What Do I Do

[rockyysdt]

It is obvious from some posters writings that is they are the ones with blinkers on and do not know me :

In my life I have been kicked down to many times , why because I am emotionally weak and do not like domestic conflict so most of the time I just go with the flow;

It is mentioned give her another chance this is out of the question (Why should I who became a maid ) and did so much for the family and never got any thanks remain in this situation, would you live in that situation if so i will give you a mobile number then you can cook wash clean and take on the family :

Hi Macb.

I'm sorry for your plight.

Unfortunately if you seek happiness from others you will always suffer.

If we don't love ourselves, we can't expect others to love us.

I personally believe that your life expereinces aren't coincidental and have been leading you towards your lifes path.

Learn from them and break the cycle of repitition and suffering.

I don't think it's a coincidence you find yourself in LOS,the cradle of Buddhism.

Look within and you'll find all the love that ever existed and you'll throw away your shell, the one that your wife judges you by.

Here are some great places where you can begin to explore the real you.

Silence your mind and you will find the answer.

It's been there all along, just waiting to be discovered.

http://www.hdamm.de/buddha/mdtctr02.htm

http://www.dhammathai.org/e/practice/buddhismpractice.php

http://www.palikanon.com/vipassana/tapotaram/tapotaram.htm

Don't waste another minute.

Life is too short to be wasted on regrets and negative thoughts.

[plachon]

It is obvious from some posters writings that is they are the ones with blinkers on and do not know me :

In my life I have been kicked down to many times , why because I am emotionally weak and do not like domestic conflict so most of the time I just go with the flow;

It is mentioned give her another chance this is out of the question (Why should I who became a maid ) and did so much for the family and never got any thanks remain in this situation, would you live in that situation if so i will give you a mobile number then you can cook wash clean and take on the family :

Hi Macb.

I'm sorry for your plight.

Unfortunately if you seek happiness from others you will always suffer.

If we don't love ourselves, we can't expect others to love us.

I personally believe that your life expereinces aren't coincidental and have been leading you towards your lifes path.

Learn from them and break the cycle of repitition and suffering.

I don't think it's a coincidence you find yourself in LOS,the cradle of Buddhism.

Look within and you'll find all the love that ever existed and you'll throw away your shell, the one that your wife judges you by.

Here are some great places where you can begin to explore the real you.

Silence your mind and you will find the answer.

It's been there all along, just waiting to be discovered.

http://www.hdamm.de/buddha/mdtctr02.htm

http://www.dhammathai.org/e/practice/buddhismpractice.php

http://www.palikanon.com/vipassana/tapotaram/tapotaram.htm

Don't waste another minute.

Life is too short to be wasted on regrets and negative thoughts.

Oh no! A buddhist bible thumper pops up like magic in a time of crisis!

[macb]

Spoke to Issan lawyers yesterday

Several options given :

Grounds for divorce nearly similar to UK:

1. If a partner deserts the marriage and cannot be traced for 1 yrs divorce available

2. 3 year seperation

3.Adultery.

The best course of action is an agreement between both parties (But this is all down to your Thai partner who has to agree everything for signature : Then its local Amphur office job done ;

Anything accrued after marriage ie i

So its all down to the partner thats means its be nice time and use some reverse Psychology :

Fees if lawyer deal with signing and translation of Divorce Agreement App 25.000 bht

If you choose the court option (Not recommended) App 50.000 bht : Of course you wife would beed to be paying kawyers fees as well:

Well theres a small insight for those in the future : Of course everyones scenario will be different

There were no calls from the wife yesterday nor the day before, that itself sends a message:

I am kept informed by Andy and Pa and Ron Thompson on my daughters welfare and she is okay:

My intention is leave things for some time then I will make contact and try to come to and agreement :

These are the things I want which is not much :

1 pick up

2 1 piece of gold that is mine the rest she can keep.

3. Sign the daughter to me if she cannot cope or visitation rights

The house and land she can have and her money in the bank she can keep. the m/c she can have (She cannot drive pick up no Driving licence)

So she gets to keep 2 million bht house and gold diamond investment and money in bank: I reckon thats a good deal :

Well I am not interested in bricks and mortar

Well I hope my openness on this mess in my life will serve as useful to folks in the future

Edited December 2, 2007 by macb

[philliphn]

MacB:

I am very sorry for the way things turned out in your marriage.

