Daddies Girl

[tamsin]

After having a bad experience with e Thai lady i came to the conclusion that all the women here are the same and are after only one thing. In my case it was true and i lost quite a lot of money, but the emotional crap was worse. Anyway I'll not go on about that.

After i broke up with me ex, a few weeks later a met a lady in a coffee shop. I asked if the seat was taken next to her, she eventually introduced herself in perfect English that puts me to shame. After a short conversation i explained i was travelling back to the UK, we casually exchanged emails and said we would say hi from time to time. Staight away i assumed she was after one thing because of my previous experience

When i returned to the UK i took a chance and emailed her, this was beginning of August just gone and my opinions of her were very wrong. She is very well edjucated and has travelled around the world with her work and runs her own marketing company in Bangkok. We have since met and things couldn't be any better but i always have this doubt in my head that makes me feel i can't relax because of my past experience, but i really do like her.

Our relationship is starting to develop, and as with any new relationship we want to spend every minute of the day together, but there's a problem.

She is 30 years old, and I'm 34. I have met her parents who have made me feel very welcome, i have had more a conversation with her parents in the 2 visits, than my ex's in the 12 months i new them. However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest. Is this normal in Thai culture with a 30 year old. I'm totally understanding with this as she is the only daughter and they still want to protect her. It is frustrating when she can't come out to play though. Her parents are quite conservative, but my G/F is the complete opposite.

After that my question is. Do i tell her about my past, as this is makeing me un-easy sometimes. And is it normal to be a Daddies Girl at 30.

Mine is 20 and she is supposed to go back home before 6pm. Do you think you are alone?

Your past experience might have been with BGs or other similar types. Well, this is Bangkok and this usually happens here. Welcome to the club of Farang with Good Girls.

I was shocked to read the first line of your post. How come you can say all are same? Taking a look at your spelling can I say that all English guys are same in making spelling mistakes?

I met my ex in the UK actually. It was when we got to Thailand her family was expecting me to buy everything. I bought a car and paid for a house. I wasn't even married to her. Before you say what a fool, we did live together in the UK for a year so i though things were genuine.

Would you have bought her a house and a car if she had been white?

[DamianMavis]

However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest.

Probably has to be home to the Husband by that time.

Just kidding, however this girls family/background in no way make it a sure thing that you won't get ripped off again.

....or a sponsor calling her at night time from abroad, also she may have a young child to look after, who knows. I tend to be weary with Thai lasses who speak perfect / good English, it may mean 2 things: either she lived abroad or she has been exposed to farangs for long time. As somebody else said earlier, do not repeat the same mistake, learn from it. Do no let money enter into the equation, at least not before marriage, if she's a gold digger, she'll soon reveal her hand, if not then maybe you get lucky this time around. Play safe.

Her English comes from her edjucation. A Masters in International Business and e-commerce, and her past employement while working for the UN. She is not pulling the wool over my eyes as i went to her last speech were she stood infront of a 1000 guests.

The problem is with me not her.. As for her parents i have met them twice and they are very nice, and we got on really well. Her father is now retired.

We have both agreed to take things slow, and there is no talk of getting married which i wouldn't even consider just yet anyway. It's just strange having a relationship where she has to be home so early. I do respect her parents and i wouldn't even consider trying to adjust the way she is.

Thanks for the advice anyway.

PS, i dont know why there is such big gaps between lines.

She sounds like the real deal, her parents are strict like that because in their eyes it means their daughter is a very good girl and good candidate for husbands, don't know why that is so hard for you to recognise, it would be obvious to me even if I wasn't familiar with Thai culture. If a Thai man was dating her he would be impressed and take her more seriously than a girl that is allowed to stay out all night and do whatever she wants. Assuming he was even looking for a wife.

Count yourself lucky and take it slow like you are doing. DONT BUY HER ANY FREAKING HOUSES MKAY? heh, just in case you had that urge ya know.

Damian Mavis

[TommyGun]

After having a bad experience with e Thai lady i came to the conclusion that all the women here are the same and are after only one thing. In my case it was true and i lost quite a lot of money, but the emotional crap was worse. Anyway I'll not go on about that.

