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Love

Featured Replies

BOY : Since we met, I can't eat or drink...

GIRL : Why not ??

BOY : I'm broke.

BOY : I can't leave you..

GIRL : Do you love me so much??

BOY : It's not that. You're standing on my foot.

BOY : May I hold your hand??

GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away??

BOY : Were you away??

GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??

BOY : What time was it??

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest..

BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple..

CAROL : Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't speak for an hour..

PETER : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life...

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..

BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL : How soon??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??

TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

While making love:

BOY: Oh baby, I love you!

GIRL: Deeper, deeper!

BOY: (Lowering voice) Oh baby, I love you!

(OK that joke works better in person.)

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife

Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming

That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot

This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss

But I only slept with you coz I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other

that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you

but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace

but don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

d-a-m-n, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away

what have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell

except for maybe "Go to h-e-l-l."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Peter

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