Don't ever forget, that marriages may not be forever, but being a parent is!

In the years to come your daughter Gloria will need you to help her.

Edited December 3, 2007 by philliphn

[pumpuiman]

Mac,

Remember to negotiate in your favor.....Act as if you want half the value of the house and land, as well as all the other assets......Then "reluctantly" give in for what you really wanted in the first place

She'll think she's won.....you've got what you want....

This is the time to make sure you've got a clear head.....and sharpen up your poker skills.

I'm sure it will work out fine with visitation/custody.....she knows your a good Dad, and wouldn't jeopardize Gloria's future.

Hold fast,

Eric

[Talisman]

Hi Mac: Its great to hear you sounding upbeat and positive about things!

I think that the new posters thread regarding Buddhist philosophy contains words of great wisdom, and I also would recommend that you seek refuge in the three jewels: The Buddha, The Dharma, The Sangha.

I hope that you will be able to reconcile what has happened in your life, in a way that will minimise unhealthy feelings of anger, and in such a way that you will be able to realise the good things that have come out of this situation.

If you will excuse a few well meaning metaphysical observations:

Those laypersons amongst us who take refuge in The Three Jewels, believe that we are all governed by Karma, which follows us like a shadow throughout all our lives: past, present and future. Our past and present actions govern the path our present and future lives shall take.

In terms of the first precept: that of non-harm to other living beings, your actions (whatever the intentions of the recipients) can only be regarded as positive, and worthy of much accumulated merit on your part! You have helped many other people, in that you selfishly helped make their lives easier, and perhaps in return: your friends have been allowed to help you, in your times of trouble!

In terms of the second and fourth precepts: again, you can only be said to have acquitted yourself well, in these trying times within your present life: You have not taken anything from that relationship that was not freely given; neither have you lied or used duplicity in your speech. You have simply said things pretty much as they are, and left it at that!

The third and fifth precepts, should IMHO, be in the forefront of your mind, during the testing months ahead. Sexual misconduct clearly includes exploitation, whether the OP believes they are being exploited or not noting that Karma may mean a role-reversal at some stage, and alcohol will cloud judgement, and possibly introduce thoughts into your mind that are harmful to yourself and others, therefore it is best avoided!

I agree wholeheartedly with the other poster: stop and think Mac. Your Karma has brought you to a land where you are surrounded by the Three Jewels, and perhaps introduced events into your life, that will make you inclined to look deeper. Is this also part of your destiny; the choice is yours alone!

If you will further excuse a few well meaning pragmatic observations:

Your wife has given you two gifts that transcend material values!

The gift of new life: your beautiful baby daughter!

The gift of new life: yours from this second onwards!

I was thinking of you the other day Mac; I am back grafting in blightly at the moment, and in a phone call with the Mrs, she told me about someone, and it made me think of you!

A while ago we decided to get one of those all singing and dancing NASA sized satellite set-ups (Nui is just as materialistic as any other Issan gal who grew up on a dirt floor).Their all the same in regard to aspirations Mack, its just jai dee that separates them out.

Anyway; we had a really good deal with a very honest seller, and every six months ago, the old gent turns up to nuke the box, and install some new channels as part of the service!

This time he brought his assistant along, and during the ensuing snacking and admiring of the flowers, the lady mentioned the following:

She is a respectable single mum in her mid thirties, has her own salaried job, and owns her own house in a nice little village down the road. She lives alone, and her parents are dead. She has a little girl of eight, and the father headed south straight after the child was born. She no longer wants to have a relationship with any Thai, as she no longer trusts Thai men. But she is lonely, and she can see that the Mrs and me are happy together.

She is not looking for a rich farang, but she is looking for some tlc, and a man around the place, and is wondering if a farang is the solution: But there are not many farangs around these parts! The ladies a good-looking gal, as are most in these parts; but she is no racing snake, or just arm candy trouble. What you see is exactly what you get!

