In Court

The judge frowned at the tired robber and said, “Then you admit breaking into the same store on three successive nights?”

”Yes, your honor.”

“And why was that?”

“Because my wife wanted a dress.”

The judge check with his records, “But it says here you broke in three nights in a row!”

“Yes sir. She made me exchange it two times.”

*******

Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, “You can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers.”

The man thought for a moment. “What are peers?” he asked.

“They’re people just like you – your equals.”

“Forget it,” retorted the defendant. “I don’t want to be tried by a bunch of thieves.”

*******

A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to 8 months jail term with an option of $200 fine by the judge.

His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking, “Your honor, my client can only afford $50, but if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd....?"

*******

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."