She Says She Is Pregnant!

[Momo8]

'lastly , you have sex with gurls, things happen, not all good. good thing for him his maid cook sex partner has medical background........lol.'

Hey Blizzard mate what does that last sentence mean? Can you try to write legibly please?

[kat]

Kat, you misunderstood, my advice was based on the assumption that he was going to continue doing what he has been doing, which is telling girls straight right from the beginning that he just wants a sex partner. That is what so many people gave him crap for, he is totally straight and honest, but then lets them stick around for a year and develop real feelings for him. I'm telling him to not let these "sex friends" relationships go on too long. My experience is that feelings do get involved after a long time being intimate with the same person and it would be more humane to "break up" with the sex buddy hopefully before that happens.

Damian

Ok, then perhaps I did misunderstand, but that wasn't completely clear to me in the post to which I responded. I responded to that post based on what was there. However, I do agree with your statements above.

Crap he's been telling girls right from the beginning he just wants a sex partner!!! What drugs are you on Damian? If you did that would you really think any girl other than a pro would take him on? ' Hi I'm Onion I want you to be my sex buddy.I can't give you commitment,I'm seeing other girls too.'

Thing is why does he want MANY sex partners as opposed to a regular sex buddy? That's the impression I got anyway.

Doesn't take Einstein to figure out that girl was giving him a Thai 'yes I want to be your sex partner' when in fact she meant 'No I don't just want to be your sex buddy,I want to be your exclusive gf'.Most women who have physical contact with a guy get emotionally involved,that's a woman's pshyche.Men have a physical need women need an emotional attachment at some point.You would have to go looking for sex buddies in the bored married women league or hip young crowd as you said,but if you are not prepared to have some emotional attachment at some stage Onion is that a really satisfying situation for you?

You need to be really played by girls to learn the hard lessons in life.Some guys' egos I dunno,a legend in their own minds.

However, Momo's statement above in bold is also true, so Einstein, we've got a problem. I imagine this is even more compounded by cultural AND gender expectations in Thailand.

Right a bowl of rice is insufficient payment? Cripes how insulting to women, the minute a woman has sex she is owed some form of payment? Like a hooker? Im sure billions of women the world over would find philosophies like that extremely sexist and insulting. They cant have sex without immediately being classified as a prostitute unless it's their husbands?

Damian

Yep. Well, you know how I feel about this at length, DM.

The concept of a 'sex buddy' can't exist in Thailand,there are the very good traditional Thai girls or the pros or the poor girls who want a relationship.The hip young crowd maybe.......... maybe Onion should look towards the farang females for a sex buddy,both sides know where they stand.Then again a foreign girl would expect at least KFC or Maccas hehehe.

So Damian if you're so hot in bed as you so graphically described guess your partner is buying YOU the meals not the other way around.

The concept of a sex buddy in Thailand is gaining rapid ground in the form of "giks."

I emphasized your last comment in bold, well, just because.

*emphasis

Edited November 15, 2007 by kat

[Momo8]

Great post Kat! Though unclear as to what a 'gik' is.

Edited November 15, 2007 by Momo8

[kat]

It's the relatively new and hip Thai term for a sex buddy with no strings.

[katana]

[Momo8]

Thanks Kat a new word to add to my vocabulary......but does the concept of a 'sex buddy' actually work in Thailand? Here in HK it's a whole different game.

GIKS as in between Farang/Thai girls, Farang/farang,or the hip young Thai crowd? Ultimately though does this concept actually work and if so for how long? Do any TV members have GIKS? Would be an interesting read.

[t.s]

Thanks Kat a new word to add to my vocabulary......but does the concept of a 'sex buddy' actually work in Thailand? Here in HK it's a whole different game.

GIKS as in between Farang/Thai girls, Farang/farang,or the hip young Thai crowd? Ultimately though does this concept actually work and if so for how long? Do any TV members have GIKS? Would be an interesting read.

the idea of a gik, or gig is very common, though the term is growing old now, the fact that you see it here is a testament to that.

whether or not the concept works depends on the individuals involved. as with all things it could go either way.

it was origionally an exclusively thai thing, university students playing around, but those kids grew up got jobs and went out to play.

for fun, it is entirely possible, to have a long running gig, but peoples priorities change. i have some ex gigs that are still close friends, some just disappeared and some stormed off in anger.

just think "freinds with benefits" or "booty call" and it is not hard to comprehend.

