Caucasian Women Dating Asian Guys

[kat]

uhm, first of all I thought the "smallest condoms" report was in India. Secondly, of the two Thai boyfriends that I have "been with", size was very nicely average, and I mean it when I say nicely, and size wasn't an issue anyway, because they knew exactly how to make me, uhm, happy. I cannot say the same of one farang man that I was with in LOS, although I'm sure they exist, but surely not everywhere, but I stopped caring, quite frankly.

Overall, of the Asian boyfriends that I have had including here in the states, one was actually smaller than average but we still had a brilliant sex life, so go figure. We only broke up because I moved to go to graduate school. In terms of actual equipment, what I've heard from Thai women is that farang males are not as hard as Asian men, so I guess there are different standards to quality assessments all around.

Size or quality of sex was never an issue with Thai men in LOS, only lying and the ridiculous "face" games were problematic.

[kat]

Oh and while we are on the subject, Thai condoms are the smallest in the world, even smaller than those available in Singapore. Many Western hotels in Thailand, so I have been told, have to especially import Caucasian size condoms....

????? Must I whip it out and beat the farangs over the head with it?

Don't even bother with these guys. If they really want to know, just send them to asian-man.com of a straight Chinese-American guy that has a porn site of him doing all of these European and Western women. He's not effeminate, small, or erotically challenged. I feel like he really is doing a public service to dispel the stupid stereotypical comments about Asian men.

[kat]

bump.

[Plus]

Looks like Female Caucasian and Male Asian relationships are alive and well in Thailand

I think you get somewhat distorted picture here. This board has what, ten thousand active members? In this thread you get comments from half a dozen who "made it".

I venture to say that for each one of them there are dozens of women who couldn't find any success with Thai men and gave up.

Personally I know about equal numbers of women who were here with western partners and women who were with Thai partners, but lots and lots more who didn't have any partners at all. By comparison it's nearly impossible to find a western man not in a relationship here, except by choice.

Of course it's down to individuals but statistically speaking a newcomer would have snowball's chance in hel_l. If you throw lots of snowballs, some will stick. Those are the ones posting in this thread, which makes them exceptional and worth of respect and admiration, btw. But it's not for everyone.

Let's say only one in five women finds a partner here. Would you like these odds?

[donna]

i would actually say its less than those odds, Plus.

[Prakanong]

"Now I am wondering even more why (according to the Straits Times) Caucasian women are leaving Singapore in their droves in search of lurve. Are the sort of women that go to live in LOS somehow different, and with different expectations, to those who go to Singers?

I don’t expect you to be able to answer that and perhaps I should have posted this question in a Singapore forum. Incidentally, the reason I didn’t was that I have seen similar threads in Singapore forums and they all ignore the cultural issues in favour of, obsessive discussions about, you guessed it, size of genitalia. Thankfully, as I suspected, the conversation has been more well balanced here."

You hear and see lots of caucasion women on Singapore forums and the likes complaining they can not get dates here.

Most caucasion women here are trailing spouses but you do see more and more single women around placs like Harry's (Boat Quay) etc.

Then you get articles in the Straits Times saying what Singapore girls expect from their boyfriends - carrying their bloody handbags for them? I can go the opening door's, chair out and paying for them but if one asked me to carry her handbag more than just while she needed to do something she would find it on the ground and me gone.

Then the Straits Times posted pictures of Singapore guy's carrying GF's bags up and down Orchard?

No wonder 25% of singapore men who got married in 2006 married foreign women - I nearly caused a riot in my MBA Marketring class when I pointed this out and the English lecturer asked the Singaporeans why ;-)

[Plus]

i would actually say its less than those odds, Plus.

I'm not good at calculating bets.

"Less than those odds" means one in four or one is six?

[donna]

one in 50 at a guess.

[Plus]

Sad, really.

