Sin Sod Again

[livinseoul]

My future wifes family have asked for 100K is this reasonable. Oh and do I get it back or NOT.

Has anyone ever got it back.

[Norrad]

100K seems reasonable. It is up to the parents wether they give it back or not. My final sinsod amount came to 250K and I got roughly 100K back, the rest paid for the wedding and a few upgrades to her parents house.

[Soutpeel]

My future wifes family have asked for 100K is this reasonable. Oh and do I get it back or NOT.

Has anyone ever got it back.

Dont count on it...

[Khutan]

I paid a reasonable Sin Sod, on the basis that after the wedding expenses were deducted, the remainder came back to my wife to help building the house.

Some of the family live in the house, everyone has won from this deal.

[F1fanatic]

If you're that stupid, just pay up and spare us all the thread.

Do we really have to go through this again???

[sassienie]

The sin-sod is mostly a practice of the higher classes for business reasons and if average people begin demanding this, it`s usually a con.

If my wife`s parents would have asked me for a sin-sod I would have told them to, sod off.

There are Thai families that have made seperating a Farang from his assets into an industry. Money is conned from the idiot in stages so as not to make the scam appear too obvious. The sin-sod normally being the first stage leading up to the buying of gold, vehicles, land, properties or businesses in the Thai`s name.

Fools never listen to advice or use comon sense, they only learn from experience.

How about the creation of 2 new forums. First one for those who have fallen hopelessly in love with these scammers and are just begiining the parting of their assets process and a second for those who have lost everything after the scammers have finished with them, describing their sad tales as to how they ended up.

[ronz28]

It doesn't stop with sin sod so I would minimize that to the extent possible since it may be wasted. Probably more significant may be future periodic funds to help out with the parents and occasionally sisters or brothers school expenses, etc. None of that should be scheduled but as really needed so they don't become dependent on you.

[Khonwan]

The sin-sod is mostly a practice of the higher classes for business reasons and if average people begin demanding this, it`s usually a con.

...

Not true. Whilst I did not give sin-sod and do not want it in the future for my two daughters, I can assure you that it is the absolute norm in my area of Thailand regardless of how poor the folks are. One of my Thai neighbours (already in a lot of debt) has just managed to negotiate sin-sod, on behalf of his son, down to 4 baht of gold and Bt60,000.

[vegas]

I recommend that the angry individuals who 'do not wish to go through this again' toddle off and read something else. Or go shout at the TV.

[tijnebijn]

Just make sure you built your home at least 5O km away from the elderly home ......

Just for keeping your life a bit easier

[slapout]

The practice of asking for, rebate of, use of, amount of, etc varies so much depending on local, age, history of lady, education, present position, parents attitude, and above all her feeling on the subject that I doubt if anyone can give a correct answer to the first question as asked. As a member for close to a year you should have been exposed to this subject as well as advice given on TV on a regular basis. If you want new input, OK, show her and her family a honest and complete statement of your worth and ask what protion you can keep for yourself. If you are all happy with the final figure, best of luck on your marriage.

[tmd5855]

Live Thailand, work offshore.

In a long term relationship (3 Years) with a TGF . Spend 25-33% of my leave at her parents house/farm up Sia Khao.

We had talked about getting married and I asked about Sin Sod before it was mentioned, expressed my opposition to it, since I was not buying a bride and it was my custom that the brides parents should pay for the wedding?

But understanding their financial position, would pay for any wedding?

For "FACE", Mama and Papa (+GF) could organise the wedding, food, music and drink etc. I give money in public so Papa gets "FACE" and he appears to pay for everything, what is left is given back to GF.

Nothing was ever spoken about the subject again?

A year+ after the above conversation and a year+ of physical work at the house and farm, there was a family gathering.

Told they were happy to see their daughter and I still together, learning Thai, living and eating Thai, that they could not take any money from me for wedding. Sin Sod had been paid 11 years earlier when she had mariied a Thai????

You do not pay "TWICE".

They would have and pay for, a simple wedding in the village, up to me & GF what else we wanted at the wedding and how many people from outside, we would pay for that. No problem I said.

