of decay.

i guess that must be the reason why my wife nowadays hesitantly has sex with me. she's quite a young girl of only 57 and i'm an old man of 63 in the last stage of decay.

According to some you are reaching your prime ! how will you handle this new physicial attraction to the young ladies ?

[ratchabuild]

My concern Bkkinsinga is that some of the falangs may be so old that they have forgotton what they learned about womens bodies.

that is YOUR concern?

Just trying to arrange a social program for the oldies.

Dustoff could lead the prayer service for an end to racism while bangokosingapore lines up the hypnotised seed hungry lovelies for a little post afternoon nap orienteering?

Sound good Doctor Naam? Could you be tempted?

[buffcoat]

OK here I am again,I have dug up some stats for you all to look at if you wish.

Dr. Maire Bhrolchain of the University of Southampton produced the following statistical analysis from the Govt. records of England and Wales up to the year 2001.

The Age Difference at Marriage in England and Wales:A Century of Patterns and Trends.You should be able to find it by searching the net and from www.statistics.gov.uk

It makes interesting (humour) reading but what is significance to this discussion is that of the 250,000 marriages in England in 2001 4%=10,000 involved men who were 15 years (or more) older than their wives.

In 1981 it was 3%,in 1991 it was 3%.As these figure are rounded it is likely the apparent increase in % from 3 to 4 is misleading but it does demonstrate a measurable continuing situation where thousands of such marriages occur every year.

Since the original OP was talking about re-marriage then the relevant figure is that 11% of remarrying men were 15 years (or more) older than their wives (can't find the number of remarriages quickly so no absolute number).

What does this prove?

This analysis only refers to those actually married, it excludes all civil partners,live in boy/girlfriends,long term relationships etc.I hesitate to guess how many more relationships this would add.

Age gap marriages of 15+ years are not uncommon (I would extrapolate at least 100,000 existing marriages in England & Wales of this type after stripping out a portion for divorce and Death).

The report makes some interesting references to the biological and socialogical factors involved.

England & Wales is in the top ten richest countries of the world so the arguement regarding impoverished younger women from the farm being abused by rich older men really looks paper thin (to me) in this context.

Age mismatch marriages are clearly not something special to Thailand.

[ColPyat]

It makes interesting (humour) reading but what is significance to this discussion is that of the 250,000 marriages in England in 2001 4%=10,000 involved men who were 15 years (or more) older than their wives.

In 1981 it was 3%,in 1991 it was 3%.As these figure are rounded it is likely the apparent increase in % from 3 to 4 is misleading but it does demonstrate a measurable continuing situation where thousands of such marriages occur every year.

Since the original OP was talking about re-marriage then the relevant figure is that 11% of remarrying men were 15 years (or more) older than their wives (can't find the number of remarriages quickly so no absolute number).

What does this prove?

As you stated it - it proves nothing other that it is a statistical minority.

And - does that statistic show ethnicy/nationality of the younger partner? How many of those 3% to 4% (11% of remarriages) are between English men and women from underdeveloped countries?

[tracer5050]

Like I said it the two peoples bussiness. IF they both are happy and take care of each other . I would bet the older man or the younger woman dont care what anybody else thinks. I know I dont

[lannarebirth]

I read your posts with interest in every thread in which they appear. What is common in all of them, is that every single issue you comment upon is , in your estimation "complex", and only you, with your deep insight into the issue at hand, have an opinion worthy of consideration. Please stop being so condescending.

Oh, thank you very much. In future i will try to dumb myself down so i can fit in better with the vocal majority.

But it appears that there are posters who do understand the complexities of the issues much better than me even. I do admire the more than formidable literary skills of ratchabild, and Kat's logic powers are absolutely brilliant - on no issue i would like to cross swords with her, unless i am sure that my research is up to scrutiny.

No need to dumb it down, as that wasn't my point. My point is that it was drivel, and to disguise that fact, when you counter others arguments, you say things like "i's not that simple". "it's complex", etc. It's OK to say you don't have any idea. That I could respect. BTW, you keep responding to trolls on this topic. there are at least two here, one on each side of this issue. They don't care how foolish they look, but they really get a kick out of making others look foolish too.

[ColPyat]

No need to dumb it down, as that wasn't my point. My point is that it was drivel, and to disguise that fact, when you counter others arguments, you say things like "i's not that simple". "it's complex", etc. It's OK to say you don't have any idea. That I could respect. BTW, you keep responding to trolls on this topic. there are at least two here, one on each side of this issue. They don't care how foolish they look, but they really get a kick out of making others look foolish too.

Sometimes i simply cannot bother to state the obvious again, after i have several times tried to get my adversaries to respond to points i (and others) have raised. So - i just call it complex.

As to "trolls" - whatever, and up to them. Even if the whole thread was started by one that may fall under that definition - some interesting views have nevertheless came out. Yet, the last few pages have been a bit of a waste of time and space.