Thai Men- Crazier Than The Average Farang?

[Tod Daniels]

In my humble opinion; the glorious "Land 'O Thais" and their ever smiling yet diminutive population is NO different than the population of any other country in the world. To categorize men in a country as this or that is useless. It is the individual who is good or bad, crazy or sane.

I have had my interactions with less than desirable people in MANY countries. Tourist areas in any country are about the same. They are filled with people looking to take advantage of the tourists.

I associate more with more thai women but it's by virtue of my employment than by actual choice. For the most part the thai 'working class' (what ever their sex) I associate, interact and/or have gone out with have been fine people, just trying to make a living, and further their lives.

I do concur with the poster who mentioned once alcohol comes into the picture the ability to accurately predict a situation can go quickly out the window. However, this can be said for any culture or race of people, as alcohol is the great playing field leveler. It can bring out the worst of any nationality. Once your inhibitions are lowered, your perceptions skewed, and your mind numbed, people do/say things they would ordinarily keep inside.

Unfortunately I must disagree that all thai men be painted with the same brush. I have seen my share of "crazy foreign men" and their less than ideal antics here. Antics, I might add, which made me feel uncomfortable being a foreigner here. Believe me we are all tarred with the same brush until proven different. Stereotyping is a dangerous double edged sword (always hold it by the handle with the sharp end pointing away from you).

Then again, as I don't know the O/P nor where they 'hang out', I couldn't comment on validity of their observations. Just because it has not been my experience doesn't invalidate it as being theirs. (The O/P's reality may not be compatible with mine, but that's okay too.)

[Scott]

I've been here around 20 years and I've never had any problem with Thai men. Treat them well, and they treat you well. I find them a lot easier to be around that most other countries I've worked in (and that's around 15 countries).

Men in general aren't much different than other male animals. They like to p*ss on all the fence posts in their territory. Any strange male coming in is suspect and needs to be ever so slightly subservient to the dominant male. Once "in the pack" you have to find your place. The only difference I've seen is that, because of the endless smiling, it can be hard to see trouble erupting--not with me, but toward other Thais.

A lot of farangs that I know think they are superior and can be quite unfriendly--not only to Thais but to other farang.

Of course groups of unemployed teens are something I wouldn't want upset with me, but that's pretty much the case everywhere.

[Klyph]

From my experience (certainly not "in general"), as a Thai girl who has seen her share of both the Thai and the Foreign...

You're equally crazy.

While Thai men are UTTERLY romantic... Moonlit dinners over the Chaopraya River, a hundred roses... I'm not kidding! They can also get very emotional, easily jealous, and often... clingy. Enough is not always enough.

The average Farang, while often down-right rude according to Thai standards, are more objective. And they're funny, do crazy things I wouldn't want any Thai associates to really hear about... But they have excellent comedic timing (maybe it's just me). Always surprises me when a Farang brings flowers, because that doesn't happen, the sky must be falling.

Sorry, strayed a little off topic, I'll stop now.

And I thought you were a bloke named Cliff.....

Ain't life full of surprises?

[Cuban]

On the surface, they are all polite and smiling and apparently friendly. But in my experience anyway, they are set off very easily and quickly turn into jealous and violent maniacs- especially when alcohol is entered into the equation.

I really do think it depends on the class of the Thais you are socializing with, if they are quick to temper after a few (or a lot of) drinks then perhaps you need to consider a different social circle. My experiances echo some of those above, Thais with money or real jobs are on the whole IME fine, but I can think of one that I would avoid after drinking. But I also know Thai men that earn next to nothing and also act with good manners. It's the person inside that you see more clearly when alcohol allows the true nature to be exposed.

[MayBeLater]

I've been here 7 years and I have to say that all my experiences with the majority of Thai men, especially in the South, lead me to want to avoid more than a superficial sawatdi krup now and then.

On the surface, they are all polite and smiling and apparently friendly. But in my experience anyway, they are set off very easily and quickly turn into jealous and violent maniacs- especially when alcohol is entered into the equation. Further, while the average tourist may feel that they are welcome here, I see a lot of Xenophobia demonstrated by the Thais, especially the men. They want your dollars and pounds and Euros. They can do without you.

Of course every culture has crazy men, but what makes this place scary is that famous Thai smile, which puts you at ease. Smiling as they plan your demise.