Anyway: I hate profiling people, and you are going to get a hundreds of recommendations like this from mates that chance upon some good-uns, but if this type of lady looks to be the type of person/environment in which you may see you and your daughter in future, I reckon you could do a lot worse than start testing the waters! PM me if you would like a photo and her number: up to you, but could be good for both of you!

Anyway: Sometimes I talk too much. Take care Mac you are going to be just fine.

Chok dee kap!

Mark.

[rockyysdt]

The third and fifth precepts, should IMHO, be in the forefront of your mind, during the testing months ahead. Sexual misconduct clearly includes exploitation, whether the OP believes they are being exploited or not noting that Karma may mean a role-reversal at some stage, and alcohol will cloud judgement, and possibly introduce thoughts into your mind that are harmful to yourself and others, therefore it is best avoided! Mark.

Hi Mark.

What do you mean in your third and fifth precept section?

Just a little vague to me, that's all.

danny

[farangconnection]

Is there any chance that a mod can go through this thread and delete the posts from the numerous assoles that find a keyboard in front of them and type whatever comes into their empty heads first. This is a post about the sadness and frustrtration of , now three lads, who find them selves in a situation that none of them ever dreamed about. IT IS NOT A THREAD ABOUT 'I CAN SLAG OFF THAI WOMEN BETTER THAN YOU CAN'

So please <deleted>, can you take you tiny little peckers ( which you probably havn't seen since childhood 50 or 60 years ago) and insert it in one of our rivals forum, where they would probably find you very amusing. WE DON'T.

[Talisman]

Hi Danny.

The comments regarding the third and fifth precepts were vague for a reason!

Whether Mac realises it or not: his actions must firstly be regarded as positive in nature, in regard to the first, second, and fourth precepts.

His ongoing conduct indicates an intention to help others, therefore in regard to the first precept of not harming any living being: he extended that to the positive: the purpose and intention of his actions has been to help many living beings: his extended family.

In regard to the second precept: that of not taking of anything not freely given, or stealing. Mack like all of us faced a dilemma. In the near future, it would be likely that he would be involved in legal wrangles involving shared assets.

He also noted that on the ground, in practice as opposed to legal theory: property in Thailand following divorce tends to flow primarily in the ex-wifes direction. Mac supposed - just for the time a thought takes to form - it would be fair to take some gold that he had given to his wife as a present! However, he quickly realised that to have done so, would have been to take something not freely given. In not taking it, he refrained from stealing.

In regard to the fourth lay precept: that of abstaining from lying, which includes not gossiping or using speech to harm others: Mac has complied, even during these testing times. He told it as it was, even though her conduct has been, lets say questionable!

Therefore so far: Mac has behaved positively in accordance with the first, second and fourth precepts: all of which concern the principle of non-harm to other living beings, which include himself and his wife.

In regard to the vagueness regarding the third and fifth lay precepts: that of refraining from sexual misconduct and the taking of intoxicants or drugs: My remarks were vague, as I did not wish to be discourteous, therefore it would make better sense if I framed them using the dreaded -I- word. This is the paragraph under discussion, and then I will rephrase using the -I- word: (this goes entirely against the Buddhist belief of non-self, and I use it only for the purposes of clarity, while not offending innocent parties.)

The third and fifth precepts, should IMHO, be in the forefront of your mind, during the testing months ahead. Sexual misconduct clearly includes exploitation, whether the OP believes they are being exploited or not noting that Karma may mean a role-reversal at some stage, and alcohol will cloud judgement, and possibly introduce thoughts into your mind that are harmful to yourself and others, therefore it is best avoided!

If -I- was to have gone through precisely what Mac is going through, including the feelings of betrayal and loss of trust: -I-may have ended up nursing one of many Singhas perhaps in The Buffalo Bar up in Soi 6.

With a bruised ego, and feeling hard done-by: -I- may well have bar fined a young lady straight back to the hotel room, for a little horizontal entertainment, followed by breakfast and a financial gratuity. Where is the harm in that? Ego is a small word for a very big problem!

Like the overwhelming majority of girls in such situations; despite all farangs being -Hanshum Men,- she would have been entirely motivated by;

a/ The thousand Baht that she would have sent home to look after the family, and;

b/ The outside chance that I was going to provide a longer-term drip, or perhaps even the jackpot of lifetime security for her and the family.

