Reflections On A Simple Isan Girl

[Shrek]

The Case for the Defence

Don’t really know why I am bothering to post this. I have no need for self-justification. I suspect that I got so pissed off at most Thai girls getting such bad publicity that I felt that need to respond.

OK me; I first came to Pattaya in September 2004 – had been married to a dominant English girl for 24 years – divorced – walked into a bar in deep suburbia and met Mrs Isan. The rest you’ve heard before.

Same same came back 3 or 4 times after first meet she stayed in Sakhon Nakhon with mum and dad.

We got a ULR visa in march 2005 amidst a deluge of tears and fears. We set up home in Barnsley, and 10 months later (after a hectic battle at the BKK embassy) brought the kids, aged 6 and 8 from their village in Isan to Monk Bretton !

Now 4 years have gone by and Mrs English is no better but her wisdom gets me thru every day. (I am 50 she is 35 going on 80 wisdom-wise)

The kids couldn’t speak a word of English when they got here but in 2 weeks we attend a ceremony for the most achieving children in Barnsley….ours are the first ever to be nominated in the history of their school. Mrs is walking ten feet tall.

Doubt there are two more different places on the planet in many ways than SakNak and Barnsley but if two people can share their souls then geography, climate, language, food, bla blah is not an issue.

As far as people are concerned I suspect Isan is so so similar to Yorkshire.

Mrs is a wonderful woman who works full time in England and has never begged a penny from me despite her humble upbringing.

We cuddle every night and every morning.

We fight sometimes but never sleep on a fight.

We listen to Maleehuanna every night.

We save for the days when we can watch the sun go down over Sak Nak.

So guys…..if it feels ok then follow your heart.

Gamble what you can lose. That’s money or emotions.

I won the lottery with Mere Kung. Sorry I suspect I took the last one.

See you in Golden Pond soon Keda.

You take care Kevin Thailand Coffin Dodger. Dont Fkin die before I get there.

Graham and Kung

Edited September 29, 2008 by Shrek

[Goldenbead]

It is nice to hear a positive story for a change. Congratulations to you and the Mrs and the children for being such high achievers. All the best.

[mahtin]

It is nice to hear a positive story for a change. Congratulations to you and the Mrs and the children for being such high achievers. All the best.

Been there, still doing that.

We're about to celebrate 10 years together.

It can happen, despite the nay-sayers.

Ain't it great.

Good luck to all who sail in them.

[Nomad97]

Shrek, that is a lovely story and I am so happy for you and your family. Live long and prosper!

[A. BOOZER]

Nice one Shrek!

Certainly hope that I don't 'Pop my clogs' too soon!

Chok Dee.

[TEFLMike]

It just goes that all can be well. Congratulations!

[mijan24]

Well said and it was good to read that You & Mrs Wonderful (for you) have the normal ups and downs of everyday married life. I happened to meet my Thai wife in Australia (here nor there really) but one day when asked "why did you marry a Thai" I thought and answered something to the tune of "I married her because of her in other words she was someone I liked and we seemed compatable.-- (being Thai was not even part of the equation) but now when I look back being Thai has been a bonus - in that I enjoyTthai culture, food etc.

Once again good to hear of someone who takes the good with the bad (ups and downs of being married).

[Carib]

Good post Shrek. !! Glad to see a positive posting now and than on T.V.

[cathyy]

I have met the wives of some of the expats here in Isaan, and I can verify that there are some positively angelic ladies here. Sweet natured, kind, honest, uncomplaining, loyal, you come up with a positive adjective and it fits these ladies. Cheers to the happy men who have found these gems!

I have met some of the other kind, too. It's sad when the men are still deluded but their friends all know better. Guys, listen to your mates when they warn you about a girl. They aren't aiming to snag her themselves, they're looking out for you.

[stephaniee]

glad to see it worked out for ya!

but it still doesnt negate the fact that bargirls are not good marriage material.

a farang bar owner once was asked how many succeded of the many he saw happen. he replied none or thereabouts. too bad he didnt meet you then he could have said one worked out

[jayjayjayjay]

This is a nice one Shrek. Congrats on those kids doing really well, my guess is you and your missus have a lot to do with this. Life is what you make of it. Cheers JJ

[tmd5855]

glad to see it worked out for ya!

but it still doesnt negate the fact that bargirls are not good marriage material.

a farang bar owner once was asked how many succeded of the many he saw happen. he replied none or thereabouts. too bad he didnt meet you then he could have said one worked out

I married a bargirl once, now wish I had never went into the bar .

She screwed my mind, kept the house and cars, shares etc. But it was great to be free of her..

Decided to make a new life, so left Berkshire, England .

Took up a foreign based position with the company and moved to Thailand.

Met another bargirl, could not be happier.

Its the woman that counts not her occupation.

Shrek, good on you mate, glad to hear the postives and success stories, well done and all the best for you both, the future looks good.

Bet your proud as punch with the children, ehh.

Edited September 30, 2008 by tmd5855

[stephaniee]

one thing good bout bagrils is that you bound to find a good one sooner or later. theres just so many of them!