To believe that Thai man and Thai woman are that different (apart from being different sexes) is quite hilarious. They share exactly the same culture and values.

[HYENA]

I must be in a different circle than the OP and some of U here

I've found thai men, to be…….

Very polite, gentle, considered, girl's pleaser, respectful of opposite sex, fun to talk and have ordinary meals with, very funny too, and very family man

However, they tend to be clingy, a mommy's boy, easily influenced by external pressures and family.

One major factor that had stop me dating or marrying them is - "the in-laws", they will be too much factor in our relationship, a bit less workable for my western mind

At first my mom was almost fell down on the floor when I brought home my farang boy-boyfriend over x'mas holiday - during my school break….maaaany moons ago. She had thought most farangs are hard drinker, hard smoker, and womanizing in the sleazy way too much, etc. Just her general sense of seeing farangs in thailand.

But now she's ok and content with the fact that he's a very nice boy and a good husband. Plus he's non- smoker/drinker/womanizing, and very polite but with back bone, which were also the main major criteria for her future son-in-law

Just my opinion and abit more………….hopefully I stay on the topic

Of course a female would see a Thai man completely different than a farang male. THink about it; tens of thousands of choice women are whisked out of the country or into relationships leaving a good portion of Thai men wanting for a female but many women are smartening up and looking for the farang who is less likely to cheat and has money (can support family) which is important in Thai culture. Thais by culture cheat and do so often. Many of the women don't like it but this "high low" culture leaves them to worry quietly and tolerate it.

I'd be hitting the bottle, too if I lived in Thailand. You really have to hustle for your money and time and money for pleasure is almose impossible. Only the wealthy Thai men can pick and choose...the rest have a doubtless, horrible future. I know many, many Thai men looking for women but all the women have left the village for BKK or farangland. It's sad; I do feel sorry for them. It's also a culture that demands this high low treatment and for a male, it doesn't bode well being looked upon lowly only because of your ancestry or locale or accent...or even sun exposure!

All women can be moody from the perspective of a guy (even other women). Thai women are more catty then farang women; reminds me of an enitre culture stuck in high school gossip circles, lending, borrowing money, talking behind backs, etc. Everyone's scrapping for another baht in a country with absolutely no stability or certainty. I can't tell you how many Thais would love to get out but can't. We see the headlines but the Thais I know are sick of watching the rich flaunt and judge while the poor have no possibility of advancement.

[teacup]

Well I like thai men too if only they can be sensible like "Heng"

Heng: I know you here, I would wait for you to come back from amerika too

[Heng]

Well I like thai men too if only they can be sensible like "Heng"

Heng: I know you here, I would wait for you to come back from amerika too

As you might expect, n'Tea, I hear sweet talk like that all day long as it is. Thus I am (mostly, maybe not 100%) immune to it... unlike the other boys around here who I see you have eating out of your hand.

[Furbie]

I sometimes feel that Thai nationalism gets in the way of any possible genuine interaction with thai & farang blokes.Like when quite a few ask you what do you think about thailand,but they are only wanting to hear you say its great,rather than have a talk about it.Whereas with say burmese or cambodian people there seems less of that sort of thing,& you can actually talk to them about things that matter without any defensiveness.

I agree , there is a certain element of that. One of my female colleagues was complaining about another Westerner in the company who was always complaining about Thailand. When I pointed out that she had said many of the same things herself to me, she said she was Thai and it was OK for her, and OK for me because I spoke Thai (I love Thai logic).

While I would get upset in a conversation that centered around US bashing, feel free to tell me there are problems in the country: Bush sucks, we need to work on the education system, business has taken over the government, I can take it - but you better have your facts right. Thais are much more sensitive about this with foreigners, especially those who are casual acquaintances. With friends and amongst themselves, they have a lot of things to say about LOS.

Edited September 12, 2008 by Furbie

[teacup]

Well I like thai men too if only they can be sensible like "Heng"

Heng: I know you here, I would wait for you to come back from amerika too

As you might expect, n'Tea, I hear sweet talk like that all day long as it is. Thus I am (mostly, maybe not 100%) immune to it... unlike the other boys around here who I see you have eating out of your hand.

