What Do I Do

[BanTamo]

People in situations like this one are killed all the time (as any cop knows). For a small fee judges can (and do) 'pierce the corporate veil' and divest foreign-controled Thai corporations of land, especially if, for example, any property tax is even minimally delinquent, so you are in no worse shape for your so-called foolishness. Only you will decide where your values lie, and the 'ngun duan' (pension check) arrives at the weekend so I'd bet you'll do so by Monday. Here's hoping whatever choices you make sit well with you later in life (when you'll not have the ability to undo them). I know of at least one 'old Thai hand' who could not abide the way he had acted when he was at the same crossroads at which you now find yourself and he went to his maker in a bad way. His kids, whom he had kidnapped from their Isaan mother (while supposedly taking them out for a lunch of 'gai yang' in Ubon) and spirited away to his western country of origin, had very little to guide them when he met his untimely demise. And the mother, never really stable anyway, lost what little sanity she'd had as a result of the kidnapping. Tragedy all around. Jai yen yen! I for one hope you give a thought to the laws of karma, not just the legal system. I navigated a similar situation eight years ago. I was devastated and sometimes I'm still haunted by what transpired. But my daughter is now nine and she's a lovely girl. Young and helpless as she may have been when it all went down it was she who pulled me through it all, and she most likely knows it. Good luck mac.

[Sir Burr]

Why oh why put acquisitions into an other person's name? another lesson learned the hard way. It's the last time he's gonna do that.

Noobs make sure to read this thread.

If he lived in Bangkok, Phuket, or, Pattaya I would agree.

But, what would be the point in having the house in your own name if it is in the wife's village? How could you sell it? Who would buy it? Would you still want to live there after the divorce?

Personally, I would never live in the wife's village for this very reason.

[stateman]

Could it be she is suffering from a post-natal depression (maybe without realizing it) ?

LaoPo

I watched a full TV program on this subj. It is very real and happens to more post-natal women than people realized. Interesting suggestion.

OP can google for this term "post-natal depression".

[zorro1]

Mac,

PM me if you'll consider it, and I'll make arrangements.....Oh and of course the good looking sister will be by from time to time

Let me know,

Watch your back,

Eric

what a bloody great offer and remember from your own admission its been 12 months. Where was this guy when I split with my ex?

[thedi]

It is really great how many advises are given Macb in this thread:

• Take the daughter and leave the miserable woman as long as you still can - death for you is on its way.
  
• Take a lawyer and fight for your rights.
  
• Leave her the house, gold, car and the baby and start again from scratch - just you count!
  
• Only the baby counts! Try to talk to your wife and to find a reasonable solution for all of you.
  
• Run for your live now.
  
• ...
  

Actually non of us consultants know Macb or Bee.

Macb: you mentioned in one post jokingly, that you may write a book about this experience.

I certainly would be one of the buyers of this book.

As of now, I admit that I do not know enough about you or your wife, to add any more good intended advise. All I can do is, to wish you good luck.

Regards

Thedi

[Gary A]

The thing that is worse than putting the house in your wife's name is spending a lot of money on a crooked lawyer trying to protect something that you can NEVER own even with a bogus company. Even if you could legally own it through a Thai company there is no way you would want to live there after the marriage went bad. I have bought my wife two ten rai farms and two village lots for her future. This was because I do love her and if things were to go bad, I don't want to think about her being broke with no future. If she no longer wants to put up with me it will be a clean break and I want nothing from her.

[StinkyMudFish]

Wait a minute am i missing something here. The minute a KNIFE was shown to your daughter you should have packed your bags, your daughter's aswell and left. Now you are showing weakness by staying. This was a threat to your daughters life MAN the only question now is why are you STILL hanging around. ....GO NOW and get yourself and more importantly YOUR DAUGHTER BACK INTO A SAFE ENVIRONMENT. You do not want or need to be around a wife that is unstable mentally or otherwise. You are an ex-policeman right? If you were back in UK and someone would have shown a little girl a knife in a threatening manner that child would have been removed immediately and placed in safe care of social services. What are you waiting for ...something bad to happen and a life of regret afterwards. Time for a wake up call mate!! This is not a case of sitting around the house or upstairs thinking "what do I do" you should know what to do for that childs safety.