[way2muchcoffee]

a farang bar owner once was asked how many succeded of the many he saw happen. he replied none or thereabouts. too bad he didnt meet you then he could have said one worked out

Of course the bar owner would only see the girls who came back because their marriages didn't work out. Any marriage that did, the girl wouldn't be around to report on the success.

It's the same on forums. Only the failed relationships get reported and discussed.

Edited September 30, 2008 by way2muchcoffee

[pab]

Really good to hear your story Shrek. Like you I married an Isaan lady a few years ago and we now have 2 beautiful daughters and a great life together.

So many times we hear horror stories that are probably true so for you to post a positive approach was refreshing indeed.

In any relationship there will be ups and downs and this is often complicated with our cross cultural differences and our relatively isolated location....but in the end its the person you marry not the country or the culture and as a team you just work it out together.

Good luck Shrek and I wish you and your family all the very best mate...

[thaimate]

The Case for the Defence

Don’t really know why I am bothering to post this. I have no need for self-justification. I suspect that I got so pissed off at most Thai girls getting such bad publicity that I felt that need to respond.

OK me; I first came to Pattaya in September 2004 – had been married to a dominant English girl for 24 years – divorced – walked into a bar in deep suburbia and met Mrs Isan. The rest you’ve heard before.

Same same came back 3 or 4 times after first meet she stayed in Sakhon Nakhon with mum and dad.

We got a ULR visa in march 2005 amidst a deluge of tears and fears. We set up home in Barnsley, and 10 months later (after a hectic battle at the BKK embassy) brought the kids, aged 6 and 8 from their village in Isan to Monk Bretton !

Now 4 years have gone by and Mrs English is no better but her wisdom gets me thru every day. (I am 50 she is 35 going on 80 wisdom-wise)

The kids couldn’t speak a word of English when they got here but in 2 weeks we attend a ceremony for the most achieving children in Barnsley….ours are the first ever to be nominated in the history of their school. Mrs is walking ten feet tall.

Doubt there are two more different places on the planet in many ways than SakNak and Barnsley but if two people can share their souls then geography, climate, language, food, bla blah is not an issue.

As far as people are concerned I suspect Isan is so so similar to Yorkshire.

Mrs is a wonderful woman who works full time in England and has never begged a penny from me despite her humble upbringing.

We cuddle every night and every morning.

We fight sometimes but never sleep on a fight.

We listen to Maleehuanna every night.

We save for the days when we can watch the sun go down over Sak Nak.

So guys…..if it feels ok then follow your heart.

Gamble what you can lose. That’s money or emotions.

I won the lottery with Mere Kung. Sorry I suspect I took the last one.

See you in Golden Pond soon Keda.

You take care Kevin Thailand Coffin Dodger. Dont Fkin die before I get there.

Graham and Kung

good for you mate,my marriage after 10 years is still like yours ,as are most of my friends ,good to hear posative things ,i once ran a marriage agency for thai and brits ,most were success stories.

[sakaew]

Gawd...those kids are a couple of ball tearers.

It goes to show that lack of educatonal opportunities is the only thing holding many Issarn kids back.

There's obviously the same percentage of latently clever people up in the Deep Jungle--wherein The Phantom holds sway-- as there are anywhere else.

More power to you for giving them the chance.

As for your relationship....anyone who is a Maleehuana fan MUST be a winner.

By the way, how much more successful would Maleehuana have been, if they had a good manager.

Carabou is good too, but in my opinion, Maleehuana shades him in the area of purr chewit.

GREAT voice and presentation but.....

M's whole presentation is nothing short of disgracefully amateurish.

He was performing in a Pattaya Pub a few months ago...so he's still around.

You showed rare and admirable judgement by not picking a woman who fancies look tung.

Bloody dirges!

Brian

[bonobo]

Not all bargirls are mercenary and not all "non-bargirls" are angels.  Everyone is different.  I know of one ex-bargirl married to a Kiwi living in Australia who is a tremendous wife, and I know of a travel agent who is a witch with a very miserable Danish husband. And I know of many, many Americans happily married to Filipina ex-bargirls.

Having said that, I think the chances that a Thai bargirl is more mercenary in her marriage plans is rather high, and a girl met through other means may be more interested in other aspect of married life rather than scamming a house, car, money, etc.  A bargirl has already proven that she is more mercenary than other girls inasfar as sexual relations.  She will have sex for money. So I think it is not hard to reasonably assume that if she marries, she may also have mercenary intentions.

Thanks for posting, Shrek.  We tend to read negative posts here in TV, and it is nice to get a reminder that there can be a lot of happiness to be found in relationships here.  I think your case is not all that rare.  I just think that guys in your situation are not driven to post while guys who have been burned need to post to help deal with their anger. 

[thaimiller]

The Case for the Defence

Don’t really know why I am bothering to post this. I have no need for self-justification. I suspect that I got so pissed off at most Thai girls getting such bad publicity that I felt that need to respond.

OK me; I first came to Pattaya in September 2004 – had been married to a dominant English girl for 24 years – divorced – walked into a bar in deep suburbia and met Mrs Isan. The rest you’ve heard before.

Same same came back 3 or 4 times after first meet she stayed in Sakhon Nakhon with mum and dad.

