Marriage Or Not ?

[MrPaddy]

Can fellow members advise their opinion and or knowledge on what is the difference between marriage and non marriage in Thailand.

The pro's and cons of both sides and how each effects various situations here such as Land/house ownership, leasing, visa's, debt, banking and any other situations you may think relevant.

Cheers

[colino]

marriage = debit

need i say more

[Mosha]

40000 a month plus a bank account gets you permissssion to stay 12 months AKA family visa. 90 day reporting

Edited April 4, 2008 by Mosha

[MrPaddy]

Colino, no you need not say more. Everyone already knows that one, just want to know the others and specifically re debt and responsibility of either partner here. Different to back west.

Mosha, what do you mean 'plus bank account' I am lead to believe it was one or the other ?

[hullmonkey1]

Colino, no you need not say more. Everyone already knows that one, just want to know the others and specifically re debt and responsibility of either partner here. Different to back west.

Mosha, what do you mean 'plus bank account' I am lead to believe it was one or the other ?

Jaysus paddy

you need the account to put the money in

[wanderer9020]

forkrissake,, you marry that lovely Thai girl, coz u want to spend the rest of ur life with her and not just because of immigration brouhahas , otherwise, no, dont marry .

[Eric1949]

Can fellow members advise their opinion and or knowledge on what is the difference between marriage and non marriage in Thailand.

The pro's and cons of both sides and how each effects various situations here such as Land/house ownership, leasing, visa's, debt, banking and any other situations you may think relevant.

Cheers

Apart from a slight advantage with Visas, there is no benefit in marriage.

You will NEVER own land or a house legally in your name.

You can have your own bank account and buy a car in your own name.

Unless you have a work permit, you cannot have a credit card in your name.

Marry for love , sure. But remember Asian 'love' is not the same as perceived in the west.

What ever you do, insist of a form of prenuptial agreement, prepared by a Thai lawyer. But, remember to have this checked out at your Embassy.

But a basic answer to your question is a big NO

[MrPaddy]

Well Hullmonkey, you do not need an account to put the money into as you can directly withdraw from overseas accounts. So what I was asking, is it a requirement or not and if the poster was by saying 'you need a bank account' he may have been meaning the 400k in a bank account as well as the 40k per month.

I understand marriage for love, in fact I do not even believe in marriage at all. So the point is if forced to do it by the powers to be here, is it worth it or not worth it, what are the advantages and disadvantages.

The point is if you are forced into it, you have few other options because of the 'TIT' factor, what do you do. I despise the point of being forced into it through no other choices available. But I have other considerations which go beyond how I may feel about it.

Eric is right, the view of love is not quite the same here as in the west, so why should I not take that approach as well if it is a means to the ends. I just want to know the disadvantages that are out there first.

Do not forget, This Is Thailand and some very weird rules exist out there and some I know, others I do not and this forum is good for getting a cross view from many varied people in many varied situations.

Cheers

[hullmonkey1]

Well Hullmonkey, you do not need an account to put the money into as you can directly withdraw from overseas accounts. So what I was asking, is it a requirement or not and if the poster was by saying 'you need a bank account' he may have been meaning the 400k in a bank account as well as the 40k per month.

I understand marriage for love, in fact I do not even believe in marriage at all. So the point is if forced to do it by the powers to be here, is it worth it or not worth it, what are the advantages and disadvantages.

The point is if you are forced into it, you have few other options because of the 'TIT' factor, what do you do. I despise the point of being forced into it through no other choices available. But I have other considerations which go beyond how I may feel about it.

Eric is right, the view of love is not quite the same here as in the west, so why should I not take that approach as well if it is a means to the ends. I just want to know the disadvantages that are out there first.

Do not forget, This Is Thailand and some very weird rules exist out there and some I know, others I do not and this forum is good for getting a cross view from many varied people in many varied situations.

Cheers

To be honest paddy I have always assumed that you had to show a thai bank account with the cash on deposit unless it was a retirement visa where proof of monthly pension will suffice. Suppose I shouldnt have posted unless I was certain, but a few beers, idle hands and all that

If you are planning to travel back to ireland on a yearly basis fly via manchester and pop down the road to the thai consulate in hull for a non im visa. Easy to get, no proof of any kind of cash involved and will last up to 15 months a time. Have posted a link below, hope it is not against forum rules as its not a comercial enterprise

http://www.thaiconsul-uk.com/

[MrPaddy]

That is not possible, never been to England or ireland, never really want to either really.

Yes the bank account is necessary to show for the 400k, but I do not know for the 40k monthly.