Edited November 27, 2007 by StinkyMudFish

[macb]

It is really great how many advises are given Macb in this thread:

• Take the daughter and leave the miserable woman as long as you still can - death for you is on its way.
  
• Take a lawyer and fight for your rights.
  
• Leave her the house, gold, car and the baby and start again from scratch - just you count!
  
• Only the baby counts! Try to talk to your wife and to find a reasonable solution for all of you.
  
• Run for your live now.
  
• ...
  

Actually non of us consultants know Macb or Bee.

Macb: you mentioned in one post jokingly, that you may write a book about this experience.

I certainly would be one of the buyers of this book.

As of now, I admit that I do not know enough about you or your wife, to add any more good intended advise. All I can do is, to wish you good luck.

Regards

Thedi

Wait a minute am i missing something here. The minute a KNIFE was shown to your daughter you should have packed your bags, your daughter's aswell and left. Now you are showing weakness by staying. This was a threat to your daughters life MAN the only question now is why are you STILL hanging around. ....GO NOW and get yourself and more importantly YOUR DAUGHTER BACK INTO A SAFE ENVIRONMENT. You do not want or need to be around a wife that is unstable mentally or otherwise. You are an ex-policeman right? If you were back in UK and someone would have shown a little girl a knife in a threatening manner that child would have been removed immediately and placed in safe care of social services. What are you waiting for ...something bad to happen and a life of regret afterwards. Time for a wake up call mate!! This is not a case of sitting around the house or upstairs thinking "what do I do" you should know what to do for that childs safety.

Tedi thanks for your input anyway very supportive as for a Novel I am serious when I get sorted :

Stinkymudfish : This matter is in hand :

Up=date today :

Wife goes to mothers as I said earlier returns saying there are puppies for sale in the village you want one mmmmmmmmm REsponse why do I want a puppy when you or I will not be here:

Then the further conversation of you go and leave daughter or I go with daughter stating you said you wanted to work so go work find another rich Farang : Then tears then laughing at the TV programme : I pointed out we should remain friends for daughters sake but not under the same roof she said stay together for her sake, I said thats not good enough I don't think you ever had me in your heart from the start there was no response

Next stage will follow

Edited November 27, 2007 by macb

[Iambabababor]

It sounds as if Bee is trying to improve things but you are being stubborn.

Forget the knife incident - this is very much a Thai thing .It is mainly for show.

You say you have had no affection or anything for the past year. OK, but have you given Bee any affection? She was pregnant for 9 months and for the past 8 months has had to look after baby, breast feeding etc All women get tired. Some get depressed.You have been great helping out with the washing etc. But have you once put your arm round Bee? - snuggled up to her and kissed her affectionately? Bought her some flowers or a little gift? Given her breakfast in bed? Maybe not. Why not? Bet you were different when you first met her! Show her you still care and maybe she will show you some affection too.

Do you really want to throw everything away? All couples have problems and most can be resolved. I suspect yours can too

From your latest remarks re the puppies and staying for daughters sake, I detect a softening. Don't ignore it Mac. Leap in -give it one more chance. Act immediately. Take her out tomorrow evening (let family take care of baby). Tomorrow - not next week. Go and have a nice meal in Buriram and a few drinks together. Speak softly, kindly and see what happens. Away from home and the rest of the family will help enormously. If all goes well, have a few more drinks and stay overnight. Who knows how things will turn out.

Goos luck mate

[leisurely]

For what it's worth, I think you have to decide if you love your wife or not. If you can live without her. Go. You did mention some time ago that your daughter had a British passport. Take her to the Uk for Christmas and reasses the situation in the newyear. Get her out of an atmosphere of hostility as soon as possible.

Pumpuiman, you should be shot. tempting him with a woman who may not even want him. Women are not commodoties

[farangconnection]

Well, as most of you know, myself and Mrs Lampshade split up just before my last Thai Visa party. Last Sunday ( which was our ten year wedding anniversary) all hel_l broke loose. Although she lives now with her childhood sweetheart, she is insanely jealous of me having a few girlfriends. It ended up with a punch-up in the pub, all because I ordered a meal for my new girl. Now as most of you know of the first ultra safe marriage whichhit the headlines in Surin recently (mine and mac's being the second and third) I honestly don't know what is going on. Six months ago I would have said it was impossible for us to go our seperate ways, but then who knows a womans mind. I for one thought my marriage was the safest in the World, I have never loved anyone so much, and I doubt if I ever will. I just phoned Mac, as I hadn't been on the forum for a while ( bloody arcade)and suggested he come and live with me. We could start a new Farang Connection, and after six months if it's any good we could open the doors to customers.

