Daffy D Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 OK may be controversial but am interested to get some feedback. Reading through the posts on this forum for some time and hearing stories from various sources as well as personal experiences with friends past and present I get the impression that Thai girls with Farang husbands/partners do not really care too much for the half breed kids they produce. On this forum several guys have asked advice (or just wanted to share their experience) about their female partner having “gone bad” and resuming the good life, leaving the poor guy to take care of the kid/s. Have also heard stories of girls being a faithful wife and mother for many years until they get the coveted green card or Farang residence then abandon husband and kids just like that. We are led to believe that Thai family values are really important but are they in reality? How many girls indiscriminately have kids and dump them with the grandparents to go back to the good life in the bars? Is the family value thing just another myth just like this being the land of smiles or is it just with the new generations that are rebelling against their elders? D.D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madjbs Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 (edited) Edited March 16, 2008 by madjbs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prakanong Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Filial piety is not as strong in Thailand as it is in other parts of Asia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
burman Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 It seems your knowledge of Thai girls is mainly made up of girls who work in bars. Widen your social circles and you might stop asking stupid questions about whether or not women love their children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prakanong Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 It seems your knowledge of Thai girls is mainly made up of girls who work in bars. Widen your social circles and you might stop asking stupid questions about whether or not women love their children. I hope you are refering to the OP newbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
burman Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 (edited) What's with the 'newbie' shit? I've been a member of this site longer than you. And yes quite obviously referring to the OP, didn't think I would have to point that out. Next time I will quote the whole post for you. Edited March 16, 2008 by burman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haybilly Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 (edited) OK may be controversial but am interested to get some feedback. Reading through the posts on this forum for some time and hearing stories from various sources as well as personal experiences with friends past and present I get the impression that Thai girls with Farang husbands/partners do not really care too much for the half breed kids they produce.On this forum several guys have asked advice (or just wanted to share their experience) about their female partner having "gone bad" and resuming the good life, leaving the poor guy to take care of the kid/s. Have also heard stories of girls being a faithful wife and mother for many years until they get the coveted green card or Farang residence then abandon husband and kids just like that. We are led to believe that Thai family values are really important but are they in reality? How many girls indiscriminately have kids and dump them with the grandparents to go back to the good life in the bars? Is the family value thing just another myth just like this being the land of smiles or is it just with the new generations that are rebelling against their elders? D.D. I don't think that Thai girls have any sort of monopoly on the 'gone bad' syndrome--I read, almost daily, about exactly the same scenario being played out in U.K., U.S.A. and so on etc..what about poor little rich kid Britney--there's nought so queer as folk, and this includes the males of the species. Edited March 16, 2008 by haybilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torrenova Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Normal abandonment of kids into the care of relations is practised all over the world to varying degrees when the parent/s have the opportunity or need to work where it would be impractical to have their kids with them. However, it is my experience that many poorer Thais do this to enjoy their life whilst young, unencumbered by their offspring. There seems to be little thought as to how they are going to care for their kids and the extended family is the "role model". Of course it is common knowledge that many poorer Thai fathers abandon their partners and kids at the drop of a hat / cigarette / whisky bottle / mia noi etc. I am not saying western parents are better here as the poorer elements of western society seem to be littered with one parent families and umpteen babies born to different fathers. I think the OP is referring to certain women who use their offspring as a commodity to barter with or even abandon completely. This does exist and it could be argued on occassion that the parents value their freedom or cash far higher than a replaceable commodity like a baby. I know a number of situations where the baby has been given up for a cash payment. I would find it hard though to argue in general that Thai parents care less for their kids than those of other nationalities and with the extended family model it could be said that they actually make better provision in some cases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunnyd Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 They would have to be socially isolated for that to happen. Most "mail order wives", yes I believe this is about that not specifically Thais, learn from friends they make in their adopted country and become "Westernized". In most cases, the farang husband doesn't get off that easily. They hire a divorce lawyer, keep the kids, and take the husbands house, car, half of everything else and alimony and child support payments. I think it would be rare that they would get their unconditional Resident Alien card (that takes 2 years of marriage, and the husband has to basically go through the whole sponsorship dance with the USCIS. This was done to reduce "marriages of convenience") and then the wife runs off without her kids and the majority of the poor sucker's money who married her in the first place. I would not pin this solely on Thais, I am sure this happens with all marriages done just for the Green Card. GunnyD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffy D Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 I wish that people who did not have anything constructive to say would remember the old rule “if you can’t say some thing nice say nothing” especially if it involves the use of bad language. I’m glad to see that some disagree with my view, so no kids are ever dumped on grandparents in LOS. That’s good to hear. Though I don’t think I actually expressed a view, just threw out an observation. Yes the abandonment of kids happens in all societies but as we are constantly reminded by the moderators this is a Thai related site. Thanks “torrenova” for a constructive observation. Mr D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I guess the idea of an extended family raising one's children is an alien thought to many westerners. While, no doubt, many Thai parents do abandon their kids, many more are off earning money to send back to their parents to help raise the kids with (hopefully) more opportunities than they would have had had the child's