A Moral Dilemma

[villagefarang]

A MORAL DILEMMA (Is it ever OK to sleep with a friend of your partner?)

Where do you stand on the issue? Is all fair in love and war? Is there some moral imperative here, that states, you never sleep with a friend's lover or your lover's friend? Can you imagine circumstances where it might be OK or where it is absolutely unforgivable? Would it make a difference where it happened, Thailand or back home?

Before you ask, yes, I have done pretty much anything imaginable but this is not about me. It is more about a friend who I have been helping through a rough patch. I know where I stand, but was curious how moralistic or liberal thinking people might be on TV.

Beside the blogs are still down so thought I might come slumming on the forums.

[hanibal7]

I can imagine a picture of you or your mate with your balls chopped off.thats what i would do and only get a 200 baht fine as i lost face.

[PeaceBlondie]

OK, let's be fair. If your lover, and your lover's lover, and their respective spouses, all sign a witnessed agreement saying they are fine with all that kind of cheating, go ahead. Otherwise, no.

[villagefarang]

I can imagine a picture of you or your mate with your balls chopped off.thats what i would do and only get a 200 baht fine as i lost face.

So that is it?

I thought my friend over reacted to what happened to him. Maybe he should have just gone out into the school yard and had a good punch-up or had the guy and perhaps his girlfriend taken care of. Personally I find that kind of thinking rather primitive.

[sweetchariot]

A MORAL DILEMMA (Is it ever OK to sleep with a friend of your partner?)

Where do you stand on the issue? Is all fair in love and war? Is there some moral imperative here, that states, you never sleep with a friend's lover or your lover's friend? Can you imagine circumstances where it might be OK or where it is absolutely unforgivable? Would it make a difference where it happened, Thailand or back home?

Before you ask, yes, I have done pretty much anything imaginable but this is not about me. It is more about a friend who I have been helping through a rough patch. I know where I stand, but was curious how moralistic or liberal thinking people might be on TV.

Beside the blogs are still down so thought I might come slumming on the forums.

NO NO NO

Why not??

[a2396]

OK, let's be fair. If your lover, and your lover's lover, and their respective spouses, all sign a witnessed agreement saying they are fine with all that kind of cheating, go ahead. Otherwise, no.

Agreed. Good reply. If the other person has no knowledge, it is not really fair. Any such ideas should be discussed, and any understandings reached, before embarking on such a liason.

[villagefarang]

What if your relationship is winding down and you find the love of your life? Someone you are much more compatible with? Should you forgo moving on, just because your partner knows that person?

[villagefarang]

If the male has been unfaithful over the years, isn't it hypocritical to get all huffy about the female's infidelity?

[sriracha john]

(Is it ever OK to sleep with a friend of your partner?)

[sweetchariot]

(Is it ever OK to sleep with a friend of your partner?)

I hereby nominate Sriracha John for the title of Lord of the Smilies

[Beardog]

Absolutely NO.

Have you ever heard of the saying Bro's before Hoe's.

When its all over the girl is gone & so is your Maybe lifelong friend.

Money comes & goes- but tell me what a good friend is worth?

Even in high school & college it is something or some lines are better not crossed. Only a Hoser would shaft a friend!

Chances are you are being used to destroy your friend to make him jealous.

I would rather shoot my foot than destroy a good friendship, as we all know one can usually count your great true friends on one hand-Not counting acquaintances & in between.

Some times in life the big head has to preside over the little head.

No offense to you as I do not think you were in that boat & even if you are food for thought.

Edit: besides you all ready know the nightmares he or she( depending on the situation) has in their personal persona. What makes you think the girl wouldn't do the Teabury shuffle on you as well. If she would do it to him-or her you can bet your ass

your the next one to be on the emotional slaughter line & you still lost your friend & if your friend has any brains that would be the end of it. A friendship is built on mutual trust & that bond has been broken forever.

Even as Peaceblondie put it I personally would not touch the temptation even if it is a cheating & accepted in the relationship.

The other question is why? With all the women in the sea, why not go for a new conquest instead of one you know all the info about. Half (or more) the fun & excitement is in discovery of the person you are pursuing................unless it is a short time your after!

Edited May 4, 2008 by Beardog

[GuestHouse]

Would it make a difference where it happened, Thailand or back home?

As so often is the case - Someone else seems to have lost their moral compass when they moved to Thailand.