As -I- was clearly not going to contemplate anything other than option (a)- I would actually have exploited a vulnerable person, and therefore broken the third precept of sexual misconduct. I would have harmed another living thing!

Alternatively, if -I- had gone for option b/, and -I- ended up being the exploited: who am -I- to complain. My earlier action culminated in my becoming exploited: this is what I meant by a role-reversal: the exploiter becomes the exploited: the fruition of bad karma!

Therein works the chain of causation - cause and effect - cyclic patterns - and of course samsara itself: the never-ending cycle of birth, death, and rebirth.

In regard to the fifth precept: that of not taking alcohol or intoxicants: The reasoning of Lord Buddha was straightforward. It clouds the mind, thereby inhibiting the study of Dharma, and a hindrance to abiding by the other four lay precepts.

-I- think this story illustrates the dangers of alcohol: A Buddhist Lama (spiritual master) was travelling amongst the nomadic tribes. The people would give him food and lodging in exchange for his blessings. One evening a young woman who lived alone offered him lodging. She made it conditional that he would have to do one of three things: sacrifice a goat, sleep with his hostess or drink alcohol.

He decided on the last of these options, thinking that drinking alcohol was the least harmful of the three. One drink led to another, however, and before long he was drunk. In this state, the sound of the goat started to annoy him so much that he went out and killed it, and when he woke up the next morning he found he had been to bed with the hostess!

It could have been even worst: he could have killed the Hostess and woken up with the goat, which is probably what would have happened if it had been soi cowboy.

Life is a gas, but the moral of all this is: guard your karma as you would guard your castle: no-one else is going to do it for us!

Edited December 3, 2007 by Talisman

[zorro1]

Mac,

Remember to negotiate in your favor.....Act as if you want half the value of the house and land, as well as all the other assets......Then "reluctantly" give in for what you really wanted in the first place

She'll think she's won.....you've got what you want....

This is the time to make sure you've got a clear head.....and sharpen up your poker skills.

I'm sure it will work out fine with visitation/custody.....she knows your a good Dad, and wouldn't jeopardize Gloria's future.

Hold fast,

Eric

great advice give away a little at a time so she thinks shes one a hard Battle. Give her the house straight up and she will want the pick up.

now on a lighter note Its a good time for perhaps suggestions in naming your book which will make you millions (bht not dollars ). My suggestion is call it "Macfcuked" spelt just like that. curiosity alone would make me pick it up

[TheExpat]

Is there any chance that a mod can go through this thread and delete the posts from the numerous assoles that find a keyboard in front of them and type whatever comes into their empty heads first. This is a post about the sadness and frustrtration of , now three lads, who find them selves in a situation that none of them ever dreamed about. IT IS NOT A THREAD ABOUT 'I CAN SLAG OFF THAI WOMEN BETTER THAN YOU CAN'

So please <deleted>, can you take you tiny little peckers ( which you probably havn't seen since childhood 50 or 60 years ago) and insert it in one of our rivals forum, where they would probably find you very amusing. WE DON'T.

FC,

I feel for anyone one that is going through a break up, but if you post it on the web, you might not always like what you hear. Do not ask mods to clean up what was brought out into public light.

I really can't see posting so God and everyone can know your business. Things like: "as all of you know, me and the misses had a fist-a-cuff last night" or "my wife is upset because I shag other Thai ladies" or "My wife is now shacking up with a Thai man", should be left for at the bar, the lawyers office or a shrinks office. Not the internet. Have some dignity.......Unbelievable..........

For Mach, I am sorry to hear that you are having to go through all of this. Sometimes a door closes and we are hurt by that. But then another door opens and things are better than before! I see the future being better for you and your daughter. Time will mend the heart, the soul and any other bumps and bruises that this has caused

Edited December 3, 2007 by TheExpat

[cinosam]

This will come as a surprise to lots of members and friends on here :

But last Saturday my wife announced she was fed up with me and wants to leave, and leave me with the daughter :

The Sunday morning I said are you in the same frame of mind she said yes, things have not been as they should be for sometime although a front has been put on by her when friends visit.

