Tourists Discover Bangkok

[Ijustwannateach]

REUTERS - Jerry Brown, 46, and his wife Susan, 42, were used to adventurous travel ideas. They'd already been to Viet Nam, Egypt, and parts of India and China, even travelling with their two children. After a few lazy weeks on the beaches of Phuket, Thailand, however, they were approached by a local travel agent who offered to take them all on a tour of the "secret and undiscovered real Thailand," for 1500 baht (about USD50) a day.

"It seemed to fit in our itinerary perfectly, because we could sign up for the 2 day or 3 day tour and we'd already be back in Bangkok," said Jerry, who is an experienced electrical engineer from Houston. "We really didn't know what to expect- boy, were we surprised!"

On the first morning, the tour guide, a young woman named Nok, took the Browns and a group of about 15 others to Victory Monument Station on the BTS, an overland public train system.

"You should have seen all the people! They were everywhere, and it was like, 7:30 in the morning or something- we barely made it in time so I'd just thrown on my shorts and cutoff tees and sandals," said Susan. "The funny thing was that they were all wearing such formal, stuffy dress- long sleeved shirts, dark slacks, neckties, even jackets and coats! Their shoes looked hard as bricks. It wasn't like Thailand at all! What could all those people be doing?"

"We thought there would be more sand," said Eddie Brown, 12. "The place is really hot and people were staring at us when we took our shirts and shoes off like we do at the beach. We got on the train and it was so crowded- Mom tried to take a picture of all the crazy people in the fancy shirts but our guide told her not to. I'm hungry."

"One of the hardest things is that no one here seems to speak English," said Jerry. "I mean, we were walking along on the street and I asked a vendor, 'Could I get a plate of fried rice?' and he had no idea what I was saying. Apparently- my guide says anyway- they call fried rice something like Cow Pod here. Can you imagine it? Cow Pod! Why can't they just speak English?!?"

_________________________________________[more to follow]

(not a real news article)

[sbk]

Practicing your creative writing skills there IJWT?

[Ijustwannateach]

Let's just say I had an interesting tourist moment on the train this morning and it gave me an idea...

[soundman]

I wanna eat a cow pod!

[Boo]

like the cow version of the matrix, they grow all the cows in pods & implant the cows with memories of growing up in green feilds eating lots of grass!!!

Sorry been working all morning & brain has gone a bit daft

[Cobalt60]

Jeez, another thing pigs dont go "moo" cows do, dont they know anything out here ? why say "moo" when they know I mean pork ????

[siamesekitty]

Your article sounds like something out of The Onion!

[Doza]

Was it supposed to be funny or make any sense?

[chameleon1977]

Was it supposed to be funny or make any sense?

This was kinda my thoughts too.

[sbk]

A few humorless people here, eh?

[mrbojangles]

Gives one pause to think this is the calibre of topic started by a Mod. Says a lot does'nt it!

A TV nic usually says alot about someone. Maybe admin could change yours to cm-miserable

[britmaveric]

Gives one pause to think this is the calibre of topic started by a Mod. Says a lot does'nt it!

A TV nic usually says alot about someone. Maybe admin could change yours to cm-miserable

Also points to the calibre of topics the whinger has started too!!!!

Very amusing IJTWT, please continue.

[onlooker]

They were probably expecting sand as they were told they'd be visiting Rattanokosin Island. Easy mistake to make, could have happened to anyone.

But yeah, a nice idea for a spoof article but not really in the 'NottheNation.com' class. Keep practising the writing skills IJWT.

[Cobalt60]

here you best have the missing smiley from my post, just incase the "misery's" think I was being serious about pork and muu and animal noises etc.

always look on the <deleted> side of life eh

[lazeeboy]

They were probably expecting sand as they were told they'd be visiting Rattanokosin Island. Easy mistake to make, could have happened to anyone.

But yeah, a nice idea for a spoof article but not really in the 'NottheNation.com' class. Keep practising the writing skills IJWT.

you mean its fiction

[JetsetBkk]

I wanna eat a cow pod!