Anyway, can someone tell me where in the rule book, the ones the Thais keep changing, it states this http://www.thaivisa.com/extensions/grandfather-clause.html or is this just what the writer of this site thinks should happen, with nothing to refer to in the immigration rules and regs.

[JSixpack]

The point is if you are forced into it, you have few other options because of the 'TIT' factor, what do you do. I despise the point of being forced into it through no other choices available. But I have other considerations which go beyond how I may feel about it.

Forced? No other choices?

Nonsense.

[naka]

Of course a bank account is necessary ... otherwise she will be going through your pockets every night.

Naka.

[GuestHouse]

Just like anywhere else in the world...

If you meet a woman you can't live without ask her to marry you - but under no other circumstances get married.

----

'Love in Thailand is not the same as in the west' - What Utter <deleted>! - Correction - It all depends where you started your relationship and on what basis. As a general rule, the world over, the basis upon which you start a relationship, is the basis in which that relationship will continue.

[MrPaddy]

Well, here with me now, things are a little different.

I have been with my partner for 11 years, we are not married and we have children.

I previously had been on the 'support of Thai children' visa and had been so for 4 years.

My recent visit to the establishment and my visa was refused, I was given 60 days.

Now, no need to go into bitch fest as what I think of this, but that is the facts as they stand today.

I was told by 2 immigration staff and with the help of someone I know who is a visa agent and is on personal genuine relationship basis with many of the staff in there and this is not a trivial view based on my thoughts, she is in fact very close to many staff. Anyway I was told that I had to get married now if I wanted to stay, or get a work permit.

I do not need or want a work permit and the hassles and costs associated with one when it is a total waste to me. Nor do I wish to get married 'again'. After this discussion with the staff, I was asked if I had sufficient funds to live independantly here or back in my home country. I said "yes". She said to my wife..."well you should all go back and live there then".

The officer tried to explain to me their reasoning for no more visas of this type, even though I had this type prior to any changes and extensions prior to any changes. Her explanation was..."we do not want foreigners coming here and fathering children just to be able to stay here and not take the responsibility, so now they have to be married" She also said that the 'man upstairs' would not approve it if they sent it up there unless you are really really rich.

I replied to her that their policy is not fair then, for example you see that guy over there, he can marry a bar girl and stay here now. I have been together for 11 years and have children and I spend all my income here in this country alone for the last several years. Yet I am not allowed to stay and he is, tell me what is ok about that in relation to your system and regulations.

So there it is, of the 2 options given to me, the marriage seems to be the simplest and best. I might just add that my reason for not getting married is a simple belief that a piece of paper is not worth anything to me. My previous marriage of several years did not last. Yet I am now not married and it is stronger, lasted longer and we have children and I love her just as much if not more today than when we met. So tell me which relationship is/was the strongest, with or without the piece of paper.

Also by getting married, I do not want to 'jinx' things. I am not superstitous, but imagine if we got married then it all went south. Secondly the idea of being forced to do it as a very limited choice basis to be able to stay with my kids, to me is just not right.

I had thought about going to the papers and causing a fuss. I had thought that surely being 'told' to get married to be able to stay with your children is against some human rights rules somewhere, perhaps the 'geneva convention' or some such other human rights violations that I could use to cause a stink over.

So there yuz have it.

Real opinions valued, funny ones even more.

Cheers.

[GuestHouse]

There are two sides to every story and while we hear your side and you ask our opinion, perhaps the best person to talk to is your wife.

A Thai woman living with a guy (but not married) and having children together over eleven years strikes me as unusual.

Certainly if you are pointing the finger at other guys for marrying bar girls and declaring infringement of your 'human rights' there is a case for you to at least consider your options as they effect the woman you live with and the mother of your children. You state that you feel your hand is being forced, but what of your partner's?

I'm not asking for you to answer for your partner, you can only reliably answer for yourself, but it might be a good idea to re-focus the direction of your thinking.... it has after all been a full 11 years...

Edited April 6, 2008 by GuestHouse

[MrPaddy]

My partner wants to get married.

But she is also ok with staying as we are.

Of course we have discussed this. But it comes down to being given next to no choice in my opinion and please read that again 'my opinion' not that of the immigration department. I am entitled to my beliefs as is my partner, I do not believe in marrigae and a simple piece of written paper which then means 'what' exactly...oh yes it means now everything will be ok and you will live happily ever after and commit to each other for the rest of your natural days.

Poppycock.

I have proven that is not the case, in that our relationship is by far stronger than possibly the vast majority of marriages out there. We are not a fantasy tale, of course there have been problems along the way, but 11 years later we are still together and love each other dearly.

