Ignored By Thais At Work

[myauq]

Farangs in Thailand are such hypocrits. I would like to see what people would say to a Frenchman in the U.K for example, who requested everyone to speak French at lunch so he could understand better. Or perhaps some indian imigrants who request for everyone to speak Hindi at lunch so they can have an easy chat.

Yeah, but what if all the Brits were professors of French, and 5 Frenchman were in their midst? And it was a teacher's meeting? And half the Frenchmen didn't speak a word of English because they were new?

That's my situation, and the Thais still refuse to speak any English. Now what's your omniscient advice for these rude colleagues? Face it, Thais in general are quite socially backward in such international situations.

yep, pretty much spot on there

[lioness]

Your in Thailand why should they speak to you in English, try speaking to them in Thai, other than that perhaps you have bad breath or forget to put on deodorant.

[lifeisrandom]

man stevero destroyed this thread with his awesome posts

note to self dont fight with stevero on thai issues or i will look stupid like the people in this thread

[MrHammer]

man stevero destroyed this thread with his awesome posts

note to self dont fight with stevero on thai issues or i will look stupid like the people in this thread

for you my dumb friend i'll give you the advice of Homer Simpson: 'Never try. Trying is the first step towards failure".

[Birdman]

Thais do not accept farangs as someone equal to them. If you work in the same company they will be polite and respect you, but that's it. You can join them at lunch/dinner and you will have fun - sometimes. But all in all they will never be really interested in you and your life, even if you can speak Thai and this is why you will always be the outsider in a thai community.

The only way to be fully accepted is to live 100% like a Thai. I know some farangs, who do that, and they start to behave like Thais, also avoiding other farangs.

[toptuan]

i heard that farang get paid more than thais and do less work and are usually incompetent and often hung over

maybe thats why

Hey ! Leave the English teachers out of this !

We resemble that remark!

[mrtoad]

man stevero destroyed this thread with his awesome posts

note to self dont fight with stevero on thai issues or i will look stupid like the people in this thread

You don't normally do a bad job of it.

[Heng]

All of this social analysis... when it's likely that they just don't want to talk to you. This is a prime example of why they invented caller ID.

[onethailand]

Let's face it - the OP didn't come here for advice - all he wants to do is argue the toss.

I vote TROLL.

[cophen]

All of this social analysis... when it's likely that they just don't want to talk to you. This is a prime example of why they invented caller ID.

[madjbs]

I agree, strange behaviour, especially coming from a former monk.

[aehn]

Thais do not accept farangs as someone equal to them. If you work in the same company they will be polite and respect you, but that's it.

Exactly what i notice working in Thailand with Farangs, although a lot of my farang friends are polite and "respect" the thai friends at work, most farangs look down on thais.

Just take a look at this forum, it will give you a hint, hel_l, just take a look in this thread...

[mmushr00m]

reading OP's posts. I know why they avoid him/her.

I would avoid OP too.

[lifeisrandom]

Thais do not accept farangs as someone equal to them. If you work in the same company they will be polite and respect you, but that's it.

Exactly what i notice working in Thailand with Farangs, although a lot of my farang friends are polite and "respect" the thai friends at work, most farangs look down on thais.

Just take a look at this forum, it will give you a hint, hel_l, just take a look in this thread...

yeah most farang want thais to worship the ground they walk and do the whole "wow you come from england that is great manchester united is #1 i am so happy for meet you can you please come to my home to pleasure my wife and daughter as i worship you mr white man" thing

[roamer]

There are those topics on TV where you can read 7 pages and feel you've learnt something :D :D

[mr_hippo]

The only way to be fully accepted is to live 100% like a Thai. I know some farangs, who do that, and they start to behave like Thais, also avoiding other farangs.

I and a lot more like me are accepted by Thais. It all depends who you associate with - remember if you lie down with dogs you'll get fleas!

'Avoiding other farangs' - OMG, another of the 'I'm a farang, you're a farang; let's be friends!" brigade. Just because we both belong to the 'farang' group of people, why do you think that I may want to associate with you?

[Spee]

Is this rude or just another Thai cultural *cough* idiosyncracy I will have to get used to?

I am thinking of breaking the silence today, and asking them what they talk about everyday....

I would suggest buying a copy of Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." The book provides universal techniques and suggestions for establishing communications, verbal and non-verbal, and how to make yourself put others first in the thinking process.

[myauq]

Is this rude or just another Thai cultural *cough* idiosyncracy I will have to get used to?

I am thinking of breaking the silence today, and asking them what they talk about everyday....

I would suggest buying a copy of Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." The book provides universal techniques and suggestions for establishing communications, verbal and non-verbal, and how to make yourself put others first in the thinking process.

Yes, it's a great book.

I think you're right - I should give it to those people at work. I have a copy at home. They will love it. So useful for business too.

[toptuan]

Let's face it - the OP didn't come here for advice - all he wants to do is argue the toss.

