Haiku...thaiku

[pumpuiman]

After reading some lovely poetry in another thread, I thought it might be fun to see if we have any other poets here.

To keep it simple....lets try Haiku...or Thaiku some may say.

Remember the rules.....3 lines...5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables

Lets keep it Thai related if possible......but anything goes

Here's one to get it started.....

sweat beads on my brow

my eyes begin to water

fingers in som tum

[ratchabuild]

After reading some lovely poetry in another thread, I thought it might be fun to see if we have any other poets here.

To keep it simple....lets try Haiku...or Thaiku some may say.

Remember the rules.....3 lines...5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables

Lets keep it Thai related if possible......but anything goes

Here's one to get it started.....

sweat beads on my brow

my eyes begin to water

fingers in som tum

I enjoyed your example and tried and found it incredibly hard. Counting syllables is not easy but here is my attempt to keep the ball rolling

Thai girl so young please

warm my cold dead heart cheaply

Let me live my lie

Hope I have not broken any of the rules of the form perhaps if I have you could explain them further.

[ZombieQueen]

Sitting young and pretty,

Wearing Hello Kitty,

Promised new lands and gold,

Her heart begins to unfold

Ooops. I did four lines instead.... Sorry?

Edited September 2, 2007 by ZombieQueen

[suegha]

Sitting young and pretty,

Wearing Hello Kitty,

Promised new lands and gold,

Her heart begins to unfold

Ooops. I did four lines instead.... Sorry?

Yes it failed as a haiku, lines and syllables, but it's very pretty! Oh, and it's not necessary to rhyme.

[suegha]

Thailand, land of smiles

The sights, sounds, smells, heat and dust

Real people, real smiles.

[adjan jb]

lets try Haiku...

Remember the rules.....3 lines...5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables

Do these rules apply to Haiku or Tanka ?

I can't remember.

[adjan jb]

lets try Haiku...

Remember the rules.....3 lines...5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables

Do these rules apply to Haiku or Tanka ?

I can't remember.

It seems you're right. Here are some definitions:

In traditional Japanese, the haiku was often written in one long string, from top to bottom, using 17 onji (sound-symbols), the shortest unit of meaning. These onji were usually divided into 3 sections, with the middle one being slightly longer than the others; a pause at the end of the first or second section often divided the haiku into two thoughts or images which contrasted or combined to make a striking perception, usually involving nature. Some call this the Haiku Moment. Others refer to this moment of revelation shared by poet and reader as the ahness of the haiku.

Early translators, assuming that onji equaled syllables in our language (they do not), decided the English equivalent should be 3 lines containing 5-7-5 syllables respectively. Many poets still look for haiku in that pattern, though occasionally today’s verses may have from 1 to 5 lines and a varying number of syllables. Not all classical Japanese haiku had 17 onji, let alone 17 “syllables,” so if we insist on that pattern, it is out of habit, not out of respect for the original.

A more-reliable standard for haiku in English is a verse of 10-15 syllables in 3 lines having 2-3-2 beats respectively. If your verse falls outside those parameters, it needs other strengths to compensate. By all means, abide by the rules of the contest or editor you are writing for. If you know the preferences of the judge, so much the better.

dangling

from the impatiens bloom

caterpillar

A haiku usually

• Is brief—no more than 17 syllables arranged in 3 lines—but reads smoothly (avoids the “telegram” effect)

• Pictures an experience of awe or sudden insight

• Refers to nature (other than human)

• Contains one seasonal reference—avoids redundancy

• Uses strong sensory images

• Happens in the present

• Is objective rather than subjective

• Avoids most poetic devices (metaphor, etc.)

• Uses punctuation sparingly and seldom is titled

• Emphasizes phrases rather than complete sentences: strong nouns and verbs, few adjectives or adverbs

Individual haiku frequently ignore one or more of these guidelines. However, if a verse ignores several, it should have extraordinary appeal in other areas, or judges and editors are likely to pass over it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In 12th century Japan, poets, individually or in teams, participated in poetry contests held in the royal courts. Prizes were at times elegant and valuable, so hundreds of poets often competed. The verse they wrote was called Tanka (tän´ka, or "short poem"; also called Waka). A very old form even then, it was based on still more-ancient uta, songs of Japanese mythology. Treasured collections of tanka exist from as far back as the 7th century.

