Trusting My Thai Gf...

[iminthailand]

Feel free to move this if it is in the wrong place. Would like to get opinions particularily from Thais.

I spent my 1st 8 months or so on Koh Samui, so I might be biased because of all the garbage going on there...I live in BKK now.

I just get nervous because it seems like cheating is just accepted in Asia in general and even more so in Thailand (the sorta stick your head in the sand mentality).

I'm in my 20's and my gf is 23.

She went to a public university in BKK and from a middle class family.

She works at a major corporation in Bangkok but also works as a Beer promo girl and probably meets a lot of Thai and Farong men from this.

She didn't sleep with me right away and never seemed to care about if I had money or not (I think she knows I do now, but didn't for awhile)

She said I am only the 2nd guy she has had sex with (1st was a Thai bf she was with from age 20-23). She said she has been on dates with a few more guys after she split with her bf but didn't sleep with them.

I've only been with her for a month but see her almost every day.

Anyway, she is definately a girl I'd be happy to have a relationship with but trust is a big thing for me. She would be the only girl in Thailand that I've been with that I trust.

FWIW it wouldn't bother me if she has had sex with more guys than 2 (as long as its not Bar girl type numbers), it would hugely bother me if she lied though. Can I pretty much use the same logic/dating common sense as I can with a western girl here? I just want to be able to trust her when I'm not around.

I guess I'd like to hear opinions. I hear a lot of blanket "don't trust thai girls" statements but I really don't want that to be true here.

Thanks.

PS If some part of this seems ignorant for one way or another please keep flames to a minimum, not trying to offend anyone.

Edited October 7, 2007 by iminthailand

[nidge]

She went to a public university in BKK and is not from Isaan.

PS If some part of this seems ignorant for one way or another please keep flames to a minimum, not trying to offend anyone.

Anyone that puts a statement like this in a post deserves to be strung up and slapped. For someone that is not trying to offend anyone you are doing a bloody good job!

[madjbs]

Unless anyone actually knows your girlfriend your kind of asking an impossible question. Nobody can tell you if you should trust her or not, you should spend some more time with her and find out yourself. Some people are bad and some are good, its the same everywhere.

[GuestHouse]

Lots of guys, including myself, are married to Thai women who we trust implicitly (otherwise there wouldn't have been a wedding).

Lots of those guys, including, myself, didn't hear stories about untrustworthy Thai women but had first hand experience.

The lesson to learn (always) is take people as you find them. If she hasn't cheated on you then there is no reason to believe she will.

Perhaps more importantly - don't extrapolate the stories you hear of women in the P4P business onto the behaviour of Thai women in general.

And since that is where the vast majority of Farang experience of Thai women is found, then that is where the vast majority of 'cheating Thai' stories originate.

Relax and enjoy the good times.

[coldcrush]

She went to a public university in BKK and is not from Isaan.

PS If some part of this seems ignorant for one way or another please keep flames to a minimum, not trying to offend anyone.

Anyone that puts a statement like this in a post deserves to be strung up and slapped. For someone that is not trying to offend anyone you are doing a bloody good job!

Yep, have to agree with you on that one Nidge.

However beer promo girls are quite shall we say easy to get on with and very accommodating, with their beer of course!

[iminthailand]

She went to a public university in BKK and is not from Isaan.

PS If some part of this seems ignorant for one way or another please keep flames to a minimum, not trying to offend anyone.

Anyone that puts a statement like this in a post deserves to be strung up and slapped. For someone that is not trying to offend anyone you are doing a bloody good job!

Edited...was really just bad experinces on Samui that made me post that.

[Acquiesce]

I'm not wanting to sound rude and if i do i apologise in advance.

In my opinion if anyone who has to come on an internet forum and ask this question, and seek this type of advice from strangers whom know neither party involved in the relationship is not ready to be in said relationship.

Cheers.

[GuestHouse]

That's like saying if anyone comes on here asking for advice from stangers on how to buy a condo facing the beach on Kho Samuii that they don't deserve said condo.

It's not logical at all.

Maybe the OP hasn't got any friends, maybe he expects to find an unbiased but knowlegable opinion here... Maybe he's like me, a shy type.

Anyway it matters not... what matters is 'Are we having fun?'

Edited October 7, 2007 by GuestHouse

[Acquiesce]

Like i stated, this is only my opinion. Everyone is entitled to one.

Cheers.

