Best 'worst' Isp Excuses

[niller74]

I am reading daily about the lame excuses the Thai ISPs come up with to justify their lack of international bandwidth, knowledge and customer service.

Therefore I think we should dedicate this thread to all the excuses from ISPs you guys have heard over the years.

Flame on!!

Edited August 19, 2008 by niller74

[Farma]

“Your switchboard and phone lines are too old, they’re slowing your connection”. I was using airbridge to their satellite server at the time.

[webfact]

“Your switchboard and phone lines are too old, they’re slowing your connection”. I was using airbridge to their satellite server at the time.

"Sir, we have a lot of rain. There is moisture in your line"

[stumonster]

“Your switchboard and phone lines are too old, they’re slowing your connection”. I was using airbridge to their satellite server at the time.

"Sir, we have a lot of rain. There is moisture in your line"

if you have the standard thai installation of phone line and added extensions - it could well be the case

[nidge]

Because you are using an apple and out internet is designed for windows, (ipStar)

[webfact]

“Your switchboard and phone lines are too old, they’re slowing your connection”. I was using airbridge to their satellite server at the time.

"Sir, we have a lot of rain. There is moisture in your line"

if you have the standard thai installation of phone line and added extensions - it could well be the case

Funny... because it wasn't raining for weeks when I received this expert answer. Second in line after the "rain excuse" is either to blame the customers hard- and/or software, and of course CAT

Edited August 19, 2008 by webfact

[TopDogger]

"Your switchboard and phone lines are too old, they're slowing your connection". I was using airbridge to their satellite server at the time.

"Sir, we have a lot of rain. There is moisture in your line"

if you have the standard thai installation of phone line and added extensions - it could well be the case

Yip, mine used to cutoff for a few seconds EVERY time it started raining.

[Veazer]

#1

Maxnet: "The techinician just ran a test and he said your router is too hot."

Me: "Really, he ran a test from your office?"

Maxnet: "Yeah, he just log in now."

It was my own personal combo router/modem, web admin was off and it doesn't show temperature anyway.

#2

Not really an excuse, but another classic moment. I was forwarded to tech support and told them i was frustrated that no one was returning my calls after many times of being promised that a technician would get back to me. On this particular call, they hadn't even asked my name or number.

Maxnet: "OK, we will have a technician check your line and call you back."

Me: "Really? What number are you going to call?"

Maxnet: "We will call you at home."

Me: "OK, so what is my phone number?"

Maxnet: "Sorry? i don't understand."

Me: "You just said your are going to call me back, right?"

Maxnet: "Yes."

Me: "So tell me what number you are going to call. I haven't told you who i am or what my number is."

Maxnet: "It's......we will...... [CLICK] "

[Naam]

swit op you modem prea

and then on again?

no, swit op!

[surface]

Me: "So tell me what number you are going to call. I haven't told you who i am or what my number is."

Maxnet: "It's......we will...... [CLICK] "

Try suggesting 9001:2000 certification to a manager next time you call. Would love to hear the results of that conversation.

[taxexile]

living at the top of a steep hill on koh samui ............ " hard for electric to go up hill , make it too slow "

[wrestler7902002]

After trying to explain the problems with slow internet, TOT lady says, "I cut your internet off. Now you no have problem. OK?"

Even if they do not know what's causing the problems, it would be nice to hear the words" I'm so sorry" but there may be no such phrase or anything remotely similar to it in Thai language..... Just a thought.....

[filingaccount]

"So what is causing the slow internet connection speed?"

"I don't know"

"So what does customer service know? I mean you are here to inform customers about problems. Any problems with the ISP network?"

"We know nothing, we just send your complaint to technician"

"So you are unable to give me any information at all about anything?"

"Sorry, sir, we don't know anything in customer center."

"..."

[Veazer]

living at the top of a steep hill on koh samui ............ " hard for electric to go up hill , make it too slow "

ha! that's classic. But shouldn't your upload speeds, outbound and therefore downhill, be screaming right along?

[wrestler7902002]

You have satellite internet that's not working properly and the technicians says, "We think that somone take the caybin that connektid from your dish to satellite in the space. Wire now missing. When we find, we call you...."

Edited August 20, 2008 by wrestler7902002

[Shah Jahan]

"There is something wrong with your computer - have to reinstall windows"

[Insight]

living at the top of a steep hill on koh samui ............ " hard for electric to go up hill , make it too slow "

Be honest - you made that one up... Surely...

[taxexile]

Be honest - you made that one up... Surely...

actually i didnt.

the "engineer" sent to sort out a phone line that was more often off than on gave the steepness of the hill and the difficulty the electric signal had in getting to the top as the reason .

the second engineer that came tightened a loose connection and all was well.