By the way though, if anyone is wondering, the FC is operating as usual.

[MrSquigle]

FC, surprising as I believe you guys ran a good business etc together and as you said, 6 months ago who would have thought.

Interested to know what brought it on ?

I am also 10 years into it and although my first one, back in Oz, finished right around the 7 year itch term, I would be hoping this one does not and I like you am thinking that it will never.

[kayo]

Mac, just wanted to wish you strength in your time of trouble.

Regards,

Kayo.

[fruity]

It sounds as if Bee is trying to improve things but you are being stubborn.

Forget the knife incident - this is very much a Thai thing .It is mainly for show.

Agreed, this has happened to me in years gone by. Surely, the pulling of the knife was the result of a long build up & like we have all done at some point in our lives; she snapped!

You say you have had no affection or anything for the past year. OK, but have you given Bee any affection? She was pregnant for 9 months and for the past 8 months has had to look after baby, breast feeding etc All women get tired. Some get depressed.You have been great helping out with the washing etc. But have you once put your arm round Bee? - snuggled up to her and kissed her affectionately? Bought her some flowers or a little gift? Given her breakfast in bed? Maybe not. Why not? Bet you were different when you first met her! Show her you still care and maybe she will show you some affection too

Do you really want to throw everything away? All couples have problems and most can be resolved. I suspect yours can too

From your latest remarks re the puppies and staying for daughters sake, I detect a softening. Don't ignore it Mac. Leap in -give it one more chance. Act immediately. Take her out tomorrow evening (let family take care of baby). Tomorrow - not next week. Go and have a nice meal in Buriram and a few drinks together. Speak softly, kindly and see what happens. Away from home and the rest of the family will help enormously. If all goes well, have a few more drinks and stay overnight. Who knows how things will turn out.

I think this good advice Mac, it is your call. Is it worth another shot? Do you really want to 'start again' @ 58 years old? Sometimes, better the devil you know blah blah......As has been said in earlier posts, the only way to resolve your situation is by sitting down & talking this through with your missus.

At the end of the day, it is your life, forget the fact that you have aired this situation on TVisa, this should have no bearing on the outcome & there is no one here that would think any worse of you, if you decided to give things another shot.

Goos luck mate

[mrbojangles]

Mac & Farang Connection,

Not been in this forum for a month or so and was absolutely shocked to read you have both had problems. Here's just wishing you All the very best and do what is right for you. Good luck to you both

[undercover]

it does sound like there may be a thai man about as its a classic scenario when the wife dosent want the 50-50 baby

////////////////

don't overlook this comment.

[Talisman]

Hi Mac.

I don't post on here often, but you have always struck me as a really sound guy! Your mates have given you a lot of advice, though much of it is conflicting!

I wish you could see your present situation from a different vantage point: that of two years down the line!

The worst vice is advice, but here is a purely objective and realistic appraisal based just on the facts which you have provided!

You have been milked to such a point, that all the big ticket items having now been provided: all that is now left is the daily drip feed!

You are in a settled domestic situation: you like settled domestic situations, and however bad this particular one is (very bad indeed) you find it hard to just cut and run!

The relationship may have seemed comfortable, or even just acceptable until recently when in a honest moment the shtf: most people can see how bad the situation is: but you are still waiting to see how things pan out! Paralysis by Analysis!

Mac you deserve better in life: your present situation is the pit's, and like many posters I am concerned for your physical and emotional well being!

My advice:

Bail out, and do it as quickly and quitely as possible!

Stay with some mates (no forwarding address) and if you must communicate, do so by telephone!

Then with the luxury of time and distance: decide where if anywhere, all this is going!

Your a nice guy Mac: with what you put into a relationship (not refering to ott financial support) there are thousands of ladies within even a few hundred clicks, that would worship the ground that you walk upon! Hope that you walk out of this train crash of a relationship in one piece, and find a girl who will care for you properly!