The classical tanka contains 31 onji (sound-symbols, the smallest linguistic unit in Japanese poetry). Early translators, assuming that onji correspond to English syllables (they do not), decided that the English equivalent would be a poem of 31 syllables divided into 5 lines of 5-7-5-7-7 syllables. This syllable requirement is still very popular in English tanka, although frequent variations occur. Since we tend to think in accentual-syllabic terms, 5 lines containing 2-3-2-3-3 beats, respectively (regardless of the number of unaccented syllables), is probably closer to the original Japanese intent. However, for teaching purposes, the 31 syllable format is a reliable benchmark, so it is convenient to employ it to begin.

Since I have loved you

I compare my former thoughts

To those I have now,

And realize that I then

Had no ideas at all.

[pumpuiman]

I'll try again......thanks to all the great poets who have given it a go

Buffalo is sick

My mother needs a kidney

I love you jing jing

Edited September 3, 2007 by pumpuiman

[chavy]

it's far too early for this sort of thread

[pumpuiman]

it's far too early for this sort of thread

It's far too early

for this sort of thread I think

I'll wait until drunk

[pumpuiman]

Wringing my two hands

I wait anticipating

fiance visa

[canadiangirl]

After reading some lovely poetry in another thread, I thought it might be fun to see if we have any other poets here.

To keep it simple....lets try Haiku...or Thaiku some may say.

Remember the rules.....3 lines...5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables

Lets keep it Thai related if possible......but anything goes

Here's one to get it started.....

sweat beads on my brow

my eyes begin to water

fingers in som tum

I enjoyed your example and tried and found it incredibly hard. Counting syllables is not easy but here is my attempt to keep the ball rolling

Thai girl so young please

warm my cold dead heart cheaply

Let me live my lie

Hahahhahahhahaa. Good one!

[adjan jb]

A veil of raindrops

My shelter is an island

Warm solitude

[pumpuiman]

Oh, it takes so long

for the fan to swing my way

cool for a moment

[Nongwahyay]

I sit here content

Drinking my milky coffee

Sods, must now go work

[baabaabobo]

I sit here and sweat

The curry was very hot

The bum gun is next

[pumpuiman]

I sit here and sweat

The curry was very hot

The bum gun is next

:D

[adjan jb]

A veil of raindrops

My shelter is an island

Warm solitude

Fragant latitude

Another night on Thailand

Late reverie, hope

[AlexLah]

It is raining

I stand here waiting

You told me you love me, only me....

[Nongwahyay]

It is raining

I stand here waiting

You told me you love me, only me....

Your 5-7-5 rhythm seems a bit wonky.....................

[pumpuiman]

It is raining

I stand here waiting

You told me you love me, only me....

Your 5-7-5 rhythm seems a bit wonky.....................

But credit given for artistry

[tasasc]

Issan farmers your

Daughters are in Pattaya

Harvesting farang

[pumpuiman]

On the overpass

The woman begs with her child

feet bare black and cracked

[suegha]

Issan farmers your

Daughters are in Pattaya

Harvesting farang

This has to be the best yet!

[tasasc]

"Palace shut today"

An avuncular tout says.

Gem shops await you

(Thanks Suegha )

[pumpuiman]

Is it just me or

do we all really have a

crush on Bambina

[suegha]

Is it just me or

do we all really have a

crush on Bambina

And why ever not

she is a truely gorgeous

sexy Thai lady

[suegha]

"Palace shut today"

An avuncular tout says.

Gem shops await you

(Thanks Suegha )

Another corker! You obviously have a talent for this haiku composition!

[paulsmithson]

mooghata

khow pad mo

arhan thai I love it so.

does this qualify?

[suegha]

mooghata

khow pad mo

arhan thai I love it so.

does this qualify?

I don't know, what does it mean?