Dowry In Rural Issan

[corkman]

Corker...

I like what you have posted..

but living in Ireland and visiting here for a week, a couple of weeks, a month, or a couple of months is completely different..

Do you speak, read and understand Thai ? If not, then you really don't understand thier culture. Just what they want you to understand...

I also had visions of the perfect Thai world and how I would fit into it...but that was before I lived here..

No, not in Issan, but Chiang Mai. Lanna not much different, folks all the same.

My eyes opened allot more now then before I moved here, full time...

I believe that unless you live here day in and day out and have that daily interaction between your culture and thiers..your view dosen't hold that much water.

Keep posting, they are interesting to read.

And yes, never mind the naysayers..keep typing.

Gpdjohn - I see what you mean, and I accept what you are saying. I do speak a little Thai, I am not fluent, but enough to get by. I do not write or read it though. Folks do have a romantic notion of living in Thailand - to be honest "living" there would not be for me, at least not now - and I have seen and understand that there is a vast difference between visiting (as distinct from holidaying) and full time living anywhere. All this I accept and agree with you that without living it, day-to-day, you cannot either fully apprecaite or understand the implications of it. However I think we are talking apples and oranges to a certain extent, in the context of what I have been trying to say here. I am not trying to say I understand Thai culture, nor have I been trying to explain it - what I have been trying to say is this: Unless you really are in tune with all things Thai, it is important to be mindful that you are not Thai. If you abandon everything you are, to be something you are not, then in my view you will end up looking an idiot.Conversely if you make no effort to understand Thai ways you will end up looking ignorant and arogant.If you cannot accept that you have different values you will seem equally as arogant (or may even appear stupid, ignorant, or rude). If an entire nation of people see's something as right and you see it as wrong, maybe you should re-evaluate your views. Some things just have to be accepted - accepting is not embracing, it is just acknowledging difference. My basic attitude is this: Compromise. Try to get people to understand that you are not Thai, but you respect their ways, and you equally would like a little repsect and understanding too. You are in their country, so the ball is in your court to be both understanding and to explain yourself and your ways in a way that is informative but not assuming or demanding - You are willing to play ball - not to be target practice. If you want repsect, command it, earn it - don't try and buy it or hold people to randsom for it. So - in short, what I am trying to say is that I do not think I "understand" Thai culture, in the compelte sense. I have an understanding of some things Thai of course, but all things - certainly not. But most of what I have said here is psychology 101 - not an interpretation of Thai Culture. I sincerely do not think you have to live there 24/7 to reach the conclusions I have reached in my posts here. Does it make sense to you? If so, then I think it does in fact "hold water" - but there is no "fact" here anyway, just opinion. I have not tried to claim I "understand Thai culture" - it is other people that have suggested that, not I, and by associtaion it now appears that. All I have been saying is "think" about what you say and do - try and step back and see things objectively - no one likes a hypocrocy, idiocy, or arogance, and right and wrong can sometimes depend on perspective. I thank you for the dimplomatic and gentlemanly way in that you put your point across - it is appreciated and well received and (to me) it is indicative of a man of humility that most likely lives a very happy and peaceful life in Thailand PS. LICKEY - I glad it was never pinned..... it was someone else that thought it should be pinned - Pinning is for facts, not opinions

[raybingham]

Corker...

I like what you have posted..

but living in Ireland and visiting here for a week, a couple of weeks, a month, or a couple of months is completely different..

Do you speak, read and understand Thai ? If not, then you really don't understand thier culture. Just what they want you to understand...

I also had visions of the perfect Thai world and how I would fit into it...but that was before I lived here..

No, not in Issan, but Chiang Mai. Lanna not much different, folks all the same.

My eyes opened allot more now then before I moved here, full time...

I believe that unless you live here day in and day out and have that daily interaction between your culture and thiers..your view dosen't hold that much water.

Keep posting, they are interesting to read.

And yes, never mind the naysayers..keep typing.

I think the views DO hold water. At least for me because I also only spend part of my life in Thailand (circa 5/6 months per year). I am also in that middle ground of being more than a holidaymaker but not up to fully resident standard. The point has already been made that if the comments fit then relate to them and/or apply them.

However, I would refute any assertion that ONLY the views of full time residents "hold water". I have seen some full time residents whose views I would not countenance because they are so wrapped up in their own little worlds that they are incapable of giving a balanced view of anything but their own rectum ! (thankfully the minority but you probably know who you are

[dee123]

Maybe this issue has been discussed many times before,

Your right at that, Mike.