Good luck with whatever you decide Mac, and don't let the bastards grind you down.

[StinkyMudFish]

Wake Up Call !!! Read the following if you doubt what a Thai wife and greedy family can do to us farangs for money........

Brit Barbecued by Thai Wife

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brit killed and barbecued after split from Thai bride

By TOM KELLY & ANDREW DRUMMOND,

Daily Mail (UK) 16:24pm 1st August 2006

A former public schoolboy was barbecued by his Thai wife after divorcing her when she ran up massive gambling debts, a court has heard.

Toby Charnaud, 41, was clubbed to death with an iron bar and wooden staves by relatives of his ex-wife, Pannada Laoruang.

She then helped them burn his body on a charcoal fire, before chopping it up and scattering the charred remains around Kaeng Krajan National Park on the Thai-Burma border.

Yesterday a Thai court heard how Mr Charnaud, who was educated at Marlborough College, sold his farm near Chippenham, in Wiltshire, after meeting 35-year-old Laoruang in a Bangkok bar while on holiday.

After marrying, they lived with his parents in England before settling in the resort of Hua Hin, where he bought two bars and became a popular figure in the local golf club.

They had a baby but their relationship collapsed after Laoruang accumulated debts of £50,000 in high stakes card games.

Mr Charnaud divorced his wife, giving her a £11,000 settlement, plus another £6,100 to help pay off her debts.

But when he visited her home after she called him to see their five-year-old son, Daniel, last March, three men attempted to shoot him with a hunting musket. When the weapon backfired, they beat him to death.

Miss Laoruang later reported her husband missing to police, but in court yesterday she admitted it had been a lie, and she had in fact returned home from the market to find his body.

The murder was only discovered when Mr Charnaud's family in Britain became suspicious about his sudden disappearance and hired a local private detective to investigate.

After mobile phone records showed he had been at his ex-wife's house on the day he vanished, police raided the home where two of the defendants confessed and led police to the body parts.

The Charnaud's family lawyer, Boonchu Yensabai, who is jointly prosecuting the defendants, told Petchaburi Provincial Court: 'The only motive can be that Pannada expected to inherit everything through their son.'

In a letter to the court, Mr Charnaud's 70-year-old mother, Sarah, said: 'We welcomed Toby's ex-wife into our home and family until they moved to Thailand. To repay us by murdering my son is beyond my comprehension.

'One of the worst horrors of his death is the fact that the first attempt to kill him failed and he would have been aware of his murderers making their fatal attack. His fear and concern for his son would have been overwhelming.

'Toby was a wonderful father to his son and it is so unfair that a small boy has been deprived of a great father and a father has been deprived of seeing his son grow up.'

Bizarrely, Mr Charnaud appeared to predict his own death in a short story which won first prize in a competition run by a Bangkok magazine shortly before he died.

It told how a British man's life collapses after he falls in love with a Thai woman.

She stays out all night and builds up gambling debts, and he is eventually murdered by his best Thai friend, whm he does not know is one of his wife's lovers.

Mr Charnaud's sister, Hannah Allen, said: 'The story is eerie. I am sure he had his suspicions.

'It is difficult to come to terms with the fact that this woman was behind the murder of the father of her child.'

Pannada Laoruang denies premeditated murder.

Boontin Puipong, 31, Sattri Sripatum, 28, Nipit Satabut, have admitted murder, but say they were provoked because Mr Charnaud interrupted them while they were drinking whisky.

All four also face charges of possessing a gun in a public place, deceiving police, and concealing the body.

The case was adjourned until next month.

Edited November 27, 2007 by StinkyMudFish

[mangkorn]

It has been made patently clear that the marriage was a financial arrangement from the start. You pay lots of money, and get a pretty girl less than half your age, and less than half your weight. It happens all the time. The strange thing is the original comment about not feeling "loved." Whence that delusion in the first place? She was "in love?"

[zorro1]

It has been made patently clear that the marriage was a financial arrangement from the start. You pay lots of money, and get a pretty girl less than half your age, and less than half your weight. It happens all the time. The strange thing is the original comment about not feeling "loved." Whence that delusion in the first place? She was "in love?"

