Places Or Things To Do To Jolt Me Out Of A Funk

[alcanthus]

Hi All,

This is my first post here and don't know where else this topic might go.

I'm visiting thailand for 4 weeks in feb partly for vacation and partly to check out Mahidol Univ, where I was accepted into a doctor of Public Health Nutrition program. I've been to Thailand several time before. I broke up with a american gal about 2 years ago and I'm still hurting pretty bad. I know that thailand

is the one place that will help jolt me out of this emotional quagmire. I know there are some great beach areas but I want to find some out of the way places. Or maybe go up to the back country

areas in the north. I'm not sure. I can speak the language some, which has helped open a lot of doors there for me in the past. I'd appreciate any ideas that might be totally outside my radar. I need to smile and laugh again.

[Prakanong]

Guy's on the rebound are often the most vunerable in Thailand and asre often the ones who end up in a hastily convened relationship not good for them - I have seen it a few times with pals.

Not saying this will happen to you of course but Thailand and emotional quagmires often end up even sticker.

Mahodol has a very good name in the healthcare field. I work in Pharma and Siriraj is flagged as one of our most important partners in Asia fo research.

[Onnutrd]

Hey Alcanthus,

Welcome to the game:)

I'm sure you'll definetly loosen up while you're in Thailand, and I've also heard a few good things about Mahidol University.

About the beaches, I've been to Samit Island a few weeks ago, and it was just fantastic. Beautiful scenery, great sunshine, nice waters, great food...all in all, it was just a great way to spend some time away from everything. My boyfriend and I found this really nice spot not too far from the main entrance, about 20 minutes walk, and there were only a few tourists around.

To get there you'll need to Rayong and then catch a ferry to Samit Island. The ferry ride is very nice aswell. If you need some more details, just send me a private message and I'll get my boyfriend to write some detailed info for ya'.

As the AMI song always went, "don't worry, just be happy"

[chownah]

Alcanthus,

Being "jolted" to resolve personal issues usually only works temporarily. Better to do some introspection and perhaps re-evaluation of your position and direction in life in general...maybe...maybe not.

Chownah

[alcanthus]

hey Chownah,

Maybe I sounded like I was looking for a quick fix, but I'm actually taking steps to transition in my life. This trip is part of that - I'm checking out the grad program I mentioned. I've been working in IT for 12 years in the US and realize it's more like prison than a way to make a living. The public health nutrition program is something I would be good at and feel passionate about. Taking it in a place I love seems logical. I've also gotten into a practice of meditation that is very profound yet subtle in it's effect on me. I think it's prepared me for being more open to possibilities and and a change of location as radical as thailand accentuates that. I still have a bit of 'fear of the unknown' in leaving a secure job, but I think this trip will get me over that because the prospect of being in a grad program with goals is energizing

Alcanthus,

Being "jolted" to resolve personal issues usually only works temporarily. Better to do some introspection and perhaps re-evaluation of your position and direction in life in general...maybe...maybe not.

Chownah

[toptuan]

Step 1: Go to Isaan

Step 2: Visit an orphanage, hospital, or poor rural school and volunteer your services

Nothing like meeting needs of someone less fortunate to jolt you out of self-absorption!

[zzdocxx]

Step 1: Go to Isaan

Step 2: Visit an orphanage, hospital, or poor rural school and volunteer your services

Nothing like meeting needs of someone less fortunate to jolt you out of self-absorption!

Agreed.

Two years is a long time ago. How old are you ? ? ?

[ignoramus]

A, toptuan's advice is spot on.

2 years is too long (she must have been something).

I too tend to re-live stuff, but then again am blessed with very selective memory - yours sounds really vivid.

I get perspective by focusing on the sad and tragic experiences of others (on tv, radio etc), long enough to ground myself anyway - i try not to overdo it.

There's lotsa tragic stories around and about.........listen to toptuan.

[mogoso]

I broke up with a american gal about 2 years ago and

Two years man. Its time to cowboy up and drag your arse outta that woe is me funk ya got yer self into.

Thailands full of delights, no not the long haired ones, but scenic and spiritual ones. I ain't saying not to go out and have a good time, but moderation might be the key word.

Lots of good diving in Thailand, visit some of the typical tourist things ya haven't gone to before. I like Nong Khai's sola kea coli (spelling) a whimsical place with many large statues of Hindu and Buddhist lore as well as some fun ones.

The area around Chiang Mai has lotsa stuff you might not have gotten around to yet.

Lots of nice islands. I've yet to getting around to the tiger temple if it still allows you to walk around with tigers. Lots of wonderful temples, beautiful scenry all around wherever ya travel.

