Your Worst Thai Messups

[Thanyaburi Mac]

Well, not Thai but in Laos some time ago.

Long ago in another age, this being spring of 1969, I was living at Sam Thong, LS-20, and working largely up at Houei Thong Kho, LS-184, north of the PDJ and the last friendly airstrip in Sam Nuea Province. I was with USAID/Laos, Refugee Relief Branch, at the time.

One afternoon I was winging my way up there in an Air America H-34, called the local commander on the ground, Captain Lee Lao, on my HT-2 portable VHF radio. I asked Lee Lao about the security situation as I was planning to spend the night there, had my sleeping bag and have a case of Oly along.

I asked him if the bad guys were “gai,” or far away. He replied, or so I thought, that they were “gai,” far away. Fine, we circled and landed, I got my ruck out and over to Lee Laos pretty nice dugout bunker for a confab, dinner, suds, and talks.

Then along towards the wee hours when we were sleeping heard some mortar rounds going off in the distance. Lee Lao radioed out to the outpost who said they were having some TIC. Lee Lao then got on the big radio to Long Tieng and requested Spooky, who showed up a couple of hours later. They worked Spooky around the area until all the flares were gone and he'd shot up a bunch of ammo. Had some problems of communications as the Hmong FAG on the ground had to relay through a couple of people to Lee Lao and his English speaker talked to the AC-47.

Later after all was quiet again I asked Lee Lao why he said all the bad guys were far away, “gai.”

He said no, he'd told me that they were close by, “gai.”

Hmmm, sounds the same to my old ears. Turns out the spoken length of the word is different.

Far is more like “gaaai,” a long word.

Close is short, chopped off, “gai!)

OK, got that, so afterwards I just asked “gai pandai.” “Pandai” got me off the hook as it means how much, so if I misunderstood, I got an answer in kilometers or meters, far or close.

There's usually a work-around.

Mac

[mangkorn]

>>>

"Misunderstandings with the word "pour" can have devastating effects.

Especially when drinking

Don't know what this means. Please type a transliteration of the good word and the funny/bad word so I can catch on. Might have made the same mistake myself.

<<<

Perhaps he means saying "pour" in English, to indicate that he wants more, but having that be understood as the Thai word meaning "that's enough."

[realthaideal]

"Perhaps he means saying "pour" in English, to indicate that he wants more, but having that be understood as the Thai word meaning "that's enough."

You're good at figuring this out Mangkorn. It's like the old complaint 'Why can't they understand what I'm saying (even if I get the tone wrong)?' What matters is context and what nerves get fired off in MY brain. I hear pour and think of every way I can say it in Thai and don't even think of saying it in Eng. Also, then why the trouble with being drunk ? You get uppity?

Had the same trouble with the other guy who said work and virgin. Was thinking ngan and borigan. After you posted, of course, bori-sat/sut, so obvious. But was thinking work - the action, not the place you show up, a company. And that's why.... it's nice when the posters tell us the words they used that caused the troubles. But the other point was, you're good at sleuthing it out when they don't.

[mangkorn]

I might be quite wrong about that one. I just received a PM that said: "Could he have meant "ผัว"?

Hmm...

[TonyBkk]

In my first reading & writing class, we were going through the high class consonants. So that day for homework we had to write out a meaningless mixture of the new consonants with vowels. I was going through ห, so my page looked like this เห แห หิ หี , the next day when I submitted itม my teacher came over to me and said "เขียนนี้ไม่ได้" pointing to the combination of ห and อี, which she drew a big red X over. I didn't know the word at the time and asked why that was, she just replied "ไม่ดี". My girlfriend informed me of the correct meaning when I got home, and now enjoys telling her friends about my little mess-up.

[booma]

I heard of a couple of lads who fancied going to a park and flying a kite. They then, being new to Los and it's lingo, proceeded to look this up in a dictionary and then walk around shops in the banglamphu area of BKK saying 'chack wow' without even putting khrap at the end!

Edited October 7, 2007 by booma

[mart29]

i ordered an erect penis a few weeks ago at a japanese restaurant in mbk without knowing it or what it meant much to the hilarity of everyone else, i miss pronounced what i was trying to say, i cant even remember what it was. then all my thai freinds wanted to know how i knew that word, i was not amused....well ok i was a bit.

[percy2]

I might be quite wrong about that one. I just received a PM that said: "Could he have meant "ผัว"?

