Marriage Counselor For Thai-farang Couple?

[morning glory]

Does anyone know of a GOOD marriage counselor for thai/farang couples in Bangkok? I have a farang friend married to a thai woman. They've been together for 4 years and are having BIG problems. They're considering joint counseling but don't know of anyone to go to. Thanks sooooo much for your help!

[morning glory]

Awwww shucks, I thought there might be SOMEONE out there who could give me a suggestion! What the heck do mixed-culture couples DO when they have problems? Who do go they go to for help?? Or maybe marriage counseling doesn't exist in Thailand? Enlighten me, please!

[falong]

Awwww shucks, I thought there might be SOMEONE out there who could give me a suggestion! What the heck do mixed-culture couples DO when they have problems? Who do go they go to for help?? Or maybe marriage counseling doesn't exist in Thailand? Enlighten me, please!

Tell them to post their problem here and they will get all the advice they ever needed....and more

[ka12345]

Nana Entertainment Plaza marriage counseling clinic...

[Yohan]

Most replies to marriage problems you should find somewhere here on the Thavisa-Forum. Or why not to post their problems here in a new thread.

If you prefer to talk to somebody privately, then send me a PM.

Married for 28 years without problems, my wife and I are always ready to listen.

Every month somebody of our neighbourhood is showing up in tears, telling us their problems, from drunken wife to drug-abusing man, from wife-beating to money-stealing wife, from violent children to crazy parents-in-law.

Sometimes we can help, but it is difficult.....they might listen a while, and then doing just the opposite, we recommend them to do....

So, again, WHAT kind of BIG problems do they have?

[NedKelly]

Yohan

Sometimes we can help, but it is difficult.....they might listen a while, and then doing just the opposite, we recommend them to do....

Be careful of speaking to anyone who is not qualified to do counselling !! You may find yourself in bigger poo than when you started !!

(Have you ever heaqrd of reverse psychology Yohan ..hahahhaha !)

[IamMaiC]

Just a suggestion If really BIG problems like you say maybe time they went separate ways

[morning glory]

Thanks for your suggestions---

I don't think they want to give up yet, so I'll see of they want to try

Dr. Thaivisa.com

....and Nana Plaza is an option the Mrs. might not approve of...

[morning glory]

Yohan, thanks for the offer. It's basically a problem of communication in that when they argue/fight, the wife never wants to talk about it later, after things have cooled down--just wants to forget that anything happened, but then the pattern keeps repeating itself. I've heard this is often the way Thai women deal with arguments----yell, scream, swear, whatever, and then the next morning NO discussion! Everything back to normal..till the next argument. Have you heard of this with other couples?

[Khun Larry]

I think Stickman is doing counseling now.

Check his site

[falong]

Yohan, thanks for the offer. It's basically a problem of communication in that when they argue/fight, the wife never wants to talk about it later, after things have cooled down--just wants to forget that anything happened, but then the pattern keeps repeating itself. I've heard this is often the way Thai women deal with arguments----yell, scream, swear, whatever, and then the next morning NO discussion! Everything back to normal..till the next argument. Have you heard of this with other couples?

Is that guy marrried to my ex-wife?

[p_brownstone]

I think Stickman is doing counseling now.

Check his site

The mind boggles!

I'd rather have Bernard Trink teach me to Skydive.

[Ben Dover]

Sit in any bar in Pattaya for 20 minutes and you will be approached by a counselor, along with numerous lawyers and EX CIA Agents, probably ask to borrow 500 baht at the end of the evening.

[konangrit]

On a serious note now, as a European I think of counceling as a purely American thing. Are there any Europeans or Asians that have tried it? What did you think of it? Does it work? Also interested in the US point of view. As an Englishman it's normal to keep my emotions and problems to myself, the idea of sharing them with a total stranger are completely alien to me.

Doubt that I got this thread onto a serious subject, but I tried

[Up2U]

Yohan, thanks for the offer. It's basically a problem of communication in that when they argue/fight, the wife never wants to talk about it later, after things have cooled down--just wants to forget that anything happened, but then the pattern keeps repeating itself. I've heard this is often the way Thai women deal with arguments----yell, scream, swear, whatever, and then the next morning NO discussion! Everything back to normal..till the next argument. Have you heard of this with other couples?

This is the same with almost every farang / Thai marriage I know - where they live in Thailand.

If the couple live in UK / Oz / other farang hang-out, then the culture does rub off a little.

The wife can never stop talking about the row from last night - the week before - two months ago ...........

Neither way helps the couple - to open up with each other in a controlled environment takes a trained and skilled consellor. In my opinion many counsellors are not up to the required skill levels, solely because they do not have the personality to control the meeting without giving any sense of intruding on the couple. Not their fault - they are just round pegs in square holes.

[Yohan]

Yohan, thanks for the offer.  It's basically a problem of communication in that when they argue/fight, the wife never wants to talk about it later, after things have cooled down--just wants to forget that anything happened, but then the pattern keeps repeating itself.  I've heard this is often the way Thai women deal with arguments----yell, scream, swear, whatever, and then the next morning NO discussion!  Everything back to normal..till the next argument.  Have you heard of this with other couples?

We can talk about it, but better by email. If you want to help them and you think, you know them good enough, we can exchange our opinions about it, what might be best in their case.

I prefer not to do it here on this forum, as it will bring up only senseless comments by trolls and my opinion is not always, what others like to hear. Thank you!

[morning glory]

On a serious note now, as a European I think of counceling as a purely American thing. Are there any Europeans or Asians that have tried it? What did you think of it? Does it work? Also interested in the US point of view. As an Englishman it's normal to keep my emotions and problems to myself, the idea of sharing them with a total stranger are completely alien to me.