I vote TROLL.

Pretty liberal, there, with the moniker "TROLL" methinks. (Fault of logic: "Poisoning the Well").

A forum is a place where you should be able to argue anything: devil's advocate, pros & cons.

So what's stuck in your craw? Just a desire to flame?

Edited August 26, 2008 by toptuan

[aehn]

i heard that farang get paid more than thais and do less work and are usually incompetent and often hung over

maybe thats why

My american friend who works as a teacher is earning six times as much as his thai colleagues, he almost comes and goes as wishes, yet the thais have much stricter working schedules, and he had never thought about how that might affect how his colleagues look at him. And i think he is not alone, a lot of us takes for granted that the thais are gonna worship the non-thai.

[toybits]

Try speaking with people of lower rank - the maids, janitors, drivers, clerks, secretaries. These people would feel honoured by your presence and interest in them. Then you can hone your Thai langauge skills. And you could teach them a bit of English for which they would be thankful for. They will invite you to their parties or drinking sessions and laugh at you for murdering the Thai language - but who cares. At least you will be a part of their circle.

You don't always have to remain in that circle. But somehow, I feel that these people are more real people than people of similar rank.

Its all up to you dude...

You expect them to speak English to you.

They don't want to speak English to you, cuz this's Thailand

You don't want to learn enough thai to be able to converse in their already on going "thaily" discussion, whatever that is, but you want to be included

Now you think they have the problem, but not you too?

for the hundredth time, i tried speaking in thai to them at first, and when nothing came of that, i just got frustrated and used my english. either way - nothing.

samuian - i'm with you. i work in a large company, interacting with foreign clients on a daily basis. this is one good reason the company, with its thai owners, won't go international.

it's not about needing to appreciate the langauge and culture.

[myauq]

Try speaking with people of lower rank - the maids, janitors, drivers, clerks, secretaries. These people would feel honoured by your presence and interest in them. Then you can hone your Thai langauge skills. And you could teach them a bit of English for which they would be thankful for. They will invite you to their parties or drinking sessions and laugh at you for murdering the Thai language - but who cares. At least you will be a part of their circle.

You don't always have to remain in that circle. But somehow, I feel that these people are more real people than people of similar rank.

Its all up to you dude...

You expect them to speak English to you.

They don't want to speak English to you, cuz this's Thailand

You don't want to learn enough thai to be able to converse in their already on going "thaily" discussion, whatever that is, but you want to be included

Now you think they have the problem, but not you too?

for the hundredth time, i tried speaking in thai to them at first, and when nothing came of that, i just got frustrated and used my english. either way - nothing.

samuian - i'm with you. i work in a large company, interacting with foreign clients on a daily basis. this is one good reason the company, with its thai owners, won't go international.

it's not about needing to appreciate the langauge and culture.

here's the irony...

the colleagues i am working with who are all in middle-level positions, and with whom i have been encouraged to take up a mentorship role with, find it the most difficult to communicate with me. but they all have very good english skills, and thus the means to do so.

besides them there are cleaners and secretaries (obviously much lower in the system) at my work. the secretaries and cleaners greet me with smiles and small chat every single day. as a result, i don't find it more natural to repay their friendliness by chatting and spending time with them. no problems there.

so, these people with whom i have less in common, and who have less communicative ability to interact with me, are friendlier and make more effort to help and show their goodwill. i respond to them in kind.

[Birdman]

The only way to be fully accepted is to live 100% like a Thai. I know some farangs, who do that, and they start to behave like Thais, also avoiding other farangs.

I and a lot more like me are accepted by Thais. It all depends who you associate with - remember if you lie down with dogs you'll get fleas!

'Avoiding other farangs' - OMG, another of the 'I'm a farang, you're a farang; let's be friends!" brigade. Just because we both belong to the 'farang' group of people, why do you think that I may want to associate with you?

You are accepted as what? As a nice farang, with whom it is sanuk to go out? Or as someone equal to a Thai person in all matters of daily life?

There are only a few farangs, who are like that. These farangs live exactly like Thais. They are mutated into Thai. And they prefer to associate with Thais more than with farangs. That is totally alright. It is up to them.

All the other farangs are seen as "farangs" by Thais, because the way of thinking and doing is different to the Thai way. It's simple.

[toybits]

Maybe you are trying too hard to fit in? Be patient and don't be in a hurry to become accepted into their circle. Keep interacting with people that want to interact with you and later work your way up.

here's the irony...

the colleagues i am working with who are all in middle-level positions, and with whom i have been encouraged to take up a mentorship role with, find it the most difficult to communicate with me. but they all have very good english skills, and thus the means to do so.

besides them there are cleaners and secretaries (obviously much lower in the system) at my work. the secretaries and cleaners greet me with smiles and small chat every single day. as a result, i don't find it more natural to repay their friendliness by chatting and spending time with them. no problems there.

so, these people with whom i have less in common, and who have less communicative ability to interact with me, are friendlier and make more effort to help and show their goodwill. i respond to them in kind.

