Buddhism At Odds With Sexuality

[camerata]

I came across this old article on my hard disk today.

Buddhism at odds with sexuality

by SANITSUDA EKACHAI

Bangkok Post March 4,1994

HOW can monks control and eventually extinguish the most powerful of

human instincts -- the sexual drive?

If dhamma or the essence of Buddhist teachings means nature or natural

laws, why keep monks from a natural activity necessary for species

survival?

Does monks' serenity mean they have really extinguished their inner

fires? Or are they just ordinary men struggling with the nearly

impossible?

Is a chaste life really possible in this sexual society when even coffee

must be sexy in order to sell?

Not too long ago, these were taboo questions from heretics. At best,

they are considered naive questions from the ignorant. But when monks'

sexual activities have become regular news staples that no longer shock,

what used to be taboo whispers have become widespread doubts too loud to

avoid.

The recent scandal surrounding the superstar monk Phra Achan Yantra

Amaro Bhikkhu now hospitalised from stress-induced partial paralysis

after media grillings, heightens all the more a crisis of faith

following the demystifying of monks' purity.

Buddhism teaches that everyone is capable of liberating oneself from

worldly desires, with monks being examples of a chaste life. What to do

then to restore faith in one's will against attachments to comfort and

pleasures when the sacred has become a routine joke?

The answer does not come from monks' awe-inspiring look of holy

superiority. Nor from their blaming women as monks' enemies.

It lies in monks' honesty.

When Phra Achan Poh, the abbot of Suan Mokh Forest Monastery, met a

group of feminists who want ordination for women, he frankly told them

what he thinks is the biggest obstacle once one is committed to a chaste

life.

"Monks often leave the monkhood when they are in their 40s. Why? Because

they are finally discouraged that after all their perseverance, they

cannot overcome their sexual desires.

"Many give up. Others work on. It's not until one reaches the 60s that

the urges finally ease.

"And I don't believe things are easier for women."

The late meditation master Luang Pho Chah Supatto was also frank about

his battles with sexual urges which seem to take on a life of their own.

When his disciples asked him not to include this "improper" topic in his

biography, he asked: "Why not? This is monks' biggest obstacle."

The scriptures are also honest about monks' sexual problems and how to

deal with them. They describe in detail what actual sexual acts

constitute each level of punitive measures. Meanwhile there are more

than 30 meditation techniques to calm, and eventually rise above

attachments to sensory pleasures.

"People don't understand what battles monks are fighting," said former

monk and now Buddhist activist Pracha Hutanuwatra.

"Many modern women feel offended when monks keep a distance, thinking

that they are treated as inferiors. They want to challenge. They don't

understand that strict discipline, when followed not as mere form but

with sincerity, can greatly reduce the risks that come with external

stimuli."

Although sexuality is monks' common battle, it remains unspoken because

sexual matters are considered beyond monks' sacred realm.

Denial leads to fear, prejudice against women and overwhelming guilt in

the face of one's weaknesses. Given sternness and secrecy over monks'

sexual problems, each monk is left to fight a lonely, individual battle.

One of the most effective meditation techniques to overcome sexual urges

is corpse contemplation.

"This is my preventive technique," confided a monk. "I contemplate on

each part of the body constantly, that they are subjected to natural

laws and soon to disintegrate. By doing so, I can no longer see my own

body as channels to seek sensory pleasures.

"When I eat, I contemplate changes, the interconnectedness between waste

and food. I do the same thing when I go to the toilet. It is constant

contemplation.

"When lust still occurs, I rely on breathing meditation. If I get to it

fast enough, the emotions soon disappear. If they remain stubborn, I use

prayers that remind that I have chosen Buddha, Buddha's teachings and

the monkhood as my refuge. I keep on praying until the emotions are

gone.

"If one meditates regularly, the state of mindfulness helps ease such

feelings. But if I am too busy working, the feelings tend to flare up

easily."

There is no standard formula. For other monks, hard work can be the

ideal recipe.

"We must accept that monks, unless we attain spiritual liberation, are

still not freed from sexual drive," said another monk. "Wet dreams are

constant reminders of men's nature. But I find it useful to work hard

until I'm exhausted."

For another monk, his technique is to seek company with devout monks

whose chaste lives are his living inspiration.

