Finding A Thai Girl For A Serious Relationship

[chrisofphoenix]

Didn't know if this would be the correct forum to post but here goes. I have a vacation planned in Thailand (Bangkok and its surrounding areas) for 3 weeks in May. I'm in my early 30's, single, no kids, no previous marriages, and looking to meet a Thai girl (not for prostitution purposes) potentially when I'm there. I've always been attracted to Asian girls (this coming from an American caucasion) and have really admired those who are from Thailand. Not that I want to jump into a marriage...but I'd like to meet a native Thai girl who is interested in a long term monogomous relationship that could potentially lead to marriage. My question is this: are there any reputable internet dating sites that can jump start a relationship for me and not rip me off? I'm not looking for the classic "mail order" bride either. Just a web resource, like Match.com, that can connect Americans with Thai people for an actual relationship. So that when I arrive in May, I could have at least some friendships established. There seems to be a million google results that come up when i do a search for internet dating with Thai girls and most are questionable. Any help would be appreciated.

[percy2]

Didn't know if this would be the correct forum to post but here goes. I have a vacation planned in Thailand (Bangkok and its surrounding areas) for 3 weeks in May. I'm in my early 30's, single, no kids, no previous marriages, and looking to meet a Thai girl (not for prostitution purposes) potentially when I'm there. I've always been attracted to Asian girls (this coming from an American caucasion) and have really admired those who are from Thailand. Not that I want to jump into a marriage...but I'd like to meet a native Thai girl who is interested in a long term monogomous relationship that could potentially lead to marriage. My question is this: are there any reputable internet dating sites that can jump start a relationship for me and not rip me off? I'm not looking for the classic "mail order" bride either. Just a web resource, like Match.com, that can connect Americans with Thai people for an actual relationship. So that when I arrive in May, I could have at least some friendships established. There seems to be a million google results that come up when i do a search for internet dating with Thai girls and most are questionable. Any help would be appreciated.

Hope you are wearing a bullet proof vest.

If you aren't a troll your in for some stick.

Cheers

[howtoescape]

All depends on how quick you jump into relationships, if you jump str8 im youll find someone in a hour or 2, if you like to bide your time and make sure she is Miss Perfect then i dont fancy your chances.

Im always wary of Thai women who specifically hunt out farangs.

[uptou]

So whats the chances of finding a girl on an internet dating site in thailand,whos on there for largely "prostitution purposes"?

Just get yourself out to issan & find yourself a poor little brown,flat nose girl working the fields.

Edited February 16, 2008 by uptou

[GuestHouse]

You are going to be in Thailand for three weeks - My advice is enjoy your holiday, the chances of you meeting a woman to your specification are pretty near zero.

Even if you had the good fortune to meet a woman who was not 'in the trade' and was seriously looking for a long term relationship you've got so many cultural hurdles and lessons to learn you'd almost certainly wind up in a mess of one sort or another.

One simple issue 'expectations' is enough to floor you.

On the other hand, the beaches are great, the food is fantastic and there's more culture than you can shake a stick at.

Enjoy those things. Miss Right might just happen along (and I reckon the chances of that happening are no less than the chances of you finding Miss Right by actively searching her out against some pre-written specification).

[GuestHouse]

Im always wary of Thai women who specifically hunt out farangs.

I reckon its not a bad idea to be wary of Farang men who specifically seek out Thai women.

[siamesekitty]

I've stayed away from chatrooms and dating sites myself, as I'd once ventured into some a long time ago and was repulsed by the seemingly predatory nature with which farangs were searching for girls. I'd be bombarded with tons of guys all asking me my a/s/l, and I could almost hear the drool hitting the keyboards. I would assume many decent girls would be similarly put off, although there is another type that actively seeks such attention.

However, to answer your question, I'd suggest a networking site such as Hi5, which is very popular in Thailand. It's much more open than Facebook and people don't seem to mind adding total strangers. You're also more likely to get normal people who are looking for friendships rather than those who are specifically seeking out sugar daddy farangs.