Possibly the most sensible analogy of the whole farang/thai connection. Lets use reverse thinking and just imagine that you are a strapping fit 30 year old farm boy in the best physical condition of your life. You spend most of the time chasing the farmers daughters who are fit and hot! and along comes mrs farang lady 60, fat, saggy tits,a belly and her legs covered in varicose veins the size of boot laces. You are desperate and go along for the ride and the cash flows but dam_n, those farmers daughters....most of us refuse to believe that an attractive thai girl is no different to any western girl and want their version of a Brad Pitt look a like if they can get it. tell any thai girl you have no money and 9 out of ten will walk away. As Tina Turner said "whats love got to do with it?"my ex girlfriend summed it up very well when after another wild brawl I said why dont you <deleted> off and find a rich farang your own age (28). she said "I look but can not find"

[macb]

WEll I have read the latest threads :

Yes there are many conflicting comments (But I thank everyone for the threads etc)

Okay flowers meals and all that stuff ; When I first met Bee i bought her all the roses this old lady was holding we went to my Hotel room, but being a gentleman and not a sex machine or body abuser I showed respect and we did not boom boom for 6 days: But when she left my Hotel the 1 st night she never took the Roses: But her mama San said to me why you not boom boom does that tell you something I was blind :

I am a gentle loving person there has always been the meals gold Diamonds : When she came out of hospital with the baby she said to me I love my baby buy I don't love you I just went with the flow, she let her body go to 80 kilo, but I put my arms round her in the kitchen one day and she pushed me away:

So does that tell you anything, I look after 13 members in the family nearby and pay electric for three houses sometimes four why because I hace a good heart: What do I get back nothing

I been looking for love and the right situation all my life but have always been good I know that: In a year other Farangs would have gone by now or gone short time I did not, I had a UK marriage and never had sex for 3 years because I stuck at it then it ended :

So now you decide if I am a good guy or not :

I honestly have done everything for my wife and her family and tried my best but I know as I get older I will not be looked after : I shaved my beard off once but said nothing the fact that it was gone was not even noticed I know that is a menial thing to say :

Now add your comments folks

BUT AGAIN I AM VERY GRATEFUL TO ALL YOU GUYS FOR THE SUPPORT EVEN THOUGH SOME IS CONFLICTING AND CONFUSING

[macb]

It has been made patently clear that the marriage was a financial arrangement from the start. You pay lots of money, and get a pretty girl less than half your age, and less than half your weight. It happens all the time. The strange thing is the original comment about not feeling "loved." Whence that delusion in the first place? She was "in love?"

I think my answer would be grateful but not in love now at I look at everything

[LaoPo]

Macb:

Why and what are you waiting for to leave the house, with your little girl ? Is it answers from the lawyers ? That could take a while.

You've had many offers of very nice people to stay with; why don't you pack and leave ?

LaoPo

[Dave the Dude]

I honestly have done everything for my wife and her family and tried my best but I know as I get older I will not be looked after : I shaved my beard off once but said nothing the fact that it was gone was not even noticed I know that is a menial thing to say :

Now add your comments folks

Mac

This one statement from you says it all, in my humble opinion. In the words of the Stranglers = Somethings gotta change.

I told my wife from day one that I'm not a rich clever ferang (true BTW) but I will not buy what I can't afford. I cannot and will not be able to provide for the whole village but CAN in time build a nice home and small shop for us to (hopefuly) live a comfortable life here. The wife is VERY busy running the business and its given her 'mountains' of self-respect and respect in the village. As mentioned by a previous poster, I also have learnt the hard way(Divorce) to show more affection now, even though it is not that natural for me (must be that d@mn British upbringing in Sawf London)

I too, do a bit of the Laundry (on the quite) but also play the 'boss man' role a bit.

Take up Lampshades offer, it would do you both good and give you time to carefuly consider the way forward.

Kind regard

Dave

Edited November 28, 2007 by Dave the Dude

[macb]

it does sound like there may be a thai man about as its a classic scenario when the wife dosent want the 50-50 baby

////////////////

don't overlook this comment.