Well I took pics of my daughter showered packed a case and said I am going away, she said you cant, I hugged my little daughter and left, I met my pal Mervyn in Pattaya and had lots of Support from friends down there :

I have returned today, my daughter looked well, but my house is dirty and had to clean the kitchen she spoke not a word ( I was informed by my good friend Ron) that her mother had been yak yaking her saying she has it very good as I do everything she told her mother I was boring : I eventually said well what about last weekened verbal she said stay for your daughter:

Well yes now it all comes out I build a lovely house truck m/c give her gold etc etc : But I over the last months even longer don't feel loved and certainly not being cared for. Yes since we been in village I do cleaning laundry and most of the time cook for myself

I went up to bed but cannot sleep my wife sleeps downstairs with the daughter to much on my mind : I would not have returned from Pattaya but did for my daughter:

I feel as if this has all been planned :

We have been together 3 yrs but now I think about things, I see the things that are not there, caring loving . I cant live in this situation. I discovered the difference over the past few days between 28 yrs old and 35 yr old I was given more love and attention that was not there and never has been there in this relationship, now what do I do, I got to find my happiness and someone to care about me before the twilight years but what about my daughter

In one way you are lucky that she will divorce you and you can get her away from you and at least you have a healthy daughter which is priceless in the grand scheme of things.

I wonder is she so much of an uncaring dog of a mother would Gloria be better never seeing her mother in the future.

I am in a situation also with divorce and received advice today to arrange for a thai male of a similiar age of my wife to walk beside her on the street for photos and in shopping centres if possible and to have them filmed talking together and finally to have the male force kiss her and use photos from footage to force a divorce as at least the law allows for that in thailand and favours the non cheating party but still because i'm a foreigner wouldn't get away scott free but at least i'd be divorced which is the whole point.

It might be worth considering something like that.

[StinkyMudFish]

ok joke to lighten the mood:

"I've got a 2005 complete set of Encyclopedia Britanica for sale in perfect condition, on offer for £250. Reason for sale....just got married wife knows f'kin everything!"

Smile and move on lads it happens to the best and the worst of us. When its over its over...

Edited December 3, 2007 by StinkyMudFish

[StinkyMudFish]

Not wishing to offend anyone just wanted to bring a smile. It made me laugh yesterday when someone text through to my mobile phone.

Edited December 3, 2007 by StinkyMudFish

[aussiecollin]

Mac is a great bloke, one of life's real gentleman, he will get, as he deserves, all the help and support that he needs from his friends outside of this screen.

I now think of a statement I made years ago regarding women. It does seem somehow that the better you treat a woman, the more problems you have. I have known guys that beat their women half to death at times, and they are together for years. I know other guys that give their wives NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, and somehow they are still happily married. Now I know of four guys, including myself, who have given their wives the world, and look what has happened.

it is now 18 years, we have given each other 'the world' and are still very much in love...oh yes, she is an issan girl

[Tilapia]

Just a question, how can you 'do the best' for your daughter if she is not with you, if she is left in a village to grow up and go to school when she has the ooportunity to do better and more importantly when the mother does what she does ??

If you have friends, good friends, would any of them offer to help you take care of her for a short time until you settle and sort your shit out ?

Macb can do best for her by supporting her and having visiting rights and spending quality time with her , he will also be in the driving seat for any important decisions concerning her future .

Imho taking her out of the village away from her mother and family will not be a good move if macb beleives she will be well cared for in the village.

JB

If Macb is not there, then a pig-farm will look clean compared to the place the kid will grow up in...IMHO

[paulsmithson]

Cinosam ---how low can you go?

[macb]

Cinosam ---how low can you go?