[uptou]

If the op is not a troll,i would say it would be difficult to really get to know a local lady well enough to start a relationship here in only 3 weeks,especially considering the lack of really fluent english speaking ladies (& shyness).

[AlexLah]

Just go upcountry and make sure you speak some Thai.

Lovely girls there and they are mostly down to earth kind of.

Just looking for a good person that can take care of them and the family.

Are you looking for real love? Forget it.

Most of Thai girl will treat you nice as long as you provide support to her and her family.

Please do not fall into that trap.

I know many couples and 80% divorce after a few years.

Alex

[chrisofphoenix]

If the op is not a troll,i would say it would be difficult to really get to know a local lady well enough to start a relationship here in only 3 weeks,especially considering the lack of really fluent english speaking ladies (& shyness).

I'm not looking at starting a relationship in just 3 weeks while I'm there...just looking at the web for help to maybe kickstart some friendships months before. And yes, I know the motives among Thai girls as well the motives among farangs.

[chrisofphoenix]

I've stayed away from chatrooms and dating sites myself, as I'd once ventured into some a long time ago and was repulsed by the seemingly predatory nature with which farangs were searching for girls. I'd be bombarded with tons of guys all asking me my a/s/l, and I could almost hear the drool hitting the keyboards. I would assume many decent girls would be similarly put off, although there is another type that actively seeks such attention.

However, to answer your question, I'd suggest a networking site such as Hi5, which is very popular in Thailand. It's much more open than Facebook and people don't seem to mind adding total strangers. You're also more likely to get normal people who are looking for friendships rather than those who are specifically seeking out sugar daddy farangs.

Thanks Siamesekitty. The Hi5 is a start. The real question is 'are thai girls looking for one thing thing from a potential american mate?' (the one thing being financial support)

[siamesekitty]

Not necessarily. Some girls are just farang-crazy.

[pumpuiman]

I would suggest to the OP.....patience, patience, patience.

It took me a solid month of hard work, chocolates, flowers, surprises and chivalry...before my (now) wife would even have coffee with me!!

A literal eternity before I held her hand.

I hope you get some good suggestions on internet sites....I think it's a great idea.

Ignore the posts saying it's impossible....it's possible to meet a nice girl in Thailand, but courting a nice girl may take a long, long, time. Getting to know the girl over the internet..telephone..may be a step in the right direction. There are many English speaking university graduates who will be computer savvy. I doubt you'll be sealing the deal on a three week holiday....so sign up for frequent flier miles if your serious.

I would seek out chat rooms..not specific dating sites...to possibly meet a girl, or someone in Thailand who can point you in the right direction.

Good luck.....and learn some Thai, I never would have succeeded without it.

[jetjock]

I think it is very difficult for a tourist on as short visit to meet girls that are not in the trade or strictly out for your money unless you have some local connections within Thailand. I think you are off to a good start getting on Match.com before you arrive as I have heard that it is one of the better places for internet dating and a lot of college educated Thai girls can be found on that site. Finding out what type of work a girl is doing in Thailand will give you much information as to her education level and how she occupies her time. You should remember however that just because a girl is educated and has a decent job that it does not mean that she is not going out with a farang just for his money. IMO most of the girls that the average tourist will meet in farang areas have very 'black hearts' to put it politely.

In my experience, most well educated Thai women who have come from very reputable Thai families and have decent jobs do not hang out in farang tourist places and are usually not looking for farang boyfriends or husbands. This does not mean that it is not possible to meet Thai women that have good hearts and have high standards and would make a great gf or wife but it does mean that they are much more difficult to find than you might ever anticipate. Many of us posters on TV have met and married wonderful Thai women so it it obviously possible but perhaps you will find it very difficult on a 3 week vacation unless you are a very lucky guy. Good luck

edited 4 typo

Edited February 16, 2008 by jetjock

[howtoescape]

Im always wary of Thai women who specifically hunt out farangs.

I reckon its not a bad idea to be wary of Farang men who specifically seek out Thai women.

