Public Displays Of Affection--between Gay Couples Or Any Couple

[chuck_s]

Basically any display of PDA (Public Display of Affection) between male and female has to be done with utmost discretion based upon the public norms of that countries society to be basic about this issue.

Instance. If you are at a pub / disco (gay or straight) and you have had too much beer or whisky, and decide to give your partner a pick on the cheek, use some discretion. If you do it, just look around and see who is looking at you to in shock or discomfort about the whole thing. Just go somewhere else, backroom, hotel or residence and do it there.

There are many times when having visited Silom here in Bangkok on some afternoon and watch a tourist arrive here in Bangkok and start feeling up some boy around 18 / man in a local book store for his kicks, or going to DJ (popular gay disco for those seeking Western and Asian partners), even going out to some of the other gay venues located near Ratchada soi 8 and Ao To Gu (behind Moe Chit BTS or JJ market). Some of the westerns don’t care about this issue at all. In the end, the farang loses face to those in that area very quickly and so does the boy / man to.

I do go out to those Thai places only from time to time and have personally observed this type of behavior from westerners and my Thai friends quickly point out their dissatisfaction about their attitudes. The Thai are very polite in dealing with others in public and will not say anything to you or others because they tend to be shy (if not exposed to many westerners) or not able o comfortably speak English to you.

Reminded, this type of PDA is not only spoken of in the pub / bar, but also online via gay.com, gayromeo.com, MSN, or the camfrog (www.camfrog.com) chat rooms.

Quote from http://www.amazing-thailand.com/DandD.html

Do's and Don'ts

Whilst Thai people are among the most tolerant and forbearing of hosts, they have nevertheless a number of customs and taboos which the visitor should respect. To help with this the Tourist Authority of Thailand publishes a tiny booklet entitled "Do's and Don'ts in Thailand". A few extracts are included here:

• Public displays of affection between men and women are frowned upon. You may see Westernized young Thai's holding hands in public, but that is as far as it goes, in polite society.

Just use discretion when in public at all times. We maybe not at home, but we are still only guests in this country.

[twschw]

My Thai partner likes to hold hands and he even grabs my ass anywhere we go. When we ride the motorbike he reaches back (he drives) and caresses my leg. He is from Isaan and is a government official. So, I guess I hit the jackpot in terms of affection.

[omomom]

Hello everyone. I'm an American and just recently started traveling to Thailand. I met a Thai boy in BKK on my last trip and we have been seeing each other ever since. Well, one of the first things I noticed is that he likes to hold hands EVERYWHERE. And I mean EVERYWHERE (the market, the restaurant, walking around his area of Ramkamhaeng, etc.) And it confused me because I thought that was frowned upon. Then I thought maybe I had it backwards or something. So I asked some friends and they said it was not the norm but that no one would really say anything, they would just stare. But it had me questioning my own fear and homophobia from America. But that's a whole other story. Anyway, he is new to BKK and from a small town outside Udan Thani. Do you think that has something to do with his complete and innocent lack of fear? I mean, truly, it is so genuine and real... without what some may consider to be "proving a point" or "making a statement" a city-wise guy might do. Though I think that would not be a Thai behavior anyway. Any thoughts on this? It has me perplexed, yet it's the sweetest thing I've ever encountered.

[PeaceBlondie]

Holding hands is not in the same category. It is sometimes done by straight or Gay Thais of both sexes, without having sexual connotations. It's the kissing and ass-grabbing and thigh-fondling or breast-touching that is likely to draw nearly universal disapproval in public. I think; maybe I'm wrong.

[farang prince]

Holding hands is not in the same category. It is sometimes done by straight or Gay Thais of both sexes, without having sexual connotations. It's the kissing and ass-grabbing and thigh-fondling or breast-touching that is likely to draw nearly universal disapproval in public. I think; maybe I'm wrong.

No PB, you are absolutely right. Thais tolerate homosexuality, but they don't want to be slapped in the face with it and they want their customs respected. If people insist on grabbing ass, kissing in public, slipping a quick feel of their b/f's cock, then they should also not be surprised if they get hard stares or whispered comments. I don't like it either and probably would show my displeasure too.

