Alternatives To Going Out Boozing

[TenDreams]

Been reading some great advice on this forum, thanks.

When I try and think of something else to do on weekend nights, other than go out boozing at the bars, I get a vaguely panicky sensation. I think it's just cos that's all I have done for so long, I don't know how to fill the void that I feel will be left by not drinking.

Going out with friends (who, to the last man, drink) and staying sober doesn't seem like a fun option, though it may be a learning experience, but I just can't think of anything else to do....

Anybody have any suggestions?

<central Bangkok, no family, no friends who don't drink>

[londonthai]

get for the weekend out of town into the countryside - bicycle or walking in the fields

[Crushdepth]

I don't know how to fill the void that I feel will be left by not drinking.

Start by going out for a 2 hour massage?

(Leave out the clever comments thanks!).

[Fun2Fun]

well..me too..unless in more than a semi-serious relationship..weekends are spent drinking with friends..

[Mighty Mouse]

An important part of life is to socialize with others but that doesn't mean that you need to consume alcohol whilst socializing.

I have a mate who realized that alcohol turns him into an unpleasant beast whilst he was out socializing with friends. It soon became apparent to him that his 'friends' were making excuses to leave whenever the alcohol took a grip on him. He now drinks soft drinks but still socializes with his group and there is no more aggression amongst them.

Alternatives are: Going to the movies, stay home and hire videos, take up night fishing, visit a gym, host dinner parties, go to night school and learn something useful, take up a hobby, join a library, become an active volunteer in charity work...etc. etc.

[garro]

Hi tendreams, I remember when I was drinking and thinking about what I would do with my time without alcohol to fill it. I was amazed to find sober that the days are just not long enough to do all I want to do. If you spent a lot of time drinking it can take time to find out what you enjoy sober.

I am assuming from your post that you have developed some type of alcohol problem. In the early days especially, it's probably a good idea to avoid bars. This shouldn't stop you going our for a nice meal. Go to a show. You are spoiled in BKK for choice. What about an evening swim. Join a gym. I must admit that I have become more of a morning person sober and tend to go to bed early. Find a hobby you enjoy. Many sober people find that they have talents that they never realised they possessed. Become involved in a charity - a great way to meet people and get involved in the community. Take an evening class in any subject that attracts your eye. The possibilities are endless.

Edited April 20, 2008 by garro

[Macx]

Hang out with women more.

They like walking around the Night Bazaar (soon to be closed). Movies. Coffee/tea and cake in cafes.

Here's a novel idea: take a novel to a cafe and read and watch people.

Or you could go to a gym. Workout until you drop and have no energy to go out.

But, seriously, I agree with you it's not easy to "go out" without drinking in BKK.

I think hanging out with women works best for me. They seem to enjoy talking while sober unlike most of my buddies.

And, most of all, your buddies can't fault you for not hanging out with them since you're on dates all the time

[zorro1]

You need to leave BKK for good. But don't move to Pattaya you will drink even more there

[garro]

zorro 1, you just reminded me of the story about many of the temple dogs in Thailand. A lot of these guys have fleas and you will often see these poor guys when you visit a Wat. The fleas bite them, they scratch, move somewhere else, the fleas bit them, they scratch, move somewhere else.....These poor dogs don't realise that the problem isn't their location, but the fact they have fleas.

This is only my experience, but I don't think that it is possible to run away from some problems. I went as far as moving to Saudi, a country where alcohol is banned, but my intake got worse if anything.

Edited April 20, 2008 by garro

[scyriacus]

you're not alone, go to AA, 24 Hr Answering Svc (66)2-2318300

(clever comments welcome thanks!).

[distortedlink]

Easy.

Wine, Women and Song, only cut out the wine part.

Afterall this is Thailand, much more to do than just drinking, unless you`re past it of course.

[bino]

Welcome to the forum TenDreams- good topic. I'll be looking at this with interest. I'm similar- spent the first few years of living in Thailand with the bars and nightlife as the primary social / free time activity. Whilst I've never considered myself a problem drinker, the hangovers were just killing me. I'd be out of commission for a whole day (or two) after a really good night out in Bangkok. As such, I only drink at "occasions". These days, I can count the number of drinks that I have over a year on my fingers. (Some years need to count toes as well.)

Some of the ideas here are good, I especially like the "more dates" option by Macx! Coffee, cake and a movie with a nice woman sounds like a pretty good Saturday night.

This one was good too, and could use some expanding.

get for the weekend out of town into the countryside - bicycle or walking in the fields

A good trip like this is Ayutthaya. Bicycles are available everywhere, as are every style of accommodations from cheap to lavish. The best time to go for a ride is early evening- set out at sundown and go riding through the old Kingdom ruins. Many of them are lit at night, creating an even more dramatic and surreal feeling as you imagine being in the center of an empire that was thriving for centuries before Columbus "discovered" the Americas. If you're lucky, the TAT does sponsor night shows from time to time.

Although we have done the cycle trip a few times, we have never stayed there. We always drive back to Bangkok. However, there are lots of cheap and decent accommodations in Ayutthaya, and most of them will have or arrange the bicycles for you. It would make an ideal weekend away at a decent cost. I don't want to incur the wrath of the mods by posting a link, but a search for "floating guest house in pasak river" will show you something that looks pretty good for someone who wanted to stay in Ayutthaya.

So... does anyone have any more suggestions like this? Where can you go to get out of town on a weekend and have access to a bicycle, on a similar budget as would have been spent in the bars?

[garro]

A meditation retreat is a great opportunity to learn a technique which will improve every area of your life. I have never attended any in BKK, but know there are many.

[TenDreams]

A meditation retreat is a great opportunity to learn a technique which will improve every area of your life. I have never attended any in BKK, but know there are many.

Thanks all, for so many responses.

I have had a few big changes in life recently, changed my job, now working 12 hour days M-F, so that has completely ruled out weekday drinking, not that I ever did much anyway.

I am also moving apartment to an unfamiliar area this week, where I don't now anybody and there are no bars around.

Once I have settle in, I hope to take up yoga and get back in the gym, if I ever find the time...I would also like to return to karate or try Muay Thai, but I have to get back in shape first.

I like the idea of meditation courses a lot too.

Weekends away, I do a lot but usually end up making more of a mess of myself than i would if I stayed in the city. Not passing the buck, but the company I choose to keep doesn't help a lot.

My g/f is teetotal and I sometimes think by spending time with her I wouldn't feel any need to drink, but she lives 9 hours away and works weekends.

Having said that, I like the idea of hanging out with other women to keep myself in check, however, figuring out where to meet likely candidates for that is probably something best saved for another thread!

After an experience I had recently in Laos, I decided to try AA meetings when I got back here. Again, something I will do when I can fit it in...yes, I do kind of feel like I'm making excuses...