As for dowry, I will give you some examples. All in 2007 from Isarn and all personally known to me:

• Thai man (25) agreed last week for a dowry of 150K for a Thai girl (same age). Both are from Isarn, both not well situated.
  
• A farang (63) married last November a virgin (34) with univerity and good job. He paid 500K.
  
• Another Thai paid 100K last December for his Thai wife, both not especially well off, and both from Isarn.
  
• A farang (62) paid last year 300K for a girl (29) which he met in Pattaya with daughter from Kalsin.
  
• A Thai (28) paid 1 Mio for his Chinese bride (25, uni) last year, both from good standing families in rural Isarn.
  

Hope this gives you an idea

Thedi

you must be one of those "Quality Tourists" Thedi ?...we here so much about

[roygsd]

It is also about class as well. If someone can't find the money to marry someone then may be he is trying to marry out of his class and should look else where.

Love should transcend everything.

"You can't marry my daughter if you can't pay what I want" Disgusting!

Totally agree with you on that nick.

Agreed. Only greedy families will want you to do that. See up, its not too hard to distingush

I agree it is disgusting but a lot of people are saying it is part of tradition. May be this is the case but when an older man or lady want to marry a much younger person then I call it buying a wife/husband

As an older man married to a younger woman I have to question your reasoning, what is the difference between a woman marries an older man who paid x amount or alteratively marrying his son who also pays the same amount?

Sounds like a young man who is envious of his elders, you dont have to be, wait a while and before you know it you will be an old man too.. bet you dont think much of the old guy with the farrari either? Not that I have or would want a farrari

that is!.

roy gsd

[gpdjohn]

Lickey- nope, not pointed at you my bruther..just got your quote mixed in..

Corkman,

I totally agree with you..for such a young dude living outta country, you have got it pegged.

Yep, apples and oranges..but it becomes full spectrum when you are living here full time. Trying to blend farang culture and Thai together.. still gotta be American ( me ) and my wife Thai. Things have gone well, her mother always looks out for my welfare first, and so does the family in Pratchinburi..it's like being a rock star, but my mom in law and I are in the same age group as well...( kinda scary ) All my family ( Thai ) makes sure that I'm doing alright..but I know my place as well...the oldest "kid" hehehe.

Some days I just wanna beat myself in the head with a hammer...the corruption, the, well, hard to explain for me, things that go on here, and the Thai just go with it. Somethings that are just not put up with in the western world... I do love living here though, and would not change it for the world.

You make valid points, and I agree, with 96% of 'em.

And I also agree with "raybingham" as well....( for you Dude...)

I go outta my way to nod or say a "hello" to my fellow farang, only to be given a dirty look or stinky eye like I'm trying to steal something from em'..

I'm sure the were mean and nasty old phuker's back home as well...

I wish you good fortune in all you do, here in Thailand or in Ireland.

From Chiang Mai...John

[corkman]

Lickey- nope, not pointed at you my bruther..just got your quote mixed in..

Corkman,

I totally agree with you..for such a young dude living outta country, you have got it pegged.

Yep, apples and oranges..but it becomes full spectrum when you are living here full time. Trying to blend farang culture and Thai together.. still gotta be American ( me ) and my wife Thai. Things have gone well, her mother always looks out for my welfare first, and so does the family in Pratchinburi..it's like being a rock star, but my mom in law and I are in the same age group as well...( kinda scary ) All my family ( Thai ) makes sure that I'm doing alright..but I know my place as well...the oldest "kid" hehehe.

Some days I just wanna beat myself in the head with a hammer...the corruption, the, well, hard to explain for me, things that go on here, and the Thai just go with it. Somethings that are just not put up with in the western world... I do love living here though, and would not change it for the world.

You make valid points, and I agree, with 96% of 'em.

And I also agree with "raybingham" as well....( for you Dude...)

I go outta my way to nod or say a "hello" to my fellow farang, only to be given a dirty look or stinky eye like I'm trying to steal something from em'..

I'm sure the were mean and nasty old phuker's back home as well...

I wish you good fortune in all you do, here in Thailand or in Ireland.