Oh those......nah they are just puppies,....some farang are craaazy!

but U r a "real man" to me!!! - Heng ROCK!!.....hooo hooo hoooo

[Fleetwood]

I am western but i lived in Thailand and had a Thai Husband. He became jealous, possessive and extremely abusive quite quickly. I did nothing to inspire this, i dressed respectfully, didnt get drunk etc etc. When i tried to leave him for discovering his other lovers, he tried to kill me. He was from a rice farming community in north east thailand. His family watched and did nothing. I since discovered he also had a Thai wife, along with two other western girlfriends. And that he tried to kill a previous western girlfriend and was physically abusive with other western girls, usually jealously themed. I heard many similar stories and witnessed at least two black eyes of western women with jealous Thai boyfriends. I must stress i also had some wonderful male Thai friends with western girlfriends that didnt behave in this manor. Personally, i wouldnt date outside my own culture again.

[Lorin]

I am western but i lived in Thailand and had a Thai Husband. He became jealous, possessive and extremely abusive quite quickly. I did nothing to inspire this, i dressed respectfully, didnt get drunk etc etc. When i tried to leave him for discovering his other lovers, he tried to kill me. He was from a rice farming community in north east thailand. His family watched and did nothing. I since discovered he also had a Thai wife, along with two other western girlfriends. And that he tried to kill a previous western girlfriend and was physically abusive with other western girls, usually jealously themed. I heard many similar stories and witnessed at least two black eyes of western women with jealous Thai boyfriends. I must stress i also had some wonderful male Thai friends with western girlfriends that didnt behave in this manor. Personally, i wouldnt date outside my own culture again.

How exactly farang girl become married to the rice farmer in Thailand? I would like to here more to that story...if you don't mind.

[IanForbes]

Mostly the Thai men I meet professionally are polite, courteous, honest and hardworking.

The Thais I might meet in a bar, on a beach, or near any tourist resort less so.

That pretty much says it all. I try not to generalize, but it's hard not to do so if you only meet one segment of society. I doubt if anybody who drinks too much can be used as an example of a society. In rough neighbourhoods with unemployed people you are likely to meet the crazier types.

I have several Thai male friends who are totally reliable nice guys. I've also met some crazy ones. I just don't associate with the rougher crowd.

[dumball]

OOOOOHHHH , so none of you saw those members getting at it in a parliament session with fists and feet mmmmmm , funny , I thought that was common knowledge , wasn't one of them charged or reprimanded , Thaiwise ? Anybody ? .

[elkangorito]

What a silly discussion.

If you want to compare something, compare "culture" & not the individual.

I do not agree with "indoctrinated culture" but to individualise it is silly. I know many Thai males & so far, none of them seem like lunatics.

[sassienie]

Thai Men- Crazier Than The Average Farang?

Given the high percentage of missfits and 'damaged goods' within the Farang communtity - I doubt very much that Thai men come even close.

And please get real - Missfit and damaged goods farangs proclaiming judgement on Thai guys?!

Hi, GuestHouse

Haven’t seen you around for sometime, nice to see you again.

Yes, I agree and to add:

I prefer the Thai smile, whether is genuine or not, rather than the flared nostril, why don’t you sod off stare from some Farangs I have encountered in the past.

The Thai smile acknowledgement is actually part of Thai tradition and is habit forming over the years. This is one tradition that I hope will condition for many moons to come.

Edited October 8, 2009 by sassienie

[nicknbg1981]

I must be in a different circle than the OP and some of U here

I've found thai men, to be…….

Very polite, gentle, considered, girl's pleaser, respectful of opposite sex, fun to talk and have ordinary meals with, very funny too, and very family man

However, they tend to be clingy, a mommy's boy, easily influenced by external pressures and family.

One major factor that had stop me dating or marrying them is - "the in-laws", they will be too much factor in our relationship, a bit less workable for my western mind

At first my mom was almost fell down on the floor when I brought home my farang boy-boyfriend over x'mas holiday - during my school break….maaaany moons ago. She had thought most farangs are hard drinker, hard smoker, and womanizing in the sleazy way too much, etc. Just her general sense of seeing farangs in thailand.

But now she's ok and content with the fact that he's a very nice boy and a good husband. Plus he's non- smoker/drinker/womanizing, and very polite but with back bone, which were also the main major criteria for her future son-in-law

Just my opinion and abit more………….hopefully I stay on the topic

That ugly yeah?