Hmm...

You were correct first time.

Cheers

But the other way around.

Edited October 9, 2007 by percy2

[sutnyod]

I heard of a couple of lads who fancied going to a park and flying a kite. They then, being new to Los and it's lingo, proceeded to look this up in a dictionary and then walk around shops in the banglamphu area of BKK saying 'chack wow' without even putting khrap at the end!

*grin* How many people did you ask and how did they react? If you'd were a woman they would even have understood...

[loong]

I don't know why, but I have a mental block with the word for sun แดด dàet

as it always comes out as แตด dtàet

Also when studying, I had to write a diary and wrote that I sat and chatted with friends

Chat คุย kui

I misspelled it ควย

I must be obsessed with the genital area

Edited October 10, 2007 by loong

[sutnyod]

I don't know why, but I have a mental block with the word for sun แดด dàet

Same same. I wanted to say 'Today there is sunshine'.... Guess what....

It was actually the first time I realized that 'tdo' and 'do' are not the same. As a newcomer I just did not hear the difference. Since then I paid very much attention to tones and a clear articulation.

[meadish_sweetball]

Very common pronunciation mistake. Most farang I hear speaking Thai can not differentiate between 'bai' and 'bpai' - it all sounds like 'bai'.

[stateman]

I asked for noodles with pork, but don't like liver ("tahb") in it.

But I blew it, by saying to the young waitress: "Mai sai tahd." ("Don't put a vagina in it!")

"Mai sai tahd." tahd = clit. (not v.)

[andyadam]

Told my wifes family she was "suay" bad luck, instead of "suay" pretty!!!!

Called my wifes cousin "moy" (pubic hair), instead of "mwoy" (her name), this was great, but I did it for 3 years before anyone told me!!!!!!

[zaZa9]

Hi everyone, Im new here...

I am slowly teaching myself Thaiand there is nothing like the eloquence of the self-taught...

I was greeted at my favourite Thai restaurant by the owner and she looked frazzled and I replied "Sawadee Kup Nit, yoong kuen ni mai?" She hurried off and returned with a can of personal insect repellant and slapped it on the table.

Puzzled...

It was much later she explained I had said "Mosquitoes tonight" when I had meant "Busy tonight?"

[speleo]

Whilst driving, pointing at a farm animal and saying "kwoi" instead of "kwai". It took 10 minutes for my passengers to recover sufficiently to explain my mistake.

Good thread - I now know what it means when, as usual, I mispronounce 'beautiful'.

[Rikker]

Called my wifes cousin "moy" (pubic hair), instead of "mwoy" (her name), this was great, but I did it for 3 years before anyone told me!!!!!!

I didn't do it for three years, but when I was fresh in country I did the same thing for a few days.

For those wishing to avoid the same mistake, the common nickname for Chinese-looking girls is หมวย (from the Chinese word for little sister--corresponds to ตี๋ for boys), while the impolite word for pubic hair is หมอย.

Dangerous, I must say.

[bannork]

A friend was puzzled, he explained he had got on a crowded air-conditioned bus and gently made his way to the back as he was going a long way but he kept getting hostile looks.

He insisted he had been very polite saying excuse me in Thai as he slowly made his way.

I asked him what he actually said, it was in fact ขอตด khor dtod -'can I fart please?' as opposed to ขอโทษ khor tort 'excuse me' and on a crowded aircon bus! no wonder the black looks!

[Morty]

I had a "moment" on one of my first visits to Thailand, many years ago. We were down at Koh Samui, and we used to eat our breakfasts at Will wait in Chaweng. they made a banana shake that was to die for. I asked a friend how to say banana shake in Thai she told me it was kuoy pann , needless to say that order didn't go very well. I later found out that banana actually is kluoy. Ever since, whenever I talk about bananas I make sure I pronounce the L.