Since you have language skill the country's there for whatever. I don't think you need a plan of action, just a smile and reaction to go wherever whenever till school begins.

[GuestHouse]

I broke up with a american gal about 2 years ago and I'm still hurting pretty bad. I know that thailand

is the one place that will help jolt me out of this emotional quagmire.

Turning up in Thailand with un resolved emotion problems has to be at the top of the 'Set yourself up for a crash' list.

Closely followed by unresolved debt and outstanding legal issues.

I'd sort your head out before you get to Thailand if I was you.

[wamberal]

Step 1. Set up an exercise program based around aerobic activities that you can enjoy - or at least tolerate. For me, that includes walking fast every morning, and swimming a kilometre every second day, and doing 3 kms on an elliptical trainer on the days I do not swim. Obviously build up to it if you are not exercising at all, get medical advice if you are over 35 or have any problems.

Step 2. Stick at it for at least 21 sessions, by which time (according to research) you are likely to start feeling the benefits enough to keep it up for ever.

Step 3. Make sure that you are eating enough fresh fruit and vegetables, mono-saturated fats, omega-3 oils etc from natural sources.

Step 4. If you drink, stay within or close to the recommended guidelines, and have two alcohol-free days a week.

Step 4. Get 7 hours sleep a night.

Step 5. Consider replenishing your spiritual resources. Looking for others less fortunate to help (as suggested above) is a good place to start.

[siamamerican]

Most of us experience depression at some point in our life. Your post opened you up to criticism from those that can't relate or unwilling to admit it. In the end, it is your reality and you are attempting to do something about it. Not sure if Thailand or the career change is the answer, but sure seems better than those that just complain and do nothing.

Speaking from personal experience, I've drastically altered the path I was on when it became a rut. Each time, it turned out well. Sure, at times I had to make short term sacrifices, but few things are free.

Good luck

[ray23]

Not an easy to deal with, I think you have the right idea. If not happy with your life then it's up to you to change in the ways you can. In the end you ar the one responsible for happiness or lack of.

The path that gets yuo out of that funk, will be yuor own personal one and will kead to waht workd for you.

Me it was moving and creating a new life here. Not easy and lots of mistakes but worth while.

What I do these days if ge ina funk happens when I spend to much time at home. I get my bike out and ride the country ropads through the small villages. Stop and chat with people, by the end of the day I'm fine again.

Proably works for me because when I ride that all I'm thinking about.

So the activity has to be one that works for you. I really enjoy the Issan people in the small villages, but thats just me.

[Chang_paarp]

Fist indulge yourself in a hedonistic binge, Nanna, Patpong, Pattaya, Patong ...

After you have seen to that distraction, improve your spiritual and physical self, as suggested above. See that you are far from being the most hard done by person on any number of levels.

Then settle into life as a student for a while and enjoy the change of lifestyle that will bring.

While you are on the self-improvement journey set some broad goals and some very specific and achievable goals to give direction to your study and outlook on life. You are making a big commitment as a change of life and lifestyle, so be prepared to encounter some unexpected personal reactions. There will be some that are more obvious than others, and some that you will not expect as your new life grows on you.

Most importantly try to enjoy the experience, change is exciting and scary. Big changes are doubly so.

[alcanthus]

Step 1: Go to Isaan

Step 2: Visit an orphanage, hospital, or poor rural school and volunteer your services

Nothing like meeting needs of someone less fortunate to jolt you out of self-absorption!

Agreed.

Two years is a long time ago. How old are you ? ? ?

Yea, I know 2 years is a long time. I'm 48. And she was something. I didn't believe in soul mates before I met her, but that's what it felt like with her. The situation was complicated and prone to over analysis by someone as left brained as me. I'm slowly moving away from that mind set to a more zen like one. A complete change of scenery will help. being in thailand before was kind of the only thing that got me to not think about her even when I was with her. I'm kind of lucky though in that I've really focused on nutrition and anti aging practices like meditation and get mistaken for someone much younger ( one of the reasons I'm pursuing the Public Health Nutrition program. I think I will look up an orphanage or such in the Issan area - I know a few people up there.

Steve

[MEGALITHIC]

Step 1: Go to Isaan

Step 2: Visit an orphanage, hospital, or poor rural school and volunteer your services

Nothing like meeting needs of someone less fortunate to jolt you out of self-absorption!

Agreed.

Two years is a long time ago. How old are you ? ? ?