"Being with friends in dhamma helps me. It's risky to spend too much

time with lay people with their different norms.

"My problems normally occur in the morning after I'm awake. The trick is

to get up immediately. If we are observant, we will know the warning

signs of wet dream problems. I work harder then. I clean toilets to feel

thoroughly clean myself afterwards. I reduce food intake, as well as

incidents which can arouse temptation."

Sugar, pumpkin, and garlic are among the foods each monk learns by

observation to add to his taboo list during weak periods.

Hospitals, for many monks, are training grounds to prepare themselves

against their inner fires.

"Hospitals are where I learn about realities in life both men and women

cannot escape. I often go to the Siriraj Hospital to contemplate corpses

or skeletons. Those encounters develop in me a sense of weariness. So

much so that whenever the sexual urge flares when I'm alone, the picture

of skeletons and the feeling of weariness spring up as soon as I close

my eyes.

"This doesn't mean, however that I've succeeded in extinguishing the

troublesome feelings. They still remain. Only that I have my way to

control them."

One monk describes how he feels amid now open criticism over monks'

hypocrisy and laxity: "It's the same as what Thai women feel when the

Longman dictionary describes Bangkok as a centre of prostitution," he

said.

"It's true that problems among monks exist. But one cannot generalise

that every monk is like what we read in the newspapers. There are good

monks, too."

Despite religious conviction the consumer society has made the battle

fiercer for "good" monks with its ever-present message that plays on

human greed and lust.

"There seems to be no more room for monks in this society," complained a

young monk. "If we look straight ahead, we are criticised as not being

'riap-roi'.

"If we lower our eyes, we cannot see the cluttered way. If we look up,

there it is -- the advertisement for women's underpants."

Added another: "When monks take public transport, we are bombarded with

love songs. There seems to be no way to escape."

For those with Freudian thinking, monks' sexual denial and suppression

only lead to neurotic symptoms. Why resist what is most basic in human

nature? Can Thai monks, too, marry, as those in other denominations do?

For social critic Sulak Sivarak, questions along that line only show how

intense the sexual society has become.

In a consumer society, the seeking for endless sensory pleasures and

possessions have become an ultimate quest while Buddhism teaches about

letting go.

When society is steered by lust and greed, living a chaste life has

become absurd.

"Unfortunately, this kind of thinking is also pervasive among monks.

They have mistaken a chaste life as meaning only celibacy. Senior monks

are then living in luxurious quarters similar to those of millionaires.

They are riding in Volvos and Mercedes. They are fierce in competition.

"They are strict on rules and forms which show that they are pure. But

their way of life directly violates the pious existence prescribed by

Buddha.

"For them, feudal rank, Volvos and Mercedes have become more important

than a chaste life," he charged.

According to Buddhist teachings, he said, sensory and sexual pleasures

are low forms of happiness.

"Buddha teaches that both men and women can liberate ourselves from

anger, lust, greed and delusions by perseverance. But when the feminine

and masculine in oneself become balanced, one is blessed with refined

happiness that is independent of material things and sexual pleasures.

"Most monks don't understand this. They think they are off the hook as

long as they don't have sexual relations. Then they seek a life like

that of lay people, which chains them to competition and emotion."

What should be done to steer monks back into the path of spiritual

liberation?

Sulak prescribes three solutions. Embrace women in the Sangha. Start

pulling away from consumerism. And make the conditions of society more

favourable for the practising of dhamma both by monks and by lay people.

These, he said, are part of going back to Buddha's core teachings that

all are equal in attaining spiritual liberation.

"The age-old problems between women and monks actually stem from

discrimination against women in the Sangha," he commented. "This is

because women, not being able to be ordained, need monks as a medium.

"The thorny problem of sexual relations between monks and female

followers will greatly reduce if women have equal opportunities to

experience spiritual lives directly."

Resistance from monks to the ordination of bhikkhuni, he said, shows

that monks themselves do not know the blessings of spiritual life.

"For if they do, they will see that women too have the same rights and

abilities. Also, they will want others to have the same experience which

will foster peace and harmony."

The argument that the ordination of bhikkhuni cannot be done because the

lineage has been broken is also not true, he said.

The bhikkhuni order in Taiwan, he said, continues from a lineage that

can be traced back to Sri Lanka's Theravadan Buddhism to which the

denominations in Thailand belong.