Thanks for the advice, though most farang men i meet like this are good for a drink or 2, but are not usually what i look for in a partner.

[pumpuiman]

I just realized I had a chat room bookmarked.....pantip.com....they have an link for an English language chat room.

[Maigo6]

Some girls are just farang-crazy.

And some are just plain ole' crazy.

[Maigo6]

I'd be bombarded with tons of guys all asking me my a/s/l, and I could almost hear the drool hitting the keyboards.

Probably wasn't drool hitting the keyboard Siamesekitty.

The old bkkchat was a bit like that, well a lot like that actually.

[siamesekitty]

ewwww

funny you should mention that chatroom...

[Maigo6]

ewwww

funny you should mention that chatroom...

Funny thing about Bkkchat was, 98% of the chatters with female nicknames were in fact Farang men!

[howtoescape]

ewwww

funny you should mention that chatroom...

Funny thing about Bkkchat was, 98% of the chatters with female nicknames were in fact Farang men!

farang internet ladyboys

[torrenova]

I've lived here quite a few years and though the one month to hold a hand thing may exist somewhere, it doesn't seem to be the norm amongst the younger generation. I'm not talking "working" girls here you understand.

Three weeks ? nowhere near enough time to even think about it and if you come on holiday trying to make sure that you have a list of email addresses to write to when you get back I think you're going to be disappointed.

To give you an example. I know a number of girls who would like a western boyfriend but they are not interested in guys who come to get laid. They are also not really interested in guys who can come to Thailand for a couple of weeks once or twice a year. to be taken seriously by them, they would like you to live here or spend some significant time in Thailand.

I give you a classic example. A quite beautiful 27 year old girl who has a good education (not top university by any means but not everyone has the money here) and who I have known for 4 years has trouble getting a guy because she is not willing to drop her knickers in the length of time most guys are prepared to give her before they want to get her into bed. Whilst I have no doubt she would be a great companion for 3 weeks and even if she really liked you, I would hazard a guess that it would take a second trip within a reasonable timeframe before she would consider taking things that far.

Now if you are here for 3 months or only away a month or two then you would have a chance to develop a relationship with her. She has a good job, speaks very good english and is rightly proud of what she has achieved. Unfortunately, most of my friends who are serious already have partners and the rest just like to play the field. You just don't have the time.

So I'd suggest, as it seems obvious that you have not even been to Thailand before, that you enjoy your holiday and if Miss Right accidentally comes along then take that as a bonus. Beware though that girls like waitresses and hotel receptionists get chatted up all the time and their initial pleantness is part of their job.

I briefly looked at that Hi5 website out of curiousity and there you have some girl with a nice picture and you get comments like "take you top off" and "nice tits". Now forgive me but it doesn't sound too promising.

[bulphi]

Don't believe the ones who said it isn't possible to find the right one from a website.

This is absolutely correct to get to know someone deeply before to go in Thailand. Otherwise, you'll have higher chance to meet during your three weeks there only the ones interested by your wallet and a better life in Europa. That kind of woman are very active in some famous places like Pattaya, Phuket, Koh Samui or Patpong in BKK,etc..

First you must know exactly what you are looking for and start to establish a good and regular contact. (mail, phone, sms, skype, msn, etc..)

Believe me, this is a hard work to establish a trustfull relationship. If most of the men are looking for free sex, some are looking for a serious relationship.So did I.

For the woman, some are looking for your money and some others are serious, nice and honnest. As said in post earlier, both can have a good education. There are also woman still virgin and looking for the only one man for the life and they scared also (not only us) to meet someone only interested to have her in the bed and who will never come back after the 3 weeks holidays.

Only with regular talks and step by step knowing each others, you will understand what type of woman you are chating with.

This takes time. For example, in end of Apr07 I started to contact 4 thai women. Not more because it takes time to build the very good relationship and both to be more opened for serious talk.

After 2 months of daily contacts with them 4, I had a clear pictures about all of the four. I will not go into details, but just say that I met the one in BKK enf of October (6 months after the first contact !).