Yea, I know 2 years is a long time. I'm 48. And she was something. I didn't believe in soul mates before I met her, but that's what it felt like with her. The situation was complicated and prone to over analysis by someone as left brained as me. I'm slowly moving away from that mind set to a more zen like one. A complete change of scenery will help. being in thailand before was kind of the only thing that got me to not think about her even when I was with her. I'm kind of lucky though in that I've really focused on nutrition and anti aging practices like meditation and get mistaken for someone much younger ( one of the reasons I'm pursuing the Public Health Nutrition program. I think I will look up an orphanage or such in the Issan area - I know a few people up there.

Steve

Advice from others regarding your emotional well being, when coming to the LOS, can be beneficial in helping you avoid the traps and pitfalls one encounters when deciding to move here for an extended period. Most of those traps and pitfalls normally involve thai women - of the wrong kind.

If you are planning to stay here for an indefinite period, or an extended period of time, eventually you will get into a relationship with a Thai lady. I'm not saying it will happen for sure but the chances are fairly high. May I offer some practical advice:

1. Learn the language - it makes communication much easier.

2. Do not get into a relationship with a Thai women for at least two years of being here. By doing that you will eventually meet one that's educated, has a decent job and is self supporting.

Boerdom is the biggest killer when overcoming a relationship - it gives you too much time to dwell on what once was. To overcome that boredom, do something that is completely different. Get certified in scuba diving and go on a extended dive safari to Thailands beautiful marine park - the Similan Islands.

[Chung noi]

If your looking for back country, may I sugguest Mae Hong Song. Many temples and alot of day trips around the area. We met some nice people up there. There is really no night life, but there is a cool night market by the lake. Buy a sack of popcorn and feed the fish. I bet someone will stop by and say hi. With a friendly smile you might get lucky and be asked up to a hill tribe village. I've seen some pretty views in the highlands and very nice waterfalls. I love the city in the morning with the heavy fog.

You might be able to get a good deal on a plane ticket, cutting down on the travel time.

Like I say I never seen any GOGO bars there, but there was a beergarden by the lake named chilies. Nice bunch in there.

*j*

[seonai]

What does 'in a bit of a funk' mean - I mean I can guess but I've seen it twice this week on TV

[Thaddeus]

Is electro-shock therapy still available?

[bingobongo]

hey Chownah,

Maybe I sounded like I was looking for a quick fix, but I'm actually taking steps to transition in my life. This trip is part of that - I'm checking out the grad program I mentioned. I've been working in IT for 12 years in the US and realize it's more like prison than a way to make a living. The public health nutrition program is something I would be good at and feel passionate about. Taking it in a place I love seems logical. I've also gotten into a practice of meditation that is very profound yet subtle in it's effect on me. I think it's prepared me for being more open to possibilities and and a change of location as radical as thailand accentuates that. I still have a bit of 'fear of the unknown' in leaving a secure job, but I think this trip will get me over that because the prospect of being in a grad program with goals is energizing

Alcanthus,

Being "jolted" to resolve personal issues usually only works temporarily. Better to do some introspection and perhaps re-evaluation of your position and direction in life in general...maybe...maybe not.

Chownah

if you are not running toward something then you are running away from something, in your case you are (by your own words) running away from the US, running away from your IT career and running away from a failed relationship (and that is just the 3 you mentioned)

you can run away from situation(s) but you cant run away from yourself, learn how to cope rather than run or you will be running from perceived bad situations (that probably are not that bad to begin with) and hence yourslef until you are 6 feet under

my point is, that even through all the turmoil/changes with your location to LOS you are still feeling restless, that says more about the person than the place (whether it be the west or the east)

save the "passion" for good sex and good food

Edited January 15, 2008 by bingobongo

[thaiclan]

I'm kind of lucky though in that I've really focused on nutrition and anti aging practices like meditation and get mistaken for someone much younger ( one of the reasons I'm pursuing the Public Health Nutrition program. I think I will look up an orphanage or such in the Issan area - I know a few people up there.

Steve

As well as helping the orphans how about peddling your anti-aging techniques to some of the farang in LOS. From viewing experience many could benefit from adopting your meditation, CRON or antioxidant expertise.....

[seonai]

Thaddeus... are you suggesting I'm mad just because i don't know what 'funk' means as opposed to muzac

[Xangsamhua]

If you're going to be based in Bangkok, the Mercy Centre in Khlong Toey can use volunteers. Run by Fr Joe Maier's Human Development Foundation, they look after AIDS victims, homeless kids, provide schooling, community development, etc. in Bangkok's most notorious slum area.