[DamianMavis]

Long long ago in a galaxy far far away... I had giks. Its pretty common in the crowds I run in. Actually, its really entertaining to watch at the clubs, a Thai girl will be with one guy, then when he is not looking or goes to the toilet she quickly gets the number of the guy at the table next to her. When the previous guy gets back she is hugging him but making hand signals at the new guy over his shoulder meaning "dont worry about this guy, he's no one important" and hes signalling back with his fingers in the OK sign and smiling like a fool saying "its ok I dont mind!"

Momo... they should be buying me noodles dangit! But my girlfriend is pretty darn good herself so.... it evens out.

James is a clear thinker. Good on ya

Damian

[Momo8]

The 'friends with benefits' or fb is very popular here (not in my case) but amongst many expat women and expat men who are also married.Not affairs of the heart just satisfying a phisycal need between two consenting adults of similar socio-econic backgrounds who well want to bonk without the strings.

I think a sex buddy thing can't happen or continue unless both parties involved have the same backgrounds,meaning a rich Chinese guy with a young Chinese girl as a fb would never work out,he would set her up as his mistress.Uni students who fool around ultimately fall into boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.Then there are guys who are 'travelling businessmen' and have a regular sex buddy in HK.

What Onion needs to do is to find someone on his level not screw around with many girls as one night stands etc. How do you feel Onion if you sex buddies also have sex buddies?

[Andiamo]

Thanks Kat a new word to add to my vocabulary......but does the concept of a 'sex buddy' actually work in Thailand? Here in HK it's a whole different game.

GIKS as in between Farang/Thai girls, Farang/farang,or the hip young Thai crowd? Ultimately though does this concept actually work and if so for how long? Do any TV members have GIKS? Would be an interesting read.

hey Momo8,

Also chek out the recent post in the Ladies Forum which discusses Gigs/Giks in detail! http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=152391

Ciao

[Momo8]

Unreal thank you Andiamo will check it out.

Hey Damian if only you can see it in HK or in Shanghai! Exactly what you described and even have a few friends who do this....but they are not fishing for a regular sex buddy just fishing for guys who will take them out,pay for many dinners and drinks maybe a few bonks, then THEY give the heave ho to the poor sucker after a couple of months.

I wouldn't call a one night stand or even a couple of bonks a sex buddy hum.

[DamianMavis]

Ya I'd love to be single and explore Hong Kong culture with women like that.... sounds exciting.

Damian

[Theyreallrubbish]

I have a certain amount of sympathy for the OP as I have also had several Thai women try to get pregnant without my consent. But my sympathy is limited as I always use a condom because I'm not stupid enough to rely on the honesty of a woman to determine my sexual, financial and parental future.

I've lost count of the Thai girlfriends who've tried to get me aroused then climb on without a condom. ("It feels much better without condom." "I don't care, get off!")

I've had a Thai girlfriend who kept trying to break the condom with her fingernail. When I gave her the boot after a couple of incidents she turned up at my house with a bunch of papers for a house in the suburbs saying she'd sign the house over to me if I got her pregnant and that I'd never have to see her again.

I even had the older brother of one girlfriend call my girlfriend and tell her that they'd pay her 1 million Baht if she'd get herself pregnant by me then give the baby to them! (Apparantly one of their friends daughters had had a baby with a farang who had just released a pop album so they saw look kreung as a good business investment!)

I think there's a different attitude to pregnancy here due to the continued existence of the extended family which means single motherhood isn't as catastrophic for the woman as it is in the West.

So I have sympathy that he was decieved by a woman who got pregnant (although it seems it was probably just an emotional desperation play on her part) without his consent, but my sympathy is limited as he was an idiot to trust her in the first place.

[Momo8]

For all the monogomousers out there lol.Click on the image for the animated version.

Edited November 15, 2007 by Momo8

[Alf Witt]

A number of posters have raised the question "what did the girl see in this Onionman guy?".

A little research often helps explain such matters.

The following extracted snippets are from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/onion :

1) Onions were prescribed by doctors in the early 1500s to help with infertility in women

2) The onion is easily propagated.

3) Onions may be especially beneficial for women.

And a warning:

4) A way to avoid irritation is by not cutting off the root of the onion, ............or by doing it last !!!! Take care with the repeat visits, Onionman.