After i broke up with me ex, a few weeks later a met a lady in a coffee shop. I asked if the seat was taken next to her, she eventually introduced herself in perfect English that puts me to shame. After a short conversation i explained i was travelling back to the UK, we casually exchanged emails and said we would say hi from time to time. Staight away i assumed she was after one thing because of my previous experience

When i returned to the UK i took a chance and emailed her, this was beginning of August just gone and my opinions of her were very wrong. She is very well edjucated and has travelled around the world with her work and runs her own marketing company in Bangkok. We have since met and things couldn't be any better but i always have this doubt in my head that makes me feel i can't relax because of my past experience, but i really do like her.

Our relationship is starting to develop, and as with any new relationship we want to spend every minute of the day together, but there's a problem.

She is 30 years old, and I'm 34. I have met her parents who have made me feel very welcome, i have had more a conversation with her parents in the 2 visits, than my ex's in the 12 months i new them. However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest. Is this normal in Thai culture with a 30 year old. I'm totally understanding with this as she is the only daughter and they still want to protect her. It is frustrating when she can't come out to play though. Her parents are quite conservative, but my G/F is the complete opposite.

After that my question is. Do i tell her about my past, as this is makeing me un-easy sometimes. And is it normal to be a Daddies Girl at 30.

Mine is 20 and she is supposed to go back home before 6pm. Do you think you are alone?

Your past experience might have been with BGs or other similar types. Well, this is Bangkok and this usually happens here. Welcome to the club of Farang with Good Girls.

I was shocked to read the first line of your post. How come you can say all are same? Taking a look at your spelling can I say that all English guys are same in making spelling mistakes?

I met my ex in the UK actually. It was when we got to Thailand her family was expecting me to buy everything. I bought a car and paid for a house. I wasn't even married to her. Before you say what a fool, we did live together in the UK for a year so i though things were genuine.

Would you have bought her a house and a car if she had been white?

I didn't want to get into this discussion but never mind. Yes i bought a car, i was with her for over a year and things we fine so i didnt see a problem, the car was for us, as for the house i made a slight exageration. She already owned the house but i was paying the mortgage for nearly 2 years. A year while i was in the UK and while i was with her here in Thailand. Baring in mind i met her under what i consider normal circumstances in the UK, not the internet long distance, and that we were of similar age, i took the risk. Yes i have been fooled but it won't happen again.

As for being white. I left my ex-wife with a £250,000 house in Cheshire so you decide.

Edited October 10, 2007 by TommyGun

[mellow1]

I think it's great that you found such a nice girl. Everybody gets hurt and screwed over sometimes,except for some of the really smart guys, found on this forum. Anyways life goes on, and so should yours. You are in a unique position of having met and of entering into a relationship with what appears to be a nice girl whose family shows concern for her welfare.Obviously having her own marketing company she is smart educated, and has money. This should alleviate any fears of her using you for your money. This should prove to you that your good looks your great personality and charm is truly what she is after. After all, the reason you came to Thailand was to get away from all the girls back home that were after these same qualities. The great thing now is that you got a woman whom you don't need to buy a car for, she can take care of these things for herself. Should the relationship go further you can leave your assets in your country, get a pre-marital agreement protecting your assets there. Since you are not allowed to own a house in the LOS, your woman could buy it, and you could supply and pay daily living expenses with lots of Love thrown in.You should consider yourself lucky in being in this unique situation and take full advantage( in a positive way) of the tremendous good luck which fell upon you.

Best Wishes to You, but being careful won't hurt, of course if this doesn't go over to good you might want to look at the situation again.

[Momo8]

Good luck to you both she sounds like the real deal.

One question.Does the 'daddy's little girl' thing also involve 'no sex before marriage'? You spoke at length about her education but what about her 'past' as in bf? She sounds too good to be true.

Edited October 10, 2007 by Momo8

[TommyGun]

Good luck to you both she sounds like the real deal.

One question.Does the 'daddy's little girl' thing also involve 'no sex before marriage'? You spoke at length about her education but what about her 'past' as in bf? She sounds too good to be true.

Two years ago she was due to be married but her Thai B/F cheated on her, she hasn't been in a relationship since then. As for sex her father would like to think she hasn't.

It may sound to go to be true, but likewise Thai women think that it's to go to be true that a decent looking bloke doesn't drink alchohol or go to bars. That's not totally true but the last time i drank beer was 5 months ago.

[Momo8]

Tommy honey you go for it then.Sounds like you both met each other at the right time.

Not all girls are golddiggers the same as not all guys think they are.All the best and keep us posted.

[MrSquigle]

Is she cute ?