The statement how low can you go reminds me of a joke :

When a jusge said to someone on court 'How low can you go'

The defendant replied 'Well there was this jack russell once

l

[macb]

Well folks I have read the many comments and writings the thread from Talisman I did find interesting :

Well it was mention that I am lucky she will divorce me, well that has not been approached as yet:

SUNDAY AND MONDAY THERE WAS NO CONTACT FROM HER AT ALL (That tells a story )

I am leaving any contact for a while, it will be made when I am ready, i will not visit the house next time on my own MGC is going to come with me with his pick-up :

Friday night she never stopped at the house she was in another village at her sisters : I am kept informed of things :

JUNGLE DRUMS AND ALL THAT :

YES I MISS MY DAUGHTER VERY MUCH WHEN I LOOK HER PICTURES THE EMOTIONS ARE TO MUCH :

She is so near taking her first few steps and I think I will miss this happening : But I know that when this is all sorted out her Daddy will always be there for her, no matter what, but I must seek my happiness and well being:

I send this message to my little angel 'Trust me little one for I will not forsake you'

Edited December 3, 2007 by macb

[sbk]

Off topic and abusive posts have been deleted.

Lets keep this civil for Mac's sake thanks

[mraitchison]

I have just read all of this. (really I have nothing better to do)

Something strikes me as odd to the whole situation though.

OP you keep referring to 'not being taken care of' and you are complaining that you have to do the washing etc.

Was your marriage purely a relationship where you expected a live in maid to have a relationship with and didn't expect to do any chores?

My marriage is split pretty much evenly. She is at home more just now so more is done by her but I have no problem in pulling my weight.

From the sounds of it things you need to revaluate what you want from a partner. If it's somebody to dote/take care of you. on you or if you are after somebody to share your life with.

[AYJAYDEE]

This will come as a surprise to lots of members and friends on here :

But last Saturday my wife announced she was fed up with me and wants to leave, and leave me with the daughter :

The Sunday morning I said are you in the same frame of mind she said yes, things have not been as they should be for sometime although a front has been put on by her when friends visit.

Well I took pics of my daughter showered packed a case and said I am going away, she said you cant, I hugged my little daughter and left, I met my pal Mervyn in Pattaya and had lots of Support from friends down there :

I have returned today, my daughter looked well, but my house is dirty and had to clean the kitchen she spoke not a word ( I was informed by my good friend Ron) that her mother had been yak yaking her saying she has it very good as I do everything she told her mother I was boring : I eventually said well what about last weekened verbal she said stay for your daughter:

Well yes now it all comes out I build a lovely house truck m/c give her gold etc etc : But I over the last months even longer don't feel loved and certainly not being cared for. Yes since we been in village I do cleaning laundry and most of the time cook for myself

I went up to bed but cannot sleep my wife sleeps downstairs with the daughter to much on my mind : I would not have returned from Pattaya but did for my daughter:

I feel as if this has all been planned :

We have been together 3 yrs but now I think about things, I see the things that are not there, caring loving . I cant live in this situation. I discovered the difference over the past few days between 28 yrs old and 35 yr old I was given more love and attention that was not there and never has been there in this relationship, now what do I do, I got to find my happiness and someone to care about me before the twilight years but what about my daughter

your one and only duty now is tio the daughter you helped create. everything u do must be in her best interests. the interests of you or your wife take a back seat.

look after the child and worry about your happiness later.

as many of the above posters have pointed out, there are innumerable lovely thai women out there who would jump at the chance to take care of you when the time comes. jai yen

[macb]

I have just read all of this. (really I have nothing better to do)

Something strikes me as odd to the whole situation though.

OP you keep referring to 'not being taken care of' and you are complaining that you have to do the washing etc.

Was your marriage purely a relationship where you expected a live in maid to have a relationship with and didn't expect to do any chores?

My marriage is split pretty much evenly. She is at home more just now so more is done by her but I have no problem in pulling my weight.

From the sounds of it things you need to revaluate what you want from a partner. If it's somebody to dote/take care of you. on you or if you are after somebody to share your life with.

I am weary and really cant be bothered to answer rthread : I think you do not understand the Thai/Khmer culture at all

[lazeeboy]

This will come as a surprise to lots of members and friends on here :

But last Saturday my wife announced she was fed up with me and wants to leave, and leave me with the daughter :

The Sunday morning I said are you in the same frame of mind she said yes, things have not been as they should be for sometime although a front has been put on by her when friends visit.