[grantbkk]

This is a very wacky or maybe a troll post. Anyone who can type his questions pretty much should be aware of the rules of engagement here in the LOS. If Village Farang is actually in a village I have to agree with hanibal7. If and when he sleeps with one or more of his girlfriend’s friends he has less than a week to get his affairs (no pun) in order. His privates will be included in the family BBQ in order for his girlfriend to save face in front of her family and the rest of the village. The Thai Yellow Pages actually has a section for “Hit Man” for these sort of situations.

The OP says this is a moral dilemma. He also says he is slumming by contributing and visiting TV. Well if this is really a moral dilemma for him he should tell us where he went to comprehensive school and church (if any) which had an influence in developing his very peculiar moral compass. He may be excused if he is new to LOS. Some people come here with dreams formed in pubs and at home while watching Asian pornography.

Anyway, the OP should be made aware that no secrets can be kept between Thai girlfriends. He may go a week or two before everyone knows his “secret” so I feel this chances being caught at running at about 100%. I once had to go to a carwash to buy one of those pine scented tree things you hang off of the rearview mirror for a friend who just had a colostomy bag installed. To the OP: Your are going to need to do the same thing when you have to pee in a bag.

Good luck! The pine scent works the best to cover the smell of leaking urine. Just wear it around your neck.

[villagefarang]

I would love to give details of this particular situation but being privy to the secrets of both parties I feel it is more prudent to keep things theoretical. For most of you it might not make any difference anyway as it appears you see this in Black or White terms.

[villagefarang]

This is a very wacky or maybe a troll post. Anyone who can type his questions pretty much should be aware of the rules of engagement here in the LOS. If Village Farang is actually in a village I have to agree with hanibal7. If and when he sleeps with one or more of his girlfriend's friends he has less than a week to get his affairs (no pun) in order. His privates will be included in the family BBQ in order for his girlfriend to save face in front of her family and the rest of the village. The Thai Yellow Pages actually has a section for "Hit Man" for these sort of situations.

The OP says this is a moral dilemma. He also says he is slumming by contributing and visiting TV. Well if this is really a moral dilemma for him he should tell us where he went to comprehensive school and church (if any) which had an influence in developing his very peculiar moral compass. He may be excused if he is new to LOS. Some people come here with dreams formed in pubs and at home while watching Asian pornography.

Anyway, the OP should be made aware that no secrets can be kept between Thai girlfriends. He may go a week or two before everyone knows his "secret" so I feel this chances being caught at running at about 100%. I once had to go to a carwash to buy one of those pine scented tree things you hang off of the rearview mirror for a friend who just had a colostomy bag installed. To the OP: Your are going to need to do the same thing when you have to pee in a bag.

Good luck! The pine scent works the best to cover the smell of leaking urine. Just wear it around your neck.

Come on grantbkk, I made it clear that I have been helping a friend who is going through this. His high powered corporate girlfriend moved on after giving him the benefit of the doubt for a very long time.

[sriracha john]

(Is it ever OK to sleep with a friend of your partner?)

I hereby nominate Sriracha John for the title of Lord of the Smilies

Just trying to keep things in perspective.... perhaps a lot of the "dilemma" hinges on it...

For most of you it might not make any difference anyway as it appears you see this in Black or White terms.

perhaps it is... if the Thai-version of this is involved....

[Beardog]

(Is it ever OK to sleep with a friend of your partner?)

I hereby nominate Sriracha John for the title of Lord of the Smilies

Just trying to keep things in perspective.... perhaps a lot of the "dilemma" hinges on it...

For most of you it might not make any difference anyway as it appears you see this in Black or White terms.

perhaps it is... if the Thai-version of this is involved....

Oi! OMG I think I am going to toss my breakfast.

[villagefarang]

Women don't have the same options as males for sexual liaisons and are more apt to find a new partner from within their circle of friends. So if the new and old guy know each other does that mean she is stuck with the old guy?

[villagefarang]

I sure hope the blogs come back online soon! I had forgotten how little thought and insight there is on the forums.

Edited May 4, 2008 by villagefarang

[toptuan]

Would it make a difference where it happened, Thailand or back home?

As so often is the case - Someone else seems to have lost their moral compass when they moved to Thailand.

Something about Thailand that can reveal the fact that sometimes one never had a compass...

[villagefarang]

Would it make a difference where it happened, Thailand or back home?

