Managing Money

[cheynewalk]

My thai partner and I are in a relationship where I pay virtually all the household expenses via giving her a monthly allowance. I also paid fully for our new house, though my partner did contribute some furniture left over from her old business.

But I suppose coming from a western background the idea of her being totally and utterly financially dependent upon me continues to amaze. I said to her the other day "what would you do if I went back to Australia on one of my trips and got run over by a bus, and never came back?" She replied quite calmly "I'd have to find a new boyfriend!". It totally amazes me that she has absolutely no future plan. Every cent I give her she merrily spends each month, never saving a brass razoo for a rainy day. I don't mind this per se as it was part of the deal we came too and she can do with the money as she pleases (as long as I'm fed ok and the house is maintained, which she does admirably), however I would have thought even she would perhaps want to have some money of her own, either through working herself or saving.

I suppose its part of that thai outlook on life - where socialising with your friends, eating and sleeping are the main priorities. Other activities such as work, and planning for the future rank a very poor second and are hindrances to be endured before getting back to the main 3 priorities.

I was speaking to a chinese woman the other day about this and she shared my concerns. I also think it is no co-incidence that chinese communities in most south-east asian countires, including thailand are generally the wealthiest. This lady who has her own export business is quite wealthy, but she works 6-7 days a week, 12 hours a day and plans to retire at 50 years of age. She said many of her thai employees must be treated with kid gloves, if you ask them to work too much they won't come back, many take every available opportunity to "have a bludge", go sick and gamble their days wages away playing dominoes at lunch time. And when they get upset with her, blame her and say "its easy for you because you're rich!"

Don't get me wrong, I choose to spend most of my retired life here precisely because the thais love to sleep, eat and relax. But its a bit rich for them to cry poormouth, blame everybody else or find some falang to support them when things go pearshaped, as they often do. It seems many thais don't get the connection between being wealthy (relatively) and what it requires to get there.

[true blue]

TIT, there seemingly happy and contented, to live life on a daily basis. good luck to them.

[bendix]

It seems many thais don't get the connection between being wealthy (relatively) and what it requires to get there.

And it seems many farang don't understand how small-minded it is to extrapolate their own personal experience onto an entire race or population.

It would be very interesting to learn more about this girl - her background, her education level, how you located her. I won't pry too much; but i think we can draw some conclusions.

Just because the type of girl who hooks up with a farang behaves in a certain way, doesnt mean EVERY Thai acts the same way. My own wife is an inveterate saver, despite me telling her there is really no need as she will be covered should anything happen to me. Good for her, I say. It was how she was raised, and I admire her for it. Dozens of other Thais I know - from all walks of life - show different characteristics. A rich Chinese-Thai lawyer I know from work is hopelessly (and dangerously) in debt. A secretary I work with and who earns 35,000 a month has saved enough, after living at home with her parents till the age of 31, to finally be able to pay a deposit on her first condo.

It's a big country out there.

[Jefferson]

Well, that didn't take long to proceed to a 'my girlfriend is better than yours' type of argument. Excellent.

I said to her the other day "what would you do if I went back to Australia on one of my trips and got run over by a bus, and never came back?"

Mine bought insurance for me..

[astral]

Well, that didn't take long to proceed to a 'my girlfriend is better than yours' type of argument. Excellent.

I said to her the other day "what would you do if I went back to Australia on one of my trips and got run over by a bus, and never came back?"

Mine bought insurance for me..

Watch out next time you cross the road............

[Jefferson]

Mine bought insurance for me..

Watch out next time you cross the road............

Well there's a comment I didn't expect... ....

[jrbkk64]

Well, that didn't take long to proceed to a 'my girlfriend is better than yours' type of argument. Excellent.

I said to her the other day "what would you do if I went back to Australia on one of my trips and got run over by a bus, and never came back?"

Mine bought insurance for me..

watch your back :-0

[jrbkk64]

Well, that didn't take long to proceed to a 'my girlfriend is better than yours' type of argument. Excellent.

I said to her the other day "what would you do if I went back to Australia on one of my trips and got run over by a bus, and never came back?"

Mine bought insurance for me..

watch your back :-0

Hi Jefferson,

Fell into the trap! Congratulations! Watch your back anyway.

JR

[GuestHouse]

Every cent I give her she merrily spends each month, never saving a brass razoo for a rainy day. I don't mind this per se as it was part of the deal we came too and she can do with the money as she pleases (as long as I'm fed ok and the house is maintained, which she does admirably), however I would have thought even she would perhaps want to have some money of her own, either through working herself or saving.

My guess is that if she decided she needed her own money and went out and got a job, a conflict would arise between her working outside the house and her doing the 'house maid' bit.

As you say you struck a deal - You pay and you get something for your money. She gets pid and gives something for her 'wage'.

Having set up and encouraged this relationship deal, it seems odd now to be complain that you are getting what you pay for.

