Talking Dog

A man and his dog walk into a pub, and turn to the assembled patrons.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the man announces in a loud voice. "I bet anyone here a pint of lager that my dog can talk."

After much cynical muttering from the tables, the barman finally agrees to the bet – and is amazed as the hound perches himself on a barstool and delivers a enters into an insightful dialogue about global warming with his owner.

"That is truly wondrous," says the barman, as he pours the man a pint. "But I bet you another pint that your pooch can't go and get you a newspaper."

After a moment"s thought, the man agrees and slips the dog a crisp fiver. "And I want the change as well," he says.

The dog nods and runs out of the pub. But an hour later he still hasn"t returned. Worried, the man goes out to look for him and finds the dog in a nearby alleyway – shagging a local bitch.

"Oi!" the man yells. "You"ve never done this before."

The dog turns back to the man. "Well," he says, "I"ve never had the money before."