[GuestHouse]

Anyway I must thank the OP for reminding me of happy times with the Heineken Girl....... Sigh!

(Not your Heineken Girl OP.. if that's who she promos for ... it's a while back now.. like I say a memory).

[jetjock]

Obviously until you get to know someone fairly well, you just have to go on is common sense and your gut instinct as to whether someone is trustworthy. Since you gf is educated and from a middle class family, you are off to a good start. The biggest mistake I see people make is to get heavily involved with someone they do not really trust which unfortunately usually becomes a dead end street type relationship. Good Thai girls are IMHO probably every bit and maybe even more dedicated and trustworthy than girls from western countries.

[Acquiesce]

From other posts the OP has made it's obvious he has friends and is not realy the shy type anyway.

I have never met a thai girl who did not cheat on her farong boyfriend when he is out of the country. Most of them (ones I do or don't shag) we end up having a laugh about how they get money from their bf. My friends have pretty much had the same experiences. This includes university girls.

I'm not saying ALL girls are like this but its ridiculusly standard. If there are absolutely any hints she is cheating on you she is.

I like the Tiger girls at Suan lum.

[iminthailand]

From other posts the OP has made it's obvious he has friends and is not realy the shy type anyway.

I have never met a thai girl who did not cheat on her farong boyfriend when he is out of the country. Most of them (ones I do or don't shag) we end up having a laugh about how they get money from their bf. My friends have pretty much had the same experiences. This includes university girls.

I'm not saying ALL girls are like this but its ridiculusly standard. If there are absolutely any hints she is cheating on you she is.

I like the Tiger girls at Suan lum.

Yeah, I thought this post would come up....really don't want that lifestyle any more...When I posted it I meant girls who have sponsors especially sponsors > 2x their age. I still think that is generally pretty true. Anyway, Would rather keep this thread about the Original post.

[jing jing]

OP is very young and obviously has some issues with girls lying and cheating.

Common sense would tell you that if you're spending extended periods of time away from the sort of woman described above, someone will come along and snag her no matter who you are. She a beer promo girl, <deleted>. This is a line of work that offers an attractive young lady many, shall we say, networking opportunities.

Maybe not the best choice for someone who tends to be very suspicious.

[iminthailand]

Maybe not the best choice for someone who tends to be very suspicious.

Its not like I want a girl who stays at home or in the library all day. I don't mind other guys talking to her or even trying to pick her up regularily as long as she is honest with me. I never really care about oportunities to cheat. I think if a girl is going to shag another guy she is going to do so whether she has the oportunity to do so 1 time or 50 times and if she's not shes not. Its not even just jealousy either. I think a girl who is going to lie+sleep around will cause problems not directly related to cheating later on also.

Edited October 7, 2007 by iminthailand

[jing jing]

What you want and what you get are sometimes 2 different things.

Up to you

[meemiathai]

Feel free to move this if it is in the wrong place. Would like to get opinions particularily from Thais.

I spent my 1st 8 months or so on Koh Samui, so I might be biased because of all the garbage going on there...I live in BKK now.

I just get nervous because it seems like cheating is just accepted in Asia in general and even more so in Thailand (the sorta stick your head in the sand mentality).

I'm in my 20's and my gf is 23.

She went to a public university in BKK and from a middle class family.

She works at a major corporation in Bangkok but also works as a Beer promo girl and probably meets a lot of Thai and Farong men from this.

She didn't sleep with me right away and never seemed to care about if I had money or not (I think she knows I do now, but didn't for awhile)

She said I am only the 2nd guy she has had sex with (1st was a Thai bf she was with from age 20-23). She said she has been on dates with a few more guys after she split with her bf but didn't sleep with them.

I've only been with her for a month but see her almost every day.

Anyway, she is definately a girl I'd be happy to have a relationship with but trust is a big thing for me. She would be the only girl in Thailand that I've been with that I trust.

FWIW it wouldn't bother me if she has had sex with more guys than 2 (as long as its not Bar girl type numbers), it would hugely bother me if she lied though. Can I pretty much use the same logic/dating common sense as I can with a western girl here? I just want to be able to trust her when I'm not around.

I guess I'd like to hear opinions. I hear a lot of blanket "don't trust thai girls" statements but I really don't want that to be true here.

Thanks.

PS If some part of this seems ignorant for one way or another please keep flames to a minimum, not trying to offend anyone.