Well if there is a Thai man I don't know when she sees him we been together 24/7 although I don't like her so called step-brother but then I told her that : When I first met her sisters etc one of the brother-in-laws said to me pay (Step Brother) 2000 bht per month he will stay village and protect Bee I thought this strange, he said he had boxed her first Thai husband but when put to the Wife she said he had not anyway I notice all sorts of things and remember them

[macb]

I honestly have done everything for my wife and her family and tried my best but I know as I get older I will not be looked after : I shaved my beard off once but said nothing the fact that it was gone was not even noticed I know that is a menial thing to say :

Now add your comments folks

Mac

This one statement from you says it all, in my humble opinion. In the words of the Stranglers = Somethings gotta change.

I told my wife from day one that I'm not a rich clever ferang (true BTW) but I will not buy what I can't afford. I cannot and will not be able to provide for the whole village but CAN in time build a nice home and small shop for us to (hopefuly) live a comfortable life here. The wife is VERY busy running the business and its given her 'mountains' of self-respect and respect in the village. As mentioned by a previous poster, I also have learnt the hard way(Divorce) to show more affection now, even though it is not that natural for me (must be that d@mn British upbringing in Sawf London)

I too, do a bit of the Laundry (on the quite) but also play the 'boss man' role a bit.

Take up Lampshades offer, it would do you both good and give you time to carefully consider the way forward.

Kind regard

Dave

That is something that I am considering seriously bless his heart:

I am trying to sort this amicably with out the big guns :

Its easy to say grab your daughter and go but we are not all made up of the same demeanour 10 month old that is not weaned, the taking versus the family in the villager well some of them and a baby does not sit still in a seat belt these are not excuses there facts: How the watsit can I impose myself and my daughter into a family situation that she nor me know thats just ttaking the p.... I got to try sort this I know the outcome will be it all ends

Edited November 28, 2007 by macb

[macb]

I honestly have done everything for my wife and her family and tried my best but I know as I get older I will not be looked after : I shaved my beard off once but said nothing the fact that it was gone was not even noticed I know that is a menial thing to say :

Now add your comments folks

Mac

This one statement from you says it all, in my humble opinion. In the words of the Stranglers = Somethings gotta change.

I told my wife from day one that I'm not a rich clever ferang (true BTW) but I will not buy what I can't afford. I cannot and will not be able to provide for the whole village but CAN in time build a nice home and small shop for us to (hopefuly) live a comfortable life here. The wife is VERY busy running the business and its given her 'mountains' of self-respect and respect in the village. As mentioned by a previous poster, I also have learnt the hard way(Divorce) to show more affection now, even though it is not that natural for me (must be that d@mn British upbringing in Sawf London)

I too, do a bit of the Laundry (on the quite) but also play the 'boss man' role a bit.

Take up Lampshades offer, it would do you both good and give you time to carefully consider the way forward.

Kind regard

Dave

That is something that I am considering seriously bless his heart:

I am trying to sort this amicably with out the big guns :

Its easy to say grab your daughter and go but we are not all made up of the same demeanour 10 month old that is not weaned, the taking versus the family in the villager well some of them and a baby does not sit still in a seat belt these are not excuses there facts: How the watsit can I impose myself and my daughter into a family situation that she nor me know thats just ttaking the p.... I got to try sort this I know the outcome will be it all ends

Well that was my ambition for the wife and a family some sort of small business but there is no interest or support from the family all I keep getting is buy land buy land

[MrSquigle]

When you were a ploiceman...did all the criminals get away with it like this one ??

I really cannot believe anyone would stay with someone like that.

[AjarnP]

This afternoon she got angry with the little daughter rocked her so hard she fell out the rocker banging her head : I took my little angel outside to control her, I had to raise my voice at the wife and yak yak her: So I have this to deal with as well, threats to kill the baby twice and showing a knife to me and the daughter: I thought I only dealt with this crap as a Copper.

Sorry for the way you and now your daughter are being treated.

Based on your last paragraph, it is essential that you immediately go to the local police station and file a report of this threatening behaviour. You should ask the duty officer to give you an attested copy of the report in the day-book. This may be needed in the future if the situation becomes any worse and (heaven forbid) if the threats become actions.

It will stand you in good stead with the courts if you need to go through divorce proceedings too.

Put To Put To Put To

AjarnP

[macb]

i\I am out of here in a few minutes more soon