I wonder if anyone else has experienced this strange practice.

My TW's 75 year old granddad (mother's father) has been diagnosed with terminal cancer by the doctors at the local government hospital in Nakhon Sawan. They said it was inoperable and showed the daughter a video of their internal examination.

They have not told granddad, only his children ( all in their 50's).

He has been in considerable pain and his pain control has been sporadic to say the least, often crying out in pain according to my wife.

He has been pleading with his daughter to take him for an operation to make him better.

He seems to think it's about the money it might cost the family.

His daughter is scared to tell him the bad news.

She has obviously been in anguish as to what to do and has been doing a lot of crying too.

I would have thought it better to tell him, so that he will have time to accept the inevitable and say final goodbyes.

What do you think?

I am still in Oz, so I can't do much. Not really for me to say...

I would tend to agree with you about it might be better him knowing as long as his mental state can take it.

Pretty sure in the west it would be the Dr's duty to tell the patient as long as it would not cause further harm.

Yes, he should be told, and the doctor should do it, not lay it on the kids to do. In fact according to both internationally accepted standards of medical ethics and the Thai Medical Board's code, doctors are obligated to provide patients with information as to the nature of their disease, prognosis, options etc.

Now this being Thailand, doctors tend to tell patients in a very soft and roundabout way which leaves plenty of room for them to not get it. It also happens that patients sometimes are told, but chose not to hear because they just aren't ready to handle it.

As you say, there is nothing you can do about this and for all we know, the man's doctors did give him enough information but he just hasn't taken it in. In any case, the main priority is to control his pain which can and should be done. The family should insist on stronger pain killers and if the current hospital is not responsive, take him elsewhere. He does not need to suffer like this, and in a terminal situiation there should be no hesitation about the use of narcotics.

just a side comment, but my mother who was a nurse until about 10 ys ago worked only with the terminally ill and elderly and often they werent told what they had or the prognosis, this on the east coast in the states. in israel also, many elderly often arent told the REAL name etc; along with people

s relunctance to discuss wills, burials etc...

Yes, he should be told, and the doctor should do it, not lay it on the kids to do.

my mother (a brave woman) fought terminal cancer for 3½ years although i was told at the time of diagnosis by her physician that she has a maximum of 6 months to live. we kept her "in the dark" and when (after more than 3 years) the truth was finally revealed to her she gave up fighting, arranged her funeral, taught my father how to operate washer and dryer and died within a few weeks.