Dump her and find a girl that is flawless! (do you get what I mean young man?) Try putting her shoes on if you have time.

[meemiathai]

That's like saying if anyone comes on here asking for advice from stangers on how to buy a condo facing the beach on Kho Samuii that they don't deserve said condo.

It's not logical at all.

Maybe the OP hasn't got any friends, maybe he expects to find an unbiased but knowlegable opinion here... Maybe he's like me, a shy type.

Anyway it matters not... what matters is 'Are we having fun?'

I thought drinking in Islamic countries was prohibited? Be careful GH!

[britmaveric]

How many ladies have you slept with? I find it amazing why someone would want to know these sort of details - really has no bearing on your relationship.

[Acquiesce]

Try putting her shoes on if you have time.

If you start with her shoes next it will be her underwear, trust me, don't start wearing her clothes, this will only comlpicate matters.

[meemiathai]

Maybe not the best choice for someone who tends to be very suspicious.

Its not like I want a girl who stays at home or in the library all day. I don't mind other guys talking to her or even trying to pick her up regularily as long as she is honest with me. I never really care about oportunities to cheat. I think if a girl is going to shag another guy she is going to do so whether she has the oportunity to do so 1 time or 50 times and if she's not shes not. Its not even just jealousy either. I think a girl who is going to lie+sleep around will cause problems not directly related to cheating later on also.

Sorry my english is not good. Do you mean you don't mind your girl sleeping with others as long as she doesn't lie to you about that? If that is the case, you are the winner! The girl will be in love with you for sure!

[jetjock]

Try putting her shoes on if you have time.

If you start with her shoes next it will be her underwear, trust me, don't start wearing her clothes, this will only comlpicate matters.

Good one !

[solo siam]

How many ladies have you slept with? I find it amazing why someone would want to know these sort of details - really has no bearing on your relationship.

Would you be OK with your potential wife having had sex with say 1,000 men?

[britmaveric]

How many ladies have you slept with? I find it amazing why someone would want to know these sort of details - really has no bearing on your relationship.

Would you be OK with your potential wife having had sex with say 1,000 men?

Irrelevant to my relationship with my potential wife - as far as I'm concerned you start back at zero when you enter a relationship with someone.

[nidge]

Try putting her shoes on if you have time.

If you start with her shoes next it will be her underwear, trust me, don't start wearing her clothes, this will only comlpicate matters.

It only gets complicated if you both want to wear the same undies at the same time. (apparently )

[solo siam]

How many ladies have you slept with? I find it amazing why someone would want to know these sort of details - really has no bearing on your relationship.

Would you be OK with your potential wife having had sex with say 1,000 men?

Irrelevant to my relationship with my potential wife - as far as I'm concerned you start back at zero when you enter a relationship with someone.

So easy to say, apart from anything else it sounds like a very dangerous stance to take. I mean if you are asking the question and getting answers in the 1,000's then some sort of alarm bell should be ringing. Would it also be OK if a potential spouse had been heavily involved in the porn industry as well?

I'm not one to particularly judge in these terms, but to say that whatever the number or circumstances it's fine, is way above my head.

[britmaveric]

[so easy to say, apart from anything else it sounds like a very dangerous stance to take. I mean if you are asking the question and getting answers in the 1,000's then some sort of alarm bell should be ringing. Would it also be OK if a potential spouse had been heavily involved in the porn industry as well?

I'm not one to particularly judge in these terms, but to say that whatever the number or circumstances it's fine, is way above my head.

SO let me get this straight you enter a relationship and you want to know how many lads a bird has shagged???

[meemiathai]

How many ladies have you slept with? I find it amazing why someone would want to know these sort of details - really has no bearing on your relationship.

Would you be OK with your potential wife having had sex with say 1,000 men?

Irrelevant to my relationship with my potential wife - as far as I'm concerned you start back at zero when you enter a relationship with someone.

So easy to say, apart from anything else it sounds like a very dangerous stance to take. I mean if you are asking the question and getting answers in the 1,000's then some sort of alarm bell should be ringing. Would it also be OK if a potential spouse had been heavily involved in the porn industry as well?

I'm not one to particularly judge in these terms, but to say that whatever the number or circumstances it's fine, is way above my head.

What is your mileage then?

[Suszzy]

humm..so far so good!!

[Heng]

Middle class AND a 'cheer beer' gal?

You might want to redefine what you mean by middle class.