udon Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Big Spuds, have you offered her the rtn ticket so that she can keep on her person at all times? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard W Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 I know it would be ideal to spend a lot of time together but as replied it is virtually impossible to get that amount of time off work. That is why we spend almost an hour together on the phone each day. We both know we need to spend more time with each other before we committ totally, but its impossible for me and scary for her. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm not sure you do need very long. After being together on 9 days my future wife and I believed we wanted to be together for ever. After that it was two weeks together three month later to check we weren't fooling ourselves, another two week visit seven months later to arrange the settlement interview, and then another visit to marry, have visa interview, and return to England together, all over the space of 14 months. We're still happily married after five and a half years. It may make a difference that we were ten and five years older than you two, but I doubt it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nam Kao Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Spuds, take it slow, and watch your back. Worse case she is better than any lady falang. -regards nam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard W Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Her first time to the embasssy was a bad experience for her, so i understand why she does not want to go alone.If i go back in FEB and wish to change the visa for a fiance visa and hope to bring her back 8th march when should i submit the visa application, what is the waiting time. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> The waiting time is three months, so get cracking! We flew back five days after the visa interview, but I have no idea how long you may have to wait to get a ticket. We were lucky - not only could I change my return date, but we could fly back sooner because I could switch return airport from Heathrow to Gatwick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbo Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 You haven't mentioned the visa fee money plus expenses. Has she still got it, or just spent it? perhaps she will return it in Feb, to help you with the fiance visa cost. Seems like a nice girl. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIG SPUDS Posted November 9, 2004 Author Share Posted November 9, 2004 simbo - she still has the fee, never even took it out of the bank. udon - I offered her the return ticket during one of our telecon's this afternoon it did seem to make a differnence, she replied thank you. I told her anytime she wanted i would escort her home. even after one day if she wanted. nam kao - Never a farang lady again. I am physically not attracted to them anymore. Whats one lie after almost a year, compared to the daily 20+ from my previous Farang GF, who never said sorry. richard - I still feel the same, i feel she is the one but i dont want to be rushed into it by the Embassy, I will take it slow it will be almost 2 years before we marry if we do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakhar Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 I tell my story not to say all foreign wome are horrible... My current wife is Thai. Love her a lot, been together for about 5 years now, and our firts little runt is on its way.... It has been a fast 5 years. But my point is, a symptom has been shown, a pattern has been established... I'd be running There are so many beautiful choices in Thailand, and many without all that bagadge. Heck, I'd be happy for the excuse to dump her and move on to the next godess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 You haven't known her long and the scare thing could be a scam as some have suggested. I've seen it before with some of the girls in the villages. In fact, still do see it. However, they are not ALL doing the scam thing, and there are many who are honestly look for a better life. For your sake, as you seem to have gotten hit with the "love" thing pretty hard, I hope she is a "good" girl and given some time things will work out for you. But you best prepare yourself. And it's a two way street with this "scam" thing, as some Farong do the same to the girls. Like some other posters here, I would be real worried about the lie thing. That was no small lie, and if I got caught in a lie like that I'd be "scared" too. Just curious, where is home town? Bangkok, village? Where does she live now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 i meant no serious relationship <{POST_SNAPBACK}> She applied for a visa to visit the UK in June ( which was rejected ) before she met you Spuds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alleypanda Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I think she just plays the game, 'oh honey I do wanted to be with you but sorry they rejected my visa' keep collect 6700 thb a month untill who know when. And she knew that even in Feb with you at the embassy her visa would possiblely reject again(single, no job , a sick mother didn't ensure that she has to go back to thailand ) How do you know for sure that the 600 pounds still in bank? did you see a current statment? or only a book bank she shows you? withdrew from ATM will not show in the book as long as you did not update it or she shows you a recipe from ATM? How long ago? Sorry to be doubtful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I think she just plays the game, 'oh honey I do wanted to be with you but sorry they rejected my visa' keep collect 6700 thb a month untill who know when. And she knew that even in Feb with you at the embassy her visa would possiblely reject again(single, no job , a sick mother didn't ensure that she has to go back to thailand )How do you know for sure that the 600 pounds still in bank? did you see a current statment? or only a book bank she shows you? withdrew from ATM will not show in the book as long as you did not update it or she shows you a recipe from ATM? How long ago? Sorry to be doubtful. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Ole Spuds hasn't known her very long at all. There's a sh*tload on trust IMHO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dugdig Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Why don't you send her a bunch of money(your life savings?)and then have her send it back to you. If you both are truly in love then this will be no problem. If she's after more money then she will not return it and you will know what is up. It will cost a bit to do this but if it turns out bad it will be better to find out now than to loose the same money (or more) and find out later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somtaamgaiyang Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Assuming that the girl is not playing a scam. She is probably very scared about the whole thing. She has nothing of her own, and she is being expected to emigrate to a country where she know only her "hubbie" who she hasn't known that long, no friends, no family, no money. Everyone loves certainty in life and her head is probably running endlessly with "What if's?". Having been thru a move with my wife and kids after being married 5 years by then, it was very hard on my wife. Only time will tell if she is really committed to the idea of moving, however, the fact that she is scared means that you will have to work very hard if the realtionship is going to work or she will pine endlessly to come back to Thailand. If she is pulling a scam then forget the whole idea it won't work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stroll Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Ole Spuds hasn't known her very long at all. There's a sh*tload on trust IMHO <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Isn't it the same woman he has started numerous threads on ever since he joined here? In spite of the wealth of detailed advice and information given by posters more patient than myself, he doesn't seem to get to a place within himself or in the outside world for sorting the story out. Getting an hour's counselling per day on the phone from his girl for 100 quid a month is good value, and no reason to be suspicious about her motives.Sorry, I am very direct at times, this is not meant as an insult but a serious pointer, bigspuds! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Ole Spuds hasn't known her very long at all. There's a sh*tload on trust IMHO <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Isn't it the same woman he has started numerous threads on ever since he joined here? In spite of the wealth of detailed advice and information given by posters more patient than myself, he doesn't seem to get to a place within himself or in the outside world for sorting the story out. Getting an hour's counselling per day on the phone from his girl for 100 quid a month is good value, and no reason to be suspicious about her motives.Sorry, I am very direct at times, this is not meant as an insult but a serious pointer, bigspuds! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yep. That's the one. A zillion threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackr Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I suggest reading 'Private Dancer' by Stephen Leather and then having a rethink! They are great actors/actresses... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I suggest reading 'Private Dancer' by Stephen Leather and then having a rethink! They are great actors/actresses... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> It should be compulsory reading for those in love with BG's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackr Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I suggest reading 'Private Dancer' by Stephen Leather and then having a rethink! They are great actors/actresses... It should be compulsory reading for those in love with BG's Spot on Doc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ijustwannateach Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Bigspuds, the leopardskin leotard usually doesn't change its spots. Until you have a chance to live with this girl for a long time, you DON'T KNOW HER AT ALL- but you do know she lies to you. Trust me. If you're willing to gamble all this money, time, and emotional attachment on someone you don't know, it's up to you- but chances are you're not the only fish on the same line [she can, after all, call ALL of you from her room if she's graduated from the bar scene through careful planning and frequent collection]. "Steven" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lopburi3 Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 i meant no serious relationship <{POST_SNAPBACK}> She applied for a visa to visit the UK in June ( which was rejected ) before she met you Spuds <{POST_SNAPBACK}> And he had to help her with a passport? Think there are more lies here than at a political rally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 i meant no serious relationship <{POST_SNAPBACK}> She applied for a visa to visit the UK in June ( which was rejected ) before she met you Spuds <{POST_SNAPBACK}> And he had to help her with a passport? Think there are more lies here than at a political rally. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> A nice turn of phrase Lop. Love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakhar Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Spuds, When a person analyzes things, they look for symptoms, and patterns... I hate to play games but once bittten twice shy... One time when my wife was at my apt... at this point of our relationship we were not married... any how, one of my female co-workers called my apt, pretending to be an ex-girlfriend, that my wife (at the time girlfriend) was well aware of. So any ways, I was just curious to see if she would relay the message to me, that my old gf had called. I went home, and sure enough, she told me my old gf had called! WOW... a level of honesty I hadn't seen in a loooong while. When she told me she that she had called, she did not carry on like she was hurt etc. she didn't play any head games... (of which I was guilty of) That ex-wife of mine was a master at playing the guilt game. Look at you spud, your girl lied to you... and then she twists the situation untill you feel like you are the bad guy! A tallent all women have, but still the fact is, she lied and for some reason you think it is your fault.... Regardless of the reasons, fear of leaving home, fear of not getting 7K baht a month any longer to her family etc. she should have be honest from the start.... You are 30, still young, man I envy you! Take this as a sign and move on.... just my 2 cents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IamMaiC Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I suggest reading 'Private Dancer' by Stephen Leather and then having a rethink! They are great actors/actresses... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> It should be compulsory reading for those in love with BG's <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I read the book, and My question is why is the attraction of a bargirl so much that a man loses his head (no Pun Intended) I mean their must be good bargirls, but for a farang man to lose his job and everything he has just to be with one. Maybe this Question will never be answered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orang_utan Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I'm sure it's hard for you to analyse things at the moment, when you are "so much in love" with her. Why don't you just stick to the plan but at the same time, cover your ass properly. Protect yourself, financially and emotionally and observe for a period of time. If something really go wrong in the future, you would have nothing to lose; otherwise both of you would live happily ever after! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivinLOS Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I am not going to make any comment on the relationship at all only offer some assistance that you can take or leave at your will. I know a visa service company in BKK that guarantees the VISA or the money back.. I thought this was total bullshit but I have been proven wrong with 2 visa applications done by mates of mine.. One of these was for a girl to go to the UK and after months of waiting and interview was denied.. Paid them thier money and 2 weeks later without any interview the visa was issued. How they do this I dont know but it was a legit legal visa.. TIT.. PM me is you wish to follow up on this.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NedKelly Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 You should do a search and re-open the old threads about B/G letters to their conscripts !! This will enlighten you as to your current situation. Well at least it is another side to an all too familiar story !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 IMHO The biggest lies here are the lies this guy is telling himself She is not telling the truth and he is lieing to himself that she is - From that point on everything else desends into rat sh1t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IamMaiC Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 IMHOThe biggest lies here are the lies this guy is telling himself She is not telling the truth and he is lieing to himself that she is - From that point on everything else desends into rat sh1t. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Maybe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sua yai Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Long distance realtionships are always difficult. I went through one with my ex Thai gf for two years before dropping everything and coming over to start a bar with her. There's always going to be doubt, particularly when you havn't know each other very long. I'm afraid I would tend to agree with the other posters who suggest that once one lie is told, it will inevitably lead to others. It certainly did in my experience - including her visiting other countries to see "Thai friends" whilst I was left holding the fort/bar. Hope I'm wrong in your situation, but always remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea and once you've got a bit of experience behind you - even if it's bad - you'll be the wiser for it. I certainly am and am now really enjoying my time here. Stephen Leather, eat your heart out - almost!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmw Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Has BIG SPUDS used ALL the capital letters? I see none for thailand,england,norway only the UK!!! Bye the bye,she is a liar and has just found another punter with more cash and can use CAPITAL LETTERS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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