As so often is the case - Someone else seems to have lost their moral compass when they moved to Thailand.

Something about Thailand that can reveal the fact that sometimes one never had a compass...

Do you guy even bother to read what is written?

[lannarebirth]

Usually we get the story of the dead farang or the farang who lost everything to his Thai partner. Often we're left thiking "there must be more to this story". Seen in that light, it's refreshing to get a "before" story. A few more details would be helpful.

[villagefarang]

Usually we get the story of the dead farang or the farang who lost everything to his Thai partner. Often we're left thiking "there must be more to this story". Seen in that light, it's refreshing to get a "before" story. A few more details would be helpful.

I was wondering who would be the one to ask for "details". There is always some guy who want all the dirty little details. As I said it is too personal and I am privy to too much private stuff that I don't want to divulge to some of these guys. I have spent many hours on the phone listening to this story and consoling the best I can but will not give details.

Lets keep this theoretical and answer the original question: "Where do you stand on the issue? Is all fair in love and war? Is there some moral imperative here, that states, you never sleep with a friend's lover or your lover's friend? Can you imagine circumstances where it might be OK or where it is absolutely unforgivable?"

[lannarebirth]

Usually we get the story of the dead farang or the farang who lost everything to his Thai partner. Often we're left thiking "there must be more to this story". Seen in that light, it's refreshing to get a "before" story. A few more details would be helpful.

I was wondering who would be the one to ask for "details". There is always some guy who want all the dirty little details. As I said it is too personal and I am privy to too much private stuff that I don't want to divulge to some of these guys. I have spent many hours on the phone listening to this story and consoling the best I can but will not give details.

Lets keep this theoretical and answer the original question: "Where do you stand on the issue? Is all fair in love and war? Is there some moral imperative here, that states, you never sleep with a friend's lover or your lover's friend? Can you imagine circumstances where it might be OK or where it is absolutely unforgivable?"

OK, these doesn't seem like a love/war issue. More like a lust issue. In love, a good deal of trust is involved. All types of behavior are not fair where parties have jointly given their trust to each other. In war, nothing is fair.

[villagefarang]

Usually we get the story of the dead farang or the farang who lost everything to his Thai partner. Often we're left thiking "there must be more to this story". Seen in that light, it's refreshing to get a "before" story. A few more details would be helpful.

I was wondering who would be the one to ask for "details". There is always some guy who want all the dirty little details. As I said it is too personal and I am privy to too much private stuff that I don't want to divulge to some of these guys. I have spent many hours on the phone listening to this story and consoling the best I can but will not give details.

Lets keep this theoretical and answer the original question: "Where do you stand on the issue? Is all fair in love and war? Is there some moral imperative here, that states, you never sleep with a friend's lover or your lover's friend? Can you imagine circumstances where it might be OK or where it is absolutely unforgivable?"

OK, these doesn't seem like a love/war issue. More like a lust issue. In love, a good deal of trust is involved. All types of behavior are not fair where parties have jointly given their trust to each other. In war, nothing is fair.

It seems to me that all deals we enter into are conditional. Lovers make many promises but they are conditional, whether stated or not. If a girl promised to love me forever, but I beat her or was unfaithful how could I expect her to keep that promise. There are deal breakers out there but I doubt they are the same for everyone.

[adjan jb]

Usually we get the story of the dead farang or the farang who lost everything to his Thai partner. Often we're left thiking "there must be more to this story". Seen in that light, it's refreshing to get a "before" story. A few more details would be helpful.

I was wondering who would be the one to ask for "details". There is always some guy who want all the dirty little details. As I said it is too personal and I am privy to too much private stuff that I don't want to divulge to some of these guys. I have spent many hours on the phone listening to this story and consoling the best I can but will not give details.

Lets keep this theoretical and answer the original question: "Where do you stand on the issue? Is all fair in love and war? Is there some moral imperative here, that states, you never sleep with a friend's lover or your lover's friend? Can you imagine circumstances where it might be OK or where it is absolutely unforgivable?"

If it's too personal, why did you bother to post?

What war has to do with this story?

To answer your questions, I can't imagine any circumstances where it might be OK for me to cheat on my lover and my friends. I follow my heart and it tells me that, no matter what others (lover and friends) might do to me, as long as they are my lover and my friends, I want to be someone they can rely on.