[donna]

yes and no. many women come here for completely different reasons than men. i came for work reasons and wasnt really looking for a partner. i dont like the 'beachboy' types - been there done that - preferring a more educated man on a closer level to me. i prefer someone who can speak english, who has travelled and who understands the western ways.

having said that, i do speak thai, i have travelled, and i do understand the thai ways (not all of it of course, but i did immerse myself whilst in thailand). so its not all one sided.

im not the kind of person who looks for only a particular skin colour. i would rather look at the whole person. i get confused when people say 'i only like thai men/women' as i do find that racist in a way.

i have male and female friends in thailand, and can honestly say that the relationships that my western female friends have with their thai partners is a lot more stable and a lot less feisty and needy than those between western males and thai partners. (before you all jump on me, yes, i may be generalising here, but i AM stating my own observations)

[submaniac]

i have male and female friends in thailand, and can honestly say that the relationships that my western female friends have with their thai partners is a lot more stable and a lot less feisty and needy than those between western males and thai partners. (before you all jump on me, yes, i may be generalising here, but i AM stating my own observations)

I actually think your observation has some basis in reality here, Donna. The farang male/Thai female relationships I have seen, are a bit more on the 'turbulant" side. Not to say they all are. But I do think that the image Thai woman are as subservient, and demure as they are played out in popular conception is definately wrong. Thai woman can be feisty and are very similar to Western women in that they don't like to take crap from anyone. Cross a Thai woman...and you will see exactly what I am talking about.

[donna]

thai women are no different to western women. western women are just more up front about things and say what we think at the time rather than letting it stew.

[girlx]

Lots of Men mutilate their members in order not to live up to the Asians are smaller rumor..Pretty full on!

this is true where i live. the boys around here pay around $1000 to get penile extensions. not entirely sure how they are done (?!) but they look horrific (a friend allowed me a peek). seems a bit dangerous to their health, and i don't think they "work" as well after. funny thing is, i agree, the thai men i have been with (with one exception) have not been any smaller than the farang men.

[submaniac]

thai women are no different to western women. western women are just more up front about things and say what we think at the time rather than letting it stew.

Women are women, no matter where in the world-they don't like taking crap. But having witnessed Western women blowing up (at me) and witnessing Thai women blowing up, I can tell you that the Western women will try to keep it in check, while the Thai woman will get really scary. With the Thai woman she may let it build up until it becomes a volcano, and becomes the Tazmanian devil.

Thai women also have a unique way of getting men to do what they want. A western will usually go "I want you to do this", "I am putting my foot down", "do this or else". Very straightforward, direct. The method of the Thai woman is to use brainwashing to allow the man to believe that what she wants, is actually what he wants. And that it is all his idea. Very crafty.

Girlx...so where can I get some implants.

[stanny]

Alright alright, a bit off topic but here it is. It is obvious that Caucasian men coming to Thailand has all the Thai girls drooling after them. Lets not get into that. My question, where can an Asian man go to, to get Caucasian women drooling after them?

[kat]

Looks like Female Caucasian and Male Asian relationships are alive and well in Thailand

I think you get somewhat distorted picture here. This board has what, ten thousand active members? In this thread you get comments from half a dozen who "made it".

I venture to say that for each one of them there are dozens of women who couldn't find any success with Thai men and gave up.

Personally I know about equal numbers of women who were here with western partners and women who were with Thai partners, but lots and lots more who didn't have any partners at all. By comparison it's nearly impossible to find a western man not in a relationship here, except by choice.

Of course it's down to individuals but statistically speaking a newcomer would have snowball's chance in hel_l. If you throw lots of snowballs, some will stick. Those are the ones posting in this thread, which makes them exceptional and worth of respect and admiration, btw. But it's not for everyone.

Let's say only one in five women finds a partner here. Would you like these odds?

Sad, really.

Not as sad as some of the "relationships" I have seen in LOS with foreign men and Thai women. Actually, I didn't find it difficult at all to find sex or a partnership in LOS, and in fact dodged several of them. I found it more difficult to find someone that I could trust and have something else in common other than sex. And with the farang guys, not even the sex was worth it. However, things were a lot different with travelling guys, and the younger expat crowd in Laos.

[EnqueaIstarion]

There are many answers to the opening question. One I have not yet seen here, is simple to see, but long to listen, if you would have the time.

When we are born a journey begins. For all but a special few, this journey begins with "dependence" on those who brought them into this later world. As we grow older and wiser the journey continues. In caucasia, or that which many people call the west, the journey continues towards "independence". Yet some would say a further and higher journey still is "interdependence". Alas, many in the west do not make that third journey.

Interdependence and the realization of how we are all linked together, could lead to a better future for all. Yet in these times this is often not so.