From Chiang Mai...John

John - thank you for the acknowledgement and gracious reponse - I appreciate it and take it as a compliment

And on that note..... as they say, I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead, and bow out of this discussion - lest I put my foot in my mouth, or lest someone else put it there for me

Best regards - and I echo your good wishes, in Thailand, in Life and in general - Chok Dee Khrap

Edited May 29, 2008 by corkman

[blue eyes]

Tradition,Tradition,Tradition.I really think that many of you just do not get it.I did sin sot and am proud that I did.It paid for the wedding,the three parties,yes three parties.That included renting all,clothes,dish's,tables,chairs,anything rented.It payed for the donation to Monks and Temple,food, drink,and things for the children to do.Anything and everything it paid for.There really was not much left afterwards,what was went in to the wifes bank account,which is now mine also.

So I paid for my own wedding......SO WHAT.I, my wife, our family,friends and the village all had a great

time.We,including my wifes family gained much face within the village.That is hard to do, beleive it or not.I did not "buy" my wife I rented her Sorry had to make a joke. Just do not tell her or she will be really pissed at me for that one.Many people do not understand sin sot, I think because they do not understand Thai culture.Some will say something stupid like " well way back when in Roman times they would stone people to death"should we still allow that in modern times?Maybe if we did, the crime rate would not be as high as it is.But seriously some things need to be kept active in the way of tradition,and sin sot is one of those things!So many of the westerners living in Thailand seem to look through western eyes and not understand the culture of the country that you have choosen to live in.I am not saying to "go native"just understand the culture of the country you live in and try to live to be part of it.

It is mostly always up to you.Do what you wish.But I enjoy Thai culture and will continue to live the life that brings my family and me the most enjoyable life possible.Relax.............................

[nitehawk56]

Tradition, it was my idea to have an Isaan wedding, I paid for our Thai Wedding outfits, I insisted; sinsot was not mentioned, however I told my wife to be, I would give her parents sinsot even though they had already told her it was not required, she has two beautiful daughters 3 and 7 years old, she was never married, had boyfriend in Bangkok, killed three years ago in motorbike accident, she has been staying with parents for two years, and I met the parents last year, great people and have always treated me like a family member, now soon I will be a family member, 14 days to go, and I am very happy with my wife to be and her family is my family. I'm paying sinsot because it is tradition, and I would never do anything to cause my wife to be or her family to loose face in the village.

[abdulrahman]

[*]Thai man (25) agreed last week for a dowry of 150K for a Thai girl (same age). Both are from Isarn, both not well situated.

Overpriced,will never be able to recoup the money invested!

[*]A farang (63) married last November a virgin (34) with university and good job. He paid 500K.

A fair price(virgin or not)

[*]Another Thai paid 100K last December for his Thai wife, both not especially well off, and both from Isarn.

Fair to generous.

[*]A farang (62) paid last year 300K for a girl (29) which he met in Pattaya with daughter from Kalasin.

Overpriced,but the worst has yet to come!

[*]A Thai (28) paid 1 Mio for his Chinese bride (25, uni) last year, both from good standing families in rural Isaan.

Fair amount(if you like chinese)

[tommyj4]

Suggest to the girl that wants to marry you that you would like a legal wedding then have the ceremony after.....if she refuses there is a valid reason...probably she is already married or has a long standing Thai boyfriend. Of course she will say its not good...I am Thai...this is Thailand etc etc etc.There isnt anything wrong in the Thai culture doing it this way....ask...see the response...if its no...walk away....

[tommyj4]

Tradition,Tradition,Tradition.I really think that many of you just do not get it.I did sin sot and am proud that I did.It paid for the wedding,the three parties,yes three parties.That included renting all,clothes,dish's,tables,chairs,anything rented.It payed for the donation to Monks and Temple,food, drink,and things for the children to do.Anything and everything it paid for.There really was not much left afterwards,what was went in to the wifes bank account,which is now mine also.

So I paid for my own wedding......SO WHAT.I, my wife, our family,friends and the village all had a great

time.We,including my wifes family gained much face within the village.That is hard to do, beleive it or not.I did not "buy" my wife I rented her Sorry had to make a joke. Just do not tell her or she will be really pissed at me for that one.Many people do not understand sin sot, I think because they do not understand Thai culture.Some will say something stupid like " well way back when in Roman times they would stone people to death"should we still allow that in modern times?Maybe if we did, the crime rate would not be as high as it is.But seriously some things need to be kept active in the way of tradition,and sin sot is one of those things!So many of the westerners living in Thailand seem to look through western eyes and not understand the culture of the country that you have choosen to live in.I am not saying to "go native"just understand the culture of the country you live in and try to live to be part of it.