parents not worked at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madjbs Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Daffy It seems you forgot that rule when you were writing your OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffy D Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 Daffy It seems you forgot that rule when you were writing your OP. Yea! You are right but I do hope I’m not boring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edonista Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 We are led to believe that Thai family values are really important but are they in reality? They are important as long as they are supported by frequent beatings. Once the "beatings environment" is over, so are the "family values" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunnyd Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 (edited) I guess the idea of an extended family raising one's children is an alien thought to many westerners. While, no doubt, many Thai parents do abandon their kids, many more are off earning money to send back to their parents to help raise the kids with (hopefully) more opportunities than they would have had had the child's parents not worked at all. Most of the ladies I have worked with in nursing from SEA come to the US on work visas. And not by marriage. I don't think this is as prevalent in LOS, but this is just my observation. In the Philippines there is a cottage industry of nursing schools for the purpose of working overseas. There are signs on the schools basically stating that if you get your degree here you can go to the US, Canada, GB, OZ, and many others western countries. I haven't seen signs like that in BKK. They get to the US and send money back to their homeland. In California and many other major cities in the US there are remittance centers for every SEA country that the workers come from. Edited March 16, 2008 by gunnyd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakhar Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 In Thailand it is very common to see people not raising their children. I always say, "You don't raise your child in Thailand, your grandparent's do. You see this a lot down in Mexico too. It is starting to become more prevalent in America, and I suspect as the economy continues to fall, it will occur more frequently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDon Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Ofcourse Thai's love there kids, what sort of a dumb question is that? Whats next? Do Thai people have blue blood? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plachon Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 In Thailand it is very common to see people not raising their children. I always say, "You don't raise your child in Thailand, your grandparent's do. You see this a lot down in Mexico too. It is starting to become more prevalent in America, and I suspect as the economy continues to fall, it will occur more frequently. The trend to abandon house and family in rural areas in Thailand, was directly related to economic growth, not decline. If the economy nose-dived tomorrow, as in 1997, one could expect a lot of parents would be reunited with the kids they left in Nakhon Nowhere. Poorer,but together again......... Economic growth tends to split families in developing countries and is a double-edged sword for social stability and "the greater common good". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realmadrid25 Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Poor people are less intelligent than rich people. Babies are nurtured into adults. If they are not raised correctly, they become lousy adults. Then the cycle repeats. Lets face it, much of the complaints made about Thais are really just complaints about poor/unintelligent people. The rich, educated, well nurtured Thais love their children I am sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garro Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 (edited) I think almost every parent does the best they can for their child. Sometimes this best is criminally bad. I think it is not wise to judge how another culture deals with parenthood. Unless of course, your culture has a 100% success rate at raising children. Most Thai parents I know are very openly loving parents. My Thai wife is a fantastic mother to our child. Edited March 16, 2008 by garro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garro Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 (edited) Poor people are less intelligent than rich people. Babies are nurtured into adults. If they are not raised correctly, they become lousy adults. Then the cycle repeats. Lets face it, much of the complaints made about Thais are really just complaints about poor/unintelligent people. The rich, educated, well nurtured Thais love their children I am sure. What a silly statement. Intelligence is not related to wealth - only opportunity is related to wealth. Edited March 16, 2008 by garro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kankaroo Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KireB Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Poor people are less intelligent than rich people.The rich, educated, well nurtured Thais love their children I am sure. These are quite some statements you make here. And can you please explain why you are so sure! In my opinion, social background and intelligence, the Western interpretation that is, do not walk hand in hand. When it comes to cognitive development, or better said opportunities, you might have a point. Unfortunately you don't put it that way, but rather generalize and make harsh statements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDon Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I think this thread has no point and is rather silly, I reckon it should be closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterman21 Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I am English and my parents didnt love me when i was a kid - infact nobody loves me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
burman Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Poor people are less intelligent than rich people. I guess you are well below the poverty line then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDon Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I am English and my parents didnt love me when i was a kid - infact nobody loves me I dont love you but I love your posts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterman21 Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I think this thread has no point and is rather silly, I reckon it should be closed. But your not a mod - and never will be DON!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDon Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I think this thread has no point and is rather silly, I reckon it should be closed. But your not a mod - and never will be DON!! Dont want to be one - and never want to be one either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterman21 Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I think this thread has no point and is rather silly, I reckon it should be closed. But your not a mod - and never will be DON!! Dont want to be one - and never want to be one either. Thats a shame since you love my posts - most of the mods seem to be adverse to me stating political facts or uncomfortable truths, makes me wonder if they are agents or just usefull types! Anyway didnt you call for this thread to be closed - or was that your left brain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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