[Crow Boy]

I have had my fair share of mistakes over the years. In my old house I lived with a Thai family and none spoke English so I was under pressure to learn the language just to get things to eat and drink. The house was typical old style Thai and the "bathroom" was underneath the house. It consisted of a slab of concrete with wooden walls and a swing to door. The water was in large earthern drums and to have a shower you lifted the water into a bucket above. The bucket had holes in the bottom and hey presto Thai version of a shower. The water ran out through a hole in the base of the wall and so it was common to share the place with frogs etc that came in for the cool and for the water. One evening I went for my shower and there in the middle of the floor was a two metre snake - I carefully closed the door on it and went upstairs telling my house mother not to let anyone go for a shower because there was a snake there. As is very common and difficult for farung to say. I said งู she heard หนู and wondered why I was so concerned about a mouse. I went down to our neighbour who was the village "snake man" and told him the same thing - he also heard "mouse" and figured that farung really are strange. Anyway he good naturedly went back to the house where my house mother and her two daughters were huddled on top of a low table. The girls had gone for a shower laughing that I was frightened of a mouse. She went into a flurry of Thai to the snake man who turned to me and said Not Mouse - Snake. The snake man sorted out our snake problem- next morning I bought a strip of chicken wire and stuffed it into the hole to let water out and keep the vermin from coming in.

CB

[Crow Boy]

I thought of another spectacular mistake that I made with Thai.

As all will know there are quite a number of English words that have been incorporated into the Thai language. Words such as computer, Lotus, Coca Cola and many others. All these words are pronounced using the Thai language rules and consequently they are rarely the same as they are said in English. More so if we as forung use the "English version" most Thais will not understand what we mean. Go and ask for a bottle of Coke instead of a Cok neung kuwat and you will understand. I once stood in a computer store and told the salesman I wanted a computer - he looked blankly then leaned over and said "oh you mean gombpudter" Same deal with Lap top - where it becomes a labbatob.

There are a second group of words that have been adopted by Thai and not only has the pronunciation changed but also the meaning. Faen - lover/partner came from the English word "fan" as to be an admirer. So while I can say say in English "I am a fan of Keith Richards" that same sentence may raise an eyebrow in Thai.

The last group of adopted words are those that have the same pronunciation but very different meaning. This was the cause of my "fox paw" in Thai.

Each Monday morning at Uni we started with a 3 hours session of listening/speaking - everything in Thai and we would tell Ajaan Noi what we did over the weekend. Every took turns and it was a question and answer sequence with the other students also taking part.

My turn came up first and I was telling everyone that I had a great weekend because on Friday night I went to a bar and had a "gig" for the fist time in ages. Instantly my teacher said "what the.........?"

"Yep" said I - "I had a gig on Friday and it was so good I did another one on Saturday at the same place."

Intrigued but somewhat hesitant to ask she repeated again "you had a gig?"

Thinking she was a bit slow on the uptake or not understanding my pronunciation I repeated "Yes a gig, great time, bit sore in the morning because I am out of practice but I had been doing a fair bit of revision and everything came together on the night"

Still looking somewhat confused and flustered she asked if I did this often.

Warming to the subject I said "Have not had one for quite a while, did a bit of it in Samuii but not much since I moved up to Chiang Mai. I explainded that I had a girlfriend and she wasn't keen on me going out, coming back late and reeking of cigarettes and beer.

Ajaan Noi was now sitting back in her chair with a rather glazed look so I kept on going.

One of my classmates asked I had done gigs in Australia before and I said that at one stage I was doing gigs between 4 and 6 nights a week and at one time had 3 on Saturday and even a lunch time one on Sunday.

I then went on and said that I did it because they were good fun but the money was also useful.

At this Ajaan Noi perked up and said "they pay you?"

I replied "well depends on the crowd but sometimes with tips you can make a decent bit out of a good gig" "You need to have good material, and it helps if the crowd get involved too"

At this stage she decided that she had heard enough and it was onto the next student who started talking about how she went to Central and bought a blouse or something such like.

At the lunch break one of my previous teachers Ajaan Rae came up and asked if I had told Ajaan Noi I had a gig on the weekend. I said yes and she laughed. Apparently Noi had been in the teachers lunch room and repeating in breathless detail what I had been up to over the weekend.

Ajaan Rae had to jump in and explain that a gig in English is when someone goes to play in a band or in my case play guitar at a bar/restaurant and not take a girl on a short time.

She then come out to explain this vital difference in meaning between the Thai and the English version of the same word.

Gig - an enjoyable interlude, involving payment. Means the same in Thai but in a totally different context

CB

[mangkorn]

If you said you're a fan of Keith Richards, that would be confusing, but if you said you were a fan of Liverpool, it would be understood in the same way (at least I hope nobody would think you were going out with the whole team).

[mangkorn]

สาวก is a genuine Thai word for a fan/ardent follower of an entertainer, celebrity, politician, etc. Thanks for prompting me to look that up.