You must live with the family, if they are a good sort and you sleep under their roof with no A/C, squat toilet, bowl to shower with, you gain "face". (Realise that farang have no face to lose......But it does not stop you earning "Face" with the family).

That is my satangs worth...............do not be rushed, or held to ransom. You meet a good lady from a good family, you'll be okay. Bad family........................... You'll know sooner

Edited September 28, 2008 by tmd5855

[GuestHouse]

I think Sin Sod is a wonderfully imaginative way for a family to get the husband to be off on the right foot.

You get to start as they mean you to go on.

[Sabum]

Why on earth would anyone live with a poor squat toileted, no air, pig entrail eating family? What kind of advice is that?!?! Your a good person if you go back 500 years in civilisation?

[tmd5855]

Why on earth would anyone live with a poor squat toileted, no air, pig entrail eating family? What kind of advice is that?!?! Your a good person if you go back 500 years in civilisation?

Why on earth comment if you cannot comprehend the point made?

[bravingbangkok]

100 000 is fine and no you should not expect that back, remember they should be paying for the party with this money ! Not you.

[Maizefarmer]

My future wifes family have asked for 100K is this reasonable. Oh and do I get it back or NOT.

Has anyone ever got it back.

Livinseoul

It is not the amount, but the manner or context in which it has been conveyed to you, that is the all important part.

As for getting it back? - yes, and no: it is very much dependant on what you & your wifes needs are, and how those needs are percieved and understood by the parents in law.

So perhaps you can share with us a bit about just how the whole subject has been handled to date i.e. have been put under pressure to pay x amount or no marrige? Is that how it has been conveyed to you?

As for the actual amount (depsite the fact that as a standalone figure by its self it is of little importance other than its actual monetary value) - well, to answer your question, its modest by most standards, and by ex-pat/Thai wedding standards - a very very modest amount.

[Khutan]

....You do not pay "TWICE".....

Exactly.

If she has been married before Sin Sod = 0 and nothing else.

[sassienie]

I think Sin Sod is a wonderfully imaginative way for a family to get the husband to be off on the right foot.

You get to start as they mean you to go on.

Absolutely hit the nail right on the head.

[Chaimai]

I think Sin Sod is a wonderfully imaginative way for a family to get the husband to be off on the right foot.

You get to start as they mean you to go on.

Absolutely hit the nail right on the head.

I hope you picked up GH's touch of sarcasm

[Mossfinn]

My future wifes family have asked for 100K is this reasonable. Oh and do I get it back or NOT.

Has anyone ever got it back.

Is it? or it could be, maybe not, it maybe, well possibly, I think it's.............................

Go to the top of the page between Members and Help

Click on Search

then More Search Options

In the left hand open box box type

+sinsot+sinsod

Make sure you are in All Forums

Perform the Search

You have enough material to keep you going for a fortnight, but trust me, you will be none the wiser.

If it feels right, paddle your own canoe.

Good Luck

Moss

[Mossfinn]

I hope you picked up GH's touch of sarcasm

I hope so, it was as subtle as a sledge hammer,

[WorldwideALOHA]

Why on earth would anyone live with a poor squat toileted, no air, pig entrail eating family? What kind of advice is that?!?! Your a good person if you go back 500 years in civilisation?

What Kind of advice is this!?!?

Traveling around the world you see that some of these societies living "500 years ago" are quite happy, content, and have a hel_l of a lot less problems than our modern materialistic societies...

I think a 'good person' can enjoy and share experiences with those who have less, without passing judgment and holding their nose. Probably learn a hel_l of a lot too.

There a lot of filthy rich people in the world that would look at your life Sabum and declare it to be like living in squaller, or how about those less fortunate than you who think you are a total sissy boy, because you can't survive without a toilet, air conditioning, and choice cuts of meat.

All things said, it's really lame to bash on the less fortunate.

[tmd5855]

Why on earth would anyone live with a poor squat toileted, no air, pig entrail eating family? What kind of advice is that?!?! Your a good person if you go back 500 years in civilisation?

What Kind of advice is this!?!?

Traveling around the world you see that some of these societies living "500 years ago" are quite happy, content, and have a hel_l of a lot less problems than our modern materialistic societies...