Or even a cow pat...

[Ijustwannateach]

Thanks for all the comments & compliments; it's a quick & early effort but I'm glad it amused some. Will continue tomorrow when I have time.

[PeaceBlondie]

Just like tourists from Houston, who probably haven't been to the NASA Manned Space Center since the astronauts lived in Sharpstown, in west Houston. Or the San Antonians who never go to the Alamo, but have been twice to Zurich and once to Rome. Or the folks in Corpus Christi and Browsnville who pride themselves on never going to Padre Island. But oh boy, when they see Phuket or Walking Street in Pattaya, they know that's Thailand! Besides, where are all those teak-carrying elephants to be seen on Sukumvit and Silom?

[Briggsy]

You need to develop your characters more. For example, you could give them some idiosyncrasies. The father has piles and needs to buy cream or the son associates Asians with knife crime and is constantly scanning for blades. etcetera etcetera.

[samran]

I bet the dad is going to get led astray by a lady boy - like we didn't see that one coming!

[Ijustwannateach]

There're limitations within the news article format- to make it believable I have to put in mainly what a real news reporter might conceivably write (even with such a weird story).

However, I've been playing with a way of expanding the story so that I can have a bit broader range- don't think I want to get too dark with it, though...

"S"

[Ijustwannateach]

I bet the dad is going to get led astray by a lady boy - like we didn't see that one coming!

Oh, no, you gave it away! Now I'll have to think of something better!

[realthaideal]

"A few humorless people here, eh?"

Humor is actually best left to those who can do it. Otherwise it falls flat and leaves everybody else saying "<deleted>?!"

[PhilHarries]

Well I found it amusing and almost believable. Took me back to the early '90's when I worked in a site support office for a MNC. It was suprising the amount of people who came out from the UK and were amazed by the paved roads. I think they expected the office to be a palm thatched shed on the beach.

Keep it coming, we need more humour and less whinging on TV.

[canuckamuck]

Great start, I am eagerly awaiting the next segment. I was a bit confused by the I'm hungry line in the second last paragraph.

You should definitely get them in some line up where people keep butting in front of them. That's always good for a laugh.

[sbk]

A few humorless people here, eh?

However, if a normal member had posted such, shouts of troll, troll, troll, there would have been a scramble from the mods to close it, true don't you agree?

Depends on the member, doesn't it? A member with a proven track record of posting trollish posts, or of posting false stories and implying they are true would most certainly have problems. But a member of long-standing with a proven track record of posting useful and helpful information would be lauded for being funny. I suspect your only problem is the fact that it is a moderator who dares post something like this and if it were, say, a member with over 4,000 posts of over 3 years duration, your response would be very very different.

[canuckamuck]

It is not much of a surprise why others don't feel motivated to do something original. The nail is being hammered down here as well.

Conformists reek from their own stagnation!

[Pepe']

I'm so confused...

[PeaceBlondie]

But realthaideal, maybe he's too busy teaching to attend a writer's group! Maybe he doesn't teach advanced writing! Besides, we're here, along with dozens of other writers (even a tour book editor!). Let's give him more ideas:

If they're from Houston, a town which has almost no tourist attractions, they could compare it with the lonely obelisk of the monument for the Battle of San Jacinto. They surely could complain that they saw no elephants....

[DamianMavis]

Wow, bunch of grumpy old men here....

Anyway! This silly story reminds me my 2 friends from Canada that came to visit, they were Chinese blood but 100% Canadian. They had it firmly in their heads that Thailand was all Jungles and huts and that all Thais run around half naked chucking spears and whatnot. So I brought them to MBK...... they kept commenting on how there were so many "Japanese" at the mall (we were being squeezed from all sides by countless THAIS), they refused to accept that the mass of people were ACTUAL Thais shopping and living life as busy modern city dwellers. Same when I brought them to Sizzler, they assumed all the Thais eating western food there were actually foreign asian tourists.... ugh. No matter what I said they wouldnt accept it.

Damian