Bar girls are good

[NathanV23]

Nat,

Yes I think in Oz and other places where it is a legalized, monitored, relatively safe and controlled industry, its a completley different story. But in places like the US and Thailand, where it is unregulated, it is a far different game. The difference I think is that for the most part, in the US you would have many options before putting yourself in such a position. Where on the other hand, in LOS, there are many many girls in the industry who do not want to be there, but almost do not have a choice. This isn't all of them. Some have money and want more. But many of them come from very poor sitautions with little hope. In that respect, I think everyone should cut them a little slack.

[Boo]

Hi, I've been reading this thread all week with interest & think that so many people have put so many different views that we could go around for ever on the subject.

I have lived in LOS for over 5 years now & my family have never had the chance to visit me, when asked what I think about thailand, specifically the sex industry, I always give the same answer. It's a developing country, with no state benefits, pensions, social security, low wages for the average worker & an unbelievably high education standard for even basic jobs, that someone in the Uk would only have had to pass high school to get in England. So sometimes the ladies that work in this industry do it to make more money to have,  what they consider, a better life.

I believe this to be the main reason for them to be doing this kind of work but I also explain that the government & thai's in general do not do anything to make the situation in their own country better & that, although bar girls are at the lowest wrung of social acceptability, are also accepted & treated with kindness & minimal judgement by other thais.

After reading the slanging match that has gone on between some of the forum members, it's clear to me that some guys who are with ex-bar girls, have kind of pulled the wool over their own eyes with regards to their partners former profession & in doing so make themselves out to be either very niaeve or just plain foolish.

Anyone who has been in Thailand for more that 5 minutes knows that bar girl means prostitute & replying on a forum with the heading "bar girls are good" & then talking about your wife does give the impression that she was in this former profession. I think asking if your family knew of her former job was a valid question as it would be good to know what their reaction was & if you had explained to them the social & economic situation in her country, I think there are many men out there who will in the future have this to deal with & your honest answer could have helped them.

I know of a few relationship that have succeeded betwen bar girls & farang guys & I know of a few that haven't. If you & your partner are happy, then, so what if she was a bar girl before, just enjoy each other.

I didn't put this here to start another slanging match but I would appriciate some honest answers to the original question.

[pnustedt]

Hi Boo - I guess you're referring to me?

I thought that I did answer Brian's questions honestly. I said that my family was aware of my wife's background  but that I didn't use the labels that he uses, i.e. hooker and prostitute etc. when referring to my wife.

Some of my family have visited, in particular my daughter from the UK by a previous marriage, has been out with my wife and I, and we have taken her to see the bars in which my wife has worked, although of course they've changed quite a bit. - No big deal, just a part of life's rich tapestry!

By the way, before you or Brian ask, my daughter is gay and gets on great with my wife and they have an  honest and open relationship. - OK?

[Charlie]

To begin with, I have nothing against bar-girls. To those who have married them, I respect your choice, and wish you all the best. The main issue here is a matter of public impression and their way of perceiving things, as the case may be. In Malaysia, the stigma of marrying a Thai wife is very prevalent. The first and only question in their mind, " Was she a ' Chicken ' (slang for hooker). Why are they having such unreasonable thoughts? I will give you the answers bellow:

Let's go down south Thailand. " Hatyai " the third city - famous for its sex related industry/services. Any given day, more than five thousand Malaysians and Singaporeans cross over to this fun city... and definitely not for a cup of tea. Some go in by cars, buses, flight and some just walk in. During week-ends or holidays, all the rooms are fully booked. To be fair, some family members go in for shopping and eating. It is a normal norm if the husband goes on a business trip way up north, the wife would say, " Do not try to sneak in there or else! ". Just to ponder, getting married to a Khon Thai wife has some problems for Malaysians. I closing, I am glad to say that I have a few friends in Malaysia who married Thai wives and are living happily ever after. They are all doing very well in business. All the best.

Regards,

charlie

[chonabot]

Hat Yai is a place ( as you say) pretty much set up for Malay & Singaporeans, probably the only place I have felt a negative/racist attitude towards myself as a westerner.

You made a good point in as much as we aren't the only foreigners catered for in this sector.

[NathanV23]

I believe this to be the main reason for them to be doing this kind of work but I also explain that the government & thai's in general do not do anything to make the situation in their own country better & that, although bar girls are at the lowest wrung of social acceptability, are also accepted & treated with kindness & minimal judgement by other thais.

Have you spoken with a non bar girl Thai woman? They don't usually have very nice things to say about the 'poo-ying kai dtooa pew dum'

[Boo]

pnustedt,

I apologise if you got the wrong impression, I did not indend to offend you, there were so many slag off posts between yourself & brian that your answer got lost to me. I'm happy for you that your daughter & wife get on so well & that she has been accepted into your family.

