“Doctor, doctor!” said the panic-stricken woman, “my husband was asleep with his mouth open, and he’s swallowed a mouse! What shall I do?”

“Quite simple,” said the doctor calmly. “You just tie a lump of cheese to a piece of string and lower it into your husband’s mouth. As soon as the mouse takes a bite, haul it out.”

“Oh, I see. Thank you, doctor. I’ll go around to the fishmonger straight away and get a cod’s head.”

“What do you want a cod’s head for?”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I’ve got to get the cat out first!”

did you wake up and look at a "crap jokes" website- the jokes you have posted this morning are awful!!