Edited January 16, 2008 by farang prince

[taned]

Holding hands is not in the same category. It is sometimes done by straight or Gay Thais of both sexes, without having sexual connotations. It's the kissing and ass-grabbing and thigh-fondling or breast-touching that is likely to draw nearly universal disapproval in public. I think; maybe I'm wrong.

I don't think that people should generally do that kind of thin in public at home in the West anyway. I hate the way some farang seem to treat Thais like a piece of meat that are there for them to play with.

I absolutely respect my Thai husband and would not grab him in public. We dance together or share a stool when we are out for a drink, sometimes we might sneak a kiss or grope while we are on the motorbike but certainly no one will ever see us. The only thing you can't help is CCTV in lifts, and we always have to sneak a passionate kiss in lifts!

Save it for private times I say, why would you want to share it with the world anyway? Respect your partner and your relationship and do as you would at home. If it's not acceptable in the West, Thai society certainly wont appreciate it.

[peekint]

What about goodbye hugs at the airport/bus terminals? I rarely ever see it.

Actually, in studying Thai behavior as I do... the I often see the act of saying "goodbye" completely missing. I've asked the Thais I work with about this, and they have confirmed to me... Thai's aren't big on saying goodbyes.

If you start doing business in Thai with Thai people (especially those who don't also deal with Westerners on a regular basis), you'll find this in phone calls as well. Once it is clear the conversation is pretty much over, one party just hangs up. It's pretty "shocking" to our Western sense since we tend to like "closure"; but here it seems the implied closure is enough.

This seldom happens if you are conversing in English, because part of the "practice" for business English is the form of the phone call.

[peekint]

It's "Amazing Thailand' afterall, and we're no longer stuck in the rut of Farangland, thank God.

Pawpcorn

You are right, Pawpcorn, we have found paradise here. Now if we could only get same-sex partner immigration! 555

[donna]

PDA, in the sense of holding hands, i think is lovely. when in bangkok my thai female friends would usually grab my hand as we walked along. the only people to give us strange looks were other foreigners. i used to often grab on to the arm of male thai friends too as we were walking along.

pecks on the cheek are nothing, and i think its a lovely thing to see.

full on pashing - no thanks. get a room.

i did see a girl giving her boyfriend a hand job at the traffic lights in phuket just before i left (she was on the back of his motorbike). i bet her mum is proud of her!

[Scott]

I am not comfortable with public displays of affection--don't like to see it, and I don't like to do it. When other's do it, I don't say or do anything because I see it as my issue. It's just impolite. I mean if your talking to someone and they suddenly feel the urge to reach over and kiss someone else, it doesn't say much about the conversation or their interest!

Holding hands, again is a little bit different, as is sitting with an arm around someone, I think that is simply a display of closeness or physical comfort (you have to do something with your arms and hands).

I mean, for God's Sake, you can usually get a short-time room for 200 baht nearby.

[BigSnake]

My opinion affection should be shown in private(at home) or among close friends/relatives. This goes for gay couples or any couple for that matter.

[Rionoir]

I think for most situations that the "sniff kiss" or grabbing onto the arm/hand/shoulder whatever is fine... don't see many people full-on making out in public, and I think it's tacky in any country really.

At gay clubs like DJ with all the farang, I think a little bit more is acceptable... although i do roll my eyes when I see the old men making out with the 18 year old moneyboys and then walking to the toilet with a hard-on... *puke*

[quattro19]

I think most replies in this forum are quite stereo typical. I personally think has alot to do witht he family that each person was raised in. Different family have different way of showing affection, whether it be saying something nice, hugging, giving money,etc... Some family area less touchy than others and some family are less shy to show some PDA.. Then again.. its another story when you are talking about two buff men hugging each other... affectionately..

[Ijustwannateach]

[sunreader]

I have seen teen school boys on several occassions in BKK holding hands, or with arms draped over each others shoulders.

I am guessing they are just friends and straight but its really nice to see.

Wish it would happen here in the UK but it seems stabbing (with knives) is the modern way now.

Youth in the UK are so insecure and living in fear, its a spiral of behaviour that is getting out of control.

Love not war someone said.