I think a 'good person' can enjoy and share experiences with those who have less, without passing judgment and holding their nose. Probably learn a hel_l of a lot too.

There a lot of filthy rich people in the world that would look at your life Sabum and declare it to be like living in squaller, or how about those less fortunate than you who think you are a total sissy boy, because you can't survive without a toilet, air conditioning, and choice cuts of meat.

All things said, it's really lame to bash on the less fortunate.

Well put.

Point I tried to get across that Sillybum missed .................

Your GF parents already know how outsiders (farangs) can/do view them. Showing you are willing to muck in/share on a regular basis for a long time gains you face/acceptance and you are not a "I am so superior, will not live as a tramp, where is my comforts"

Farmers get enough of above from the Thai city dwellers, let alone farangs.

If you cannot put up with rural Thai life, where is your wife/GF going to stay when you visit?? Bad move to keep them apart

[RusticCharm]

Showing you are willing to muck in/share on a regular basis for a long time gains you face/acceptance

I think that's complete and utter <deleted>.

'Acceptance'? You're kidding right? 

How long have you lived in Thailand? Let me know when the honeymoon period is over. Then try scratching below the surface of Thai culture just a little. It's surprising what you learn.

[nakhonsi sean]

I think some get lucky with the Thai in laws and some don't. I was told the sin sod should be 150K but anything would do! After a few months getting to know them they turned round and said they did not want anything, as long as we were happy, they were too and they understood that on a teacher's salary there was not much to go around. They are a relatively poor rural family with about 15 rai of rubber and palm. Even so, seven years into our relationship more money has gone from them to us than me to them.

[Soutpeel]

Showing you are willing to muck in/share on a regular basis for a long time gains you face/acceptance

I think that's complete and utter <deleted>.

'Acceptance'? You're kidding right?

How long have you lived in Thailand? Let me know when the honeymoon period is over. Then try scratching below the surface of Thai culture just a little. It's surprising what you learn.

And if I could another utter bollex as well in agreement... ....You are Farang, you always will be, so what sort of "Acceptance" are you talking about ?....

[WorldwideALOHA]

Alright, lets look at things this way. I think that the 'acceptance / face' that was being referred to, is probably something like this:

Rich guy shows up at YOUR house while you are watching football or whatever, eating your cheese puffs, and ranting on about the happenings in your life. Mr. Rich dude exudes an air of superiority to your and your vagaries and chastises the way you choose to live your life - "Why didn't you go to a better school, get a better job, drive a better car, follow a traditional career path, get up off the couch and get back to work, kiss more ass so you can join the country club..."

I'm guessing, you'd think that Mr. Rich is an asshol_e and you want nothing to do with such a total putz...

Look at it from a different angle.

I'm guessing one of the posters is pretty stoked about that bike in the avatar. Probably think it rocks, right. Well, some farmer in Issan thinks his little Honda Wave rocks and you dam_n well better believe that the boys in the MotoGP think your bike..., well you can't compare yourself to them, RIGHT.

[WorldwideALOHA]

Rich guy comes to your house, has a few beers, talks story, brings himself down to your level and doesn't make a show of it...

Hmm, not such a bad guy. I would have thought he would be a putz...

[tmd5855]

Showing you are willing to muck in/share on a regular basis for a long time gains you face/acceptance

I think that's complete and utter <deleted>.

'Acceptance'? You're kidding right? 

How long have you lived in Thailand? Let me know when the honeymoon period is over. Then try scratching below the surface of Thai culture just a little. It's surprising what you learn.

Started living in the Far East just a few years ago

First place was?

100 Dha Tain Village

Ban Chai

Keelung

Taiwan

1979

1982 first visit Bangkok..................................how long you been out here ?

Never ever had a honeymoon period.

Guys that spend their teen years in a home owing to a parents death grow up a little bit cynical. They also grow up without their head up their arse, or my shit smells better than yours attitude.

LOL at some replies, "I am right, everyone else wrong". Get out and see life, enjoy. Don't be a bitter, twisted, small minded, closed eye bum

Edited September 29, 2008 by tmd5855