The Way Thai People Look At You

[YoungFarang13]

maybe i am just paranoid but i feel like a sideshow when i am in thailand and walking around with a Thai girl. in other countries, its like we blend and nobody even gives us a second glance... while in Thailand every Somchai and Ping (under a certain income bracket) can't take their eyes off us, and there are too many of those looks... Hard to describe but its like a combination of.... there is a booger hanging out of your nose, they are jealous that you have nicer X then they do, you stepped on their shoes, you reminded them of a funny joke etc.

it kind of feels like the farang male/ thai female numbers in Thailand have reached the staggering point where one cannot avoid being lumped in with the others regardless of how they dress and act. you cannot turn 90 degrees without seeing a farang male and thai female hand in hand. And it feels like we are not at all respected in Thailand, likely because of the way some of us have handled ourselves. Comments?

[nidge]

Perhaps you do have a booger hanging out of your nose! Or maybe it is the places you go? I don't get these "looks" but then again i am not in a place with a high population of farangs.

Nidge.

[YoungFarang13]

for places, its pretty much everywhere, which is not to say that everyone gives me these routine looks, just that its not uncommon anywhere. The most common thing is for them to do the 'look you down from head to toe, look her down from head to toe, look at what you are holding, then stare at you for 5-6 more BTS stations'.

[nidge]

I guess then for places, everywhere means Bangkok? Try visiting places where there are no tourists. You will find a totally different attitude i am sure.

[YoungFarang13]

yeah bkk, fwiw.

[tingtong]

I find that I get much less of the funny look when my son is with us...particularly on those tourist places.

Anyway, where I live not much farang, still, much less funny looks.

[jdinasia]

I'm going for the booger theory. The only place my partner and I have gotten 'looks' was in Hua Hin and that was from an older Thai Chinese couple. (I handed them one of his business cards )

[howtoescape]

I guess then for places, everywhere means Bangkok? Try visiting places where there are no tourists. You will find a totally different attitude i am sure.

From my experence no one in BKK raises an eyebrow as there are so many mixed couples.

If I go to a smaller city I get looked at all the time as im the novelty farang, whether im with a girl or not, us handsome men dont have it easy blending in.

[joskydive]

I know what you mean. I live in Pattaya. As soon as my Thai husband and I go out of the Soi we've lived in, for years, we get these looks but now I play them at their own game and wear my own crash helmet which has, in quite large letters, ATM right across the front. We get even funnier looks when he wears it!

[ade100]

Staring is a very powerful indicator of the level of sophistication to which a society has elevated itself. Staring is inversely proportional to civilisation. The biggest starers in the world are the French and the Chinese. The biggest non-staring country is Japan.

I rest my case.

:-)

[Huey]

I get stares alone so I'm used to it anyway

[farang prince]

for places, its pretty much everywhere, which is not to say that everyone gives me these routine looks, just that its not uncommon anywhere. The most common thing is for them to do the 'look you down from head to toe, look her down from head to toe, look at what you are holding, then stare at you for 5-6 more BTS stations'.

They are trying to figure out how much you are paying for her.

[isabelle17]

I have found out some of the reasons why some Thai people (mostly thai girls) stare at me and my boyfriend when we are together:

"Why are you with him, he is so ugly!?!?!"

And by ugly, they mean that he has dark skin....

Other reasons could include: I have white skin, I am a foreigner, I have something in my teeth....etc.

I would recommend getting used to the stares because they wont go away anytime soon! Or you could just stare at them back like I do.

[tsocr]

When I am in BKK at a tourist area yes you can always expect some strange looks. With or without your girl. Up in the village when I first arrived I was stared at and mostly smiled at all the time as I was new and different. The kids would do the most looking. Now I am just that farang guy. Best bet is just stare back at them in the eyes and smile.