Edited May 6, 2008 by GuestHouse

[mellow1]

Most of the Thais I know seem to fall into the hand to mouth existence which the OP is writing about. Many seem to think that if you have nice things ( home, car ,etc.) you somehow got them for free, and should now donate to them. My wife worked all her life in a market where she had her own business. Since we got married 13 yrs. ago she has wanted to get back to work a few times. When we lived in the US our son was very small and I worked all the time, many times away from home. Who would have taken care of our son? Here in Thailand, the income from most jobs is very small, profit margins likewise. The little money that this would provide would make no significant difference in our lives. Therefore I have always said to her to remain a homemaker. Should something happen to me, the wife and the son will be taken care of, a benefit from me having worked my but off in the US. There are a number of Thais out there which I have met, who are really go getters, and who provide very well for their families, but this is far from the norm. I can only write about my experience here in Issan, maybe in Bangkok, the norm is different then here. It's sad to see people without any motivation to better their lot. I have no intention of supporting anyone other than my wife and son, so it's really none of my business, how they provide for themselves and their future needs. The Chinese families seem to have it much more together, but obviously not enough to allow any foreign competition. So I suppose one can draw a conclusion from that. Somehow this country is functioning and moving along, but I have no idea how.

[AFKAFSinLOS]

It seems many thais don't get the connection between being wealthy (relatively) and what it requires to get there.

And it seems many farang don't understand how small-minded it is to extrapolate their own personal experience onto an entire race or population.

It would be very interesting to learn more about this girl - her background, her education level, how you located her. I won't pry too much; but i think we can draw some conclusions.

Just because the type of girl who hooks up with a farang behaves in a certain way, doesnt mean EVERY Thai acts the same way. My own wife is an inveterate saver, despite me telling her there is really no need as she will be covered should anything happen to me. Good for her, I say. It was how she was raised, and I admire her for it. Dozens of other Thais I know - from all walks of life - show different characteristics. A rich Chinese-Thai lawyer I know from work is hopelessly (and dangerously) in debt. A secretary I work with and who earns 35,000 a month has saved enough, after living at home with her parents till the age of 31, to finally be able to pay a deposit on her first condo.

It's a big country out there.

Of course there are always exceptions to any rule, and of course stereotyping can be unfair, but perhaps you overlooked that Cheynewalk wrote "many" and not "all", or perhaps you haven't been here long enough to be able to spot patterns, understand the demographics, culture, philosophies and wealth distributions in the country...

A couple of quick stats:

Less than half of all Thais save anything at all in a month

Less than 5% save in means other than cash...

Understand that less than say of Thais 20% are "middle class" and it's not hard to see the problems the other 80%+ face... I'd consider that 80%+ was "many"...

In addition to some Thai religious/cultural misconceptions about how you get wealthy in Thailand, there's a certain resignation/belief for many Thais that they will never get anywhere, and the systems are stacked against them...so why bother?

Edited May 6, 2008 by AFKAFSinLOS

[bendix]

Now let's talk about savings rates in, oh - just for argument's sake - the US?

How do they compare with these fiscally imprudent Thais?

[AFKAFSinLOS]

Now let's talk about savings rates in, oh - just for argument's sake - the US?

How do they compare with these fiscally imprudent Thais?

Or at least I'm assuming you're joking . If in the unlikely event you're not I'll leave it to you to do the maths on average net assets per capita divided by average income per capita in each country.

Then to get an even clearer picture, strip out the wealthiest 50 families... or any other eleitiest measure and watch the averages be skewed even more

Edited May 6, 2008 by AFKAFSinLOS

[mellow1]

Now let's talk about savings rates in, oh - just for argument's sake - the US?

How do they compare with these fiscally imprudent Thais?

Lets compare why they aren't living as well then.

[William Osborne]

.

Having set up and encouraged this relationship deal, it seems odd now to be complain that you are getting what you pay for.

whats that all about ? , you know you can delete text on a computer screen !!, its not a biro where you got to cross it out

[TheDon]

Well im the spender in our relationship and my wife is the saver, she is always on my back about me going out getting pissed with my mates.

I dont know any other Thai who dont save, but the Thai's I know are middle to upper class Thais. I dont know any poor Thai's, also I dont live in Thailand so thats probably why.

And did someone say compare US to Thai's in assets? You are joking right?

[Spee]

Every cent I give her she merrily spends each month, never saving a brass razoo for a rainy day. I don't mind this per se as it was part of the deal we came too and she can do with the money as she pleases (as long as I'm fed ok and the house is maintained, which she does admirably), however I would have thought even she would perhaps want to have some money of her own, either through working herself or saving.

My guess is that if she decided she needed her own money and went out and got a job, a conflict would arise between her working outside the house and her doing the 'house maid' bit.

As you say you struck a deal - You pay and you get something for your money. She gets pid and gives something for her 'wage'.

Having set up and encouraged this relationship deal, it seems odd now to be complain that you are getting what you pay for.

This could be said just as easily for any number of countries and any number of women in the west and other parts of the world.

If nothing else, marriage is a business.

[Wrong Turn]

Having set up and encouraged this relationship deal, it seems odd now to be complain that you are getting what you pay for.

Wise words from GH.

It's about qualifying.

Many factors involved, and they can vary from person to person in what they feel is important.

I would not want to someone completely financially dependent upon me.

To each their own, however.

[JetsetBkk]

Mine bought insurance for me..

Watch out next time you cross the road............

Well there's a comment I didn't expect... ....

Really? I was going to make it, but Astral beat me to it.

.

Having set up and encouraged this relationship deal, it seems odd now to be complain that you are getting what you pay for.

whats that all about ? , you know you can delete text on a computer screen !!, its not a biro where you got to cross it out

Well, if you don't know you're a bit bloody thick not very clever.