Learning Thai Language. But Body Language.

[welovesundaysatspace]

Hi everyone,

today my Thai language lessons started. But what I've read in several articles and books about Thai culture is that Thai language is much more than the spoken words, but additionally a huge amount of subtle body language. Well, fortunately body language is part of every good communication, not only in Thailand. But what I've read, unsure if it's true or not, is that body language here makes a huge amount and is often very subtle; especially this aspect of the Thai culture and their way to communicate is often disregarded by us farang people and so often is an big obstacle getting into the Thais, aside from learning to speak and understand (and maybe read) the spoken language.

As I am generally interested in body language and how people communicate this topic in particular interests me. Can you Thai people tell more about it? Are there any good books or articles on that topic?

[thithi]

be natural...

you just need to notice sometimes.

[DavidHouston]

Please allow me to say a bit about "body language". I am inclined to say that, "just be natural" doesn't quite work; natural to a Thai may not be natural to a Westerner. I have several thoughts on how body language is displayed in this culture:

1. Perhaps the most widely known and practiced "body language" among Thais is the greeting "wai". While the wai looks deceptively simple, most of the time we as foreigners do not do it the way the Thais do. Thais are very tolerant of what we do so we do not hear them complain but we do have a lot to learn. First, it does make a difference how one holds one's hands relative to one's head; generally, the higher the hands are relative to the head, the greater respect is being paid to the recipient of the wai. Second, the head is usually bowed forward to meet the hands; the more senior the recipient is, the greater the bow. Third, older people and those in a senior position get a lot of leeway. Older men who receive wais have the option not to return them. They are not lacking in respect; rather this is their privilege. Interestingly, I have never seen a woman, no matter how old, fail to return a wai. Maybe they are the keepers of the tradition.

In any event, I certainly cannot tell you all the ins and outs or the shades of meaning of the wai exchange. I suggest that you ask a Thai person (preferably a woman) to help you do the gesture as appropriate in a variety of situations. Again, the Thais will almost never criticize you for what you do, but I believe they will appreciate your effort to do it traditionally. The wai and how you express it is a major element of communications.

2. One of the more difficult aspects of body language for us to learn is to display the proper attitude of submissiveness when appropriate. (I suspect that many of our respondents in this forum will dismiss this topic as going too native.) When talking to someone older, or of greater social status, or in a superior position, it is always a good idea to carry yourself in a position of humility. If seated, keep your hands in your lap; keep your knees together or cross your legs at the ankle; sit at the edge of your chair. If standing, keep your hands at your sides; some, bend the shoulders. You might think this is going overboard; however, please consider this advice when you are stopped by the police or for some reason if you need to visit them at the police station, voluntarily or involuntarily.

3. Teachers and students have a whole set of interrelationships which are taught from when a student is very young, both as to oral language and as to body language. Much of this is derived from traditional relationships between parents and children, but in schools is where it is learned and stressed. I cannot describe all aspects of this posturing, but ask a Thai teacher and he or she will tell you. A parallel set of relationships exists between monks and laypersons. Much of the body language between royalty and commoners is displayed in the Buddhist temple and the temple is the closest most Thais will ever get to royalty. Laypersons sit on the floor in front of monks; bow to the floor in greeting; bend low when giving food to the monks; and, use royal language when addressing them.

An excellent, in-depth analysis of interpersonal relationships in Thai society can be found in Niels Mulder's "Inside Thai Society, Religion, Everyday Life, Change", Silkworm Books (2000), about 395 baht.

4. Generally, Thai people are more conservative in their personal movements than westerners. They tend not to gesticulate with their hands while talking and men do not cross their legs with their ankles at the knee. Polite eating is a good skill to learn. Thais are taught never to leave a plate messy; do not take more rice than you can eat. If you do take an appropriate amount, eat everything that you take. You will communicate a lot about yourself by the way you eat, especially in a family setting at home.

Thais respect rice, not only for the many processes it takes to get from seed to table or because it is currently expensive, but because there is something spiritual in the relationship between the Thai and rice. See, for example, http://www.thairice.org/html/article/pdf_f..._of_Culture.pdf. For a discussion in Thai see "ข้าวของพ่อ" by วิมลพรรณ ปีตธวัชชัย, 2548 (2005), 140 baht. Again, do not think of these elements as a set of rules, but rather, a bridge to understanding how Thais carry themselves and communicate to others in a non-verbal sense. I am sure that there is a wide variety of expression among regions and among social classes but there is likely a kernel of commonality throughout the culture. Some Thais, especially in rural areas, are much more traditional in the expression of body language; others in Bangkok and in more modern settings such as the university, are not as traditional. As Khun Thithi said above, careful observation is your best guide.

I wish you the best of luck in your studies and hope that others in this forum, especially native Thais, contribute thoughts to this topic which I have not covered.

[thithi]

here we go ~

[desi]

An excellent, in-depth analysis of interpersonal relationships in Thai society can be found in Niels Mulder's "Inside Thai Society, Religion, Everyday Life, Change", Silkworm Books (2000), about 395 baht.

Thanks for the information and heads up David. I ordered Inside Thai Society via DCO.

Pretty convenient as they have motorcycle delivery (so I took the opportunity to buy Bangkok Inside Out).

Polite eating is a good skill to learn. Thais are taught never to leave a plate messy; do not take more rice than you can eat. If you do take an appropriate amount, eat everything that you take.

I'm not sure where I came across it, but I remember reading that you should leave food on your plate. The reasoning is that if you finish it all, you must still be hungry (?) so would be insulting your Thai host.

But both make sense to me...

I was taught to leave a clean plate (and hated it). Other people I know were taught to leave a little. So in Thailand, perhaps it's the same? Social level, regional, ethnic mix, etc.

[DavidHouston]

Desi,

Thanks for responding. Here is a paragraph from the article referenced, "Rice, the Grain of Culture ", page 6:

"Rice, a food not to be wasted: Since childhood, Thais are taught not to

waste rice. Thus, a number of ways of cooking techniques have been

designed to recycle leftover rice. Any rice remaining after a meal must not

be thrown away, but must be put on the top of new boiled rice in the

cooking pot. As an alternative, it may be dried in the sun as dried boiled

rice “kao taak,” which is generally used as ready food by country folk

while traveling on a long journey. In former times, soldiers in the battlefield

brought Kao Taak as their provisions so they had no need to make a

fire for cooking which endangers the troop in the battle field. Drinking

water after a meal of Kao Taak also helped the soldiers feel full for a long

while because the rice crackers expanded after absorbing water."

I know that this does not answer your question directly because it does not address the issue of rice left on a plate. Does anyone have any thoughts regarding rice on the plate?

[desi]

Hi David,

Thanks, it did answer it in a way. It made me realise that I was using 'rice' for 'food' (as that's what I understand it to be). But they are two different things in this context.

I googled and came up with something similar to what I read recently:

• Leave a little food on your plate after you have eaten to show that you are full. Finishing everything indicates that you are still hungry.

• Never leave rice on your plate as it is considered wasteful. The words for food and rice are the same. Rice has an almost mystical significance in addition to its humdrum 'daily bread' function.

So it's ok to leave my greens, but never my rice. I'm good to go with that.