[britmaveric]

If a piece of paper means little to you - simple get married, and problem solved. It might not be the ideal situation in your mind, but you have little choice.

[GuestHouse]

I do not believe in marrigae and a simple piece of written paper which then means 'what' exactly

It means you can get a visa!

[farang prince]

Can fellow members advise their opinion and or knowledge on what is the difference between marriage and non marriage in Thailand.

The pro's and cons of both sides and how each effects various situations here such as Land/house ownership, leasing, visa's, debt, banking and any other situations you may think relevant.

Cheers

Why pay for milk if you are getting it for free?

[Mosha]

I bet she sees herself has married. Before I married my wife, and people used to ask "Is this your wife?" "Not yet I would reply." My wife would give me a funny look but say nothing. Then one day she asked me why I always said No. "We have been together long time, next time someone asks, say yes."

Now when I went for the family visa, they asked for aletter from the bank. Also proof of 40K a month. When they asked why I don't apply for aretirement visa, I told them I did not want to have to go to BKK. Ended up going anyway.

[MrPaddy]

I do not believe in marrigae and a simple piece of written paper which then means 'what' exactly

It means you can get a visa!

Yes, well they may drag me to the alter kicking and screaming and I will sign the marriage document 'under duress'....they would not understand it and just think it is part of my name maybe 'Billy Hunt under duress'......thankyou Mr Duress have a lovely honeymoon.

But not before exhausting all avenues, I will be getting my lawyer to speak with his contacts in there to get an opinion from that angle. Then I will be applying again in 60 days for another extension based on my original visa and if this is turned down, I will ask to go upstairs and put my case to the good fellow at the gold plated desk.

If that all fails, well then so be it, but I wonder if I can lodge a complaint at my embassy of being forced to get married against my will

Mosha, yes we both see ourselves as being as good as married, same same but different. I actually refer to her as my wife, easier than trying to expalin each and every time. She calls me 'the husband' also, when in a good mood.

[BigSnake]

An Extended family, here you not only get the girl but the entire family all on your income.

[colino]

OK i am married and there seems to be only a couple of advantages one is that very rarely do i suffer dual pricing as the wife buys the tickets and books hotels ,i get a multi o visas from hull very easy normally returned returned in 48 hours, as i have to travel back and forth to the UK a lot, so to give my wife cash i opened a Nationwide account so she can withdraw cash from an ATM free of charge , besides that it can be very hard work trying to work and live here , once you get the family to understand that not all foreigners are stinking rich

and you have put your foot down over certain matters , show some back bone ,

and most important is

Don t think with your middle leg

colino

[Huey]

Work Permit, Marriage is a serious commitment, I would avoid it if all I wanted was a visa.

[Maigo6]

Marry for love , sure. But remember Asian 'love' is not the same as perceived in the west............

...........................Where half the marriages end in divorce.

[jasonslater]

The important thing is to read the post, some have a good marriage while others wont. There are nightmares which many people suffer. It's never easy, sometimes you have to go with the heart and what you truly believe is the best thing for YOU! I have been married to a Thai for over six years, like every marriage it has its ups and downs, but we both truly love one another, and that is something you find out after a long period of time. Don't jump into something, take time to find out bout one another. This applies even if your marrying someone from your own country, it important as marrying a Thai has many complications, often the family members are always put first. You must stay in control, do not every let the her or your family members put you under pressure, it will cause trouble if your not firm with issues that are important to you, she and you must understand one an-others culture.

You can never be thai, she can never be from your culture.

There must be give & take from both of you, never let it be a one way street. When your doing all the giving, and she's doing all the taking!!

If that ever happens get out fast...

Plenty more fish in the sea as they say.

Hope this is of some use to you, and others.

[rick75]

^ Wow what a first post, great advice

[lioness]

Eric 1949

I just love it when people makie sweeping statements that are totally inaccurate.

You say " you will never own land or a house legally", What utter rubbish, it is legal and lawful for a foreigner to own a house in Thailand in his/her name. A different matter with the land however.

The original poster requested information and what was your reply a great big NO.

All in all anything you wrote was a total waste of space. Grab a brain.

[MrPaddy]

' Don't jump into something, take time to find out bout one another'

Lol, I appreciate all the advice, but please remember I am not a newbi at this, 11 years and I think I know her just a little bit, is 11 years enough ?

Although there is that mole that I found last night I did not know about before !!!!

[MrPaddy]

I am very keen to know if anyone knows how this statement http://www.thaivisa.com/extensions/grandfather-clause.html relates in reality and if it is just another piece of fiction and if it is fact, where is this fact to be found for referance in any Thai immigration website or bible.