[elkangorito]

maybe i am just paranoid but i feel like a sideshow when i am in thailand and walking around with a Thai girl. in other countries, its like we blend and nobody even gives us a second glance... while in Thailand every Somchai and Ping (under a certain income bracket) can't take their eyes off us, and there are too many of those looks... Hard to describe but its like a combination of.... there is a booger hanging out of your nose, they are jealous that you have nicer X then they do, you stepped on their shoes, you reminded them of a funny joke etc.

it kind of feels like the farang male/ thai female numbers in Thailand have reached the staggering point where one cannot avoid being lumped in with the others regardless of how they dress and act. you cannot turn 90 degrees without seeing a farang male and thai female hand in hand. And it feels like we are not at all respected in Thailand, likely because of the way some of us have handled ourselves. Comments?

Forgiving your shocking English/grammar, do you really spend time worrying what others think of you? If you do, you are almost a perfect Thai.

If you allow the thoughts of others to have a direct influence upon your life, you have no control over your life...the others do!

[Ijustwannateach]

I've only ever experienced unpleasant looks or stares from foreigners. Locals will usually chat with my date or friend and me, and I've even been amused once or twice when a Thai guy tried to collect a date's phone number without my finding out. However, I'm pretty discreet in public and I don't go around holding hands, hugging, etc., etc.

Handholding is borderline OK public behaviour, even for men and women, and it helps if the two are a well-matched pair (both look the same general age, lifestyle, employment, etc.) I've been here long enough that I find myself cringing (or smiling) along with a lot of the rest of the population when a foreigner and his 'date' are either necking or fighting in public. Most normal Thai girls in real relationships wouldn't be doing that kind of thing publicly, and most of the time the general perception is accurate.

"S"

[dee123]

...I remember reading something in a book written by one of the very first westerners to set foot in siam,...who said the Thais would constantly stare at her,.....

[britmaveric]

Stare back!

[deon]

No its not just you the first time i went there , i thought was i a alien or did i have to heads or something . It got so bad ,i was really thinking of getting a t shirt made. Saying is there a problem, or something wrong with me .But i thought no i had best not , as it could be taken the wrong way, but i know what u mean .I have just been there for amonth last month it was still the same though i would say not as bad now .As i offen stay in the same part of bkk o i guess they are geting use to seeing my face.

Edited April 11, 2008 by deon

[howtoescape]

I'm pretty discreet in public and I don't go around holding hands, hugging, etc., etc.

Handholding is borderline OK public behaviour, even for men and women, and it helps if the two are a well-matched pair (both look the same general age, lifestyle, employment, etc.)

I am like yourself i dont like holding hands in public but ive found both bar girls and office girls that ive spent time with seem to demand it as its some kind of romantic gesture, either that or maybe they think i am going run off.

[PhilHarries]

You are out with your lady and you notice other people?

[micksterbs]

Staring is a very powerful indicator of the level of sophistication to which a society has elevated itself. Staring is inversely proportional to civilisation. The biggest starers in the world are the French and the Chinese. The biggest non-staring country is Japan.

I rest my case.

:-)

Yep, I agree. I tend not to notice the stares here after having lived in the Philippines for a while. There, you can be sat in a jeepney and all the people sat opposite will be staring straight at you, totally un-selfconsciously. Very off-putting.

I would also suggest that we're probably more used to seeing foreigners in the West, especially if one lives in a university town. Here, there's still a certain novelty in seeing someone from "outside".

[sgunn65]

When I first moved to Bkk we lived in an area where there were only 2 white guys and the first few times we went to the market people would openly stare but after a few weeks I became just another fixture.

We have now moved to a small village outside of Kanchaniburi where we have set up a business and the stares are back but only because they don't get many westerners out here. However I employ 3 Brits so I guess they will find us boring too soon.

I suppose it helps that my wife does not look Thai and is usually mistaken for Japanese or Singaporean so we don't get much in the way of another bargirl/ATM type stares.

Bottom line its just the way it is get used to it and try not to trip up on the pavement

[retiredusn]

for places, its pretty much everywhere, which is not to say that everyone gives me these routine looks, just that its not uncommon anywhere. The most common thing is for them to do the 'look you down from head to toe, look her down from head to toe, look at what you are holding, then stare at you for 5-6 more BTS stations'.

They are trying to figure out how much you are paying for her.

BULL............I have a little blond farang wife and when folks stare (mostly thai guys) I stare back at their lady and that normally stops the looks. It gets to be fun.