In Thailand interdependence is stronger than in those of the west. The need for independence is foregone, and they see a third path, or as some would say "middle path" of interdependence more clearly. This lies between dependence and independence, as the word "inter" or "between" would show. This was taught in his time by Lord Budha, as it taught today, by He who holds the royal throne. In Thailand the fit between man and woman is strong throughout their journey in life.

For those of caucasia, interdependence has all too often been forgot. Forgotten between men, as it is between women, and between men and women. For this there are many reasons. Yet these alone do not explain the difference of caucasian man and woman in Thailand.

One reason is that the woman of the race of caucasia fought strongly for her independence in the years of the 1800s and 1900s, during her quest for "equality". While equality may be a noble cause, it was often confused with the desire for "independence". Independence was acheived - often more intensely than they would have perhaps wished for, had they stood back. And so it was acheived as some would say at high cost. Many women of the west can now see only the second of life's possible journeys and not the third - such is their hunger for independence.

For the man of the west, his path often moved on. He realized his error in not treating his woman as equal. This opened up a new path, and gave way to the importance of and a desire for interdependence, and of giving more to his woman. In turn he progressed to the third level and saw the choice of a third journey, once he saw through the error of his ways.

Such remains the need for independence among many woman of the west, and the need to assert themselves, that they remain blinded to the third path. Yet this path, the man of caucasia has often learnt, and he can follow alongside the woman of Thailand. Though sometimes the Thai man overlooks equality in his error, he too still sees the path of interdependence.

So the man of caucasia and the man and woman of Thailand often seek the path of interdependence together as their goal. Sometimes the woman of caucasia stands alone on her path in Thailand, so strongly does she seek her hard fought independence and her rights as an individual. Caucasia woman can neither bear the inequality the Thai man believes, nor the interdependence he seeks. Two of many gulfs lie between them, for most but not all.

Yet there is hope, and this too will pass, as some learn to cross the divides and see new paths. Many women of caucasia are starting to see that in fighting so strongly for independence they may have missed another path. Many Thai men are starting to see that giving more equality might stengthen the bonds of interdependence. As they, like their caucasia man, learn from their mistakes, this time will pass.

And the woman of caucasia will one day walk more often hand in hand with the man of Thailand, as you ask.

For myself, I await those who would travel beyond this third path...

Edited March 5, 2008 by EnqueaIstarion

[kat]

Enqueal:

Very nice effort and explanation, but this is about Caucasian/Western women dating Asian guys, not another explanation - albeit a glorified one - of why Western men don't date Western women in Asia.

Secondly, your explanation is still very one-sided. I think you recognize the struggle for equality of Western women, but you tend to grossly categorize it as a negative, e.g. '"independence vs. interdependence". Most of the modern relationships that I know of in the West are very interdependent, because both spouses are building a life together by pooling the fruits of their labor. That is in stark contrast to some one who is completely economically dependent, and secondly, someone who is completely independent of a relationship.

Nice commentary, but you oversimplified.

[EnqueaIstarion]

Nothing is entirely negative, and nothing is entirely one thing vs another.

Yes in words sometimes meaning is lost, and the picture fades.

Some of the words I wrote you read as I wrote them. Some you did not. 2500 years ago one spoke to over a thousand and they all heard in the same way, in what you might call Makha Bucha. 2000 years ago another spoke and 5,000 heard as one. In these times it is rare, and never thru "modern technology or progress" is true understanding acheived.

Yet to tell the story in full would take longer than many would listen.

Enquea Istarion

Edited March 5, 2008 by EnqueaIstarion

[kat]

Yes, you are right, because some of your most important messages are not stated outright, but implied. You make a great deal of assumptions, and then couch it in spirituality. I see some value in what you are saying, but there are still many assumptions in what you are saying that simply serve a very common "un-spiritual" viewpoint.

[Boo]

this isn't a discussion on a 2nd path, 3rd path or garden path. There are literally millions of thai men in inderdependant relationships with thai women just as there are millions of the same relationships between foreign men & women.That a few thousand men chose/need to have a wife from thailand makes no difference to this very simple fact. Whatever way it needs to be dressed up there will always be a certain type of man who needs to place blame on their inability to move with the times on women, I have yet to hear a women complain about her increased equal rights or that fact she no longer needs to depend on anyone shoudl she so chose

So lets not get waylayed in a totally pointless discussion that has been done to death.