[villagefarang]

Usually we get the story of the dead farang or the farang who lost everything to his Thai partner. Often we're left thiking "there must be more to this story". Seen in that light, it's refreshing to get a "before" story. A few more details would be helpful.

I was wondering who would be the one to ask for "details". There is always some guy who want all the dirty little details. As I said it is too personal and I am privy to too much private stuff that I don't want to divulge to some of these guys. I have spent many hours on the phone listening to this story and consoling the best I can but will not give details.

Lets keep this theoretical and answer the original question: "Where do you stand on the issue? Is all fair in love and war? Is there some moral imperative here, that states, you never sleep with a friend's lover or your lover's friend? Can you imagine circumstances where it might be OK or where it is absolutely unforgivable?"

If it's too personal, why did you bother to post?

What war has to do with this story?

To answer your questions, I can't imagine any circumstances where it might be OK for me to cheat on my lover and my friends. I follow my heart and it tells me that, no matter what others (lover and friends) might do to me, as long as they are my lover and my friends, I want to be someone they can rely on.

Thanks for the straight forward answer.

I was simply referencing the old adage that all is fair in love and war.

The details are personal but the concept is universal.

Does that answer your questions?

[farang prince]

A MORAL DILEMMA (Is it ever OK to sleep with a friend of your partner?)

Where do you stand on the issue? Is all fair in love and war? Is there some moral imperative here, that states, you never sleep with a friend's lover or your lover's friend? Can you imagine circumstances where it might be OK or where it is absolutely unforgivable? Would it make a difference where it happened, Thailand or back home?

Before you ask, yes, I have done pretty much anything imaginable but this is not about me. It is more about a friend who I have been helping through a rough patch. I know where I stand, but was curious how moralistic or liberal thinking people might be on TV.

Beside the blogs are still down so thought I might come slumming on the forums.

So this is a boredom troll?

Sleeping with a friend's lover could create more than a moral dilemma...it could create a life and death dilemma if you are caught. Can you outrun a bullet?

[lilBob]

Absolutely NO.

Have you ever heard of the saying Bro's before Hoe's.

When its all over the girl is gone & so is your Maybe lifelong friend.

Money comes & goes- but tell me what a good friend is worth?

Even in high school & college it is something or some lines are better not crossed. Only a Hoser would shaft a friend!

Chances are you are being used to destroy your friend to make him jealous.

I would rather shoot my foot than destroy a good friendship, as we all know one can usually count your great true friends on one hand-Not counting acquaintances & in between.

Some times in life the big head has to preside over the little head.

No offense to you as I do not think you were in that boat & even if you are food for thought.

Edit: besides you all ready know the nightmares he or she( depending on the situation) has in their personal persona. What makes you think the girl wouldn't do the Teabury shuffle on you as well. If she would do it to him-or her you can bet your ass

your the next one to be on the emotional slaughter line & you still lost your friend & if your friend has any brains that would be the end of it. A friendship is built on mutual trust & that bond has been broken forever.

Even as Peaceblondie put it I personally would not touch the temptation even if it is a cheating & accepted in the relationship.

The other question is why? With all the women in the sea, why not go for a new conquest instead of one you know all the info about. Half (or more) the fun & excitement is in discovery of the person you are pursuing................unless it is a short time your after!

Well I'm a maybe

The question was would you sleep with a friends lover/wife, not form a lasting relationship with them. Also i have trouble with the term friend or the definition of it.

Would I bonk a girlfriend of an acquaintance (ie I've met him a few times and he is now overseas working,)

Yes I think I would.(hey it's not my fault I'm just a lesbian trapped in a mans body ).

Would I treat the lover/wife of my best and truest friends the same way NO NO NO.

Yeah I know about double standards but I'm also a slut

lilBob

[villagefarang]

Well I'm a maybe

The question was would you sleep with a friends lover/wife, not form a lasting relationship with them. Also i have trouble with the term friend or the definition of it.

Would I bonk a girlfriend of an acquaintance (ie I've met him a few times and he is now overseas working,)

Yes I think I would.(hey it's not my fault I'm just a lesbian trapped in a mans body ).

Would I treat the lover/wife of my best and truest friends the same way NO NO NO.

Yeah I know about double standards but I'm also a slut

lilBob

Thanks for your honesty. You seem to have a little imagination and can consider the possibilities. Other just keep trying to make this about me. Not real serious but to the point non the less.