Im dating a Thai boy, and they seem nice to me. Usally well mannaered, but my thai boy is jealious and very clingy. But im totally fine with how he is.

[MrHammer]

Nah not really, at least you can get always get a good discussion about football.

I do think Thai guys are a little overly protective (or insanely jealous) of the women in their social groups in some clubs/bars/beaches. One time on on beach bar on Koh Samet where some of the guys would go to great efforts to put themselves physically between me and my friends and any women who they may know one way or the other. Like the girls would have to be restrained or run of with the farang. They probably would:D

[eek]

This thread seems to have brought out some narrow minded bigoted crap...

People should be entitled to be viewed as individuals and treated as such, not all stuck in one big nasty pigeon hole just because you had your own negative experiences.

[asiasurfer]

Of course a female would see a Thai man completely different than a farang male. THink about it; tens of thousands of choice women are whisked out of the country or into relationships leaving a good portion of Thai men wanting for a female but many women are smartening up and looking for the farang who is less likely to cheat and has money (can support family) which is important in Thai culture. Thais by culture cheat and do so often. Many of the women don't like it but this "high low" culture leaves them to worry quietly and tolerate it.

I'd be hitting the bottle, too if I lived in Thailand. You really have to hustle for your money and time and money for pleasure is almose impossible. Only the wealthy Thai men can pick and choose...the rest have a doubtless, horrible future. I know many, many Thai men looking for women but all the women have left the village for BKK or farangland. It's sad; I do feel sorry for them. It's also a culture that demands this high low treatment and for a male, it doesn't bode well being looked upon lowly only because of your ancestry or locale or accent...or even sun exposure!

All women can be moody from the perspective of a guy (even other women). Thai women are more catty then farang women; reminds me of an enitre culture stuck in high school gossip circles, lending, borrowing money, talking behind backs, etc. Everyone's scrapping for another baht in a country with absolutely no stability or certainty. I can't tell you how many Thais would love to get out but can't. We see the headlines but the Thais I know are sick of watching the rich flaunt and judge while the poor have no possibility of advancement.

I think HYENA has delivered the most appropriate reply for the topic so far. It seems to hit the nail on the head.

My wife read the OP’s (ChiangMaiThai) post and actually agrees with him. She said that’s the reason why she never would have wanted to get married to a Thai man. (And my wife is NOT from the bar.)

I don’t wanna generalise about all Thai men but I often heard that arguing with them when they are drunk, can potentially be life threatening. It seems that many Thai men easily lose their self-control when under the influence of alcohol. I would probably avoid drunken Thai males at all costs. (Thai girls never seem to get that drunk though… ) But I think sober Thai males are usually ok.

Ok, now. Where’s my own booze?

[phetaroi]

I think the old saying that, "If you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas." may apply here. Of course, I don't hang out at bars and karaoke joints, so I miss out on the sophistication of that clientele.

[IanForbes]

This thread seems to have brought out some narrow minded bigoted crap...

People should be entitled to be viewed as individuals and treated as such, not all stuck in one big nasty pigeon hole just because you had your own negative experiences.

Geeez, eek, quit hitting us with all that well thought out reason. We need more weird controversy to keep this topic going. How else am I going to get my morning laugh?

[cdnvic]

Thai Men- Crazier Than The Average Farang?

Given the high percentage of missfits and 'damaged goods' within the Farang communtity - I doubt very much that Thai men come even close.

And please get real - Missfit and damaged goods farangs proclaiming judgement on Thai guys?!

Hi, GuestHouse

Haven’t seen you around for sometime, nice to see you again.

Yes, it would be nice to hear from Guesthouse again, unfortunately the quoted post is over a year old.

[IanForbes]

HYENA brings up some very valid points. There are a group of Thai kareoke bars near the hotel I live in. Occasionally, I've stopped there for a beer with a friend. I DO see some hostility in the local Thai men if we talk to the ladies working there. But, I have no intention of having anything to do with those ladies so I don't have problems. But, I could see where I might if I tried butting into the Thai men's territory.

[sokal]

I've been here 7 years and I have to say that all my experiences with the majority of Thai men, especially in the South, lead me to want to avoid more than a superficial sawatdi krup now and then.

