Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies

[AltumAngel]

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child. -Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

[Daffy D]

While the hero is fighting the villain the girlfriend never picks up the fallen gun to help her man out.

[suegha]

You can always hail a taxi in a big busy city as soon as you walk out the door.

[colino]

you never have to check your change when buying a drink in any bar

[suegha]

Or lock your car.

[colino]

and can also go right to the boarding gate to say goodbye

[Irish]

-All telephone numbers in the USA begin, 555.

-When ending a telephone conversation, nobody ever says, "Goodbye."

-If you want to catch a killer... Get a large breasted blonde to take a shower... When she comes out she wipes the mirror and he is standing behind her.

-When investigating a murder case the detective must visit a strip club.

[suegha]

Very funny Irish! Are you actually Irish? There are many of us on the board...

Anyway, as this is the first time I've seen you, welcome.

[Buzby]

The hero and his leading lady always orgasm together

Bombs always have electronic countdown displays on them, and are defused with one second to spare

Edited April 10, 2008 by Buzby

[suegha]

The hero and his leading lady always orgasm together

Bombs always have electronic countdown displays on them, and are defused with one second to spare

[suegha]

The hero and his leading lady always orgasm together

Bombs always have electronic countdown displays on them, and are defused with one second to spare

ps From my time in the services I can tell you bombs never have visual timers attached to them, digital or otherwise!

Here's another: When an explosion occurs the hero is alway thrown a comfortable distance away and without harm!

[Irish]

So true about the bomb thing... Ironically watched Spooks today and there it was again.. The main guy just picks a wire and cuts it, yawn... How many times can we do that... C'mon fail. Lets see John Travolta cut the wrong wire and get blown to smithereens. I men we KNOW they are going to do it. Remember the Peacemaker? Clooney and Kidman dive through a stain glass window onto concrete and what do they have, a fukken band on their head?

Very funny Irish! Are you actually Irish? There are many of us on the board...

Anyway, as this is the first time I've seen you, welcome.

Thak you - As you can see not such a regular poster.

Slainté.

[Buzby]

Court cases are always decided when that vital witness bursts into the courtroom just in the nick of time.

All Sporting victories occur with the last kick/throw/shot of the game (usually just after a slow motion glance towards the proud coach/mentor)

[mumbojumbo]

All American vehicles that go over a cliff, will explode into flames, sometimes before even hitting the ground below.

[Daffy D]

All American vehicles that go over a cliff, will explode into flames, sometimes before even hitting the ground below.

Who picks up all those bits of crashed cars?

[Merlin]

sheets on beds in movie sets are always made in a strange "L" shape, to cover the ladies' breasts while showing the hero's hairy chest. . .

[suegha]

Thak you - As you can see not such a regular poster.

Slainté.

Slainté back to ya! Keep on posting...

[PhilHarries]

Wherever you are in London you can hear the chimes of Big Ben.

Wherever you are in Paris you can see the Eiffel Tower.

If you are being persued by a hideous monster stick with the kid and/or the dog, they always make it to safety.

If you and the heroine are being persued by the deranged killer and you manage to knock him out do not finish him off. Leave him there to come round and continue the chase.

One man with a revolver can kill twelve men with sub machine guns.

[Crossy]

Along the same lines (and also not new) here are 25 interesting things that you learn about computers in the movies...

1. High tech equipment is often driven by a computer with a DOS prompt. (re: RoboCop)
   
2. High tech companies don't do offsite backups of the data (re: Terminator 2)
   
3. All media devices are readily available - ie If someone hands you a DAT tape with important data on it your PC will have a DAT drive.
   
4. No matter what you ask a computer to do it will respond with a percentage complete bargraph - especially when searching for data it can accurately give you the time remaining until it finds that data.
   
5. Data searching will always involve displaying all the searched data on the screen until a match is found - this is true of text and graphics such as fingerprints.
   
6. Telephone calls can be easily redirected through places all over the world, and upon a tracea globe will be displayed complete with lines travelling between each place.
   
7. Deleting of data always takes just a little less time than it takes the bad guys to knock down the door.
   
8. All technology is plug and play - every computer can have any piece of technology attached.
   
9. High tech graphical interfaces are often driven by hundreds of keystrokes which do not appear anywhere on the screen.
   
10. IP addresses automatically supply the feds with the physical address (ie log on and they know where you are!)
    
11. Word processors never display a cursor.
    
12. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences. Just keep hitting the keys without stopping
    
13. All monitors display 2 inch high letters.
    
14. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
    
15. Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
    
16. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
    
17. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and monitors.
    
18. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
    
19. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters come across the screen.
    
20. All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward. (See #7, above)
    
21. People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.
    
22. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
    
23. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.
    
24. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.
    
25. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
    
26. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file -- and there are no undelete utilities.
    
27. If a disk has encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.
    
28. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.
    
29. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labelled.
    
30. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.
    
31. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY-MP.
    
32. Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face.
    
33. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.
    
34. Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down users.
    
35. Any photograph can have minute details pulled out of it. You can zoom into any picture as far as you want to.
    

Edited April 15, 2008 by Crossy

[suegha]

Excellent crossy. No one ever sits there and says 'Hang on, it's running a bit slow today.'