Lighter Moments

[AltumAngel]

1) Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else.

Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again

yesterday.

2) Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?

Pupil : The moon.

Teacher : Why?

Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it

but the sun gives us light only in the day time

when we don't need it.

3) Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when

people are no longer interested?

Pupil : A teacher.

4) Waiter : Would you like your coffee black.

Customer : What other colours do you have?

6) Pupil : Did you know that the most intelligent person is

going deaf?

Teacher: Really. Who is it?

Pupil : Pardon.

7) Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've

failed?

David: You just send a telegram: Result declared,

past year's performance repeated.

8) Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and

stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?

Student : Brotherly love.

9) Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before

eating?

Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

10) Patient : What are the chances of my recovering doctor?

Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that

nine out of ten people die of the disease you

have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.

The others all died.

11) Teacher : " Hello boys, Remember !!! Nothing is impossible."

One of the 20 Students: "Ok Sir, You please take out all the

toothpaste and put it back

into the tube again."

12) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?"

One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the

sameday sametime."

13) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his

father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing

it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ? "

One Student: " Because George still had the axe in his hand."