She was at the airport as planned and we spent 3 marvellous weeks in Thailand and Laos.

We agreed to not have sex during that vacation period and I did respect this agreement as a result to strengthen our relationship.

Then I saw her again in Europa end of December and she will come again in March.

I clearly was lucky, but one important thing is that I went 3 times in Thailand before. Then I was very aware about thai woman before to contact some with the help of website.

I probably would not have that perception without that 3 previous trip.

I would suggest you to never contact a girl from Pattaya (99% prostitute), take your time and maybe you'll be as lucky as I was.

Bulphi

Edited February 17, 2008 by Totster
Removed formatting so easier to read

[wamberal]

Stay in good hotels, talk to the waitresses in the coffee shop, and the girls at reception (by "talk", I do not mean "chat them up") - just normal conversation.

That would be your best chance of meeting somebody nice in three weeks, but I agree with other posters, you would have to be patient, and be prepared to come back again a couple of months later. If you do meet somebody this way, the best thing would be just to get her address, phone number, etc, and stay in contact when you go back home, before arranging to come back again.

[submaniac]

I'm not looking for the classic "mail order" bride either. Just a web resource, like Match.com, that can connect Americans with Thai people for an actual relationship. So that when I arrive in May, I could have at least some friendships established.

I would not recommend "Hi5" for 'dating purposes'. It really is more of a social networking site, like 'myspace'. It is more high school or young university students keeping in touch with their friends, sharing pictures, etc. rather than for people to find their 'match'. My cousins have it and they forced me to open an account (because they wanted to add to their number of friends). And yes--THAT'S RIGHT THEY FORCED ME, they jumped me, and held a knife to my throat at the computer and made me open up an account!!! Please don't be the internet equivalent of the old guy with candy asking the school girls to take a ride with him in his van.

If you are looking for a "Thai equivalent" of match.com you could try www.thailovelinks.com (They used to advertise on Thaivisa.) My impression is that the people are sincere and are not bargirls looking for a farang sugardaddy. The proviso is that I think alot of it are young people (both boys and girls) just putting up an advertisement for fun, and to 'casually' meet other people for dating. In other words they are not out there specifically to find a life partner. They may just want dates, or friends, or have the 'novelty' of being able to tell their friends that they are writing to a farang from the U.S. or wherever. If you are in your 30s and looking to find a 'partner' you may be a bit more 'serious' than they are.

If you do use it, use common sense. The beautiful 18, 19, 20 year old that find on there, she probably has no problems finding boyfriends on her own, or even the picture may be that of a model's used to 'entice' you into being her sugardaddy. Even if she is sincere, she will probably get alot of attention from other men, so you would need to be the 'cream of the crop' as it were. If you look for the older, more mature ladies, with realistic photographs, you will have a greater liklihood of success. Put your profile up, start corresponding, and see what happens. As in the rest of life, there are no 'guarantees'.

Also, it has been said before, and I will say it again, if a girl is specifically 'searching' for a farang, then I would be cautious. There are parts of Thailand where there is poverty (out of respect I won't put down specific area names, as I don't want to insult anyone) and marriage to a farang is one of the only outs. These are the same regions where the 'bargirls' come from too--simply because there are no other options at home, and they need to support their families. And if she is with you just to escape poverty or the country, I can't say your chances of 'longevity' are too high.

Education in Thailand is not the same as in the West, and a poor family really cannot afford to educate their children (which is a pity because education would have been the way out of poverty). With not many jobs in certain areas, and not many opportunities, some girls will come down to BKK, or Pattaya, or Phuket--areas with alot of tourists--as bargirls, or to 'land a farang'. Often because there are no other options. Those girls will have probably have 6 different boyfriends in 6 separate countries, sending her money. Beware of a girl that is also too 'forward', i.e. willing to hop into bed with you immediately or says that she 'loves' you after a short period of time. Regular Thai ladies are more conservative in the West, and it will take some time before she will open up to you--that's why 3 weeks really isn't enough.

