The Role Of A Wife In Thai Society

[lazeeboy]

Look up "Thailand (Muang Thai)Kittiwut Jod Taywaditep, M.D., M.A., Eli Coleman, Ph.D. and Pacharin Dumronggittigule, M.Sc."

for a quite readable overview.

thai,s marry for face not love..........

[AA1]

thai men will often marry beneath them selves ,woman would never.....

This is exactly what I was told by a wealthy Thai family BUT it does make it more difficult for daughters of top families to find a good husband rather than a gold-digger.

[xyborg]

<br />

thai men will often marry beneath them selves ,woman would never.....

<br /><br />This is exactly what I was told by a wealthy Thai family BUT it does make it more difficult for daughters of top families to find a good husband rather than a gold-digger.<br />

<br /><br /><br />

All seems rather pathetic to me !

[xyborg]

<br />A Thai woman would rarely marry below her class.<br /><br />If she did she would lose face with her family.<br /><br /><br />

<br /><br /><br />

How exactly is this "class" measured??

[xyborg]

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In reality, outside the Chinese dominated cities in Thailand, traditional Thai culture is not patriarchal, but is certainly moving in that direction. <b>Traditional Thai culture is matrilocal</b> with husbands moving in with their wives family and the wife having a significant say in family matters as she will be backed up by her sisters and parents and her hubby would have been dependent upon his new father-in-law for padi land. Many rural villages still have clusters of sisters living in close proximity. So traditionally, hai women were not mere toys for their husbands. The husbands were toys of the rulers, the<i> chao chiwits</i>, who took the men away for several months a year as corvee laborers.<br /><br />Chinese culture is patriarchal and patrilineal. And as the prestigious economic elite in Thailand, the Thai Chinese have long been influencing traditional Thai culture towards their own social norms. Skinner got it arse backwards.

<br /><br /><br />Thank you for a bit of educated reality on the cultural background here. <img src="style_emoticons/default/thumbsup.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="thumbsup.gif" /> <br /><br />Obviously in modern Thailand many of those traditions are watering down slowly, especially have so in the last ten years. Both in the newly urban worker classes (hardly researched yet) and in the middle classes more and more marriages are love based, and also in the villages this becomes more the norm now.<br />

<br /><br /><br />

And about time too, good for them things are very different and changing rapidly especially in Bangkok. It will spread outwards hopefully.

[meemiathai]

"The problem with these TV sociological observations is that they are given from the perspective of the cloistered expat community. For those expats that are high end in terms of employment or education, their chances of meeting high end members of the opposite sex are far greater than that of the old guy who's social life consists of visiting girlie bars in Pattaya."

you have no idea what you are talking about. a wife is a status symbol for thai men with money. btw, i have no idea what my most has to do with pattaya or farang. if it helps you, i have spent an entire 2 days in pattaya my entire life. it seems like you have some sort of bent, maybe you should just go post in one of the many i hate farang with bar girl topics.

It was just typing mistake. I think he meant Nana.

[gburns57au]

<br />A Thai woman would rarely marry below her class.<br /><br />If she did she would lose face with her family.<br /><br /><br />

<br /><br /><br />

How exactly is this "class" measured??

Income, education and social standing.

Same as a western country.

[xyborg]

<br />

<br />A Thai woman would rarely marry below her class.<br /><br />If she did she would lose face with her family.<br /><br /><br />

<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />How exactly is this "class" measured??<br />

<br /><br /><br />Income, education and social standing.<br /><br />Same as a western country.<br /><br />

<br /><br /><br />

I think compatabiltiy is more important ie enjoying the same things or interests does this figure in it?? My wife has a degree I have nothing, blimey I married up, she has her own house and land too so we are = there.

I have a friend in the UK started off life in a council house studied to "A" level was always bright, at 32 he did an open university degree and always had an interest in computers. Now at 44 he is consulting on security with computers, has worked for big companies advising them ie Halifax Bank ,Channel 4 tv etc and earns a collossal salary thousands per week £.

His wife is totally different but togetehr they are a hilarious double act and still madly in love after 21 years of marriage. I love going to see them.