Doubt that I got this thread onto a serious subject, but I tried

As you may have guessed, Konangrit, I'm American, but I didn't realize that Europeans don't often use counseling/therapy services . It used to be that one would never admit to being in therapy in the USA, but now I understand it's rather trendy and often the topic of conversation ("So--who's YOUR therapist?") I've been away for 5 years so I've missed out on this rather nauseating evolution (devolution?)

Actually, I DO think counseling/therapy can work--but not necessarily for everybody every time. And certainly someone who has been taught to keep emotions inside would find it difficult (and maybe irrelevant?) to try therapy (problem? what problem? ) So the probability of therapy working for this couple is rather low, as one-half of the couple is Thai (the ultimate holding-in-of-feelings culture.... mai pen rai na ka), though she did say she would try....

[morning glory]

Yohan, thanks for the offer.  It's basically a problem of communication in that when they argue/fight, the wife never wants to talk about it later, after things have cooled down--just wants to forget that anything happened, but then the pattern keeps repeating itself.  I've heard this is often the way Thai women deal with arguments----yell, scream, swear, whatever, and then the next morning NO discussion!  Everything back to normal..till the next argument.  Have you heard of this with other couples?

We can talk about it, but better by email. If you want to help them and you think, you know them good enough, we can exchange our opinions about it, what might be best in their case.

I prefer not to do it here on this forum, as it will bring up only senseless comments by trolls and my opinion is not always, what others like to hear. Thank you!

Yohan, you have a good point about whether or not I know this couple well enough to continue a discussion on email, and I do appreciate your kind offer. However, with a few other details that I've just found out I can see that there's a lot I don't know.,,,the relationship is very complex (what relationship isn't??) I'm beginning to think that I had better back away from this situation---looks like it's nosediving pretty quickly!

[IamMaiC]

On a serious note now, as a European I think of counceling as a purely American thing. Are there any Europeans or Asians that have tried it? What did you think of it? Does it work? Also interested in the US point of view. As an Englishman it's normal to keep my emotions and problems to myself, the idea of sharing them with a total stranger are completely alien to me.

Doubt that I got this thread onto a serious subject, but I tried

As you may have guessed, Konangrit, I'm American, but I didn't realize that Europeans don't often use counseling/therapy services . It used to be that one would never admit to being in therapy in the USA, but now I understand it's rather trendy and often the topic of conversation ("So--who's YOUR therapist?") I've been away for 5 years so I've missed out on this rather nauseating evolution (devolution?)

Actually, I DO think counseling/therapy can work--but not necessarily for everybody every time. And certainly someone who has been taught to keep emotions inside would find it difficult (and maybe irrelevant?) to try therapy (problem? what problem? ) So the probability of therapy working for this couple is rather low, as one-half of the couple is Thai (the ultimate holding-in-of-feelings culture.... mai pen rai na ka), though she did say she would try....

Whoa Mr Morning Glory I'm american also and I don't have a therapist!! Maybe trendy for the group your in

[Up2U]

On a serious note now, as a European I think of counceling as a purely American thing. Are there any Europeans or Asians that have tried it? What did you think of it? Does it work? Also interested in the US point of view. As an Englishman it's normal to keep my emotions and problems to myself, the idea of sharing them with a total stranger are completely alien to me.

Doubt that I got this thread onto a serious subject, but I tried

As a Brit I had never thought of it. But my second wife got pissed-off with me working abroad all the time, while she was studying / working in UK. She is Polish.

So we went to a marriage-guidance councellor and I found I was saying a lot of things that I would never have said to her at home, and listening to a lot of things from her that would not have been said if there had only been the two of us. It was very instructive and I think it could be a very useful tool in keeping people together - provided the counsellor is properly trained and good at the job.

It worked with us to an extent. When the divorce came it was quite amicable, especially when comparing it to the first divorce, which was a bloodbath. (My blood )

[Yohan]

Actually, I DO think counseling/therapy can work--but not necessarily for everybody every time.  And certainly someone who has been taught to keep emotions inside would find it difficult (and maybe irrelevant?) to try therapy (problem?  what problem?  )  So the probability of therapy working for this couple is rather low, as one-half of the couple is Thai (the ultimate holding-in-of-feelings culture.... mai pen rai na ka), though she did say she would try....

Counseling should work, if both man and wife are willing to listen carefully to somebody else they both trust.

The question is, if BOTH of them agree, to listen to other people, who are not directly related to their problems (relatives, business-friends...).

Also if they are willing to answer very private questions about their life to an outsider. However many such concerned people understand, that single-sided opinions only from family members are not always the best.

I would say, it is always helpful, to hear another person's opinion about the own private problems.....

I do not think, the probability to be successful in your mentioned case is low, only out of the fact, that one is Thai and the other is Farang.

Should this be true, than all relationships with foreign partners should be generally more unhappy than with a local partner....

You mentioned that this couple, you refer, have BIG problems, are married 4 years, and that BIG problem is, that the wife is hysterically quarrelling, but next day she will not continue to argue about the subject of yesterday....

Comparing to other people, who asked me for my opinion during the last years about their situation, I can tell you, that such BIG problems this couple has, are the small ones. It might be a BIG problem for them NOW, but for sure not in the future.

Anyway, if interested to continue, please by PM as there are too many trolls around.

[wamberal]

One obvious question is, what causes the nightly arguments. Does one or both of them drink too much?

If drink is part of the problem, then maybe they should at least try to have a couple of AFD (alcohol free days) per week -- good for the health, and good for the relationship.

Or is it about money?

One tactic would be to try to talk about contentious issues "the next day" instead of at night.

If the farang part of the relationship is a Christian, it would be worth approaching one of the English-speaking churches, they might be able to help, at least they should be able to make a recommendation on finding a counsellor.

[kwiz117]

Why not try Sunbelt..? They are the best..