The argument that women can practise and have a spiritual life without

ordination, he said, only reflects deep-seated male oppression that has

nothing to do with religious tenets.

He told an anecdote: Mrs Sara Pasit, a woman who was once ordained a

female novice and disrobed by the Sangha told the Reverend Phra

Panyananda that she still wanted to be ordained.

Phra Panyananda: "Don't fret. The robe is only a uniform. Women can

practise as well without the robes of bhikkhuni."

Mrs Sara: "If that's true for men too, why then does Your Reverence not

put aside the robes and wear trousers instead?"

The robes and monastic life free of worldly worries, he said, are direct

channels to spiritual liberation. "That applies to men as well as

women," said Sulak.

Monks, however, cannot go back to a chaste life unless they challenge

consumerism and question social injustice, he stressed.

"Buddha's administration rules are actually democratic and

decentralised. A group of four monks can form a sangha community to do

what is right."

Said Phra Santikaro: "Monks must go back to simplicity. Monks must live

what we preach."

Putting all the burdens on monks' shoulders is not fair, however, said

Dr Patraporn Sirikarn of the Philosophy Department at Thammasat

University.

"Lay people, men and women have responsibilities equal to those of monks

in creating a peaceful society," she said. We must also look within

ourselves at what we have done or have not done to make peace possible."

Better religious education for the public and particularly for women is

crucial for screening rotten apples as well as keeping society on moral

grounds, she said.

While the demystification of monks' purity shakes the public faith, the

other side of the coin is that it can also solve problems.

"When I understand what monks have to go through in order to cope with

their fierce battles against instincts, my reaction is not one of

condemnation," said a Buddhist feminist. "I only want to know what women

and society can do to help make their mission easier than it is.

"It is helpful to see monks beyond the stereotype of holy persons beyond

defilement. It is more useful to see them as they are -- the committed

who are under constant struggles, and who also need help to attain

purity."

[IMA_FARANG]

I don't want to start arguements...and our Buddhism comes from different traditons and practices. But, let me ask, why would sexuality be banned in Buddhisim? Surely a obsession with sexuality would be wrong, as an obsession with food, or anything else that would tend to cloud clear judgement and correct behaviour. But why would that prohibit marriage and a normal healty sexual relationship with one's partner?

I realise there are those who choose to avoid any sexual behavior. That's fine, let them chose as they feel they should. I have no problem with their choice.

But as for me, a normal sexual arrangement in a comitted marriage, can not be at odds with a Buddhist practice and a realization of one's Buddha nature.

Just my opinion, let others follow their own path. Tnere is a verse that says:

Some there are that live by flesh alone

and some that live by the spirit.

But for those who attain to both the spirit and the flesh

by the flesh they obtain life

and by the spirit they overcome death.

Edited March 16, 2008 by camerata
Unneccesary quote deleted.

[suegha]

Good post there. This is also one of my questions. Why is sex such a bad thing in Buddhism? For me, it's a gift from God. The relationship I have with my wife is spiritually edifying, she helps me (and I her) on our spiritual paths, why shouldn't it be?

[garro]

Good post there. This is also one of my questions. Why is sex such a bad thing in Buddhism? For me, it's a gift from God. The relationship I have with my wife is spiritually edifying, she helps me (and I her) on our spiritual paths, why shouldn't it be?

My understanding is that the Buddha wouldn't have classed it as 'bad' but as 'unskillful'. This article is aimed at monks who should be trying to eradicate fettters and attachments. Sex is a major attatchment for many humans.

[Khnom]

Good post there. This is also one of my questions. Why is sex such a bad thing in Buddhism? For me, it's a gift from God. The relationship I have with my wife is spiritually edifying, she helps me (and I her) on our spiritual paths, why shouldn't it be?

I agree with you that sex with the right person is spiritual. At the same time, imagine all the young men lined up to become monks so they can help women make merits by having sex with them. There won't be any male left outside in the world. Such is a likely scenario if having monks are allowed to have sex. It would be difficult to stop it at marital sex.

Seriously, sex drive is perhaps the strongest drive there is, and as Garro mentioned, it brings along a lot of other attachments. What if the wife wants to make more Jatukam to rake in more dough when you're against it? etc, etc, endless possibilities down the worldly road.