I married my wife because of who she is I didnt look at what she had perhaps Thais could look at this more but I fear the class system is too deeply intrenched in their culture to change quickly. Time will tell.

Interestingly whne chatting to my customers about many Thai things they say its like the Uk used to be 60 years ago ie social attitudes etc.

[gburns57au]

Can be any or all of the three....

You as a Westerner would be looked upon as having a higher social standing and probably a better income than your lady. So she has married up.

[xyborg]

<br />Can be any or all of the three....<br /><br />You as a Westerner would be looked upon as having a higher social standing and probably a better income than your lady. So she has married up.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />

<br /><br /><br />

And there I was thinking I was just a fat bellied, foul mouthed. football chanting, balding 65 year old "nissed as a pewt" bankrupt loser!!

[wilko]

The Thais envy my partner............. all the qualities needed for a happy marriage...a Gordon bleu Chef in the bedroom and in the kitchen an Utter Slut!

gets really embarrassing if they come round to eat

[gburns57au]

<br />Can be any or all of the three....<br /><br />You as a Westerner would be looked upon as having a higher social standing and probably a better income than your lady. So she has married up.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />

<br /><br /><br />

And there I was thinking I was just a fat bellied, foul mouthed. football chanting, balding 65 year old "nissed as a pewt" bankrupt loser!!

must be love then.....

[Stephen Cleary]

Culturally and historically speaking, Thai guys do not marry women from a ‘lower’ class than them. In fact, from the wonderful days of the Sakdhina era, men have been more likely to marry women of a higher class then themselves.

Nowhere in Thai or Thai-Chinese society is this a norm - ‘Thai men marry beneath themselves but Thai women would never’

This mentality isn’t embedded within Thai beliefs or the education system as stated earlier but it has been prominent mind-set…. again from the Sakdhina era.

Just notice how many well-off Thai guys are playing around with their deliciously fancy minor wives while their common-in-law wife, the same age with loadsa cash, is sat at home twiddling her thumbs. Yeah sure, unfortunate to say, but Thais are pretty bewildered at Caucasians coming to Thailand and tying the knot with women ten rungs down the social ladder.

[aehn]

Perhaps the observations are true for those of limited economic means or education, but it does not hold true for many others. It is no different than the west. A successful Thai woman is not going to marry a tuk tuk driver, no matter how cute he is, anymore than a western lady is going to marry a taxi driver. Seriously now, when is the last time anyone actually saw a senior male exec from a foreign based company marry a Thai hawker or retail clerk? When's the last time a uni prof, married the groundskeeper, anywhere? It may happen, but it's a rarity.

The problem with these TV sociological observations is that they are given from the perspective of the cloistered expat community. For those expats that are high end in terms of employment or education, their chances of meeting high end members of the opposite sex are far greater than that of the old guy who's social life consists of visiting girlie bars in Pattaya.

Who cares about the social status of your wife or lover?

Yes, this is not important for us males, BUT it is of VERY BIG importance for a women, and its the same in the west too. Although not as explicit.

[aehn]

I have to disagree with you. It's not Thai men choosing a higher class wife to elevate themselves. It's more like the other way around. Low class Thai men have very little to no chance of getting married to a Thai woman that is of a higher class than they are.

yes, indeed.

[Furbie]

I don't know any rich Thai men that well to have them provide that kind of information. There is an old Thai saying that a woman is the elephant's hind legs. Since the elephant develops most of his power with his hind legs, the saying should be fairly obvious.

Most Thai men I know/have met will let you know they have a mistress after the third drink, rich or middle class. They brag more about their mistress than their wife and kids, which they tell you about between the first and second drink. After drink six, they are trying to pick up the waitress. By the seventh drink, one of them is being carried away.

This is my experience from drinking with dozens and dozens of Thai guys who I only know in a work related capacity - fortunately, the company pays for it.

Oddly, I have even had a number of taxi drivers tell me they have a mistress (which is ironic because I hate idle chit chat with the taxi drivers), many break out the pictures as well.

Keep in mind, having a mistress is a status symbol, and Thai's want to impress those around them.