[aehn]

Try speaking with people of lower rank - the maids, janitors, drivers, clerks, secretaries. These people would feel honoured by your presence and interest in them. Then you can hone your Thai langauge skills. And you could teach them a bit of English for which they would be thankful for. They will invite you to their parties or drinking sessions and laugh at you for murdering the Thai language - but who cares. At least you will be a part of their circle.

You don't always have to remain in that circle. But somehow, I feel that these people are more real people than people of similar rank.

Its all up to you dude...

You expect them to speak English to you.

They don't want to speak English to you, cuz this's Thailand

You don't want to learn enough thai to be able to converse in their already on going "thaily" discussion, whatever that is, but you want to be included

Now you think they have the problem, but not you too?

for the hundredth time, i tried speaking in thai to them at first, and when nothing came of that, i just got frustrated and used my english. either way - nothing.

samuian - i'm with you. i work in a large company, interacting with foreign clients on a daily basis. this is one good reason the company, with its thai owners, won't go international.

it's not about needing to appreciate the langauge and culture.

here's the irony...

the colleagues i am working with who are all in middle-level positions, and with whom i have been encouraged to take up a mentorship role with, find it the most difficult to communicate with me. but they all have very good english skills, and thus the means to do so.

besides them there are cleaners and secretaries (obviously much lower in the system) at my work. the secretaries and cleaners greet me with smiles and small chat every single day. as a result, i don't find it more natural to repay their friendliness by chatting and spending time with them. no problems there.

so, these people with whom i have less in common, and who have less communicative ability to interact with me, are friendlier and make more effort to help and show their goodwill. i respond to them in kind.

Its not an irony, that is usually how it works everywhere, its universal human common behavior.

[barky]

Thais do not accept farangs as someone equal to them. If you work in the same company they will be polite and respect you, but that's it.

Exactly what i notice working in Thailand with Farangs, although a lot of my farang friends are polite and "respect" the thai friends at work, most farangs look down on thais.

Just take a look at this forum, it will give you a hint, hel_l, just take a look in this thread...

yeah most farang want thais to worship the ground they walk and do the whole "wow you come from england that is great manchester united is #1 i am so happy for meet you can you please come to my home to pleasure my wife and daughter as i worship you mr white man" thing

It seems from this you and your pal lifesrandom have a chip on your shoulders about westeners. A little jealous maybe?

[myauq]

i don't care if they respect me or not, worship the ground i walk on or are secretly twisted-up with envy and rage because of me.

all i am concerned about (more interested in really) is having the respect i show for them returned in kind. that's all. even if it is just a small amount, for five minutes every week. not much to ask for that.

if i was a complete p@#(k to them i would, of course, expect to be ignored and not accepted. but when i have exhausted every means of effort, tried to listen, be patient and understanding, complimented, feigned interest, sat there day in and day out, waiting for - even just the smallest amount of - courtesy to be returned, i don't know there is much else i can do.

it's their problem, not mine. but i don't know how they are going to see that, in every other part of the world, what they're doing is quite rude. like i said before, i think they realise this. i can see their discomfort, but they're not strong enough to break out of their discomfort zones.

oh well

time for lunch by myself again

[sylviex]

here's the irony...

the colleagues i am working with who are all in middle-level positions, and with whom i have been encouraged to take up a mentorship role with, find it the most difficult to communicate with me. but they all have very good english skills, and thus the means to do so.

besides them there are cleaners and secretaries (obviously much lower in the system) at my work. the secretaries and cleaners greet me with smiles and small chat every single day. as a result, i don't find it more natural to repay their friendliness by chatting and spending time with them. no problems there.

so, these people with whom i have less in common, and who have less communicative ability to interact with me, are friendlier and make more effort to help and show their goodwill. i respond to them in kind.

.....

Its not an irony, that is usually how it works everywhere, its universal human common behavior.

Sorry, but no, it is not "universal common behaviour".

A number of examples have already been given in this thread to contradict such a theory.

Edited August 26, 2008 by sylviex

[dekka007]

My money is on:

Now that they know you - they don't particularly like you in a social environment HOWEVER to save a loss of face all round (You and them) because they initially started inviting you to lunch they need to keep doing so

Billy no mates

Edited August 26, 2008 by dekka007

[TopDogger]

I've not read the whole thread but....

Maybe they did not want you sat with them from the start?? Perhaps they only asked you to sit with them because your their boss / the "office farang" and they have to ask... They might want to sit there and gossip about things they don't want you overhearing during their lunch hour??

Why don't you sit with them once a week, every monday for example, and get the bill?... Then the rest of the time do your own thing, maybe try and tap one of the secetaries, go and eat elsewhere, etc, etc...

Get your own life and don't just follow them around every lunchtime and they'll have respect for it?!?..