We got a ULR visa in march 2005 amidst a deluge of tears and fears. We set up home in Barnsley, and 10 months later (after a hectic battle at the BKK embassy) brought the kids, aged 6 and 8 from their village in Isan to Monk Bretton !

Now 4 years have gone by and Mrs English is no better but her wisdom gets me thru every day. (I am 50 she is 35 going on 80 wisdom-wise)

The kids couldn’t speak a word of English when they got here but in 2 weeks we attend a ceremony for the most achieving children in Barnsley….ours are the first ever to be nominated in the history of their school. Mrs is walking ten feet tall.

Doubt there are two more different places on the planet in many ways than SakNak and Barnsley but if two people can share their souls then geography, climate, language, food, bla blah is not an issue.

As far as people are concerned I suspect Isan is so so similar to Yorkshire.

Mrs is a wonderful woman who works full time in England and has never begged a penny from me despite her humble upbringing.

We cuddle every night and every morning.

We fight sometimes but never sleep on a fight.

We listen to Maleehuanna every night.

We save for the days when we can watch the sun go down over Sak Nak.

So guys…..if it feels ok then follow your heart.

Gamble what you can lose. That’s money or emotions.

I won the lottery with Mere Kung. Sorry I suspect I took the last one.

See you in Golden Pond soon Keda.

You take care Kevin Thailand Coffin Dodger. Dont Fkin die before I get there.

Graham and Kung

the main thing you did right graham was not moving to kendry

no but on a serious note, great to hear things are going well, i may pm you next time im home with my mrs also from issan and possibly meet for a pint if thats ok.

[track61]

Thanks for a great post, Sherk, good on you and yours. I can say, me too. My wife, her family, and all that comes with our current life pleases me immensely, mostly because they are, above all else, good people. I have never been able to understand why guys think chosing a mate here is so different that where they came from.

[Neeranam]

We celebrate our 7th happy year together in Oct.

I believe that that the chances are very,very slim.

However, I've seen and heard of quite a few cases when after 5, 7 10 years of 'happy' marriage the guy is booted out and the Thai husband comes back in. Of course that will never happen with us, we are different Actualy the fact that we survived a few years of me having no money was kind of proof that she's not a gold-digger. I'd be worried if I had a steady pension or over 50,000 a month coming in.

[bkkjames]

We celebrate our 7th happy year together in Oct.

I believe that that the chances are very,very slim.

However, I've seen and heard of quite a few cases when after 5, 7 10 years of 'happy' marriage the guy is booted out and the Thai husband comes back in. Of course that will never happen with us, we are different Actualy the fact that we survived a few years of me having no money was kind of proof that she's not a gold-digger. I'd be worried if I had a steady pension or over 50,000 a month coming in.

You hit the nail on the head there Neeranam, keep yourself permenently poor and your Thai marriage will last for ever.

[Neeranam]

We celebrate our 7th happy year together in Oct.

I believe that that the chances are very,very slim.

However, I've seen and heard of quite a few cases when after 5, 7 10 years of 'happy' marriage the guy is booted out and the Thai husband comes back in. Of course that will never happen with us, we are different Actualy the fact that we survived a few years of me having no money was kind of proof that she's not a gold-digger. I'd be worried if I had a steady pension or over 50,000 a month coming in.

You hit the nail on the head there Neeranam, keep yourself permenently poor and your Thai marriage will last for ever.

Don't you believe it.

Start buying houses and you're doomed. Simple Isarn women can't deal with power. Once you give them power, you're screwed. I've seen it many times.

[yabaaaa]

We celebrate our 7th happy year together in Oct.

I believe that that the chances are very,very slim.

However, I've seen and heard of quite a few cases when after 5, 7 10 years of 'happy' marriage the guy is booted out and the Thai husband comes back in. Of course that will never happen with us, we are different Actualy the fact that we survived a few years of me having no money was kind of proof that she's not a gold-digger. I'd be worried if I had a steady pension or over 50,000 a month coming in.

My wife's been getting 56000 a month for the last 3 years, she's still there no different and we are 6000 miles apart, its the person underneath that matters. She wasnt a bar girl and she was quite poor Im 44 shes 32. She keeps all the money I never check it if Im short in the UK she sends me money.

[njpski]

Great to hear so much positivity!

Every country has golddigging women - Thailand is no exception

Every country has great women who are superb wives, companions and mothers - Thailand is no exception

My teeluk is the way best thing that has ever happened to me.

[true blue]

nice post,great to hear something positive. with all the doom and gloom going on around the world.

[tmd5855]

one thing good bout bagrils is that you bound to find a good one sooner or later. theres just so many of them!

What is a "bagrils"

Reading your grammar, punctuation and spelling.........................I would keep out of the bar if I were you

Edited September 30, 2008 by tmd5855

[Neeranam]

nice post,great to hear something positive. with all the doom and gloom going on around the world.

What doom and gloom?

[Travel2003]

Hey Shrek,

Only thing I want to say,

Thank you!!!

[Radius]

Thank you for your post.

As someone in the absolute beginning of something that will hopefully grow into something similar to your relationship, I am very pleased to finally see a positive post about this subject.