[Momo8]

Yes well,your pseudonym says it all Alf Witt!

Do agree with the repeat visits advice though.

Theyreallrubbish WOW what a stud I'm speechless.

Edited November 15, 2007 by Momo8

[blizzard]

dont thai gurls know that their chances of getting cervical cancer increases the more sex partners they have.

[Momo8]

Along with AIDS and prostitution that doesn't exist Blizzard.You're not an English teacher are you?

[JUDAS]

Along with AIDS and prostitution that doesn't exist Blizzard.You're not an English teacher are you?

[blizzard]

i know wot u meen momo.

one would tink reeding this forum that the worlds oldest profesion doesnt exist here on a grand scale.cnn and bbc just make it up to get ratings.

[Momo8]

'i know wot u meen momo.' Obviously not an English teacher.

Are you Alf Witt's brother maybe? lol TheyRealRubbish for sure.

Onion where are you? You owe me a bowl of noodles for the effort!

Edited November 15, 2007 by Momo8

[onionman]

Cut her loose, completely... you probably slept with her again didnt you? I know, I know... its tough not to. But get rid of her and tell her straight. She lied and betrayed and tricked you, and that can never be forgiven. Move on. Don't see girls for long extended times, its seems mean but give a time limit to yourself of like 2 months, then bye bye, trust me, you are being kinder by getting rid of them before they are too deeply attached. Another thing you might want to do is make sure you don't see them too often or too regular. If you just give them a booty call every once in a while they know where they stand and won't expect too much. Dont even answer phone calls in my opinion... do every thing from sms, they realise pretty quick the level of importantce they have to you and it will help protect their hearts. Sounds like an ahole? Well I think its better to not let them fall in love if you have no intention of giving them love back.

Damian

Maybe it sounds harsh when you put it so bluntly. But it's true. If you don't want a serious relationship, don't act like it is a serious relationship. Don't call all the time, don't see all the time. It defines the relationship in a very loud and clear way. The other party will not have the chance to get emotionally attatched. That is exactly what I try to do. Sometimes, I get emotionally attatched, in a detatched kind of way, and I don't follow that guideline. And that never has good results.

No, I'm sorry, but I don't think this is humane at all. You will be treating her like a piece of meat, with absolutely no explanation at all. This is fine for a one-night stand or a mutually-agreed upon gig, but the disappearance acts are harsh. You might as well go to prostitutes for that matter.

Yes, it has to be mutual with no deception. We all know what Onion thinks of deception.

How do you feel about your boobs by the way?

You keep giving these off the wall remarks which I am not sure how to take? My boobs? Fine, thanks, how are yours?

Personally, I am really very sorry to see how cold people are towards each other in this forum. And have seen it many, many times before. I maybe will never fully understand why people have to talk in such inhuman way to the OP. I keep asking myself, why it is so necessary for people inhere, to demean each other, especially the OP.

Maybe I am just not as clever as the attackers of the OP here, but I really feel sorry for the OP. According to his description, I cannot see, that the way he is treated by her, is fair. The case is simple: They made an agreement. She broke it, deceived him, took advantage of his belief in her, and (maybe) let him enslave, financially, by her. How on earth, can a man, who chooses to trust another human, be accused, doing so?

You have my full sympathy, Onionman. According to your description of the case, you did nothing wrong.

To the many posters here, who flame OP, I would like to request you to treat the Op as a human. Some - actually many - of the replies I read here, are really evil. And not necessary at all. Please be humans. And contructive in your approach. I would also like to urge the moderators in TV, internally, to discuss the policy again, about what is acceptable and not acceptable to write here. This post is a very good example, how a normal and very relevant problem, clearly posted by a well educated, rational, intelligent man, can be turned into something not very useful. Please reconsider the policy on this forum.

Thank you.

Thanks man. What happened to all the people fully cutting into me anyway?

[onionman]

I'd do what Damian suggested and cut off all contact with that poor girl as she still has feelings for you and if you are not prepared to get exclusively involved with her,forget it,being 'just friends' just wouldn't work out.Find yourself a <deleted> buddy.

I'll tell her I don't want to see her again. But I'll talk to her on the phone.

Find myself a f*** buddy? ... *zip*

Onion,if you want flings without attachments find someone who is on the same base as you are and wants the same thing ie. a sexual encounters without strings

I believe that's more or less what he thought he had, and what he thought she understood. He's learnt more about the socio-cultural nuances of communication and relationships now.

