"lord, I Have A Problem."

[Chris Lawrence]

"Lord, I have a problem."

" What's the problem, Eve? "

"I know you created me, provided this beautiful garden and all of

these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious snake, but I'm

just not happy."

"And why is that, Eve?"

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for

you.

"Man? What is that Lord? "

"A flawed creature . . . he'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all,

he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like

to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your

physical needs. He will be witless and revel in childish things like

fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he'll

need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's

the catch, Lord?"

"Well. . . . you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, self-admiring . . . , so you'll

have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our

little secret . . . you know, woman to woman