Battle over the wipe

[tutsiwarrior]

If wearing long trousers,for sure you have to remove them for a squat toilet

My Asian friends assure me they do NOT remove any clothing

I challenge Prince William and his Asian associates to describe a technique whereby the desired is achieved WITHOUT the benefit of a nozzle and long trouser cuffs remain dry.

If not it would be reasonable to assume that the no clothes off in the toilet assertion to be part of an upcoming marketing campaign re: Mysteries of the Orient Revealed - Basic Instructions for Proper Asian Toilet Hygiene

[Roger13]

Hi Guys,

I appreciate the humour

- it had me curled up.

Personally I have to remove all from the waiste down

My Asian friends tell they only lower the Trousers

to the Knees - not to round the ankles

and use a bowl for the water - not a Spray.

Roger

[tutsiwarrior]

Hi Roger

What you described revealed the obvious that I had ignored...that my Indonesian girl friend was either always naked or just in panties and a t-shirt while at home and did not describe any extraneous complications that would arise from wearing trousers with regard to post bowel movement ablutions. Hence I withdraw my challenge to Prince William but to indicate that the 'hook' concept should proceed to the further development stage.

Asian mothers obviously impart knowledge to their offspring that shall forever remain a secret to a falang. What did William Bendix say in 'The Life of Riley'?...'what a revoltin' situation'...that we can't learn how to wipe/clean our ###es in Asia...

All the best...

[MaiChai]

Did you know that Asian ladies stand on the toilet the opposite way to men, so their pee fires down into the deep end of the toilet?

Washing is much more hygenic then paper. A simple analogy, chocolate melts in the heat and sticks to everything. In a temperate climate it doesn't. Isn't this a nice analogy between using toilet paper and washing?

[Thetyim]

Did you know that Asian ladies stand on the toilet the opposite way to men,

You pathetic pervert.

You've been peeping over the partition again. :laugh:

Seriously thou, I have never heard this before.

Which tribe do your women come from ???

[plachon]

Thanks so much for resurrecting "The battle...." thread which I thought had been flushed down the toilet long ago, but it seems you can't keep good toilet humour down for ever. Now, where did I leave that emergency roll of bog paper and Tutsi's new patented clothes hanger?

PS are you out there Warrior?

[dutch]

Being a member since november last,I never saw this thread.

I really enjoyed the whole story.

For the technic I like the advice from expatclub at the begin.

All the rest was great fun'

Thank you all

[Pink Mist]

Asian mothers obviously impart knowledge to their offspring that shall forever remain a secret to a falang. What did William Bendix say in 'The Life of Riley'?...'what a revoltin' situation'...that we can't learn how to wipe/clean our ###es in Asia...

All the best...</font>

Do any of you guys remember getting arse wiping lessons from Mom? I cant, I developed my own style I'm folder.

Are you's folders or scrunchers interesting techniques, which is best, maybe a poll

Thai toilets take the pants off and aim, you can't guarantee accuracy and the floors are usually wet

[the gentleman]

A Thai toilet is actually a good design as you are naturally opening your bowels and 30% more **** is defecated, so I am told.

I also havent had a tissue touch my butt in 6 years thank god, now I think of it, why would you want to put your fingers near your own butt anyway - unless you have no other choice. Long Live the spray gun - do you have one in Aus Bronco?

[Pink Mist]

We use a lot of paper here, but not much goes on the butts

I dont mind the squat and spray as long as long as you can clean up afterwoods.

[Mango1919]

Hmmmm I wonder if I should just wear tear-away pants on occasions where I think I'll need to use a public toilet.

[Pink Mist]

No Gent we use the paper but "gunna" install a spray one day, a lot easier on the butt, and if ya got the "runs" you know the story it feels like sandpaper eventually.

[the gentleman]

This thread reminds me of the movie "demolition man", with the three shells - remember?

[syd barrett]

People from the west are always puzzled about the bum-clean with a water hose and no use of tissue. The answer is simple;

Just wash your bum with the hose, waggle off the drops and pull up your pants. O.K. it feels a bit damp for ten minutes, but this is a hot country and you automatically dry out. If you tried this in a cold country however you might develop a chapped bum.

[Pink Mist]

and get some strange looks from passers by

[Mango1919]

I don't know. I just see a wet bum in a warm tropical climate as a brooding ground for so many different things.

[plachon]

I don't know. I just see a wet bum in a warm tropical climate as a brooding ground for so many different things.

Yeah, gatoeys brood there, while the bugs breed. Take my advice and eliminate both by being more anally fastidious and use tissue every time you wipe - clean as a whistle, removes stubborn cling-ons the hose misses and no embarassing damp patch on the seat of your trousers that makes everyone think you're incontinent. Just a thought for the day................

[Johnny Moron]

I've been with a lot of whores who've had even more skid marks on their jocks than what I've got so I reckon this wiping your arse with your hand stuff is just a load of &lt;deleted&gt;.

Trust me, if you want a clean arse, just use bog roll or bog tissue.

Believe me when I tell you that some of the jocks I've seen on whores are &lt;deleted&gt;*cing disgusting.

