Men Surely Have No Idea...

[adjan jb]

[quote name='RueFang' date='2008-03-08 09:04:12' post='1860082'

I know it is hideous for the men to be on the receiving end of it

It's much more difficult for the children.

[intumult]

PMS / PMT can be as bad as IBS pains in the lower abdomen. They can make you grumpy / testy and da_n unsociable. But, hey, women sometimes suffer and a decent man would appreciate that fact.

Have PMT? Grouchy? Mai Bpen Rai. It is part and parcel of life for some, though, I agree, not pleasant for the sufferer and for those occaisionally on the receiving end.

[Jorinda]

Also, is it possible for birth control pills to make PMS worse? I have been taking a specific kind for a few months now, and I was fine, but recently I have started to notice that I have become more irritable while PMSing. I am stressed out with other things, so maybe that has something to do with it. I might try and change my pills to a kind that can help control my PMS better.

I was on the nuvaring for about a year for PCOS and it brought out the batshit insane part of me periodically. It would range from extreme depression, robot like apathy, irritability, suicidal thoughts, social avoidance etc. The worst part was I didn't feel like I was in control of anything that was going in inside my head and I had no logical reason to be like that. It got to the point where I ripped out the nuvaring mid cycle and said screw it. I haven't been on it for about a year, switched to the patch, and since then I haven't had one emotional problem. I think SSRI's aren't the solution, and I've had some medical professionals try to push them on me (my primary doctor though said medication is really only necessary if "you're about to commit suicide or Jesus is talking to you through the TV"). Changing medications, exercising more, eating better and being more aware of what influences my moods helped more. I had some symptoms of PMDD before the birth control, but the nuvaring blew it out of porportion and the patch eliminated it. It varies for everyone though, just don't underestimate the power of the artificial hormones on your emotional state or think you should have to deal with it.

As far as guys, my boyfriend during the nuvaring period was understanding, but only to a point and would hold things against me if I was unstable and said/did something he didn't like. The current boyfriend has had the joy of never seeing me like that so I have no idea how understanding he'd be.

Oh with the coffee, I've had to cut out a lot of it. For awhile I restricted myself to 1 cup of green tea a day and nothing more. If I drink more it starts to cause problems. I recommend white tea if it's available, it tastes pretty similar to green tea but has even less caffiene than green tea.

[kat]

Yeah, I'm with you Jorinda. At 18-years-old I had to get off of the lowest dosage birth control pill because they were causing serious side affects with my vision and heart palpitations. Of course decades later I wonder about the filler ingredients in those pills and if they contained gluten. All of my PMS hormonal craziness and pain are completely resolved with diet and exercise, no coffee or caffeine.

White tea is great, and I think it is even a bit milder than green tea, but with even more antioxidats.

[bonobo]

I don't think we men really understand, in our heart of hearts, what it is like to go through PMS. I know I resented how my ex-wife acted when she had it, and from what I have read, she wasn't even that bad. Intellectually, I understood it, but emotionally, I wondered why she was not mentally tougher (and as she was a doctor, I expected her to handle it better.)

Since my divorce, I have tried to understand women better by reading and talking (hence why I sometimes lurk in this forum.) And while I think I am more understanding about PMS now, it really remains somewhat of a mystery to me. I just have to accept it as a fact and give whomever I am with space and acceptance.

[GuestHouse]

I don't know why men should have to truly understand this issue - Be able to spot the onset and have an avoidence strategy in place by all means and maybe send choclates by courier... but 'understand' ... Nah.

I say bring back the Boudoir - Which interestingly takes its name from the French verb 'Bouder' - to 'Sulk'

[sbk]

Actually, I agree with you GH, men don't need to understand the feeling, but they do need to understand when it happens to not take it personally, to show some compassion and to not sulk.

[Sheryl]

Rue Fang,

Have you noticed any improvement with the natural Progesterone?

[MrIrrisistable]

I think it is all in the head.

As another poster mentioned, my wife only gets hornier over this period...no pun intended...or maybe just a bit....so I think it is simply something which you get used to doing every month and now like smoking, the habit is impossible to break.

Why not ry a meditation camp for 10 days over this time frame and see if that works. If it does not help you, think buddhism and how much it would be helping your husband.

[kat]

We should send you to a troll meditation camp and see what effect that has on your posts.

[Goinghomesoon]

He he Mr Irrisistable I get the same effect as your wife but my partner is horrified at the thought...sigh.

[MrIrrisistable]

He he Mr Irrisistable I get the same effect as your wife but my partner is horrified at the thought...sigh.

Well, its all about mind over matter.....

It all comes off in the wash.

[sbk]

Well, Mr Irrisitable, perhaps you should go join one of those threads by men about how they need to have multiple partners because of genetic wiring and explain that mind over matter thing to them instead of coming to the ladies forum and preaching to women about a subject you cannot really understand.