Yeah, that's right. That is what I had in the beginning with her. Slowly, it developed into more and got out of hand before I realized what I had gotten myself into. Jeeeeze. Gotta keep closer tabs on things.

Anyway Onion,just out of curiosity since you said you were dating 'other girls'......do they know about each other?Maybe personally because you hang around the same places or you've told all your 'girls' you are seeing someone else at the same time.....I mean they may gang up together on you then that would be another story!

I meet a girl at a bar, she comes home with me, after that, a few text msgs, and see eachother every week or two... I don't bother explaining, and she doesn't bother either. We both know what is happening.

But if she calls me a lot, I bring the whole thing up. She knows what is happening and she can choose to accept or decline.

Eitherway, if she asks me, I tell the truth.

Somtimes, like you said, there are a few girls I'm dating in the same club. I say hi to each one, say hi to some other people, and get the h*ll out of there.

Doesn't take Einstein to figure out that girl was giving him a Thai 'yes I want to be your sex partner' when in fact she meant 'No I don't just want to be your sex buddy,I want to be your exclusive gf'.Most women who have physical contact with a guy get emotionally involved,that's a woman's pshyche.Men have a physical need women need an emotional attachment at some point.You would have to go looking for sex buddies in the bored married women league or hip young crowd as you said,but if you are not prepared to have some emotional attachment at some stage Onion is that a really satisfying situation for you?

You need to be really played by girls to learn the hard lessons in life.Some guys' egos I dunno,a legend in their own minds.

I think first night, nobody is thinking about relationship. We'r drunk, let's go home and ****. When I say "let's go back to my place" both parties know what that means. She just met me an hour ago. She's not gonna assume this is her new bf. What do you think when, if you ever, go home with a guy the first night?

The next day onwards is when it is important for a guy who doesn't want a gf to make it clear, one way or another.

I am not closed to the idea of a real gf. When I meet a girl that makes me forget about the others, yeah, I'll do it. Actually met one a couple weeks ago. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I didn't want to see other girls. I didn't want to deal with this pregnancy thing. But I had to and it messed it all up. But I told her about the pregnant girl and I haven't seen her since. We've been talking, but I think she's hearing warning bells.

My ego? I don't sleep with different girls everynight because of my ego. Although, when I say it like that.... Anyway, I like sex. Actually I love it. I love it so much that I want to try many flavors (except the male or ladyboy flavor). I don't want the same thing everyday. I don't want to be in a serious relationship while thinking about other girls. Right now, the same girl everyday is boring, so I don't do that. I will change someday, I'm sure. But if I force myself into a relationship when I'm not ready, it wouldn't last long.

[onionman]

The concept of a 'sex buddy' can't exist in Thailand,there are the very good traditional Thai girls or the pros or the poor girls who want a relationship.The hip young crowd maybe.......... maybe Onion should look towards the farang females for a sex buddy,both sides know where they stand.Then again a foreign girl would expect at least KFC or Maccas hehehe.

White females? I forgot they came in that color. Although KFC is more expensive, I could expect 50/50 payment.

...The point that is pissing him off is simple - this woman has knowingly gotten pregnant to trap him. Cleaning, cooking, street food, paying her...or whatever else has been bantered about is totally immaterial.

Just out of interest, if she, or any other of your girlfriends, fell pregnant 'accidentally' by you and wanted to keep the baby, what would you do?

James, If she had the baby, I don't know. I would do something resposible. Either help raise the kid if I am even around, or give some money. She would probably send the kid away to Grandma and Grandpa. That seems pretty common. It also explains why they are so willing to get pregnant. Because they don't have to raise the kid.

a good thing for us to know would be where he gets his gurls from. if from the villages THEN everything BECUMS clear.

if he beds hi so and middle class chicks then he is a stud, some guys can get gurls no problemo(not always a good thing).

From the village? haha. I meet girls at clubs. Parents got money. Some got rich sucker boyfriends. Some got good jobs. Some are gold diggers.

'lastly , you have sex with gurls, things happen, not all good. good thing for him his maid cook sex partner has medical background........lol.'

Hey Blizzard mate what does that last sentence mean? Can you try to write legibly please?