Well I took pics of my daughter showered packed a case and said I am going away, she said you cant, I hugged my little daughter and left, I met my pal Mervyn in Pattaya and had lots of Support from friends down there :

I have returned today, my daughter looked well, but my house is dirty and had to clean the kitchen she spoke not a word ( I was informed by my good friend Ron) that her mother had been yak yaking her saying she has it very good as I do everything she told her mother I was boring : I eventually said well what about last weekened verbal she said stay for your daughter:

Well yes now it all comes out I build a lovely house truck m/c give her gold etc etc : But I over the last months even longer don't feel loved and certainly not being cared for. Yes since we been in village I do cleaning laundry and most of the time cook for myself

I went up to bed but cannot sleep my wife sleeps downstairs with the daughter to much on my mind : I would not have returned from Pattaya but did for my daughter:

I feel as if this has all been planned :

We have been together 3 yrs but now I think about things, I see the things that are not there, caring loving . I cant live in this situation. I discovered the difference over the past few days between 28 yrs old and 35 yr old I was given more love and attention that was not there and never has been there in this relationship, now what do I do, I got to find my happiness and someone to care about me before the twilight years but what about my daughter

your one and only duty now is tio the daughter you helped create. everything u do must be in her best interests. the interests of you or your wife take a back seat.

look after the child and worry about your happiness later.

as many of the above posters have pointed out, there are innumerable lovely thai women out there who would jump at the chance to take care of you when the time comes. jai yen

give it a few months and your heart will mend and you will realise it was meant to be ,as one door closes another will open ,same happened to me ,i thought it was the end of the world ,now realise really how unhappy i was for years ..

[macb]

SBK has taken the correct course of action :

Although this Topic was open heartedly started by myself it now involves two other friends of mine that are in trhe same situation.

Yes I originally posted for help and support from my many friends on here and I thank them for this: But also that there might be something for others to fall back on if in similar circumstances :

SO PLEASE KEEP COMMENTS AND THREADS DECENT FOR THE FUTURE SO AS IT MIGHT HELP OTHERS. IF YOU CANNOT NOT COMPLY WITH MY REQUEST I WILL ASK MODERATORS TO CLOSE IT

[farangconnection]

Thank you SBK for taking the sensible option. I guess at the moment my luck is really down. I met a wonderful girl at the weekend. Seemed perfect. Everything you could want. Unfortunately she made off this morning with last nights takings. And she was not a bar girl, just a normal working girl. She would not even spend the night with me until we were married. Bad luck I left the takings in my clothes which she conveniently cleared up for me.My ex did take the funny side of it though and helped me track her down. of which we got 1,000 back. But still as the expat put it, people are not really interested in stuff like that ( although apparantly he makes his living writing things like that)

[choppychugger]

so what does the future hold for you macb...?

[burman]

I think you do not understand the Thai/Khmer culture at all

MacB I feel for your situation, I really do, but please stop blaming everything on the Thai/Khmer culture and just accept your wife is a nasty piece of work and a wrong choice and move on.

[Gary A]

I have just read all of this. (really I have nothing better to do)

Something strikes me as odd to the whole situation though.

OP you keep referring to 'not being taken care of' and you are complaining that you have to do the washing etc.

Was your marriage purely a relationship where you expected a live in maid to have a relationship with and didn't expect to do any chores?

My marriage is split pretty much evenly. She is at home more just now so more is done by her but I have no problem in pulling my weight.

From the sounds of it things you need to revaluate what you want from a partner. If it's somebody to dote/take care of you. on you or if you are after somebody to share your life with.

You sound like you would make a great wife. The day my wife wants a maid and quits cooking, cleaning and washing my clothes is the day I start looking for a new wife. I used to go out with the weed whacker and cut weeds. I'm no longer allowed to do that because I cut GOOD things. I also can no longer take out the trash because I throw good things away. My wife is of the opinion that it's better for me to just stay out of her way. That suits me fine.

[macb]

so what does the future hold for you macb...?

Well apart from sorting the conclusion to the marriage :

Look for that happiness that seems to keep escaping me and in the past has shown itself but was in disguise

I am not rushing they are already queuing up I am taking my time : I love this part of Thailand and think i will ensconce myself in this area :

Right now I am chilling with my mate and his wife and feel pretty good :