[syd barrett]

Johnny Moron has a point; I have witnessed skid marks on bar girls underwear, but I have concluded that they are incontinent due to excessive anal intercourse, which over time has slackened their internal and external anal sphinchter muscles, so when a watery stool is inhabiting the rectum it leaks causing the skid mark.

I think skid marks in this case has little to do with the hose pipe cleaning of the anus, unless it is sloppy or hurried.

I recommend the ablution hose, it is far more hygenic than wiping, particularly for women. And if there are bar girls reading; anal intercourse need not lead to rectal incontinence if adequate preparation before (penetration) is applied.

[zedato]

- Me, not really much into arse finger painting;

- nor do I much cherish napalm sensations of a badly wiped rose bud;

thus - bumgum all the way.

... & none can say, that posters here don't know their s.hit !!!

[Sick Boy]

The Ring-Piece Rinser over toilet paper anyday.

I shudder when I recall that awful council issued tracing paper like stuff in the public toilets back in the UK which had no absorbant qualities whatsoever so one ended up smearing shit half way up ones back.

My wife was horrified to learn that the British are very fond of carpeting their bathrooms with special attention paid to the toilet with it's own U-shaped little piece to soak up the piss. And of course with matching becarpeted lid.

Not quite as bad as China though where you'll be lucky to have a door. Truely horrific toilets, absolutely terrible.

Great thread.

[Pink Mist]

The penny drops, the money you guys save on no bath gets spent in the crapper

[Thetyim]

I recall that awful council issued tracing paper like stuff in the public toilets back in the UK which had no absorbant qualities whatsoever so one ended up smearing shit half way up ones back.

Yes I remember that stuff, I can also remember the brand names.

One was called Izal and the other one was .......... BRONCO

[Eastender]

I won't say I'm fully comfortable in using a squatter, but I've never felt the need to remove any clothing.

Do Thais/Asians remove their clothing too?

[Martin]

Great thread. Some of the best laughs I've had this week.

My problem is that, as I near 70, my balance isn't what it was. I'm really glad when the hole in the floor is in a small cubicle that allows me to lean gently against the wall. But so manycubicles, especially at gasoline stations, are so large that the walls are too far away.

I am thinking of keeping a portable loo, in the boot of the car, to carry into those big cubicles. There seem to be lots on sale for campers etc in USA, but does anybody know of a stockist in Thailand, please?

Martin

[Martin]

I find the references to Bronco and Izal soooo nostalgic that they have reminded me of grafiti from 60 years ago: "Here I sit, boken-hearted,

Paid the penny, and only farted".

Anybody else remember any vintage models, or just classic ones?

[meemiathai]

Not quite as bad as China though where you'll be lucky to have a door. Truely horrific toilets, absolutely terrible.

There wouldn't be any complaints on Thai toilets from anyone who had used public toilets in HK. Especially if they have been here in the 70s or before, need not bother where the little hole was, just go inside and shit wherever you like. There were shit all over the place and I've heard some cases where people actually pass out during the process due to the pungent smell!Yuk!

Even nowadays, public toilets in Thailand seem to be much cleaner than the ones in HK.

[Pink Mist]

Didn't realise you soap dodgers were so sensitive thetyim

dont understand the insult, whether I'm a bit of thin shitpaper or a pommies shit scribblings on a dunnie wall back to you

[Johnny Moron]

Johnny Moron has a point; I have witnessed skid marks on bar girls underwear, but I have concluded that they are incontinent due to excessive anal intercourse, which over time has slackened their internal and external anal sphinchter muscles, so when a watery stool is inhabiting the rectum it leaks causing the skid mark.

I think skid marks in this case has little to do with the hose pipe cleaning of the anus, unless it is sloppy or hurried.

I recommend the ablution hose, it is far more hygenic than wiping, particularly for women. And if there are bar girls reading; anal intercourse need not lead to rectal incontinence if adequate preparation before (penetration) is applied.

Your posting is of interest and your observations are probably correct. Ultimately however, the type of skid mark to which you refer (which henceforth I shall call Type A) is only one of the two that I have noted here amongst the bar girl classes.

Type A, as you rightly conclude, is the product of excessive anal intercourse and is easily distinguished by its large surface area and even density. It is not unknown for skid marks of this type to have a radius of up to 5 or 6 cm.

Type B, which I personally believe is more common, may be distinguished by its significantly smaller surface area and irregular density. Additionally, it is almost invariably elliptical rather circular in nature. As I wrote previously, my own feeling is that Type B skid marks are generally the result of poor lavatorial hygiene.

A most interesting field of study would be determine the existence or otherwise of any sort of correlation between the two skid mark types and the place of work of the bar girls in question. Considering all three of Bangkok’s main farang-orientated sex venues, I suspect that Type A skid marks would occur most frequently amongst Nana Plaza girls due to the greater propensity of their customers to indulge in anal intercourse. I would suggest that Patpong girls are probably the cleanest (though by no means free of this most unsavoury of blemishes), and that Soi Cowboy girls are the ones who fall victim most frequently to Type B skid marks.

I wonder if anyone else out there has any further comments to offer.

[Marshy]

This sh## is so interesting, gonna buy one of those pocket magnifying lenses. Is there a type C? I think a new thead is in order----- titled---------(The skid report)