It is mostly always up to you.Do what you wish.But I enjoy Thai culture and will continue to live the life that brings my family and me the most enjoyable life possible.Relax.............................

This seems to be about the only tradition that people want to keep......Macdonalds...Tesco....plastic surgery to look more western...no smoking in the bars...drink driving laws the list is endless...but hey lets keep the one tradition that is an easy way of getting money....

[jimjam23]

A farang (62) paid last year 300K for a girl (29) which he met in Pattaya with daughter from Kalsin.

Unbelievable.

Yea, I thought the same......but.....if he's happy.........his money......maybe pocket-change to him.

I'd never do it though.

I agree and this is not Sin Sod - this is rinsing someone for as much cash as they can.

Sin Sod is a way of showing your can afford to keep their daughter AND repaying the parents for raising a good daughter who is a worthy wife (and still a vrigin if we see this from Thai perspectives which is what Sin Sod is suggested under).

Guys - don't pay Sin Sod for a bar girl, your missing the point.

[old wanderer]

After being married to my Thai wife for 8 years living in the USA and returning to Issan each year to be pestered about "When are you going to get married?" (Meaning Issan style). I finally decided to jump in.

I told my wife that if we were going to get married "Issan style" that we would set a bar for her family that nobody would be able to cross.

As was mentioned getting married is not just a simple ceremony, but a whole process.

1. We had a "PARTY" where I had trucks bring beer, whiskey, ice, cold drinks...etc along with buying some pigs, vegitables, hiring locals to prepare the food, rented a speaker stack from the local Wat that would make a rock band proud, and cranked up a bunck of Mullam music so it could be heard 3 villages away.....200-300 people were there.

2. Had 9 chanting monks bless us on the morning of the wedding.

3. Hired a 50 piece marching band to come with me when I came to the village to get my wife-to-be for the cerimony. Had about another 100 people sing and dance all the way with me wearing my traditional Thai cloths. (Jok ko ban etc).

4. Had 2 relatives carry the stacks of 100 baht notes on large silver trays, (sin sot) (because red is a luck color).

5. Brought all the gold and jewelry (along with the receipts....a must) to include in the sin sod.

6. Finally we got married, all the money and jewelry was counted in public, then went upstairs to have another blessing and look at this pigs head for fortune telling....

Now we were married....I just looked at the expense as having a great party that is still talked about years later each time we return home.

Interesting enough,,,,jealousy is a integral part of village life. When an aunt announced her daughter was engaged to a Japanese man, that was much more wealthy than myself, and was offering a sin sod greater than what I have given. we simply sent congratulations and asked for the exact date of the party and wedding so we could fly home and give her a wedding gift...

Never heard anymore about that daughter.

Edited September 14, 2008 by old wanderer

[mgjackson69]

So the age formula for marriage is AF = AM / 2 + 7, where:

AF = age of female

AM = age of male

For me, I was 45, wife was 33 when we married. The formula would return

AF = 45 / 2 + 7

AF = 22.5 + 7 (round to 23?)

AF = 23 + 7

AF = 30

When we met, I was 41, she was 30...

AF = 41 /2 + 7

AF = 20.5 + 7

AF = 28

I guess I hit it pretty close

It seems to have worked anyway.

Concerning the sinsod:

By "the rules", since my wife had been married before, and had a child, I would be obligated to pay no sinsod.

Before I met her, my wife had bought a house. She had been making payments for a while when we met. After a while I started making the payments, and after we married I paid off the loan.

As it worked out, we each ended up paying for about half of the house. My wife agreed that my contribution was appropriate in lieu of paying sinsod, and Mom was fine with that as well.

My wife also brought some paddy land in Korat, a house in Nong Hin, and a piece of land just outside Nong Hin (sugar cane now, that is where we will build a house later) into the marriage, all free and clear.

[aussiecollin]

Mum said I did not have to pay 'cause I had slept with her already and taken her virginity.....very nice family.

[aussiecollin]

Cannibalism used to be a tradition in Africa, but is no longer. Female Genital mutilation is still practiced in many backward countries where the inhabitants have no moral conscience, but is far less than it used to be.