On the surface, they are all polite and smiling and apparently friendly. But in my experience anyway, they are set off very easily and quickly turn into jealous and violent maniacs- especially when alcohol is entered into the equation. Further, while the average tourist may feel that they are welcome here, I see a lot of Xenophobia demonstrated by the Thais, especially the men. They want your dollars and pounds and Euros. They can do without you.

Of course every culture has crazy men, but what makes this place scary is that famous Thai smile, which puts you at ease. Smiling as they plan your demise.

Men are crazy everywhere but these Thai guys drink more wiskey

[pjclark1]

Of course a female would see a Thai man completely different than a farang male. THink about it; tens of thousands of choice women are whisked out of the country or into relationships leaving a good portion of Thai men wanting for a female but many women are smartening up and looking for the farang who is less likely to cheat and has money (can support family) which is important in Thai culture. Thais by culture cheat and do so often. Many of the women don't like it but this "high low" culture leaves them to worry quietly and tolerate it.

Nearly all the Thai women I have seen with white men wouldn't be touched by any Thai man with a barge pole. Thai men like girls who are very white and very young. If they already have children they are not wanted by Thai men.

Keep telling yourself that your dark skinned 30 something Issan girlfriend with two children is desired by Thai men, eventually you might convince yourself it is true!

[bonobo]

Several posters have written about the unpredictability of Thai men.  Well, to Thais, I think Western men can be unpredictable as well.  It is all part of our culture and the cues we form to analyze a given situation.

Men are "crazy," period, men from all cultures, if I can be so bold to generalize.  However, Thais observing a man in his cups or a man undergoing stress can read the cues better to figure out how he will react, and his reaction in and of itself makes sense within his cultural context.

A western man in the same situation will also probably act out, but the difference is that the people observing him in Chicago or Manchester or Moscow also have their own cues to know how that man might react, and once again, his reactions are in line with his cultural norms.

Even "western" is too broad a brush here.  The aforementioned man in Chicago will generally act out in a different manner from the man in Moscow.  To Chicagoans, that Muscovite might be considered one crazy guy, while Muscovites observing that Chicagoan might think the same of him.

[JUDAS]

Of course a female would see a Thai man completely different than a farang male. THink about it; tens of thousands of choice women are whisked out of the country or into relationships leaving a good portion of Thai men wanting for a female but many women are smartening up and looking for the farang who is less likely to cheat and has money (can support family) which is important in Thai culture. Thais by culture cheat and do so often. Many of the women don't like it but this "high low" culture leaves them to worry quietly and tolerate it.

Nearly all the Thai women I have seen with white men wouldn't be touched by any Thai man with a barge pole. Thai men like girls who are very white and very young. If they already have children they are not wanted by Thai men.

Keep telling yourself that your dark skinned 30 something Issan girlfriend with two children is desired by Thai men, eventually you might convince yourself it is true!

That's funny All the dark skinned Issan Thai males wouldn't touch the dark skinned Issan females. Wonder how they have children up there ....

Edited October 9, 2009 by JUDAS

[Heng]

I think I'm going to sign over all of my property to my wife today, then I'm going to go for some cheese lasagna...

feeling CRAZY!

[mrtoad]

Of course a female would see a Thai man completely different than a farang male. THink about it; tens of thousands of choice women are whisked out of the country or into relationships leaving a good portion of Thai men wanting for a female but many women are smartening up and looking for the farang who is less likely to cheat and has money (can support family) which is important in Thai culture. Thais by culture cheat and do so often. Many of the women don't like it but this "high low" culture leaves them to worry quietly and tolerate it.

Nearly all the Thai women I have seen with white men wouldn't be touched by any Thai man with a barge pole. Thai men like girls who are very white and very young. If they already have children they are not wanted by Thai men.

Keep telling yourself that your dark skinned 30 something Issan girlfriend with two children is desired by Thai men, eventually you might convince yourself it is true!

That's funny All the dark skinned Issan Thai males wouldn't touch the dark skinned Issan females. Wonder how they have children up there ....

Yeah it's strange that.

All I have seen in this thread so far is just bigoted stereotypes about Thai males, Thai women and Western men. Surprised this one has been allowed to remain.