[suegha]

Well, Mr Irrisitable, perhaps you should go join one of those threads by men about how they need to have multiple partners because of genetic wiring and explain that mind over matter thing to them instead of coming to the ladies forum and preaching to women about a subject you cannot really understand.

Nice one sbk!

[MrIrrisistable]

Not preaching, OP welcomed male comments and then 'goinghomesoon' lamented on having the same desirable problem that my wife has and even 'sighed' about it.

Seems not all woman have the problems you seem to be experiencing and I 'do' know something about that.

Why should I lecture guys about needing multiple partners, I don't agree with that. I am faithfull with my wife and if not...she is present as we share these things.

[schmangle]

Why not ry a meditation camp for 10 days over this time frame and see if that works.

Oh yes, brilliant advice. We all have the time to do this, none of us having real jobs or responsibilities such as taking care of kids or idiotic husbands... (insert rolling eyeballs smilie x 100)

If it does not help you, think buddhism and how much it would be helping your husband.

WFT? No buddhism text I ever read even vaguely related to this - is this kinda like "close your eyes and think of england"???

Well, its all about mind over matter.....

Ermm, yes, but we're not all so highly evolved on the spiritual chain of gurudom - next time you go to the dentist, do it without any pain injections. All mind over matter right?

***flame removed****sbk

Back to the Vitamin B from Lioness:

I suffered hugely from PMS, and from debilitating cramping, bloating, severe depression, confusion during my period. After trying some truly bizzare cures (one of which included drinking sheep's blood), some wonderful doctor eventually suggested combination high-dosage Vitamin B tablets to me years back. You need to take them every day without fail, and got me they totally eliminated all PMS symptoms, as well as the bloating and cramps. In my home country, only available via prescription.

In Thailand, they are over the counter medication called PrinciB Forte. Do not work for everyone, but for me, were total life savers. Added bonus, all the vitamin B makes you feel super, spring-out-of-bed-in-the-morning perky. I would advise checking with your doctor first, as they contain very high doses of B6, which can be dangerous for some people. And totally agree with Kat, diet is a huge part as well. And an understanding partner who knows when to just wander off without taking offense is an absolute godsend.

Edited May 18, 2008 by sbk

[sbk]

Flame removed and the response to it, there is no need for name calling in this forum thanks.

[kat]

Why not ry a meditation camp for 10 days over this time frame and see if that works.

Oh yes, brilliant advice. We all have the time to do this, none of us having real jobs or responsibilities such as taking care of kids or idiotic husbands... (insert rolling eyeballs smilie x 100)

If it does not help you, think buddhism and how much it would be helping your husband.

WFT? No buddhism text I ever read even vaguely related to this - is this kinda like "close your eyes and think of england"???

Well, its all about mind over matter.....

Ermm, yes, but we're not all so highly evolved on the spiritual chain of gurudom - next time you go to the dentist, do it without any pain injections. All mind over matter right?

***flame removed****sbk

Back to the Vitamin B from Lioness:

I suffered hugely from PMS, and from debilitating cramping, bloating, severe depression, confusion during my period. After trying some truly bizzare cures (one of which included drinking sheep's blood), some wonderful doctor eventually suggested combination high-dosage Vitamin B tablets to me years back. You need to take them every day without fail, and got me they totally eliminated all PMS symptoms, as well as the bloating and cramps. In my home country, only available via prescription.

In Thailand, they are over the counter medication called PrinciB Forte. Do not work for everyone, but for me, were total life savers. Added bonus, all the vitamin B makes you feel super, spring-out-of-bed-in-the-morning perky. I would advise checking with your doctor first, as they contain very high doses of B6, which can be dangerous for some people. And totally agree with Kat, diet is a huge part as well. And an understanding partner who knows when to just wander off without taking offense is an absolute godsend.

Way to go! And I can confirm on the Vitamin B tablets as well. I take my B-Complex without fail, and it has made a HUGE difference for me, as well as the "neurotransmitter" foods - walnuts and flax seeds. I have no symptoms at all now, unless I accidentally ingest wheat.

added: http://www.healthy-holistic-living.com/foo...rain-power.html

Edited May 18, 2008 by kat

[GracelessFawn]

I'm about to get my period and couldn't help but nag and drag past misunderstandings with my bf. The poor bloke must have been a little confuse about my drastic change of behaviour. I want some SWEETS right now and I feel like crying. Grrrrrrrrrr. Hate PMS.

[girlx]

thaiclan your avatar is great- i kept trying to smash the bug before i realized

i don't get PMS but all these suggestions about B vitamins confuse me as when i take B supplements they tend to make me very anxious!