[EnqueaIstarion]

If you have yet to meet such a woman perhaps the words of Joanna Murray Smith may interest you:

"... We have been taught to applaud our own rights, but now we need to question how the volume of that applause has rendered mute the rights of our children..."

Further, through a Thai man's eyes, that the loud applause might often be the opposite of Thai "kreng jai" or "Saam Ruam", and is perhaps further reason why the Thai man and caucasian woman walk together less often, as was asked.

Of course as you say, we are many in our diversity, and no one rule holds true for all.

Edited March 5, 2008 by EnqueaIstarion

[ade100]

I have yet to hear a women complain about her increased equal rights or that fact she no longer needs to depend on anyone shoudl she so chose

I haven't heard a woman complain about that either. However I have observed many people, men and women, taking steps to limit and even extiguish their freedom. It could be a co-dependent relationship, an oppressive religion or ideology, a physical dependence or a behavioural pattern that they are not prepared to break out of.

[donna]

thai women are no different to western women. western women are just more up front about things and say what we think at the time rather than letting it stew.

Women are women, no matter where in the world-they don't like taking crap. But having witnessed Western women blowing up (at me) and witnessing Thai women blowing up, I can tell you that the Western women will try to keep it in check, while the Thai woman will get really scary. With the Thai woman she may let it build up until it becomes a volcano, and becomes the Tazmanian devil.

Thai women also have a unique way of getting men to do what they want. A western will usually go "I want you to do this", "I am putting my foot down", "do this or else". Very straightforward, direct. The method of the Thai woman is to use brainwashing to allow the man to believe that what she wants, is actually what he wants. And that it is all his idea. Very crafty.

Girlx...so where can I get some implants.

submaniac, you are a man after my own heart! i have been saying this for years and you are the only man to come out and say it like it is! go forth my friend. go to nana, stand on your soapbox and tell the world this 'secret' that we have known about for years! scream it from the rooftops and let people hear it! im blown away.

ok. now i will get off of MY soapbox.

with regards to implants, sorry to go off topic again, many of the thai men get pearls implanted into their penises. its not unusual for thai men who have been in the navy to do this. there is also the 'benz' which is a cut that the doctors (ive heard about it in the south only but it could be widespread, i dont know) put a cut in the top of the mans penis that resembles a 'benz' logo. when the man is excited, it sort of opens up like a flower(ish). it is said that this is done to increase pleasure for the woman. ive not seen it for myself, but i do know a guy who apparently has a 'benz' as well as a number of pearl implants. sounds positively gross to me. if i saw that coming towards me i think i would have to question it!

[ade100]

You hear and see lots of caucasion women on Singapore forums and the likes complaining they can not get dates here.

Most caucasion women here are trailing spouses but you do see more and more single women around placs like Harry's (Boat Quay) etc.

Then you get articles in the Straits Times saying what Singapore girls expect from their boyfriends - carrying their bloody handbags for them? I can go the opening door's, chair out and paying for them but if one asked me to carry her handbag more than just while she needed to do something she would find it on the ground and me gone.

Then the Straits Times posted pictures of Singapore guy's carrying GF's bags up and down Orchard?

No wonder 25% of singapore men who got married in 2006 married foreign women - I nearly caused a riot in my MBA Marketring class when I pointed this out and the English lecturer asked the Singaporeans why ;-)

So the plot thickens. While Caucasian women are leaving the island because they can't get a date, Singaporean men are busy marrying foreign women. I wonder who they are marrying. I suppose they must be selecting women from other Asian countries rather than Western girls.

[kat]

Possibly Burma. A lot of Chinese men from both the mainland and Taiwan are increasingly looking for fair-skinned and relatively impoverished Burmese women.

[dkitti]

I would like to add my 2 cents. I met and married a Thai man in the US 34 years ago and are still going strong. I have to admit I am partial to asian men and I don't care for caucasian males. We plan on retiring in thailand and his family just loves me to death. We have 2 children and I would not trade for anyone else. Granted he has been in the US for over 30 years and that may be the difference. He is kind, considerate and understanding. So I would say go for it but do your homework first.

Donna