No idea what that means. Haaha

How do you feel Onion if you sex buddies also have sex buddies?

That's ok. I prefer it. But I prefer to know about it right away. Some girls don't tell me, even though I am honest off the bat. For example one girl last month, she is a student, dated her for about 6 months. One day I saw her in Nana with huuuuge, fat, ugly mofo. Now she tells me it is her sugar daddy, he lives in some other country, sends her money, comes to town now and then and nails her. I was fully disgusted and haven't seen her since.

[onionman]

I have a certain amount of sympathy for the OP as I have also had several Thai women try to get pregnant without my consent. But my sympathy is limited as I always use a condom because I'm not stupid enough to rely on the honesty of a woman to determine my sexual, financial and parental future.

I've lost count of the Thai girlfriends who've tried to get me aroused then climb on without a condom. ("It feels much better without condom." "I don't care, get off!")

I've had a Thai girlfriend who kept trying to break the condom with her fingernail. When I gave her the boot after a couple of incidents she turned up at my house with a bunch of papers for a house in the suburbs saying she'd sign the house over to me if I got her pregnant and that I'd never have to see her again.

I even had the older brother of one girlfriend call my girlfriend and tell her that they'd pay her 1 million Baht if she'd get herself pregnant by me then give the baby to them! (Apparantly one of their friends daughters had had a baby with a farang who had just released a pop album so they saw look kreung as a good business investment!)

I think there's a different attitude to pregnancy here due to the continued existence of the extended family which means single motherhood isn't as catastrophic for the woman as it is in the West.

So I have sympathy that he was decieved by a woman who got pregnant (although it seems it was probably just an emotional desperation play on her part) without his consent, but my sympathy is limited as he was an idiot to trust her in the first place.

That's some bad luck man.

Is it really that stupid to trust someone?

'i know wot u meen momo.' Obviously not an English teacher.

Are you Alf Witt's brother maybe? lol TheyRealRubbish for sure.

Onion where are you? You owe me a bowl of noodles for the effort!

I'm here. A bowl of noodles? Hahaha. Sure, but you do realize what everyone would think if they saw u eating noodles w me.

[LaoPo]

Onionman:

Whatever they say about you, you're the Champ, writing 28/29 posts about your own life and a girl who is NOT pregnant.....in your OWN personal THREAD....well done !

10 pages down the road....keep 'em coming !

Just out of curiosity: Do you have any other interests, in life...... ? besides yourself of course....

LaoPo

[onionman]

Onionman:

Whatever they say about you, you're the Champ, writing 28/29 posts about your own life and a girl who is NOT pregnant.....in your OWN personal THREAD....well done !

10 pages down the road....keep 'em coming !

Just out of curiosity: Do you have any other interests, in life...... ? besides yourself of course....

LaoPo

30 posts so far, compared to your admirable 6,096. If I can even hope to achieve that level of greatness, whatever hobbies I do have, I might have to put on the back burner for a while.

[plachon]

Onionman:

Whatever they say about you, you're the Champ, writing 28/29 posts about your own life and a girl who is NOT pregnant.....in your OWN personal THREAD....well done !

10 pages down the road....keep 'em coming !

Just out of curiosity: Do you have any other interests, in life...... ? besides yourself of course....

LaoPo

30 posts so far, compared to your admirable 6,096. If I can even hope to achieve that level of greatness, whatever hobbies I do have, I might have to put on the back burner for a while.

Onionman.................you're a legend mate!

In your own shoes.

[blizzard]

ok you dont date the poor village rice harvesters.

but can you explain how hiso and chicks with sugar daddies enjoy street noodles.

[onionman]

ok you dont date the poor village rice harvesters.

but can you explain how hiso and chicks with sugar daddies enjoy street noodles.

Blizzard, hey man, you are fascinated by this noodle thing aren't you. hahaha. It's no secret, so I'd be happy to share it with you.

The first step to achieve this, and actually the only step, is to find a girl that likes you.

If a girl is with you because she likes you, she doesn't care what kind of food she eats. What she cares about is having a good time with the guy she is really into.

Now if a girl is only interested in digging your pockets, maybe she won't be happy with just noodles and hanging out.

Remember guys, normal dating is not about money. Don't let Bangkok make you forget that. A lot of you are calling me scum. Well, imagine going back to your home country with the mind set you've developed here. They would think YOU are far more scummier than I.