[Mosha]

Where our house is is on a corner. It used to get quite scarey as they passed on the motor bikes, staring at me instead of the road. A few near misses. I wanted to put up a sign saying see the farang 5 Baht a look.

[PeaceBlondie]

We really are aliens. We sometimes have boogers, which they notice. They have little else to do at the time, and we are so much more interesting, handsome or beautiful. I like to engage them in talk, such as "Where are you from?" If they ask, I say "I am from Chiang Mai." Maybe we should ask, "Have you noticed a difference in physiognomy between regular Mennonites and the Kaufmanites, or is that just German squareheadedness? Did you know that American Indians are not Indians, but they are Asians? Your skin is darker than mine, if we were both naked. You do not look like a Siamese cat..."

[Kilgore Trout]

maybe i am just paranoid but i feel like a sideshow when i am in thailand and walking around with a Thai girl. in other countries, its like we blend and nobody even gives us a second glance... while in Thailand every Somchai and Ping (under a certain income bracket) can't take their eyes off us, and there are too many of those looks... Hard to describe but its like a combination of.... there is a booger hanging out of your nose, they are jealous that you have nicer X then they do, you stepped on their shoes, you reminded them of a funny joke etc.

it kind of feels like the farang male/ thai female numbers in Thailand have reached the staggering point where one cannot avoid being lumped in with the others regardless of how they dress and act. you cannot turn 90 degrees without seeing a farang male and thai female hand in hand. And it feels like we are not at all respected in Thailand, likely because of the way some of us have handled ourselves. Comments?

The worst is when I'm stuck on my motorbike in traffic behind a pick up full of kids or laborers; they look at you like its the funniest thing they have ever seen "hey man, look at the falang!" and they all laugh. Imagine if I did that to an asian in another country, everyone would look at me like I am the biggest a#@hole in the world. Just goes to show the mentality of people here.

[Dakhar]

maybe i am just paranoid but i feel like a sideshow when i am in thailand and walking around with a Thai girl. in other countries, its like we blend and nobody even gives us a second glance... while in Thailand every Somchai and Ping (under a certain income bracket) can't take their eyes off us, and there are too many of those looks... Hard to describe but its like a combination of.... there is a booger hanging out of your nose, they are jealous that you have nicer X then they do, you stepped on their shoes, you reminded them of a funny joke etc.

it kind of feels like the farang male/ thai female numbers in Thailand have reached the staggering point where one cannot avoid being lumped in with the others regardless of how they dress and act. you cannot turn 90 degrees without seeing a farang male and thai female hand in hand. And it feels like we are not at all respected in Thailand, likely because of the way some of us have handled ourselves. Comments?

The worst is when I'm stuck on my motorbike in traffic behind a pick up full of kids or laborers; they look at you like its the funniest thing they have ever seen "hey man, look at the falang!" and they all laugh. Imagine if I did that to an asian in another country, everyone would look at me like I am the biggest a#@hole in the world. Just goes to show the mentality of people here.

I remember a long time a go, I was sitting on a bicycle in Taiwan, and some kid on his scooter started to chuckle and said out loud how silly I looked to be on a bicycle... I said to him, if you were in America sitting on your scooter you would be percieved as silly too. (yes I speak Mandarin)

The kid didn't get the logic.

I just think about my bank account when the peasants start with the smirks and jeers, I think about the fact that my money sitting in the bank is earning in interest more than their labor in a month. Peasant today, peasant tomorrow. Rather than stareing, they should be learning on how to get ahead.... but the temptation that the hammock provides it too strong I guess.

[Maigo6]

The worst is when I'm stuck on my motorbike in traffic behind a pick up full of kids or laborers; they look at you like its the funniest thing they have ever seen "hey man, look at the falang!" and they all laugh. Imagine if I did that to an asian in another country, everyone would look at me like I am the biggest a#@hole in the world. Just goes to show the mentality of people here.

Would you feel the same if it was a pick up full of 19 year old stunners ?

I doubt it somehow.

[Maigo6]

I just think about my bank account when the peasants start with the smirks and jeers, I think about the fact that my money sitting in the bank is earning in interest more than their labor in a month. Peasant today, peasant tomorrow.

Must be very comforting.....