The Dance

[Neddy]

A construction worker had an unfortunate accident in which he lost an eye. Since he was only a construction worker, he couldn’t afford one of those realistic looking glass eyes to replace the one he had lost. The doctor told him that the best he could do for him was to give him a wood eye.

Since the poor guy had no choice, he reluctantly accepted the wood eye. He was very self conscious of his looks-especially with the members of the opposite sex. A good friend of his encouraged him to go out anyway, and try to meet a lady. He told him that there was a dance on Saturday night, and since it would be dark, no one could tell he had a wood eye. He finally agreed to give it a try. At the dance there were many ladies, but he was too self conscious to approach any of them. But his friend called his attention to a lady sitting on the other side of the dance floor who hadn’t been asked to dance all evening. His friend urged him to ask her to dance. “She hasn’t danced all night, he said, I bet she is dying to get out there on the dance floor.”

Finally the construction gave in, and crossed the dance floor to where the lady was sitting. But when he got close enough to her to ask her for a dance, he discovered to his dismay that the lady had a hair lip. It was too late for him to back out at that point, so he asked the lady, “Would you like to dance?” To which she replied, Would I!! Would I!! And he angrily retorted, Hair Lip!! Hair Lip!!

[Momo8]

Hahahaha good one.Reminds me of a true story in an Aussie pub (and this is not a joke,true story).

Dave was a digger with a glass eye.He scared off any potential women disturbing his beer by popping it out,dropping it in his schooner and saying "Love,I'm off to hang a piss,keep an eye on my eye"

[Pink Mist]

A construction worker had an unfortunate accident in which he lost an eye. Since he was only a construction worker, he couldn’t afford one of those realistic looking glass eyes to replace the one he had lost. The doctor told him that the best he could do for him was to give him a wood eye.

Since the poor guy had no choice, he reluctantly accepted the wood eye. He was very self conscious of his looks-especially with the members of the opposite sex. A good friend of his encouraged him to go out anyway, and try to meet a lady. He told him that there was a dance on Saturday night, and since it would be dark, no one could tell he had a wood eye. He finally agreed to give it a try. At the dance there were many ladies, but he was too self conscious to approach any of them. But his friend called his attention to a lady sitting on the other side of the dance floor who hadn’t been asked to dance all evening. His friend urged him to ask her to dance. “She hasn’t danced all night, he said, I bet she is dying to get out there on the dance floor.”

Finally the construction gave in, and crossed the dance floor to where the lady was sitting. But when he got close enough to her to ask her for a dance, he discovered to his dismay that the lady had a hair lip. It was too late for him to back out at that point, so he asked the lady, “Would you like to dance?” To which she replied, Would I!! Would I!! And he angrily retorted, Hair Lip!! Hair Lip!!

re-invented and cleaned up slightly, does anyone remember the original story?

[Momo8]

There's also the joke about the three eyes,armless and one legged hitch hiker.

Some guy stopped his car to pick him up,looked at him and said:

"Eye,eye,eye, you look armless,hop in."

Edited November 5, 2007 by Momo8

[brahmburgers]

I knew a quebec guy who was a real dandy with the ladies - he told me he got royally turned on by women with hairlips. true.

While were there, a famous Russian author (Tolstoy? Nobakov?) got particularly turned on to crossed eyed women.