The point is was trying to make was that your posts were not so clear at the offset

I have told you that I met my wife in a bar - the rest are your assumptions.

&

Firstly "Bar Girl" is synonymous with a girl you meet in a bar, not, as you assume "prostitute".

But as was discussed, bar girl, to most farang & thai, IS synonimous with prostitute.This is why I was confused at to the issue. That has now been cleared up. Thanks

NathanV, I know that non bar girls would never think that that they would ever take up such a profession but, as with most thais, they would never do or say anything to someones face to cause offence. What is said behind closed doors though is a different matter!

[Roger13]

So How do you do two separate Quotes

- with two white boxes - like Boo has just done?

[pnustedt]

No offence to me Boo and I think that I understand exactly what you are saying.

Indeed, I accept what you say about bar girls and their synonyms. I am in HK at the moment where Thais are synonymous with either prostitutes or domestic servants. Westerners (gweih loh's here) are synonymous with ethics and good governance. I believe that in Thailand Westerners are synonymous with money. Little wonder that the government want more of it.

Try transposing the word "synonymous" with "prejudiced" and I think that you would then find it less acceptable. I find it very unacceptable, especially when it is accompanied with the sort of extremely disrespectful behaviour that I witness in Bkk.

[Blackandwhite]

I told my family honestly about my wife and her profession. Although surprised they were fine, I did explain about thaialand the things people seam to have to do to get anywhere in life. Infact my Mother had a bit of a slanging match with my then English girlfreind that I finished with after going to Thailand with my pals. She the girlfreind was sick at the thought of me marrying a Thai Whore ( Not my words hers ).

My Mother slapped her and told her that she was no different to any of the Thai girls in Thaialnd except she was stupid enough not to charge for the sex she had had on one night stands in England as english girls do.

My Father was differnt in one way, He said '' Sunshine if you love her, we will love her. Just be carefull. And he then said when you next go to LOS can I come !!!!

My Mates were all okay a bit surprised as I never had a shortage of really pretty girlfreinds in England, soon their surprise turned into interest and it wasnt long before they were also out in LOS. Often falling for one lady in particular.

One thing I belive is that Thais are very mentally advanced people and they think and act in ways that we are not able to. I think that is why we do not always understand the things they do.

[Pinkster]

One thing I belive is that Thais are very mentally advanced people and they think and act in ways that we are not able to. I think that is why we do not always understand the things they do.

Simon, do not kid youself, it has a name. Culture.  

[buasaard]

seam

girlfreind

Just to understand Simon, are you english? I see in other posts you always write girlfreind instead of girlfriend.

[Blackandwhite]

I am English, I have a rare illness called Neurofibromatosis. One of the effects of it are Dyslexia, as it seams to agrivate people from now on I will write my posts in a word doc first then spell check them, copy and post them.

[Pinkster]

Why? I have no problem understanding your posts.

[Blackandwhite]

Why? I have no problem understanding your posts.

Thank you

[TizMe]

I have no problem understanding your posts.

Me neiver, lett de ######s hoo wont two kumplane bout spelin goe too de teechers fourum.

[buasaard]

Apologize Simon , I didn't mean to offend you.

I am disabled (I had polio when 3 years old and going with a wheelchair)too and I can understand.

I asked only because there are  a lot of people that pretend to be someone else in forums.

Apologize again

Claudio

[adr1313]

Oh yes, let us all praise the noble bar girls!

How self-sacrificing they are...willing to degrade themselves in bars all night waiting for money from stupid, filthy old farang.

What a difficult time they have. Whereas most poor, un-educated Thai women will work for around 5000 baht a month at KFC, McDonalds and the like, these incredibly noble bar girls are willing to do what they do so they can send their impoverished families every cent of their earnings.

Please!!!

[chonabot]

Ummm , so is that a yes or no?

[Charlie]

Thai bar girls seems to be a very hot import for Malaysia. Hundreds and hundreds of Thai bar girls crossed over to Malaysia to work in hotels, bars and other " hanky-panky " joints. They came in as tourists, and therefore had no work permits. Eventually, they were caught, couldn't pay the heavy fine, sent to jail, and later deported. In this connection, I regret to say that every " young Thai girls (whether bar girls or otherwise) who cross over to Malaysia will be subjected to thorough inspection of their passports, documents, questioning ..... and will always be under suspicion on the true nature of their visits. Recently my good young friend took his Thai girl back here, and they were subjected to what I have described above, .... and finally were allowed to go in. I forgot to add that the bar owners will also be prosecuted. For me I enjoy ballroom dancing.

