Dear IRS:

Enclosed is my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see that the

Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers...and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.

I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2,400) and six hammers (value $1,029), bringing my total

remitted to $3,429.00.

Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as

noted on my return.

You can do this inexpensively by sending them one 1.5" Phillips Head screw after reading the enclosed

article from USA Today detailing how HUD pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screw.

A screw is enclosed for your convenience.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year,

and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,

A Satisfied Taxpayer

That reminds me of a guy who received a speeding ticket in the mail. With the ticket was a photo of him driving the car at the time the police clocked him being over the speed limit.

Being a bit of a smart alec, the guy nearly arranged $AUD135 on his kitchen table, took a photo of the money and posted the photo back to the Police traffic fines branch.

Not to be outdone, the Police then posted the guy a photo of some nice shiny handcuffs!

His bluff taken, the guy got the message and paid his fine in cash the same day.

True story from Peter.

Edit for typo.

true story, 2 women in North Carolina found out they could scam Uncle Sam with bogus shipping bills of hardware sent to the US troops in Iraq. After several successful invoices, they finally got busted for billing over $1 million for shipping two nuts (for bolts) over there.

true story, 2 women in North Carolina found out they could scam Uncle Sam with bogus shipping bills of hardware sent to the US troops in Iraq. After several successful invoices, they finally got busted for billing over $1 million for shipping two nuts (for bolts) over there.

Talking about nuts and bolts, that reminds me of the incident that took place at an asylum. One of the inmates came into the washingroom where he raped one of the girls working there, whereafter he escaped.

Nexr day, the headlines of the newspaper read:

"Nut screws washer and bolts!"

(Not being a part of the englishspeaking community, I don't know if this joke is well known – my apoligies if that is the case.)