[Momo8]

What has that got to do with anything Squiggle? I'm sure she hasn't fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every stick coming down but if she's genuine and from a good family/good background/education who cares?Nice people are few and far in this world.Tommy is onto a good thing.

Edited October 10, 2007 by Momo8

[a2396]

Have you actually been to her house and met her parents? Possibly true, but I know teenagers (girls) who stay out till 2 or 3 AM at disco's or concerts & are more or less have free reign, as their counterparts in USA and these are NOT bargirls. I would be a bit turned off by some lady so tied to parents apron strings at age 30.

[meadish_sweetball]

As for the op - sounds not typical. However I suppose there are exceptions to every instance.

In my experience it is typical for educated families but perhaps not for the majority of Thais. Many of Tywais's colleagues probably apply similar rules for their daughters well up in their 20s to 30s. Men usually get more freedom.

[a2396]

I think it's great that you found such a nice girl. Everybody gets hurt and screwed over sometimes,except for some of the really smart guys, found on this forum. Anyways life goes on, and so should yours. You are in a unique position of having met and of entering into a relationship with what appears to be a nice girl whose family shows concern for her welfare.Obviously having her own marketing company she is smart educated, and has money. This should alleviate any fears of her using you for your money. This should prove to you that your good looks your great personality and charm is truly what she is after. After all, the reason you came to Thailand was to get away from all the girls back home that were after these same qualities. The great thing now is that you got a woman whom you don't need to buy a car for, she can take care of these things for herself. Should the relationship go further you can leave your assets in your country, get a pre-marital agreement protecting your assets there. Since you are not allowed to own a house in the LOS, your woman could buy it, and you could supply and pay daily living expenses with lots of Love thrown in.You should consider yourself lucky in being in this unique situation and take full advantage( in a positive way) of the tremendous good luck which fell upon you.

Best Wishes to You, but being careful won't hurt, of course if this doesn't go over to good you might want to look at the situation again.

His lady could buy the house? With whose money? Her money?? I would like to know if this idea holds up with her and her ever-loving parents and let's not forget sin sod. Sounds like he has a bit of further negotiation to be done.

[MrSquigle]

Would you buy and ugly car just cos it drove well ??

I think that in this day and age, if a girl, especially at 30, cannot do as she wishes and stay out a little late from time to time, then something is wrong somewhere.

Having said that, raising my daughter here might possible be a good thing. Keep her away from all those grubby hands till 30 plus will suit me just fine.

[fletchsmile]

Would you have bought her a house and a car if she had been white?

Bizarre post... ... Never in my life have I met someone in a relationship that has decided to buy a house or car for their partner based on skin colour. You're brown you can have a house. You're white you can't. You're black you can have a condo...

[AlexLah]

Hi OP,

Just curious OK?

What is it that you like about this girl?

Why do you wanna have a partner?

And to Bambi, yes better you not drive a car, ha ha ha just kidding.

Take care all!

Alie

[donna]

i have a dear friend who works in the medical profession. she speaks great english, is beautiful and loves to dance and have a great time. she is a party girl who would love to meet a nice farang bloke.

this girl is nearly 30 and still a virgin. she sometimes stays out late, but she always has her family calling her to see where she is.

she is a GOOD girl.

so, to the OP, i say go for it. she sounds like a decent girl whose family love her. you are right to keep your guard up a little, and i would say do this in any relationship, not just with a thai woman.

[Prakanong]

Would you have bought her a house and a car if she had been white?

Bizarre post... ... Never in my life have I met someone in a relationship that has decided to buy a house or car for their partner based on skin colour. You're brown you can have a house. You're white you can't. You're black you can have a condo...

No they do not buy based on skin colour.

Plenty men have bought large ticket items for Thai girls, including houses, after knowing them only for a short period and/or not very well.

The same guys would not have bought a girl in their home countries a large ticket item so soon no matter what colour they were, blue black or pink!

[elsie]

Not unusual to be Daddy's Little Girl at the age of 30. Damian is spot on. Besides, if she is still living under Daddy's roof, then he makes the rules.

I'm turning 34 soon enough. And whenever my Mum comes over at my apartment and I get back late, she always asks why I get home late and tell me I shouldn't stay out till late at night.