Regards,

charlie

[Davidcharles]

Don't you think that we are all PROSTITUTES?.......

We all have to sell ourselves to make a living. one way or another. Do we not?.

A good whore who gives value for money is every bit as good as anyone else, in my opinion.

And of course, one would be reluctant to tell Mum & Dad that you were marrying one. Because they are more than likely to be narrow minded biggots!!!.

(Wonder how many guys who slag Bar Girls off, are commiting Adultery???.  Just a thought.......)

[taxexile]

you mean mummy and daddy actually let you out at nights?

[andy_sabaidee]

ummmm....yeah but these days who can afford not to...??

Peace out

[Heng]

Hi, I've been reading this thread all week with interest & think that so many people have put so many different views that we could go around for ever on the subject.

I have lived in LOS for over 5 years now & my family have never had the chance to visit me, when asked what I think about thailand, specifically the sex industry, I always give the same answer. It's a developing country, with no state benefits, pensions, social security, low wages for the average worker & an unbelievably high education standard for even basic jobs, that someone in the Uk would only have had to pass high school to get in England. So sometimes the ladies that work in this industry do it to make more money to have,  what they consider, a better life.

I believe this to be the main reason for them to be doing this kind of work but I also explain that the government & thai's in general do not do anything to make the situation in their own country better & that, although bar girls are at the lowest wrung of social acceptability, are also accepted & treated with kindness & minimal judgement by other thais.

After reading the slanging match that has gone on between some of the forum members, it's clear to me that some guys who are with ex-bar girls, have kind of pulled the wool over their own eyes with regards to their partners former profession & in doing so make themselves out to be either very niaeve or just plain foolish.

Anyone who has been in Thailand for more that 5 minutes knows that bar girl means prostitute & replying on a forum with the heading "bar girls are good" & then talking about your wife does give the impression that she was in this former profession. I think asking if your family knew of her former job was a valid question as it would be good to know what their reaction was & if you had explained to them the social & economic situation in her country, I think there are many men out there who will in the future have this to deal with & your honest answer could have helped them.

I know of a few relationship that have succeeded betwen bar girls & farang guys & I know of a few that haven't. If you & your partner are happy, then, so what if she was a bar girl before, just enjoy each other.

I didn't put this here to start another slanging match but I would appriciate some honest answers to the original question.

Nice summary.  

The start of the thread was rather amusing as well.   Keep it going.

Seeing that there is no societal "net" for disfunctional Thai families (for example those that borrow funds at 10-20% interest per month to buy motorcycles and trucks with their home or sole piece of real estate as collateral) with super low income levels, I think the falang and bar girl relationship/marriage phenomenon "is good."   It effectively takes care of many members of the segment of society that would be a continual drain on a nation's resources and gov't funding (similar to those who are content to live off the welfare system in many first world countries).

[Begs]

I think Bar girls are ok. I have met some really nice people, i am not narrow minded enough to slag them off, nor will i sing the praises of thier profession, its just what they do.

People are people, who really gives a shit what we do? I am in Tokyo, they call them Hostesses here, Most are white, American , Canadian, Australian, British,Russian, etc,etc, it does not seem such a big issue here, it's just life. Who cares what other people do?

The biggest <deleted> i ever met in Thailand where other farangs, not bargirls. I knew an American guy in Pattaya who would go out of his way to keep telling people that his wife had never worked in a bar ( as if anyone really cared!), he was so worried what other people would think, (who cares what other people think?), it was really funny, he would tell total strangers in a bar that his wife was Thai, and that she was not a bar girl. The guys that had lived there a few years knew exactly where he had met her, the guys that where on holiday thought he was nuts. Nobody cared one way or another.

[chonabot]

I was led to believe that they met in a library!

[kwiz117]

seam

girlfreind

Just to understand Simon, are you english? I see in other posts you always write girlfreind instead of girlfriend.

I hvae seen mnay tmies poepel do sepllnig msitaeks.

All you need is the frist letetr and the lsat letetr to get the maennig.

Hpoe U, Elisngh man hvae comomn sesne.

   :cool:

[Begs]

Chonabot,        Would it matter?

[chonabot]

Too early for a little tea and Irony , Begs ?

How could it matter?

Nobody cares one way or another , as you stated.

[markt]

I knew an American guy in Pattaya who would go out of his way to keep telling people that his wife had never worked in a bar ( as if anyone really cared!), he was so worried what other people would think, (who cares what other people think?), it was really funny, he would tell total strangers in a bar that his wife was Thai, and that she was not a bar girl. The guys that had lived there a few years knew exactly where he had met her, the guys that where on holiday thought he was nuts. Nobody cared one way or another.

There are loads of bods like that.