Actual Instruction Labels...

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:

Warning keep out of children.

ON A HAIR DRYER:

Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS:

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ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

ON A FROZEN DINNER:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:

Fits one head.

ON TESCO''S TIRAMISU DESERT:

Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:

Product will be hot after heating.

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:

Do not iron clothes on body.

ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):

Warning: may cause drowsiness.

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:

Not to be used for the other use.

ON SAINSBURY''S PEANUTS:

Warning: contains nuts.

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.