[eek]

I am 34 and yet, when my ex and I first broke up after a long term relationship and i went to stay with my aunt for a while (who is equivalent to my mother), there is no way she would be amused at my staying out all night whilst under her roof. I also, out of respect, wouldnt do this. I think if one is under their parents roof then certain traditions out of respect come into play. I dont think her curfew is abnormal, nor do i think it makes her a daddies girl. I think she just respects her parents. The only thing would be that if on occasion she did wish to stay out and it was refused etc (her rights/wishes being opposed) then thats different.

But, am i correct in that you say you have only really been getting to know her since august? 2 months is hardly a long time when it comes to dating someone from a more traditional background. When you mean stay out all night, do you mean you wish her to stay over? Or stay out late for clubs or? If she is working and staying at home, her being home at that time seems reasonable given the circumstances.

Also, you say your relationship is developing..but doesnt actually clarify that its developing in a bf/gf sense. I can only assume that you mean in this way (because otherwise it could be that you see it as something more ,and she sees it only as friendship..but ok..i doubt that from the sounds of it that it is just friendship esp seeing as you have met her partents etc.) But its possible that the 'curfew' is also a way that she is protecting HERSELF rather than her parents protecting her. As in, she wishes to gauge you..see if you are a good man..testing you out.

From the sounds of it she is a well travelled, educated young lady..thus seems to me the more appropriate question here is..what do you have to offer her and can she trust you?..rather than the other way around...

[a2396]

i have a dear friend who works in the medical profession. she speaks great english, is beautiful and loves to dance and have a great time. she is a party girl who would love to meet a nice farang bloke.

this girl is nearly 30 and still a virgin. she sometimes stays out late, but she always has her family calling her to see where she is.

she is a GOOD girl.

so, to the OP, i say go for it. she sounds like a decent girl whose family love her. you are right to keep your guard up a little, and i would say do this in any relationship, not just with a thai woman.

Why any attractive 30 year old woman is still a virgin by her own choice is beyond my comprehension. Would any of you gents choose to stay a virgin until you were 30 +, unless you were planning to enter the priesthood? My opinion of someone like this is that they have a problem relating to men, don't really like men and/or sex. I would definatlly want a reasonable time for a "test drive" before marrying someone with such a status.

[eek]

edit: (you will need to read my post end of page 2 for this comment to make sense. Just realised its gone to a new page )

Just dawned on me that she may not be at home with her parents, but still the curfew stands. But even so, again, as i said, this may be her way of protecting herself and testing you out. It easily can be a polite way of getting out of an awkward staying out late/staying over situation.

Edited October 10, 2007 by eek

[elsie]

Why any attractive 30 year old woman is still a virgin by her own choice is beyond my comprehension.

There is a whole world with different countries, different cultures/traditions beyond your borders, you know.

[eek]

Why any attractive 30 year old woman is still a virgin by her own choice is beyond my comprehension.

There is a whole world with different countries, different cultures/traditions beyond your borders, you know.

[AlexLah]

i have a dear friend who works in the medical profession. she speaks great english, is beautiful and loves to dance and have a great time. she is a party girl who would love to meet a nice farang bloke.

this girl is nearly 30 and still a virgin. she sometimes stays out late, but she always has her family calling her to see where she is.

she is a GOOD girl.

so, to the OP, i say go for it. she sounds like a decent girl whose family love her. you are right to keep your guard up a little, and i would say do this in any relationship, not just with a thai woman.

Could you introduce her to me please.

I am a very decent guy and also a virgin.

I have a good job, and based in Thailand.

I also like to party, he he

[CarlBkk]

Lived with a girl in the UK and then bought her a house and car? Sorry but that IS actually something that falls into the fool category. Don't mean to be harsh but uh, what do guys like you think when you are doing stuff like this? To me it's the same as suddenly deciding to walk across a busy Bangkok street with my eyes closed... I just wouldn't do it PERIOD. I guess some people just have too much money....

To answer your question, ya it happens, age doesn't seem to matter to some families here when it comes to protecting their daughters. Doesn't matter if she's 30, they will treat her like she's 14... be happy she is even allowed to see you, probably because SHE IS 30 and running out of time to find a husband. But make no mistake, it still doesn't mean anything, she could be a great person or she could be a hunter looking for a well to do husband to suck dry or at the least take care of her and her family for ever (whic still is horrible because at no time does LOVE actually come into the equation of your relationship). If you aren't smart enough to tell on your own we can't help you... so far you made some bad mistakes with the last one, try not to make the same mistakes. My advice is don't let money come into the picture AT ALL. Back when I was dating Thai women, the very FIRST TIME they asked for money for something I said goodbye. But I'm not old and fat so...... I can do that. No offence to you old and fat dudes.