[bankei]

In Buddhism liberation from suffering can only be achieved by giving up desires. Sex is one of the biggest desires. Having sex may satisfy the desire for a short period (24min in my case ), but the desires will keep coming back. So a better way would be to work on ways to prevent the desire from arising in the first place. Eventually the arising of sexual desire may become less and less and eventually stop.

[Brucenkhamen]

Good post there. This is also one of my questions. Why is sex such a bad thing in Buddhism? For me, it's a gift from God. The relationship I have with my wife is spiritually edifying, she helps me (and I her) on our spiritual paths, why shouldn't it be?

It's not a bad thing in Buddhism, I don't know where you got this idea, I don't see it in the article above. It's bad for monks because monks choose the celibate life, that's what being a monk is, if they didn't want to be celibate they shouldn't have ordained.

For a Buddhist practitioner it's important to fully understand desire, sex is one of our strongest desires, you understand desire by not giving into it, by seeing it objectively and realising you have a choice. Sometimes the not giving in part takes a lot of effort.

For monks though gaining enlightenment is not an easy thing, one must be in top form and totally focussed. Just like an athelete might abstain from sex during training so a monk does to focus his energy, that's the theory anyway.

[traveller5000]

I talked to an experienced meditation monk about this topic. He says that once a practitioner has reached a certain level in his/her meditation, the sexual urges leave, or rather the energy is transformed through the meditation practices. From then on, the practitioner has full control over his urges.

[Brucenkhamen]

I talked to an experienced meditation monk about this topic. He says that once a practitioner has reached a certain level in his/her meditation, the sexual urges leave, or rather the energy is transformed through the meditation practices. From then on, the practitioner has full control over his urges.

My wife will be pleased to hear that.

[chutai]

I talked to an experienced meditation monk about this topic. He says that once a practitioner has reached a certain level in his/her meditation, the sexual urges leave, or rather the energy is transformed through the meditation practices. From then on, the practitioner has full control over his urges.

My wife will be pleased to hear that.

Although this could take some explaining

earthly desires are enlightenment ( Jpn bonno-soku-bodai )

A Mahayana principle based on the view that earthly desires cannot exist independently on their own; therefore one can attain enlightenment without eliminating earthly desires. This contrasts with the Hinayana* view that extinguishing earthly desires is a prerequisite for enlightenment. According to the Hinayana teachings, earthly desires and enlightenment are two independent and opposing factors, and the two cannot coexist; while the Mahayana teachings reveal that earthly desires are one with and inseparable from enlightenment.

* I use the term Hinayana not as a derogatory term, only as written in the dictionary from where taken.

[Ijustwannateach]

Perhaps it is also important to distinguish between the Buddhist view of sexuality and the contemporary Thai view of sexuality, and indeed the contemporary Thai government PR view of sexuality. None of these would be the same, but I imagine that the Buddhist view would be healthiest of the three.

I liked what someone said recently in the thread about sex workers that for a Buddhist sex was good as long as it involved respect and love between the individuals involved and didn't damage anyone. Would it be a correct interpretation to say that sex is simply another one of the human appetites, only one with a greater moral dimension since its satisfaction involves other persons almost by necessity? - and that this appetite has to be addressed using similar principles as, say, the appetite for food?

[Brucenkhamen]

Although this could take some explaining

earthly desires are enlightenment ( Jpn bonno-soku-bodai )

A Mahayana principle based on the view that earthly desires cannot exist independently on their own; therefore one can attain enlightenment without eliminating earthly desires. This contrasts with the Hinayana* view that extinguishing earthly desires is a prerequisite for enlightenment. According to the Hinayana teachings, earthly desires and enlightenment are two independent and opposing factors, and the two cannot coexist; while the Mahayana teachings reveal that earthly desires are one with and inseparable from enlightenment.

* I use the term Hinayana not as a derogatory term, only as written in the dictionary from where taken.

I don't know what Hinayana teaches but in my understanding Theravada teaches that the closer one gets to enlightenment the less relavent sexual desire becomes.

I don't think that saying it extinguishes is correct, I think it's a physical thing and for it to extinguish the body would need to stop manufacturing sperm. Rather the mind becomes so highly developed and spacious that what once seemed like a strong overwhelming current now seems like a small ripple in comparison.