[seonai]

Xangsamhua - how sweet and I hope many people come to help the organisation

[alcanthus]

hey Chownah,

Maybe I sounded like I was looking for a quick fix, but I'm actually taking steps to transition in my life. This trip is part of that - I'm checking out the grad program I mentioned. I've been working in IT for 12 years in the US and realize it's more like prison than a way to make a living. The public health nutrition program is something I would be good at and feel passionate about. Taking it in a place I love seems logical. I've also gotten into a practice of meditation that is very profound yet subtle in it's effect on me. I think it's prepared me for being more open to possibilities and and a change of location as radical as thailand accentuates that. I still have a bit of 'fear of the unknown' in leaving a secure job, but I think this trip will get me over that because the prospect of being in a grad program with goals is energizing

Alcanthus,

Being "jolted" to resolve personal issues usually only works temporarily. Better to do some introspection and perhaps re-evaluation of your position and direction in life in general...maybe...maybe not.

Chownah

if you are not running toward something then you are running away from something, in your case you are (by your own words) running away from the US, running away from your IT career and running away from a failed relationship (and that is just the 3 you mentioned)

you can run away from situation(s) but you cant run away from yourself, learn how to cope rather than run or you will be running from perceived bad situations (that probably are not that bad to begin with) and hence yourslef until you are 6 feet under

my point is, that even through all the turmoil/changes with your location to LOS you are still feeling restless, that says more about the person than the place (whether it be the west or the east)

save the "passion" for good sex and good food

Well, the relationship was not a failed one. Without going into details it was kind of a lost cause because of circumstances. I'm not in Thailand yet, as you seem to imply. I wouldn't call trying to remove myself from an occupation which is stultifying to my spirit running away. I've always felt very 'alive' when in Thailand and feel a resonance with the culture and people. Maybe that would change after living there, but there is only one way to find that out.

A mentally healthy person would not choose to remain in an environment that they feel is not right for them. And one good way for breaking out of a rut is a change in environment. I truly believe this is a good thing to do. I'm taking a risk, sure, but I don't want to be old and look back at my life and not believe I took some risks.

Steve

[chicowoodduck]

I broke up with a american gal about 2 years ago and I'm still hurting pretty bad. I know that thailand

is the one place that will help jolt me out of this emotional quagmire.

Turning up in Thailand with un resolved emotion problems has to be at the top of the 'Set yourself up for a crash' list.

Closely followed by unresolved debt and outstanding legal issues.

I'd sort your head out before you get to Thailand if I was you.

Geez, if you really are from Minnesota, I think your head is already on straight because it's got to be -30 below zero and snowy there right now and you've got the good sense to move your butt to a warm climate. As for your emotional baggage? You WILL get over it, unless you are planning on starring in the Titanic II movie where love NEVER fades away.

[uptou]

If you wanted to visit somewhere a little different than the average town theres always Mae Sot on the burmese border.Most of the faces you see around the town are burmese,& you could also pay a visit to this place: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6418645.stm ,maybe even offer to volunteer.Volunteer english teaches seem to be sought after there aswell.

Dont go there for the nightlife though,& be careful about having to listen to wanabe mercenary types in bars,& all the rest of the BS.

I heard from quite a few people that alot of the NGO,s are hard to get in with in Mae Sot,& dont really give too much away as to what they are actually doing there,but maybe there is an obvious reason for that.

[alcanthus]

Thanks for that idea. I sent an email to the website offering any help they might need. Since I'll fly into BKK initially, this is about the best advice I've seen for me. Most of the advice has been really helpful, but because the internet by it's nature forms a very incomplete picture of someone describing their situation and has to be filtered through someone elses personal reality, some advice has been off the mark. Thanks!

Steve

If you're going to be based in Bangkok, the Mercy Centre in Khlong Toey can use volunteers. Run by Fr Joe Maier's Human Development Foundation, they look after AIDS victims, homeless kids, provide schooling, community development, etc. in Bangkok's most notorious slum area.

[toptuan]

Thanks for that idea. I sent an email to the website offering any help they might need. Since I'll fly into BKK initially, this is about the best advice I've seen for me. Most of the advice has been really helpful, but because the internet by it's nature forms a very incomplete picture of someone describing their situation and has to be filtered through someone elses personal reality, some advice has been off the mark. Thanks!

Steve

If you're going to be based in Bangkok, the Mercy Centre in Khlong Toey can use volunteers. Run by Fr Joe Maier's Human Development Foundation, they look after AIDS victims, homeless kids, provide schooling, community development, etc. in Bangkok's most notorious slum area.

Good for you, Alcan! Would you do us a favor, and keep us posted on your experience?