Stupid Questions With The Smart Answers

BOY: May I hold your hand?

GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy. **

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GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me! **

BOY: You love me... **

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GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

BOY: Sure, what's your phone number?? **

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GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.

BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple **

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GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY: Don't you ever want to improve?? **

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BOY: I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL: How soon?? **

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BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!

GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there?? **

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SHARON: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??

TRACY: I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. **

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MAN: You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting???

MAN: NO, because you make me sick. **

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WIFE: You tell a man something; it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. **

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MARY: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?

PETER: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly. **

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Girlfriend: "...And are you sure you love me and no one else?"

Boyfriend: "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday". **

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Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"

Pupil: "The moon".

Teacher: "Why?"

Pupil: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it". **

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Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"

Pupil: "A teacher". **

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Waiter: "Would you like your coffee black?"

Customer: "What other colors do you have?" **

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Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot!"

Sam: "It's a family tradition".

Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Sam: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".

Teacher: "What about your mother?"

Sam: "She's a woman". **

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Tom: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"

David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated". **

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Teacher: "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"

Student: "Brotherly love". **

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Teacher: "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

Sam: "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook". **

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Patient: "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"

Doctor: "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died". **

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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

One Student: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time." **

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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

One Student: "Because George still had the axe in is hand." **