[Crow Boy]

สาวก is a genuine Thai word for a fan/ardent follower of an entertainer, celebrity, politician, etc. Thanks for prompting me to look that up.

Yes I also had to look it up as well - it is a case where there is a "proper word" and what seems to be a commonly used one come about by copying an English word. The Thai-English dictionary by Benjawan Poomsan Becker shows fan (of sport) as แพ่น which is the same as that used for a partner/lover. My friend pronounced the fan (of sport) in the same way as a nativie English speaker so I am thinking it should really be เผ่น The ผ is high class so with the tone mark is low. If it was พ as in the faen the character is Low Class and with the tone mark would be falling tone.

[mangkorn]

สาวก is a genuine Thai word for a fan/ardent follower of an entertainer, celebrity, politician, etc. Thanks for prompting me to look that up.

Yes I also had to look it up as well - it is a case where there is a "proper word" and what seems to be a commonly used one come about by copying an English word. The Thai-English dictionary by Benjawan Poomsan Becker shows fan (of sport) as แพ่น which is the same as that used for a partner/lover. My friend pronounced the fan (of sport) in the same way as a nativie English speaker so I am thinking it should really be เผ่น The ผ is high class so with the tone mark is low. If it was พ as in the faen the character is Low Class and with the tone mark would be falling tone.

hmm...I don't think that's correct: all my dictionaries, including Becker's, use แฟน (low-class, middle tone, long vowel, no tone mark) for sports fan and partner/lover. That's normal Thai pronunciation. As a loan word, there shouldn't be any tone mark, the way RID rules go (I think) - unless one would help to distinguish it from a Thai word, which is not the case here. Anyway, it is a middle-tone word (no stress) even in English, no?

[meadish_sweetball]

Agree with Mangkorn here.... The spelling is definitely แฟน with an initial low class consonant, the vowel is long and the tone mid.

[HS Mauberley]

Quite a while ago I was sent to the chemist's by my wife to get something for her cold but a combination of my (still) crappy pronunciation and over-translation from English left me standing in front of a confused pharmacist saying over-and-over "My wife has an egg." I left empty handed.

Also (interesting how many of these involve inadvertent obscenities) making small talk with an adult student of mine who had just started lessons on the kim, I got mixed up and asked her if she had fun playing with her jim. Luckily she was broad-minded enough to laugh at me.

[Crow Boy]

Agree with Mangkorn here.... The spelling is definitely แฟน with an initial low class consonant, the vowel is long and the tone mid.

I have to agree with both of you - reread my post and realised that I am an idiot.

as I had written it it would be paen - ok add this to the list of mess ups

sigh

CB

[luumak]

After my first trip to Thailand in 93 I had a bit of a go with the language. I traveled to Vietnam and with the Thai still in my head called a young woman "dii" (good). I later found/beleive this to mean prostitute in Vietnamese. Luckily, she was but it still must have ben pretty insulting.

Edited November 16, 2007 by luumak

[disforkid]

For those of you who know and have mixed these words up you soon understand my pain 2 posters have already touched on it.

When I first started to learn Thai I thought I was the muts nuts – I could chat to all the locals order drinks, chat to my mates on the phone unfortunately now seven years later I realise how absolutely appalling my Thai must have been, as and old friend of mine put it the other day (he finally feels comfortable to say this now!!) for the first 2 years we knew you, we loved to hear you speak Thai - but we couldn’t understand a word!

He had a point but he was wrong too, I could speak very clearly when I wanted too, especially in the Pharmacy. I hate getting sun burnt and I know the ladies over here go crazy for the pasty look, so I always use plenty of sun block when I’m out and about. So I’d always go into Pharmacies and ask for kream gan dtaird (lit. sun protection cream) but all that would happen is the old Chinese’s pharmacy ladies would chase me out of the shop shouting at the top of their voices and if there was a young female working in a pharmacy she would look at me like I was a complete loon or went bright red and ran off giggling with all the other girls and if there was a male pharmacists he would laugh so hard he couldn’t even serve me.

Man I thought Thai pharmacies were strange places this went on for about a year until a female shop assistant took pity on me and explained that my pronunciation was not correct and I should be saying daird not dtaird, I asked her what was the difference, they sounded pretty similar to me, and she very calmly and politely explained that I had not been asking for sun protection cream but pussy protection cream…oops!