This is kinda a "tough love" response, I'm not trying to be a jerk, just trying to help ya out buddy.

Damian Mavis

You speak a lot of sense without being patronising. The op (and plenty of others) should really take notice of this post.

[DamianMavis]

Lived with a girl in the UK and then bought her a house and car? Sorry but that IS actually something that falls into the fool category. Don't mean to be harsh but uh, what do guys like you think when you are doing stuff like this? To me it's the same as suddenly deciding to walk across a busy Bangkok street with my eyes closed... I just wouldn't do it PERIOD. I guess some people just have too much money....

To answer your question, ya it happens, age doesn't seem to matter to some families here when it comes to protecting their daughters. Doesn't matter if she's 30, they will treat her like she's 14... be happy she is even allowed to see you, probably because SHE IS 30 and running out of time to find a husband. But make no mistake, it still doesn't mean anything, she could be a great person or she could be a hunter looking for a well to do husband to suck dry or at the least take care of her and her family for ever (whic still is horrible because at no time does LOVE actually come into the equation of your relationship). If you aren't smart enough to tell on your own we can't help you... so far you made some bad mistakes with the last one, try not to make the same mistakes. My advice is don't let money come into the picture AT ALL. Back when I was dating Thai women, the very FIRST TIME they asked for money for something I said goodbye. But I'm not old and fat so...... I can do that. No offence to you old and fat dudes.

This is kinda a "tough love" response, I'm not trying to be a jerk, just trying to help ya out buddy.

Damian Mavis

You speak a lot of sense without being patronising. The op (and plenty of others) should really take notice of this post.

Gee thanks!

Damian Mavis

(thinks to self secretly: man I hope he was serious and not insulting me in a way I'm too stupid to figure out because then I would look even MORE stupid for thanking him for insulting me)

[DamianMavis]

Not unusual to be Daddy's Little Girl at the age of 30. Damian is spot on. Besides, if she is still living under Daddy's roof, then he makes the rules.

I'm turning 34 soon enough. And whenever my Mum comes over at my apartment and I get back late, she always asks why I get home late and tell me I shouldn't stay out till late at night.

Holy smokes I clicked to see you naked and got <deleted> off by a bloody elf! Talk about a jip.

Damian Mavis

[DamianMavis]

i have a dear friend who works in the medical profession. she speaks great english, is beautiful and loves to dance and have a great time. she is a party girl who would love to meet a nice farang bloke.

this girl is nearly 30 and still a virgin. she sometimes stays out late, but she always has her family calling her to see where she is.

she is a GOOD girl.

so, to the OP, i say go for it. she sounds like a decent girl whose family love her. you are right to keep your guard up a little, and i would say do this in any relationship, not just with a thai woman.

Why any attractive 30 year old woman is still a virgin by her own choice is beyond my comprehension. Would any of you gents choose to stay a virgin until you were 30 +, unless you were planning to enter the priesthood? My opinion of someone like this is that they have a problem relating to men, don't really like men and/or sex. I would definatlly want a reasonable time for a "test drive" before marrying someone with such a status.

They are out there in bigger numbers than you think. I dated two (although they were mid twenties not 30), one caved in to her desires after a couple of months and had a regular relationship with me for as long as that lasted and the other made me wait so long I told her the truth that I couldn't wait any longer and broke it off. My personal opinion is that it is unhealthy for adults to not be having a vibrant sex life with thier partner and to wait until mid twenties or 30's is unnatural but I do understand Thai culture and it's "good girl wife material" mind set so don't judge it too harshly.

Damian Mavis

[Suszzy]

As for the op - sounds not typical. However I suppose there are exceptions to every instance.

In my experience it is typical for educated families but perhaps not for the majority of Thais. Many of Tywais's colleagues probably apply similar rules for their daughters well up in their 20s to 30s. Men usually get more freedom.

yeap..agree with you that "men usually get more freedom"

my brothers always do what they want and can do no wrong in my parents eyes..!

for me..i had a taste of freedom when i came to study in England.

life..without my parents..well..let's say i've learned a lot. The world is a big place and life outside Thailand..humm..shall i say..absolutely fascinating.

[donna]

Could you introduce her to me please.

no.