Traditions and cultures change with time. It's high time sin sot was put to rest. In essence it is just for the parents to show off to their neighbours, but sadly many Isaan mothers refuse to return it. As other contributors have said it is nothing short of buying your wife. Disgraceful and demeaning.

In India the girl's family pay the dowry....arranged marriages at that!

[egg6447]

Guys - don't pay Sin Sod for a bar girl, your missing the point.

maybe your missing the psychological piont. the sin sod maybe a face saving as her family may not know shes a bar girl so to pay her sin sod they carry on living the dream . pos??

[prakhonchai nick]

maybe your missing the psychological piont. the sin sod maybe a face saving as her family may not know shes a bar girl so to pay her sin sod they carry on living the dream . pos??

Unlikely the family are unaware that she is proficient in horizontal dancing, but you can be absolutely certain that the rest of the village know beyond doubt.

[Geekfreaklover]

The one question that no one has asked, and it is a very interesting question is;

Are there any Farang women on this site that have married a Thai Man in Thailand, and has the Farang ladies family received money at the wedding from the Thai groom's family???

Discuss.

[Boo]

that was answered by me & sbk on the building a house thread.

[Goinghomesoon]

I will be receiving SinSod from my Thai man when we do the traditional ceremony in January. Although neither of us have previously married we are a bit older than most (mid-30s) and have been living together for a while, so the amount will be modest, somewhere around the 200k mark. Although his parents were heavily involved in the negotiation of the amount (MIL wanted it to be much higher ) we will actually provide the cash on the day. They can load it up on the trays and return it to us in style and impress all the neighbours. They get to keep their status in the community and we get to keep our money. After all, it wouldn't be an auspicious start to bankrupt the in-laws.

[Geekfreaklover]

I will be receiving SinSod from my Thai man when we do the traditional ceremony in January. Although neither of us have previously married we are a bit older than most (mid-30s) and have been living together for a while, so the amount will be modest, somewhere around the 200k mark. Although his parents were heavily involved in the negotiation of the amount (MIL wanted it to be much higher ) we will actually provide the cash on the day. They can load it up on the trays and return it to us in style and impress all the neighbours. They get to keep their status in the community and we get to keep our money. After all, it wouldn't be an auspicious start to bankrupt the in-laws.

Thanks. What I was thinking was does the money go to your parents as would be customary for the family of Thai brides in Isaan?. Or if your parents are farang is the situation different. It appears that you get to keep the money for the home (your good husband and yourself) . From reading the stories it seems to me to be a gesture, part of the cermony rather than anything else. Tradition.

I need to check out boo's story, if i can find it.

Thanks.

J.

[Boo]

Never got paid sin sod, my mother in law asked how much I wanted as I was a never married, professional, childless women in her 20's so she beleived I was due one but once I had picked myself up off the floor laughing told her it was not my culture so did not consider it neccesary.

Copied from the building an in-laws a house thread.

But as an addition;

My husband & I have now been married for 5 years but only did it at the amphur so that too is another reason why no sin sod cause you usually have to do the whole shebang rather than just the amphur.

We actually plan on having a ceromony in Khon Kaen in march as we never did one when we legally wed & family can now attend from the UK so the old sin sod did get mentioned by my mil again but we again said no, even for show. We have been married for the past 5 years & now have a son so there will be no face losing (for anyone) by not showing one.

[tommyj4]

I will be receiving SinSod from my Thai man when we do the traditional ceremony in January. Although neither of us have previously married we are a bit older than most (mid-30s) and have been living together for a while, so the amount will be modest, somewhere around the 200k mark. Although his parents were heavily involved in the negotiation of the amount (MIL wanted it to be much higher ) we will actually provide the cash on the day. They can load it up on the trays and return it to us in style and impress all the neighbours. They get to keep their status in the community and we get to keep our money. After all, it wouldn't be an auspicious start to bankrupt the in-laws.

Does that mean a farang man could provide 3,000,000 baht on the day & get it back sneakaly at the end of the reception???..3mil would definatly give the family good face...

[Goinghomesoon]

MIL actually proposed selling a chunk of their land to raise the money for the sin sod. There's no way we would allow this as their land is their livelihood. So the compromise is that the groom will give the money to his parents before the wedding. They will present it to my mother as sin sod. Then it will be coming back to us as a wedding gift from my side of the family.

