[Opinion. I myself wonder what might have been had I not decamped to Thailand. I was married to both at once, one there, one here. The mother of my children and I are still in touch almost daily. I think it will be hard on the other when the first of us dies.]

Why Men Never Stop Thinking About ‘The One That Got Away’, According to Psychology

There’s a hard truth a lot of us need to learn.

Ashley Fike

Vice: 4 Jul 2026

According to UC Berkeley social psychology researcher Maria Luciani, studies show men are more likely than women to regret romantic “missed opportunities,” while women are more likely to regret relationships that actually happened. That’s a telling difference. For many men, the ghost of a relationship that never fully materialized sticks around longer than one that ran its course.

A handful of men often they think about the one that got away, and the answers ranged from uncomfortable to striking. Ciaran, 37, has been married for 18 years and describes his marriage as happy—and still thinks about an ex almost daily, 21 years on.

Nostalgia, unlike rumination or counterfactual thinking, tends to pull people toward positive memories rather than bitterness—which is part of why it’s so easy to revisit. The brain isn’t replaying what actually happened. It’s replaying a curated version of it.

Not every story is about timing or circumstance. Ahaan, 23, cheated on a girlfriend in college and has spent years watching her build the life she wanted with someone else. “The worst part is knowing that she didn’t get away,” he told Metro. “I let her go.”

Sooner or later I will become the "great simplyfier" here. Fine.

What makes us love somebody and not everybody?

= We react to a certain TYPE of a human fellow, not a specific individual. Statistically, it happens mostly on the workplace and not on the dance floor. After a certain time, a divorce rate of nearly 50% turns "love" into a speculative venture that went wrong.

Only quantum of solace: Up to this very day, science has not found out what causes "love" in the human brain. The only consensus is, that "love" takes place in the human brain. Certain hormones named as the main "perpetraitors". That's all we know about "love". Nothing more.

52 minutes ago, unblocktheplanet said:

[Opinion. I myself wonder what might have been had I not decamped to Thailand. I was married to both at once, one there, one here. The mother of my children and I are still in touch almost daily. I think it will be hard on the other when the first of us dies.]

Why Men Never Stop Thinking About ‘The One That Got Away’, According to Psychology

There’s a hard truth a lot of us need to learn.

Ashley Fike

Vice: 4 Jul 2026

According to UC Berkeley social psychology researcher Maria Luciani, studies show men are more likely than women to regret romantic “missed opportunities,” while women are more likely to regret relationships that actually happened. That’s a telling difference. For many men, the ghost of a relationship that never fully materialized sticks around longer than one that ran its course.

A handful of men often they think about the one that got away, and the answers ranged from uncomfortable to striking. Ciaran, 37, has been married for 18 years and describes his marriage as happy—and still thinks about an ex almost daily, 21 years on.

Nostalgia, unlike rumination or counterfactual thinking, tends to pull people toward positive memories rather than bitterness—which is part of why it’s so easy to revisit. The brain isn’t replaying what actually happened. It’s replaying a curated version of it.

Not every story is about timing or circumstance. Ahaan, 23, cheated on a girlfriend in college and has spent years watching her build the life she wanted with someone else. “The worst part is knowing that she didn’t get away,” he told Metro. “I let her go.”

So you are admitting to bigamy?