But we're only speculating.

[chutai]

I don't know what Hinayana teaches but in my understanding Theravada teaches that the closer one gets to enlightenment the less relavent sexual desire becomes

To be frank my quote was a bit tongue-in-cheek. As the desires that are referred to in Mahayana aren't neccsarily sexual - that would be just tantric in this context. But all desires.

Theravada teaches, as does Mahayana, that desire leads to attachment and attachment to suffering. The difference being that Mahayana does think it either possible nor desirable to extinguish desires as in Theravada. But those (earthly) desires are in themselves enlightenment. There is no seperation between earthly desires and enlightnment.

The Universal Worthy Sutra, an epilogue to the Lotus Sutra, states, "Without either cutting off earthly desires or separating themselves from the five desires, they can purify all their senses and wipe away all their offences." T'ient'ai says in Great Concentration and Insight, "The ignorance and dust of desires are enlightenment, and the sufferings of birth and death are nirvana." In The Record of the Orally Transmitted Teachings, Nichiren states: "The idea of gradually overcoming delusions is not the ultimate meaning of the 'Life Span' chapter [of the Lotus Sutra]. You should understand that the ultimate meaning of this chapter is that ordinary mortals, just as they are in their original state of being, are Buddhas."

I don't think that saying it extinguishes is correct, I think it's a physical thing and for it to extinguish the body would need to stop manufacturing sperm. Rather the mind becomes so highly developed and spacious that what once seemed like a strong overwhelming current now seems like a small ripple in comparison

But we're only speculating.

I think it a little more than speculation for a practicioner to be honest - it's a reality experienced in our daily life. But I reiterate - that this isn't so much geared to the fuction of sex- if at all - but to all earthly desires. To extinguish desire is also to distinguish the will to live. The point of our practice is to change those earthly desires into desires that will produce the ultimate benefit - to create value in its most meaningful sense. Buddhahood can only be found in out daily lives. It has been said that we are "burning the firewood of earthly desires [in our daily practice] summoning up the wisdom-fire of enlightenment."

Which in some ways, and in essence, I thought this wasn't so far removed from what traveller5000 wrote. In fact, I at least, believe there to be an overlap in the reality of turning desires into enlightenment.

Edited March 16, 2008 by chutai

[Brucenkhamen]

Theravada teaches, as does Mahayana, that desire leads to attachment and attachment to suffering. The difference being that Mahayana does think it either possible nor desirable to extinguish desires as in Theravada. But those (earthly) desires are in themselves enlightenment. There is no seperation between earthly desires and enlightnment.

Well I think your use of the word extinguish is muddying the waters as I don't use it in this context.

So you are saying that in Mahayana and enlightened being still craves chocolate, still hopes to win the lottery, still thinks the grass is greener on the other side, still needs an occasional cigarette, still wants to jack off now and again? and as those (earthly) desires are in themselves enlightenment then not having them would indicate not being enlightened?

If so I'm glad I didn't choose that path.

"Without either cutting off earthly desires or separating themselves from the five desires, they can purify all their senses and wipe away all their offences." T'ient'ai says in Great Concentration and Insight, "The ignorance and dust of desires are enlightenment, and the sufferings of birth and death are nirvana."

Like many Mahayana principles the power lies in the paradox, the ability to turn normal thinking on it's head. Taking statements like these literally would be counter productive in my opinion.

I think it a little more than speculation for a practicioner to be honest - it's a reality experienced in our daily life.are nirvana."

I'm afraid I'm too far away from the enlightenment to know for sure what exactly remains or does not remain in terms of desire, so I must speculate.

To extinguish desire is also to distinguish the will to live.

Yes, hence the end of rebirth.

The point of our practice is to change those earthly desires into desires that will produce the ultimate benefit - to create value in its most meaningful sense. Buddhahood can only be found in out daily lives. It has been said that we are "burning the firewood of earthly desires [in our daily practice] summoning up the wisdom-fire of enlightenment."

We are saying the same thing, here you are talking about transforming the desire into something new. Whether the desire is extinguished or not is just splitting hairs. If you burn firewood is it extinguished or transformed? Well both actually.