[rockyysdt]

I agree and this is not Sin Sod - this is rinsing someone for as much cash as they can.

Sin Sod is a way of showing your can afford to keep their daughter AND repaying the parents for raising a good daughter who is a worthy wife (and still a vrigin if we see this from Thai perspectives which is what Sin Sod is suggested under).

Guys - don't pay Sin Sod for a bar girl, your missing the point.

jim jam.

If you feel that poorly about a girl you're about to marry, surely shouldn't your comment be, "Guys - don't marry a bar girl, you're missing the point".

When you marry, you either trust her and or love her. If you don't love her, and you feel she'll always be just a bar girl in your eyes, then what's your purpose of marriage?

If you can't wholly accept a person and forgive their past indiscretions then there is no marriage.

[Geekfreaklover]

Most of the thai - Farang weddings i've been to have involved ex-bargirls and eldery, retirement age Farang blokes.

Some work out well, some don't. But the husbands seem a lot more happier than they would be with a western 'good girl' - whatever that is. A lot of the time Westerners are being taken for a ride in amoney sense, but they are aware of that, for the most part, and don't give a dam because they have their pension coming in every month. They have a better standard of life than lving in some retirement home - which would be more expensive and not a fraction of he fun. Good luck to them i say.

As for the younger farangs getting involved - watch out unless you have a good income every month.

[gpdjohn]

Most of the thai - Farang weddings i've been to have involved ex-bargirls and eldery, retirement age Farang blokes.

Some work out well, some don't. But the husbands seem a lot more happier than they would be with a western 'good girl' - whatever that is. A lot of the time Westerners are being taken for a ride in amoney sense, but they are aware of that, for the most part, and don't give a dam because they have their pension coming in every month. They have a better standard of life than lving in some retirement home - which would be more expensive and not a fraction of he fun. Good luck to them i say.

As for the younger farangs getting involved - watch out unless you have a good income every month.

Gosh, you make it sound as if all us retiree's are on our last legs, so to speak.

"eldery, retirement age"

"lving in some retirement home"

Come on now...

I'm retired, 54, married to a NON-BG ( family has twice the money I could ever hope to have) and ready to take on the world...

I live here because it is just that much better than elsewhere..for right now.

Some of us retiree's just might surprise ya!

[bergen]

I think all should stop categorizing girls by their past or present life.

There are good girls, and there are not so good girls.

It really does'nt matter where they come from, or what they did before...........................

and ditto goes with the men.

Edited September 26, 2008 by bergen

[Geekfreaklover]

Most of the thai - Farang weddings i've been to have involved ex-bargirls and eldery, retirement age Farang blokes.

Some work out well, some don't. But the husbands seem a lot more happier than they would be with a western 'good girl' - whatever that is. A lot of the time Westerners are being taken for a ride in amoney sense, but they are aware of that, for the most part, and don't give a dam because they have their pension coming in every month. They have a better standard of life than lving in some retirement home - which would be more expensive and not a fraction of he fun. Good luck to them i say.

As for the younger farangs getting involved - watch out unless you have a good income every month.

Gosh, you make it sound as if all us retiree's are on our last legs, so to speak.

"eldery, retirement age"

"lving in some retirement home"

Come on now...

I'm retired, 54, married to a NON-BG ( family has twice the money I could ever hope to have) and ready to take on the world...

I live here because it is just that much better than elsewhere..for right now.

Some of us retiree's just might surprise ya!

Sorry no offence intended!! Just trying to illustrate that it is somewhat more comfortable to plan for a future in thailand (or anywhere in the world) if you have that monthly pension coming in from the west. Also, I think that there is no better place, that I know of, to retire to in the world than Thailand.

also, you will be pushed to disagree that for an elder western man or women to settle down in Thailand would be a better option than to spend their later years in the west - where their children, chidren in laws are busy getting on with their own lives and there is no sense of comunity as there is in Asia. This is the point that I was trying to make. I was no trying to say that everyone that retires is an invlalid. I was just saying that the ones that are are better taken care of.

I personally heven't reached retirement age yet. So i have to work here in thailand. But when I reach the retirement age hopefully I would have made enough money to buy somewhere near the beach in thailand and settle down.

P.S: Why do you feel the need to tell me that your other half is a non-bar girl and has a rich family? Some guys i know are married to ex-bar girls with poor families and are getting on fine.