[TopDogger]

the "engineer" sent to sort out a phone line that was more often off than on gave the steepness of the hill and the difficulty the electric signal had in getting to the top as the reason .

Sounds about rite..

[phazey]

Having worked in the ISP industry for prolly 14 years now, i've heard a few (and told a few!)but here's a few things from this thread i can clarify.

Rain: yep is does indeed affect modem/ADSL connections - if you've console access to your CPE check the speeds when it rains - if you've raADSL then you'll see the drop.

Macs/Ipstar - sounds to me like a miscommunication as no apple driver (i know of) exists for the USB uplink to the CPE

Router temperature: easily obtained via SNMP (port 161) no need for admin rights

[Prasert]

"So what is causing the slow internet connection speed?"

"I don't know"

"So what does customer service know? I mean you are here to inform customers about problems. Any problems with the ISP network?"

"We know nothing, we just send your complaint to technician"

"So you are unable to give me any information at all about anything?"

"Sorry, sir, we don't know anything in customer center."

"..."

Absolutely true

I usually love asking the obvious:

"So, this is the service center?"

'Yes sir'

"What service are you giving me?"

'Uh....I don't know'

[Veazer]

...Router temperature: easily obtained via SNMP (port 161) no need for admin rights

Wow, i had no idea... I thought they were full of it. Anything else my router is willing to tell to strangers?

[RKASA]

Having worked in the ISP industry for prolly 14 years now, i've heard a few (and told a few!)but here's a few things from this thread i can clarify.

Rain: yep is does indeed affect modem/ADSL connections - if you've console access to your CPE check the speeds when it rains - if you've raADSL then you'll see the drop.

Macs/Ipstar - sounds to me like a miscommunication as no apple driver (i know of) exists for the USB uplink to the CPE

Router temperature: easily obtained via SNMP (port 161) no need for admin rights

Let me try this post a third time great connection here.

The rain would, just look at the pole wires its a wonder they work when dry. Funny back when my IpStar did work the rain even heavy rain didn't bother it.

IpStar has both usb and cat why use USB?  Did some not have both?

Router temp thats cool, thanks

[NHJ]

the technician he needed to install 800 meters of cable without coming to calculate the exact length and i had already three phone lines going to the home....

then he came to check and told me all cables were too old for internet...

install a new cable wasn't possible as the electric post was too far(looking on the left) while the electric post was 5 meters on the right...

[Rimmer]

IPStop n Start has no need for silly excuses they simply don't answer the phone when the system is not working.

[niller74]

...Router temperature: easily obtained via SNMP (port 161) no need for admin rights

Wow, i had no idea... I thought they were full of it. Anything else my router is willing to tell to strangers?

How much pr0n you downloaded over the last 24h

[phazey]

...Router temperature: easily obtained via SNMP (port 161) no need for admin rights

Wow, i had no idea... I thought they were full of it. Anything else my router is willing to tell to strangers?

Yes and No. Specifics like what you're downloading, or if you're googling girly pics are a nono - what your throughput is sure thing - you can tell a lot by traffic trends (for example a lot of open connections prolly means you are a P2P user...

Best way to find out is to download some sort of SNMP software and poll your device - 9 times out of 10 the read-only community will be "public" - if you get nothing, and know your CPE manufacturer/model then you can prolly also get a MIB file from your vendor - this is the dictionary SNMP uses to gather information regarding specific aspects of your device.

Ps. You may as well stop downloading the movie you are half way through - it's a bit crap.

[Insight]

There was one episode with a UBC technician who tried to explain to my ex that the reason the UBC box had give up was down to the PC speakers I had plugged into the TV. Your not supposed to do that apparently.

Obviously I wasn't there at the time.

[gzu88bv]

One day I just will be fed up with this LOS/TOT Internet crap.

Until about 2 months ago my download rate from a S. Carolina as well as from a Quebec server was 110 KB/s (Bestcyber package from TOT).

The last ten days above has significantly dropped to 50 KB/s and I just wonder what joke the TOT technician will tell me next Monday.

[RKASA]

Oh if I only ever saw 30KB/s again.  Wed. they came out and its been proven that IpStar works just fine and nothing is wrong here that was Wed.  I showed them the traceroutes and gave them a list of ToT ip's.  I am getting .5kB/s web pages 24/7 some ports work but I can't surf some ports and the speedtest.net page takes three minutes to open but tells me I have 266k.  I show him that also, only thing they can say is is not me or my eqiupment.   I made it clear last monday that I was done Friday, but my truck broke so I won't get into the office until Monday morn. and this account is done and the house is for sale I am so outhere.  Its not just internet everthing works this way now days, it sucks.  Four days and they can't just change an IP address on the account.   dahhhhhhh