Every cause has an affect and every affect has a cause, desire doesn't exist in a vacuum. If desire arises or passes away there is a flow on affect. It just doesn't extinguish into a vacuum, but as far as an enlightened person is concerned I speculate that it's just off the radar.

[chutai]

So you are saying that in Mahayana and enlightened being still craves chocolate, still hopes to win the lottery, still thinks the grass is greener on the other side, still needs an occasional cigarette, still wants to jack off now and again? and as those (earthly) desires are in themselves enlightenment then not having them would indicate not being enlightened?

If so I'm glad I didn't choose that path.

How so ? Do you believe that Buddhist are somehow seperate from the world in which they live? That is a fallacy.Buddha was fully human and humans are the Buddha. But you miss the point - or perhaps I never made it clear. It's those earthly desires that push us to enlightenment as they are in themselves devoid of the ultimate means to happiness. Liberation.

But Buddhahood is to be found in those self same desires. Hence, "burning the firewood of earthly desires [in our daily practice] summoning up the wisdom-fire of enlightenment."

It's worth contemplating the Lotus Flower analogy. In so much that it germinates at the bottom of a muddy pool and at the same time blossoms at the top of the pool. In the same way enlightenment is to be found in our eartly desires. Cause and effect. It's only our fundamental darkness or delusions that prevent us from realising this by attempting to seperate one from the other, much in the same way as Christians do the 'Spirit' from the 'Flesh'.

But there are so many analogies in nature itself that prove latency. For instance, an apple tree bearing no fruit out of season has the apple in its latent form. So it is with flower bulbs, and so on and so forth, It's the same with we humans. In our earthly desires we have the latent form of Buddhahood. Extinguish those then we have nothing to push for the fruition or realisation of that which is innate, or latent in all life states.

Edited March 16, 2008 by chutai

[Brucenkhamen]

It's those earthly desires that push us to enlightenment as they are in themselves devoid of the ultimate means to happiness. Liberation.

On that point I couldn't agree more.

But Buddhahood is to be found in those self same desires. Hence, "burning the firewood of earthly desires [in our daily practice] summoning up the wisdom-fire of enlightenment."

I like this analogy, the only thing is you appeared to be saying earlier that you burn the firewood but the firewood still remains. When of course the firewood is not so much extinguished as transformed.

It's worth contemplating the Lotus Flower analogy. In so much that it germinates at the bottom of a muddy pool and at the same time blossoms at the top of the pool. In the same way enlightenment is to be found in our eartly desires. Cause and effect. It's only our fundamental darkness or delusions that prevent us from realising this by attempting to seperate one from the other, much in the same way as Christians do the 'Spirit' from the 'Flesh'.

Having found enlightenment by using earthly desires as our teacher do earthly desires continue to lead as as before? I think not.

Oh, and better not to mention the Christians ;-)

In our earthly desires we have the latent form of Buddhahood. Extinguish those then we have nothing to push for the fruition or realisation of that which is innate, or latent in all life states.

Sounds like you are concerned that the Hinayana practitioner would somehow find the magic switch to turn off desires totally when he is nowhere near enlightenment and needs those desires as a teacher. That's ridiculous, nobody has a magic switch to turn off desire so don't worry.

You don't extinguish desire then push to fruition (this is impossible), the process of pushing to fruition gradually makes worldly desire pale in comparison.

I think we are using different words to describe exactly the same thing.

[rockyysdt]

I'm still very much in the infancy stage of my journey towards enlightenment.

I know our sexual urge can lead to many temptations and affect our growth.

I don't really have an answer on the subject, but the only comment I'd make is that:

All the dicussions on this subject have been on an intellectual level.

Once we have reached a certain level of enlightenment through actual experience we will automatically know the answers.

Until then (if it ever happens) we can only speculate as we can't possibly understand in our current state of being.

I wonder if any BM's have actually reached enlightenment?

Apparently those that have and have returned, will not reveal this as it involves ego and contradicts the egoless state one reaches when enlightenment occurs.

[camerata]

In the meantime, watch the movie Samsara.

[Brucenkhamen]

Once we have reached a certain level of enlightenment through actual experience we will automatically know the answers.

Until then (if it ever happens) we can only speculate as we can't possibly understand in our current state of being.

You're absolutely right.

A little speculation doesn't hurt but too much can get in the way of walking the path.