Also keep in mind that most respectable Thai ladies are not necessarily looking for a farang boyfriend, or to 'escape' their homeland. While I will not go so far as to say that having a farang boyfriend or husband is stigmatizing or shameful in Thai culture, it is also not something that your average Thai parents would want to 'encourage' either. The average Thai parents are not sitting around with fingers crossed muttering to themselves "geez, I hope my daughter finds a farang husband". Farang/Thai relationships are not a 'bad' thing but not a 'normal' thing either, let's put it like that.

I think there is alot of media hype that Thailand is a poor country, and the girls just want to 'escape'. Not true. Yes, the average Thai income is not that high. But keep in mind that the cost of living is not that high. So while a Thai's income may be considered poverty in the states, they are actually middle class in Thailand. And like any 'middle class' girl she is not going to just up and leave her friends and family just for money.

[PadThaiGuy]

You need to make some friends and have them introduce you to possible matches.

Most of the girls/guys you meet as a tourist are in on the game.... willing to be nice untill they can gat somthing out of you.

[dumspero]

Your chances of finding a suitable mate by going to Thailand on vacation for the first time and meeting someone you've corresponded with over the internet are very slim. Not quite lottery slim, but something like that.

Honestly, this may sound dumb, but I recommend frequenting the local Thai restaurantss or markets where you live. That way you can find a Thai who is not on the game, not too desperate and who you can be reasonably comfortable will like you for who you are.

But to go to any foreign country on a first time basis and have hopes of knowing what's really going on just doesn't seem realistic. Again, certainly some guys find happiness that way but just seems like a long shot.

Best wishes.

[britmaveric]

AOL Chat - least thats what my mate says. (Met quite a few uni students, former flight attendents, radio dj ect)

[zzdocxx]

Stay in good hotels, talk to the waitresses in the coffee shop, and the girls at reception (by "talk", I do not mean "chat them up") - just normal conversation.

That would be your best chance of meeting somebody nice in three weeks, but I agree with other posters, you would have to be patient, and be prepared to come back again a couple of months later. If you do meet somebody this way, the best thing would be just to get her address, phone number, etc, and stay in contact when you go back home, before arranging to come back again.

Just wondering what others think of this idea -- I have met some very friendly young women working in 4 and 5 star hotels in Thailand. Many speak passable English and have Uni educations, but I have always wondered about their intentions -- seeking a real relationship or something else?

Anyone?

[Beardog]

I would avoid the online scene if your looking for a NON WORKING GIRL. When I came up from the states I found out the girls in Pattaya are very skilled at hooking up with your atm action. The classic is Hi darling or darkling( means sucker in Thai language- not literally but in reality).

If you want to find some decent company(non working variety) try going to normal places to look for taking a girl out for dinner a drink or coffee.It does not have to be the usual $30.00 a plate meal, The girls are Thai & are used to tasty inexpensive Thai food & breaking out the big bucks will only entice The atm big eye types(maybe not always) The good girls can be found :working at a mall- an optometrist shop flower shop cart vendor Beautician book store, many regular type businesses.. Any of the other places OTHER THAN THE BARS OR GO_GO'S It doesn't take much time to meet someone eager to join you for a nite out or breakfast or company. In fact the toughest part I found is being selective on who you pick to cruise with as most want to have some fun & company.

It is easier if you find a gal that has some English speaking skills.

When i got the GO-GO get your Yah Yah's out of my system it took strolling into a beauty salon & I have been hooked up now for over 3 years.Now I am not saying it is a perfect relationship(I do not think they really exist....only in ones mind) As I am not perfect it would be hard to find the perfect women.

Thailand you can find a nice gal that is sincere or a shark with big teeth looking at your ATM card with hunger. You will have to make the right choice on that, But I trust being in your 30's you have been around a bit.

There is a saying in Thailand "Up to you"

solely what you make of it.

Plenty of good girls out here....Takes more to say no than yes.

And I did play the field for a while when I moved here

good luck & Enjoy your stay!!!!

If you were 50 you would probably be moving here......I did & glad I did!!!!!